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RE: Disrespecting Older Submissives - 11/25/2005 7:24:56 PM

BlkTallFullfig

Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline

quote:

"older women are better at pleasing and submitting."

Oh damn! I missed the "how to become better at submitting class."

Candystripper, if someone is not listening or respecting you in email, avoid moving onto another medium, as they don't get better in my opinion.
I have friends of all ages too, but it's only because they approached respectfully to begin with. M

_____________________________

a.k.a. SexyBossyBBW
""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to KatyLied)

Post #: 21

RE: Disrespecting Older Submissives - 11/25/2005 7:24:58 PM

RosaB

Posts: 852
Joined: 1/10/2005
Status: offline

I really believe the quote sums it up.

Also, I have too id's on aol, one I use to communicate with my family one more d/s related I get some of the same guys chasing me just as enthusiastically on both profiles and they use some of the very same pick up lines. I don't always call them out on it, but once when I did, the guy told me, well, its a matter of numbers, once and a while someone actually bites and he says he gets what he wants. Thenl he starts the chase up again for the next time. LOL Believe me, these youngins aren't looking for friendship, we're only deluding ourselfs if we think otherwise.

quote:

I'll be it isn't a case of him wanting someone older; it's simply you are female and breathing. To some of these guys, that pretty much fills the bill.

< Message edited by RosaB -- 11/25/2005 7:29:03 PM >

(in reply to MHOO314)

Post #: 22

RE: Disrespecting Older Submissives - 11/25/2005 8:22:01 PM

peppermint379

Posts: 111
Joined: 8/18/2004
Status: offline

I have an idea as to why the young men pursue older women. I think some have this idea we should feel flattered that a young man might be interested in us. It might be because they feel we just might be desperate for male companionship. These young men might not be able to attract a woman nearer to their own age. So they go after those they think would appreciate any attention. Of course, there are a few young men who sincerely just like older women for whatever reason.

I usually tell them any relationship we'd have would feel too much like incest since most are younger than my sons.

(in reply to candystripper)

Post #: 23

RE: Disrespecting Older Submissives - 11/25/2005 10:52:26 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: candystripper
(1) wtf is the attraction for a Dom in His twenties towards a woman my age (52)?

What is someone's attraction to being cuffed up all night? We all have our kinks.

quote:

(2) Why do these Men continue pursuing after being told "no, no, no"?

Cuz you keep letting them.

(in reply to candystripper)

Post #: 24

RE: Disrespecting Older Submissives - 11/25/2005 10:55:35 PM

LATEXBABY64

Posts: 2107
Joined: 4/8/2004
Status: offline

if you tell someone no it sh oudl me that at any age or thingy. if someone can not understand the world no they do nto respect you and there for i have to say GET THE F OUT OF OUR LIFESTYLE thank you this has been a public serivce anoucement
:)

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 25

RE: Disrespecting Older Submissives - 11/25/2005 11:00:55 PM

Marquisd

Posts: 61
Joined: 11/1/2005
Status: offline

quote:

(1) wtf is the attraction for a Dom in His twenties towards a woman my age (52)?

If you take the numbers and age out of that question and it would read "wtf is the attraction for a Dom towards a woman. Perhaps your profile is well written - you share interests - you have the same goals - it's just a great conversation.

Age is but a number. From experience I can certify, that I have dated without checking ID (other than legal age).......based on that the person and myself got along well - shared the same interests and kinks and/ or just played together well.

quote:

(2) Why do these Men continue pursuing after being told "no, no, no"?

i hate these misleading convos; i was honest and why He couldn't accept it mystifies me.

candystripper[/font][/size][/color]

you could select a certain age range in the filter of your mail.....so out goes anything that is younger than lets say 40 and anything that is older than 75 (cuz they need you to run into the paddle REALLY fast! lol)

then there is a filter for sub/slave/Dom/Dommes......etc.

so you can be as selective as you want.

I e-mailed a few younger submissives here locally to make them aware of a local BDSM group that was just started for younger people...........alas I think they filtered it based on age - their loss - life goes on

I think I am perfectly capable of answering the mail - even though it is a lot to do at a time...(I just don't like the automated stuff). People make an effort to write most of the time - so I think they deserve the same effort in a reply.

and finally................it takes a lot of time to trust someone with my messenger information........if you can't say it in a public forum.....either you should shut up or you are in an intimate relationship with that person.

Hope things go well for you and good luck

Marquisd

_____________________________

Relationships develop at the speed of trust

"Official Sadist and Dom of the 2010 Winter Games"

(in reply to candystripper)

Post #: 26

RE: Disrespecting Older Submissives - 11/26/2005 12:25:52 AM

Wolfie648

Posts: 600
Joined: 9/14/2005
Status: offline

quote:

O really? And here i was, thinking i'd need a strong Dom because i have looked after myself all my life. Hummm...i wonder how these myths get started?

candystripper

Look up the word strength (or strong) in the (a big) dictionary and see if you equate that with what you expect from a dom.

D (owner of j)

_____________________________

Possibly.

(in reply to candystripper)

Post #: 27

RE: Disrespecting Older Submissives - 11/26/2005 1:47:31 AM

candystripper

Posts: 3486
Joined: 11/1/2005
Status: offline

quote:

candystripper,

I thought with all my wisdom, I was going to be able to clear the fog for you but, grins, my thoughts have already been presented.

sinple solution, to be on the safe side, you be the invitor, it is the way of the path in any case.

Good Luck

CP/CelticPrince

Are You my fruend CP from the Lobby? i hope so...i have missed You.

candystripper (formerly shyster)

(in reply to CelticPrince)

Post #: 28

RE: Disrespecting Older Submissives - 11/26/2005 2:02:20 AM

candystripper

Posts: 3486
Joined: 11/1/2005
Status: offline

quote:

So to me I personally find women in their mid 20's to early 30's the most attractive both in looks and intellect when considering relationship potential.

As to the why cant they understand no no no...well that one is more complicated because there are many reasons. There are some of the more shallow ones though that come to mind. One is thinking they are the hottest thing this side of Satan's hairy nut sack, "there is no way this old broad is turning down me a hot young stud like me" type of thing. A lot of guys my age are that stupid and self absorbed. Another is they are used to being able to nag and eventually get what they want, sad as it is it's becoming the society that we live in that getting you in the sack is translated to that before dinner cookie mommy gave into after enough whining and gave it to them to shut them up. Can also be simply shallow you are older and presumably more intelligent on how to spot people who only want one thing from you, have a warm spot between your legs, and would make a nice addition to their list of victories. Then again maybe they just don't speak English.

Personally to me no is no. If we continue talking I might flirt a bit that's just how I am, but I'm not going to jump on you like a needy dog and hump your leg like some of these guys that can't take no for an answer.

Wolf1020

First, TY Sir for explaining a phenom which has puzzled me since i joined CM. Let me add my two cents to what You've said: a person in their late teens/early twenties IMO has to do the work of shaping an adult personality; mastering skills like making and keeping dental appointments; supporting themselves (even if it is on student loans, etc.); choosing which way to enter the workforce. IMO, people of this age need friends, guidance, wisdom, protection...but a much older Man may detract from their ability to form their personality and personal power. For this reason, while i have no issue with May/December relationships, i think the very youngest are to be treated with great care.

Speaking solely for myself; i had been on my own for all intents and purposes since i was 14. At 18, i naturally thought i knew it all (and history has borne me out, LOL). At 20, i was faced with a huge long distance bill i could not pay, and my 30-something ex-to-be paid it. It gave him entry to my life and reinforced the notion that he knew the ways of the world, while i was not equipted to survive.

What should have happened is, he should have explained how to deal with the phone company, or made me a loan of the amount i needed. By paying it himself, he set in motion a dynamic that lasted the whole 15 years we were together; "you cannot survive on your own".

So i think Your instincts as to Your targeted age group are on-spot. i would just remind You, if You want children of Your own, the risks of a developmentally disabled baby increase significantly in a woman over 35.

Once again, TY for Your insight.

candystripper

(in reply to Wolf1020)

Post #: 29

RE: Disrespecting Older Submissives - 11/26/2005 2:05:49 AM

candystripper

Posts: 3486
Joined: 11/1/2005
Status: offline

quote:

I as you all-- get inundated with the "boys", 19-20 somethings who want to serve--I too am very clear about My needs and wants--- I often wonder if they see a scene out of the old movies where the "older" woman takes them in and pays their way through life---egawd-----I pass up the screw top wines for the aged stuff---I do the same with subs---smiles.

MHOO314

Well, they're too young to have seen "Mrs. Robinson", LMAO.

candystripper

(in reply to MHOO314)

Post #: 30

RE: Disrespecting Older Submissives - 11/26/2005 3:06:28 AM

Spankerpoligoli

Posts: 2
Joined: 11/8/2005
Status: offline

There are many people here who dont understant what others want, and some of them are not capable of understanding "NO"

Well, if a man in his 20's loves a woman in her 50's this shows that this woman is like a wine, and of course we must realize the power of love again :)

(in reply to candystripper)

Post #: 31

RE: Disrespecting Older Submissives - 11/26/2005 3:23:42 AM

ExistentialSteel

Posts: 676
Joined: 1/18/2005
Status: offline

Just musing about older and younger, I find it rare that young men want older women for serious relationships. However, I do find it common for younger women to want older men. I mean that is the norm it seems. Ummm, maybe it is because the older men want younger women and the younger women know this. Well, dang, maybe I figured this out.

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(in reply to Spankerpoligoli)

Post #: 32

RE: Disrespecting Older Submissives - 11/26/2005 5:48:03 AM

thetammyjo

Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline

I recall in sociological and women's studies courses that studies into sexuality and sexual attitude indicate at (at least in the USA) older women tend to desire more sex, be more comfortable exploring different types of sex, and are more comfortable saying what they want. Some men really like these attitudes and changes; some don't.

Given the stated stocking fetish you said this rude man mentioned, it might also be that he thinks you are more likely to wear them than lets say another 20 something.

Who we are attracted to agewise doesn't need to be logical any more than anything else we are attracted to like body shape, hair color, clothing, etc.

Regardless he should have quit pestering you when you told him to.

_____________________________

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TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to candystripper)

Post #: 33

RE: Disrespecting Older Submissives - 11/26/2005 6:01:46 AM

IronBear

Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline

People disrespecting people isn't unique to the BDSM, D/s, M/s or Gorean Lifestyles. It is rife through all stratas of the human spectrum. people are disrespected due to colour, age, religion, ethnicity, race, hair colour, eye colour, the wearing of glasses, disabilities, politics, because their dick is small, boobs are too big or anything else you can immaging and most of what you cant immagine. usually, because the disrespector finds some thing they don't like or need to make themself feel superior. Disrespecting is just one thing which humans do regularly for no apparent reason and often they disrespect total strangers.

Is there a way of stopping it from happening? Unrealistically? Yes if you isolate every human being so they have no contact with other humans. Realistically? No. Is there a way to lessen the effect on you? Yes. Each person needs to learn methods of disallowing disrespect to affect them. Avoiding or ignoring contentious people where possible is one way and laughing at their rudeness is another. Each will find what they are comfortable with and what works for them.

< Message edited by IronBear -- 11/26/2005 6:02:29 AM >

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to thetammyjo)

Post #: 34

RE: Disrespecting Older Submissives - 11/26/2005 6:33:13 AM

Aileen68

Posts: 6091
Joined: 8/2/2005
Status: offline

Let's see. Some guys just like older women. It's that simple. And some guys just don't take no for an answer. It's just that simple. You just happened upon one who was younger and persistent. Perhaps he looked at it as a no means yes situation since you did go to another chat with him. I don't think it's an age thing for not taking no as an answer. There are a lot of older doms that will do the same thing.

(in reply to candystripper)

Post #: 35

RE: Disrespecting Older Submissives - 11/26/2005 7:03:16 AM

Wolf1020

Posts: 447
Joined: 11/7/2005
From: Anderson, SC
Status: offline

quote:

So i think Your instincts as to Your targeted age group are on-spot. i would just remind You, if You want children of Your own, the risks of a developmentally disabled baby increase significantly in a woman over 35.

Thats why I tend to focus on mid 20's and for relationships try to cap myself at about 30 or so. Like I said I think in the long term and right now a large age gap is fine but as you age the gap becomes more dramatic.

(in reply to Aileen68)

Post #: 36

RE: Disrespecting Older Submissives - 11/26/2005 7:13:27 AM

FTopinMichigan

Posts: 571
Joined: 7/5/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

Trot on over to the Persistent v Stupid thread for further details.........

I have no clue what makes these youngsters chase women old enough to be their mothers----I suspect they hang on a trifle longer because we were taught that it wasn't ladylike to tell someone to Just Fuck Off! :)

Oh, heck...I never tried THAT line to get rid of them!

I've found some younger men thinking that an "older woman" is more established, and probably has money, and is looking to "keep" a man.

If they contact me with that concept....they'd be surprised on BOTH accounts.

K

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)

Post #: 37

RE: Disrespecting Older Submissives - 11/26/2005 7:16:04 AM

AbstractSavant

Posts: 149
Joined: 6/5/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: candystripper

quote:

I as you all-- get inundated with the "boys", 19-20 somethings who want to serve--I too am very clear about My needs and wants--- I often wonder if they see a scene out of the old movies where the "older" woman takes them in and pays their way through life---egawd-----I pass up the screw top wines for the aged stuff---I do the same with subs---smiles.

MHOO314

Well, they're too young to have seen "Mrs. Robinson", LMAO.

candystripper

I'm 23, and I first saw The Graduate at age 13. Loved it then. Love it now.

(in reply to candystripper)

Post #: 38

RE: Disrespecting Older Submissives - 11/26/2005 7:32:34 AM

MHOO314

Posts: 3628
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline

I have read everyone of these postings here more than a few times and I truly think most of them have some very good wisdom--candystripper, I love your posts throughout the message boards--now as for the younger Dom--older sub--perhaps we need to look at in the context of the D/dynamic (yes the blasted slash word--)from My perspective as a Domme, I feel that they are seeking to be financed--they bring Me little if any real life value--talks about history, opera, theater, symphony--they have little experience--and they are almost always focused on the sexual do me aspect--(the Mrs Robinson syndrome I'd think)--but reverse the approach-- a 20 something Dom trying to select a mature well established woman of the world submissive---fisrt of all I find that a Dom of 20 rarely understands the subtleties of dominance, let alone the intricacies of life management---don't attack Me, there are RARE occasions--but they are very rare--I see most as a chance for a do--me with someone who has moved past the taboos of sex---someone with "experience" and many see the mommy complex--candystripper, you have indeed inspired some thought--and you are indeed a lady who deserves better----yes--no is no is no-- at our age, sub or Dom/me we ladies and gentlemen are HARDLY desperate--smiles

_____________________________

SLUTS: Southern Ladies Under Tremendous Stress...

Mistress Hathor

(in reply to AbstractSavant)

Post #: 39

RE: Disrespecting Older Submissives - 11/26/2005 8:18:18 AM

candystripper

Posts: 3486
Joined: 11/1/2005
Status: offline

quote:

Just musing about older and younger, I find it rare that young men want older women for serious relationships. However, I do find it common for younger women to want older men. I mean that is the norm it seems. Ummm, maybe it is because the older men want younger women and the younger women know this. Well, dang, maybe I figured this out.

ExistentialSteel

Based upon my experience, i would say You are correct. The 30-somethings Do claim They seek a LTR with me, but the 20-somethings never express any such desire. Apart from wishing one of us could change ages.

candystripper

(in reply to ExistentialSteel)

Post #: 40

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