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ORIGINAL: LadyPact

If I were a pro, such as I believe coupleofwhats is, I'd be saying whatever brought Me the advertising and the revenue. Wouldn't that make the most sense? To do the best for business? The lifestyle stuff, I could have on the side. The clients are, well..... clients. They became clients for a reason. It's not this random thing of they chose to pay because they had so many other options out there. This is why pro domination exists, isn't it? Supply and demand? Sorry, hon, but the last six months of seeing more Dommes than male subs at lifestyle gatherings tells Me that it's not a shortage of femdoms out there. It's more like many lifestyle dommes aren't willing to settle on certain things.

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ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

I think part of the problem is that many of these fetishes are not D/s or bdsm actvities,

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"To learn the art of submission a slave must first give up the desires that drew him to submission in the first place." Mistress Jasmyn Jan 2005.

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ORIGINAL: MistressAnna2u

Do you want to be maid for fun or do you really want to be a sissy maid?
you must make up your mind as to which as if you want to do it for fun then yes get a prodomme.

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ORIGINAL: pinnipedster

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ORIGINAL: dannyteasetoy
I've often wondered why sissys and crossdressers don't often hang out together and indulge in each others fantasy life. I'm not talking about bi sex, but maybe shopping for clothes and such. It's as if they are a bit creeped out by thier own kink when it applies to another man. I've read that most crossdressers are actually quite hetero and I don't doubt that.

Without going on too long, I would separate "crossdressers" from "sissies" here -- that is to say, there are plenty of crossdressers who are not particularly into the "forced feminization" fantasy, and they do in fact network and bond and help each other out; there are any number of clubs and events out there for them (I should say "us" but I never actually go to those events -- to me, personally, they seem like they would be too artificial.)  As to why the "sissies" might not, I suspect it could be that they are uncomfortable with the whole thing without somone there to "make" them do it. 

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ORIGINAL: pinnipedster

However, if she wanted me to do the same set of chores when she *was* home (at least for a small part of the time), insisted that I be properly uniformed and groomed, that I curtsey when addressing her, that I also provide some personal services (foot massages, fetching refreshments), that I be called by a feminine name, address her respectfully, and generally be treated as her inferior -- that I would find a much more interesting proposal.

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"To learn the art of submission a slave must first give up the desires that drew him to submission in the first place." Mistress Jasmyn Jan 2005.

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ORIGINAL: Jasmyn

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ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

I think part of the problem is that many of these fetishes are not D/s or bdsm actvities,

Fetishes?  I beg to differ they are fetishes and I will earnestly argue sissification, sissy maids, and adult babies are rooted in D/s, with either and all lending themselves extremely well to many facets of a D/s defined relationships and friendships.  It serves no purpose to polarize these activities as something seperate to and/or been diametrically opposed to D/s, other than to justify an author's distaste for them. 

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ORIGINAL: Lynnxz

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ORIGINAL: stella41b


Coupleofwhats is spot on with her advice here, go to a pro-domme. But not to pay, but to offer service. That is if you are genuinely serious about helping her and working in her house rather than feeding your own kink.

Ugh, true story. EVERY sissy maid/boy who has contacted me for a session has turned out to be horrible. They decide they want to clean in exchange for their session. Sorry hun, that means you have to *clean*. Flouncing around in a petticoat with a duster is useless- and scares the cat.

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ORIGINAL: Coupleofwhats

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ORIGINAL: LadyPact

If I were a pro, such as I believe coupleofwhats is, I'd be saying whatever brought Me the advertising and the revenue. Wouldn't that make the most sense? To do the best for business? The lifestyle stuff, I could have on the side. The clients are, well..... clients. They became clients for a reason. It's not this random thing of they chose to pay because they had so many other options out there. This is why pro domination exists, isn't it? Supply and demand? Sorry, hon, but the last six months of seeing more Dommes than male subs at lifestyle gatherings tells Me that it's not a shortage of femdoms out there. It's more like many lifestyle dommes aren't willing to settle on certain things.

...at what point in my response did I say anything that would make me one red cent? When have I ever? I suggested the idea of a house in his hometown (which may or may not exist: I don't know), and passed on a link for a woman that I'd heard great things about.

Guess I'll go buy that summer home I've had my eye on, now that I've made all this money posting on the CollarMe forum.

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ORIGINAL: LadyPact

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ORIGINAL: Coupleofwhats

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ORIGINAL: LadyPact

If I were a pro, such as I believe coupleofwhats is, I'd be saying whatever brought Me the advertising and the revenue. Wouldn't that make the most sense? To do the best for business? The lifestyle stuff, I could have on the side. The clients are, well..... clients. They became clients for a reason. It's not this random thing of they chose to pay because they had so many other options out there. This is why pro domination exists, isn't it? Supply and demand? Sorry, hon, but the last six months of seeing more Dommes than male subs at lifestyle gatherings tells Me that it's not a shortage of femdoms out there. It's more like many lifestyle dommes aren't willing to settle on certain things.

...at what point in my response did I say anything that would make me one red cent? When have I ever? I suggested the idea of a house in his hometown (which may or may not exist: I don't know), and passed on a link for a woman that I'd heard great things about.

Guess I'll go buy that summer home I've had my eye on, now that I've made all this money posting on the CollarMe forum.

LOL. It's a cute little yellow thing, but someday, we'll have to have a good debate on the eye rolling.

I'm not saying that your words here are making you the revenue. What I'm saying is, from a business standpoint, feigning interest in certain activities professionally would increase the number of clients, and as a result, increase the income. I may be *just* a lifestyle domme, but I do have some business sense. It would seem to Me that one of the best ways a professional could draw new clients would be offering what the clients can't find otherwise.

I'm sure your clients are quite happy with the services rendered. Still, you have to wonder how many of them would remain paying clients if they could get the same service for free? There are certain fetishes out there that can be an awfully difficult to find a match because there just aren't as many people interested from the other side of the kneel. That's why people can charge money in the first place. It goes back to supply and demand.

To Me, if there's a decent market out there for a particular fetish, it would seem it would make sense to offer that service. It may not especially trip your trigger in your personal life. However, you wouldn't necessarily say that to the client who you are hoping will be a repeat customer. That's not good for business. What I would think would be good for business would be saying and doing those things that make him want to come back.

Plus, you never know. It's entirely possible that a client out there would stumble across something you've written on these boards, and think his money is best spent on you. If people can find lifestyle connections here, why couldn't clients find a professional that fits them? Stranger things have happened.

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ORIGINAL: Coupleofwhats
Who's feigning interest? I, for one, have no interest in playing with sissies professionally or personally, ever since having a string of disappointing experiences with them.

I actually won't play with people for money if their scene bores or repulses me: that's how I run my business. The way I see it, there are plenty of other ladies who are actually into their scene, and they should do it with someone who enjoys it.

And of course they wouldn't pay to play with me if they could get the same thing for free. I sure as hell wouldn't pay my landlord if I could stay in my apartment for free.
The people I play with don't pay for me to tolerate doing something I hate with them. They pay so that I can afford to do what I like with them. I mean, if I worked a vanilla job, I'd play with my boyfriend and that would be the end of it.

I think of being a ProDomme as being an artist. You hone your skills and create scenes for the enjoyment of yourself and others. If you're good, you'll attract patrons who'll allow you to do what you love because they appreciate it.

So, no. I don't tell anyone what they want to hear so that they'll come back and we can be miserable in session together. If I wanted to be paid to do things that bored me, I'd use my degree and go back to the office.

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ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

I'm not saying that your words here are making you the revenue.  What I'm saying is, from a business standpoint, feigning interest in certain activities professionally would increase the number of clients, and as a result, increase the income.  I may be *just* a lifestyle domme, but I do have some business sense.  It would seem to Me that one of the best ways a professional could draw new clients would be offering what the clients can't find otherwise. 

One of the reasons I was successful at being a pro dominant was that I loved my work.  My enthusiasm showed, and my clients appreciated it.  They knew that I was not some gal with a rack of fancy costumes faking it for the cash.   Yes, I even generated the enthusiasm for sissies and crossdressers!  It was hard but I did it.  (Always did love playing dress up!  )

My clients were paying serious money for my skills, and they deserved REAL interest in them and what they wanted, not a clockwatcher who couldn't wait for the session to be over.  I assure you, if I had tried to cater to a market that I did not enjoy working with, such as AB's, my lack of interest would have showed, and my reputation harmed.  The men who see pro dominants DO post on the Max Fisch boards, believe me! 

It comes down to integrity, really.  I didn't take just any client who called.  If there wasn't a good fit, I recommended them to someone I knew if they wanted a speciality, or just turned them down if they were icky.   I wouldn't have been able to go in and do a lackluster scene.  That would have been cheating the client, and diminishing me. 

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ORIGINAL: LadyPact
We're not really so far apart on everything here. I'm glad to see that.

You might be in a better position with your personal business than some others I've listened to. Unless I'm mistaken, didn't you work for a house at one time? I do know some have different rules and such. I can't say I'm very familiar, but I'm still working on an understanding from the outside in.

So, is what you are saying here is that all of your clients are alike and you play with all of them the same way? I'd find that rather interesting. Most professionals, any profession, doctor, lawyer, hairdresser, etc, generally have some clients they prefer than others. Even when I Top, I have certain bottoms that I prefer over others. I would have to think it's the same thing. I don't play with them all the same way, and I don't especially think the monitary exchange has a lot to do with that.

I guess I'm looking at it from a small business mentality. I mean, you have to eat, right? (Don't take it the wrong way. That's just My way of saying you need to earn a living at what you're doing to make it work for you.) Well, if there came a time that the clients weren't especially the type that you have as much fun with, but you needed the income, wouldn't you still do what would be to your own advantage? When business is bad, I'd have to think that a paying client is better than no client at all. Heck, I've known lawyers starting up a practice that took some defendants that they really wanted nothing to do with, just to keep the shingle up.

You think of a pro domme as being similar to an artist. I can assure you that some of us simple lifestyle types are the same way. It's actually part of My bio when I need to advertise for demos.

None of this really does much for the OP. His particular kink, along with some others, seem to make it hard to find a lifestyle situation. My original thought when I posted was that it seems to be a shame that there is the great lapse in people finding a way for their needs to be filled. That kink doesn't tend to be the only one. I know there are other resources than are better than this one for AB's in particular, so that was the drive behind My asking if there isn't another venue that might work better. Still, I've very much enjoyed the discussion in how we see business differently. I wish you continued success in yours.


ETA: Yes, sometimes threads take on a life of their own. When someone posts a question, the discussion might turn into something entirely different. The OP of any thread never knows where one will lead, but sometimes, they can turn into interesting subjects. Dominant women are well rounded people. We talk about everything from kink, to small business, to protocol, to politics. Aren't discussion boards grand?