Very confused about what to do (Full Version)

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RedheadedWoman -> Very confused about what to do (9/3/2008 2:59:19 PM)

ive been mailing back and forth with a guy from here for about a month now and while i liked a lot of what he said to me some (a lot) of it is weirding me out. He's sent me tons of information about his past and boy oh boy is there a past. There was a 20-year marriage and then 5 women who he was seeing all at the same time who didnt know about each other but then found out when one of them broke into his account and let them all know about each other. One of the 5 he's been seeing off and on for the last 5 years although there also seems to be two years missing in his history as much as ive been able to figure it all out. And then most recently there was that same woman plus another woman who lent him a bunch of money (he says that she kind of forced the money on him) and then went to the police about him stealing the money (he moved to Canada after breaking up with her but im not sure whether he told her or not) but also with a fake story of abuse and a third woman that he got pregnant twice and kicked him out after her second miscarriage. And even though he cheated on the one woman hes been seeing off and on a bunch of times shes still involved with him. And he calls them all slaves even the ones going back to when he was in college (hes 51 now).

No this isnt Jerry Springer or some weird soap opera. Honestly this is all stuff that he told me and im probably leaving stuff out! He also started talking about "fucking your three pussies" about 5 days after we started talking which really icked me out. But a lot of the stuff that hes written to me is really romantic and ever since i got upset about that email hes been mostly a gentleman in everything hes written. So i really dont know what to do. Hes acted like he knew me from the beginning kind of (i mean in a good way) and wanted me a lot and that sounded great until i started thinking that he didnt really know that much about me (we've never talked on the phone or even IMed) and so who is it that hes wanting?

Wow. Writing this all down in one place makes it sound really crazy but really its all true or i mean that its all true about what hes written me anyway. So do i take a chance on him or is this all too much?

Help?!?

rhw




CallaFirestormBW -> RE: Very confused about what to do (9/3/2008 3:03:05 PM)

Hon, the fact that you're here asking the question means that you know the answer already. This guy sounds like a real work of art -- but I don't particularly like Picasso, so he wouldn't be the guy for me.

If you're as shaky about this as you sound, it's time to let go and let him find someone more gullible. If he pulls out the "I'm looking for a -real- slave" card, run for the hills.

CFB




PrincessJ77 -> RE: Very confused about what to do (9/3/2008 3:03:34 PM)

Run, do not walk.  Get far away....




RedheadedWoman -> RE: Very confused about what to do (9/3/2008 3:12:01 PM)

Part of what he wrote in his first email to me was
quote:

What I am looking for is at once very simple and extremely complicated. I want a slave who finds her greatest pleasure in pleasing me. As you might imagine, that is not as simple as it sounds. To further the complexity, the woman I take (and own, and cherish) will also be attractive (though not necessarily by conventional standards), vibrant, intelligent, creative, open-minded, fun-loving, self-aware, and masochistic. she will be eager to be trained to serve me and passionate about being the best slave I could possibly own. she will want intensely to belong to me and will have very few limits in how she shows it.


Is that what you mean by the "real slave" card?

rhw




CallaFirestormBW -> RE: Very confused about what to do (9/3/2008 3:17:27 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: RedheadedWoman

Part of what he wrote in his first email to me was
quote:

What I am looking for is at once very simple and extremely complicated. I want a slave who finds her greatest pleasure in pleasing me. As you might imagine, that is not as simple as it sounds. To further the complexity, the woman I take (and own, and cherish) will also be attractive (though not necessarily by conventional standards), vibrant, intelligent, creative, open-minded, fun-loving, self-aware, and masochistic. she will be eager to be trained to serve me and passionate about being the best slave I could possibly own. she will want intensely to belong to me and will have very few limits in how she shows it.


Is that what you mean by the "real slave" card?

rhw


No, the "real slave" card is the one that goes "Oh, yeah, I've had all these slaves, but they weren't REAL slaves because xyz happened and they turned out to be posers/losers/fakers/wannabes and they screwed me over and left."

Nothing is -ever- his fault, and the supposed slaves he has all screw him over for NO REASON, and if he could just find the perfect "real slave" everything would be all roses for them...

-that- is the "real slave" card.

CFB




RedheadedWoman -> RE: Very confused about what to do (9/3/2008 3:19:41 PM)

Oh i should say that hes not in Canada any more but lives like a mile from me now. ive heard (by email) from the slave that hes been with off and on since 2003 and she says that hes wonderful but has made a lot of mistakes but she sounds really paranoid.

Oh yeah and the case didnt exaclty go to try but theres something called a "pretrial agreement" where he says as long as he makes payments towards what he owes theres no case. He also wrote me (its too hard to summarize):

quote:

If I stopped paying, the state could either renegotiate or bring charges. This is part of the “victim’s rights” laws that were put in place a few years ago, basically – at least in this case – if a woman alleges abuse (which meredith did), even if there is no evidence, or (as in my case) the evidence shows she lied (which, in this case, it does), the fundamental principal that you are innocent until proven guilty is turned on its head. The state is required to prosecute and there are benchmarks they have to meet. If a prosecutor wants to drop a case they have to go through a process in which they prove a crime was not committed. They have to publicly go against the “victim.” Since the people in the DA’s office are almost always using their job as a steppingstone to a more lucrative
career (often in politics), that never happens.

In my case the prosecutor was starting to go that route. It would have been the right thing to do. It also would have required exceptional courage on his part. On Monday, he reversed direction. Not many people are willing to put their futures on the line to do the right thing.

I could have forced a trial. With a jury there are no guarantees, but I very probably would have won. The process would have taken many months, and put me much deeper in debt. This has already been going on since November, so I chose to take the deal they offered. It was always my intention to repay the money I borrowed, so this way I essentially get what I need. I don’t get a public vindication, but I need this damn case off my back more than I need it on the record that meredith lied.


This sounds awfully weird to me i mean the part about the prosecutor having to prove a crime was not committed. Isnt that unconstitutional? I mean we live in Massachusetts but still... i want to believe him and i guess i did for a while but now im wondering whether it can be true.

rhw




windchymes -> RE: Very confused about what to do (9/3/2008 3:23:13 PM)

I don't see what there is to be confused about......just because someone writes real gol-darn pretty words ON THE INTERNET doesn't mean he's husband material.  Sorry you're in denial, but he DOES live a Jerry Springer lifestyle!  I mean, for heaven's sake....go back and reread what you wrote, and remember that, as you said, you left a bunch out.

If your best friend had written that post and asked your opinion, what would you tell her?  This guy's a loser from the git-go, and if you hook up with him, or even continue the internet stuff with him, you are headed for nothing but trouble.   




RedheadedWoman -> RE: Very confused about what to do (9/3/2008 3:23:27 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: CallaFirestormBW


quote:

ORIGINAL: RedheadedWoman

Part of what he wrote in his first email to me was
quote:

What I am looking for is at once very simple and extremely complicated. I want a slave who finds her greatest pleasure in pleasing me. As you might imagine, that is not as simple as it sounds. To further the complexity, the woman I take (and own, and cherish) will also be attractive (though not necessarily by conventional standards), vibrant, intelligent, creative, open-minded, fun-loving, self-aware, and masochistic. she will be eager to be trained to serve me and passionate about being the best slave I could possibly own. she will want intensely to belong to me and will have very few limits in how she shows it.


Is that what you mean by the "real slave" card?

rhw


No, the "real slave" card is the one that goes "Oh, yeah, I've had all these slaves, but they weren't REAL slaves because xyz happened and they turned out to be posers/losers/fakers/wannabes and they screwed me over and left."

Nothing is -ever- his fault, and the supposed slaves he has all screw him over for NO REASON, and if he could just find the perfect "real slave" everything would be all roses for them...

-that- is the "real slave" card.

CFB



Oh. No he didnt say that. Hes said that hes made a lot of mistakes but learned from them The women who are angry at him are angry because he didnt choose them and two of them are crazy. I mean he says (and the former or is she current slave says too) that the two of them are crazy. But one of them goes back 5 years to the whole 2003 5-woman thing and the other i dont know about but he admits he owes her the money.

rhw




kiwisub12 -> RE: Very confused about what to do (9/3/2008 3:24:58 PM)

He is figuring out what to say to you so that you will trust him and meet him - and then i would say that all bets are off.  Sounds very manipulative to me.

Either that  or he is a real dweeb and is making it all up to make himself sound  like a player  - as if that would make him sound attractive to a woman. [8|]




Prinsexx -> RE: Very confused about what to do (9/3/2008 3:26:08 PM)

in my opinion/
A good master doesn't need to:
-- prove himself by how many slaves he has owned
-- talk about the other slaves he has owned (not protocol)
-- talk about his experience to prove what a good master he is

A good master simply needs to walk the walk not talk the talk. god knows how much talk-talk blah-blah i must have listened to.




kiwisub12 -> RE: Very confused about what to do (9/3/2008 3:27:56 PM)

What she said.




tychtyp -> RE: Very confused about what to do (9/3/2008 3:33:28 PM)

I think you should meet this guy. Don't tell anyone, though.




RedheadedWoman -> RE: Very confused about what to do (9/3/2008 3:34:36 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: tychtyp

I think you should meet this guy. Don't tell anyone, though.


Hunh? Are you serious or are you teasing me?




kiwisub12 -> RE: Very confused about what to do (9/3/2008 3:37:13 PM)

It would be interesting to actually meet him. See how full of sh*t he really is.     




CruelDesires -> RE: Very confused about what to do (9/3/2008 3:37:25 PM)

Edited my long drawn out response to say, if you do not already see what is wrong with the "master' in question, no one here will convince you otherwise. See you around in 6 months when you start up a "I should have listened' thread.

C-D




MAMandSlave -> RE: Very confused about what to do (9/3/2008 3:38:39 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: RedheadedWoman

Oh i should say that hes not in Canada any more but lives like a mile from me now. ive heard (by email) from the slave that hes been with off and on since 2003 and she says that hes wonderful but has made a lot of mistakes but she sounds really paranoid......


rhw



I would be very wary that you have only heard from them by email. How do you know it is not this same guy with another email account. make sure that when you get information from past submissives of this guy talk to them by cam or on the phone. Verify they exhist.




RedheadedWoman -> RE: Very confused about what to do (9/3/2008 3:42:26 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: CruelDesires

Edited my long drawn out response to say, if you do not already see what is wrong with the "master' in question, no one here will convince you otherwise. See you around in 6 months when you start up a "I should have listened' thread.

C-D


No no im listening. Really. ive been thinking about all of it for the past week (the trial was supposed to be last week) especially the last couple of days and getting more and more worried. Thats why im posting here. i have a really bad marriage behind me and dont want to make another mistake. And no im not the kind of person who should go near someone who talks really sweet because ive fallen for that in the past and im afraid id do it agian.

Weve been talking for a month now though so how do i end it? i dont want to hurt his feelings because he seems to really care about me (he calls me his "darling frisky"). i havent given him my phone or address so im safe if hes really crazy.




silkncarol -> RE: Very confused about what to do (9/3/2008 3:45:13 PM)

What she said!  Do you really want to be sucked into his Jerry Springer life with all that drama?  If a dominant doesn't have his own  house in order, how can he take control of someone elses?   

quote:

ORIGINAL: CallaFirestormBW

Hon, the fact that you're here asking the question means that you know the answer already. This guy sounds like a real work of art -- but I don't particularly like Picasso, so he wouldn't be the guy for me.

If you're as shaky about this as you sound, it's time to let go and let him find someone more gullible. If he pulls out the "I'm looking for a -real- slave" card, run for the hills.

CFB




kiwisub12 -> RE: Very confused about what to do (9/3/2008 3:45:40 PM)

Um - tell him that you feel that you aren't compatable with him. You don't need to expound on it, and then ignore all his emails. [:D]




yourMissTress -> RE: Very confused about what to do (9/3/2008 3:47:47 PM)

You already know the answer, as has been stated above.
 
We all have a past, a history with others.  We all have relationships that didn't work out.  It's difficult sometimes to face, admit to, and own our parts in those relationships.  Those people who cannot or will not do that are walking through life and others lives never having the opportunity to learn from their mistakes.  Usually, when there are so many ex's all with the same kinds of problems the problems are not with the ex's at all.




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