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RE: A question about labels - 11/27/2005 10:37:53 AM

perverseangelic

Posts: 2625
Joined: 2/2/2004
From: Davis, Ca
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I love labels.

I'm weird in that for me, when I label myself, I am declaring that I am proud of that aspect of my personality, and that I am open to it, and have embraced it as part of me. i have a whole string of labels I use in internet profiles and a couple others I use when talking about myself face to face.

I decided on labels based on how they feel to me, and what I want to say to the world. Because my labels are a way of declaring who I am, I try to pick ones that will convay what I'm trying to say. I avoid "submissive" and "slave" all together. I am a submissive person or my partner's girl, or an owned girl, for the most part.

That said, I -hate- the higherarchy thing. As with others on this thread I believe it reinforces the "different types of submission/play are better than others" idea. Even putting it in levels implies that a sensual masochist is somehow less than someone who perfers ownership relationships. Which I tihnk is patently false.

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RE: A question about labels - 11/27/2005 11:49:45 AM

daddysprop247

Posts: 1712
Joined: 6/24/2005
From: DC Metro area
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that levels thing is a joke. anywho, i think sometimes people try to overcomplicate the most basic and simple things. i am a submissive and i am a slave. i am a submissive because that is my personality, my nature, how i was born. i am a slave because i am owned by another person. if you are owned by another, you are a slave...however being owned does not necessarily make a person a submissive. there are some very unsubmissive slaves out there. but in most cases a slave is also a submissive natured person. if you are not owned, you are not a slave...i cannot stand when people give that title to themselves simply because that may be the relationship or lifestyle they desire.

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RE: A question about labels - 11/27/2005 12:35:09 PM

InTheMind

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Joined: 10/29/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MsSonnetMarwood

Yes and no.

9 Levels is on my "read this!" list for potentials that I'm talking to. While I agree that "ranking" as hierarchy is rather silly, I do think that the article itself is an excellent tool in discussing the possibilities of where these relationships can go. Much like the Kinsey scale, I think "where" one is at on 9 Levels is fluid and changes depending on where one is at in their life and influenced by who one is with. I do find a lot of people though think serving is "all or nothing" or they're well aware they lay somewhere in the middle but have a hard time communicating that.

I believe the pro Domme who's site I linked to for the article uses this list in exactly the same way you do.

To those (many) who object to the supposed heirarchy implied by the list, I'm not so sure any ranking is really there. The titles of each choice certainly give no bias. Perhaps, if instead of 1-9, the choices were labeld A - I, there might be less objection?

Another question which seems somehow related to me. Why, on collarme, can you label yourself Submissive or Slave, Dominant, but not Master?

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RE: A question about labels - 11/27/2005 12:58:39 PM

subsue6

Posts: 48
Joined: 9/10/2005
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My understanding of the difference is that a slave is a deeper version of a sub and will have fewer, if any, limits for her Domme.
sue

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RE: A question about labels - 11/27/2005 1:21:23 PM

candystripper

Posts: 3486
Joined: 11/1/2005
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We need labels as basic tools of communication so we can try to find one another....but they are only tools, not sacred things. Once you have found Him, let Him call you princess liea if He wants. At that point, what all the rest of us think won't matter a whit.

candystripper

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RE: A question about labels - 11/27/2005 2:45:57 PM

Wildfleurs

Posts: 1650
Joined: 9/24/2004
From: Connecticut
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quote:

ORIGINAL: daddysprop247

if you are not owned, you are not a slave...i cannot stand when people give that title to themselves simply because that may be the relationship or lifestyle they desire.

I agree with this and I do have to say I find it mildly annoying when people identify as a slave but have no actual owner (or have an owner of a few months or some very small period of time).

A (to me) fairly new fad of people attaching the word slave in front of their name like a title is also just a bit strange and annoying, it just seems a little to much like patting oneself on the back. And I do have the same reaction when dominants refer to themselves as master so and so. I first encountered that at a MAST meeting and was both amused and slightly disturbed I have to say.

C~

< Message edited by Wildfleurs -- 11/27/2005 2:46:48 PM >

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RE: A question about labels - 11/27/2005 3:11:57 PM

IrishMist

Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
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quote:

quote:

ORIGINAL: daddysprop247

if you are not owned, you are not a slave...i cannot stand when people give that title to themselves simply because that may be the relationship or lifestyle they desire.

I agree with this and I do have to say I find it mildly annoying when people identify as a slave but have no actual owner (or have an owner of a few months or some very small period of time).

How would you have a person, who was desiring to be a slave, introduce themselves then. Many put down in profiles and such that they are a slave or submissive because that is what they seek. A sincere question, I am really curious as to how you would like to see them address this part of their makeup.

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RE: A question about labels - 11/27/2005 4:27:44 PM

ImpGrrl

Posts: 575
Joined: 1/1/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: IrishMist
How would you have a person, who was desiring to be a slave, introduce themselves then. Many put down in profiles and such that they are a slave or submissive because that is what they seek. A sincere question, I am really curious as to how you would like to see them address this part of their makeup.

"Hi, I'm X." Works for an introduction.

If psycho-sexual IDs come up in conversation, then "I think I'd be most fulfilled in an m/s relationship, but I'm currently unowned" works for me.

(in reply to IrishMist)

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RE: A question about labels - 11/28/2005 11:42:22 AM

infyniti

Posts: 37
Joined: 8/13/2004
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A person we thought we knew pretty well began telling others that THE BRUCE wasn't DOM enough. That we had problems in our D/s relationship. That our relationship was problematic. All this from meeting us once!!! Reading some posts on a message board, and apparently drawing their own conclusion. It is really amazing to find out just how when you think you have " friends".... that is not the case.
Everyone's style of D/s is SOOOOOOOOOO different, yet we all seem to get caught up in the " if you don't do what we do, you are not Dom/sub enough" This thinking really needs to stop. It also causes alot of hurt feelings.

(in reply to slavejali)

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RE: A question about labels - 11/28/2005 12:20:37 PM

BeachBear

Posts: 30
Joined: 10/31/2005
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In my case, I guess I do subscribe to some lables, at least as far as they pertain to me, personally. While I have great adoration and submission to my Domini, I very much have my own opinions and will allow no fuzzing or blurring of things that I consider hard limits. "Slave" doesn't seem to work to well for me. "Submissive" is much closer. Given that I have always wound up with bed privilages and have done a ton of escorting "Pet" usually gets hung on me, and I am rather fond of the title. YMMV.

bear
Pet to the Domina Selaene

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RE: A question about labels - 11/28/2005 1:32:28 PM

GoddessDustyGold

Posts: 2822
Joined: 4/11/2004
From: Arizona
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quote:

ORIGINAL: IrishMist

How would you have a person, who was desiring to be a slave, introduce themselves then. Many put down in profiles and such that they are a slave or submissive because that is what they seek. A sincere question, I am really curious as to how you would like to see them address this part of their makeup.

Although I agree that unless and until one is owned, s/he is not a slave, it is problematic to a certain extent. I have had many boys contact Me who refer to themselves as slaves, or orient as slaves, and they have never even been in a D/s or M/s live-in relationship. I begin to define "slave" and I get, "well I don't want to be that much of a slave!" *W* I want a power exchange. I'm not up for a power struggle.
However, I don't let it bother Me if I see "slave" on a profile. I don't let it bother Me if I see or hear that one insists on being called slave because they are someone's "online slave". *Shrugs* If a party orients as submissive but puts the wish to become a slave in their profile that could work. But it is hard enough to find profiles with more than a few sentences. I described "slave" (My deifnition) pretty comprehensively in My previous profile. It didn't matter in the end.
The important thing is to make contact and go from there. I will find out what I need to know, sooner or later. Most often, sooner.

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