And everything around her is a silver pool of light
The people who surround her feel the benefit of it
It makes you calm
She holds you captivated in her palm

quote:

ORIGINAL: OttersSwim

That really struck home with me and got me thinking, so I wanted to ask how folks view this concept of "Grace and Dignity" as part of submission.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark
In the same breath you have to also remember, not everyone desires dignity nor grace.  Some people do not lack self esteem but desire to be used and lowered.  That itself is nourishment to some.  Just because they do not have grace nor dignity on their agenda, does not mean they do not understand themselves.

the.dark.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Wheldrake
In practice, it gets a bit difficult when Mistress decides she wants to see me dance around naked with a pair of her panties on my head. But I do try.

quote:

ORIGINAL: OttersSwim

Yesterday, my Lady and I were discussing the emotions of separation, drop, and anxiety.  She said to me, '' I want you to experience them all with grace and dignity."

That really struck home with me and got me thinking, so I wanted to ask how folks view this concept of "Grace and Dignity" as part of submission.

For me, my first thought was that it did not compute - I mean slaves and subs are not supposed to have or display dignity, right?   But upon further thought, I now believe that Grace and Dignity are a very important part of submission - it's a lot more than just surrendering.  It is responsibility to be comfortable in your skin  and to take what you are given for nourishment rather than detriment.

What I mean is integrating submission into your being so you are completely comfortable being who you are and from a point of reasoned consent be able to say "I am comfortable enough with myself that will let you do this to me, and I will work to channel your gift of dominance to positive benefit within myself, and hopefully reflect it back to you for your nourishment as well."

I am certain that integration of Grace and Dignity is required on the other side of the strapon too.  :P

I am totally new to all this, so I have read a bunch of profiles on the site trying to learn and that is where I really noticed the disparity of Grace and Dignity and integration.  A lot profiles are just full of bitterness, anger, and desire to -harm- or be harmed, or lack of proper thought "Uh...I want someone to dom me, and I will serve...thanks."  How nature says, "Do not touch." 

But there are other profiles, where the integration just sings through and you think "This is a person who has thought this through and they understand who and where they are."  There is a song by KT Tunstall called "Suddenly I See".  The lyrics capture this concept perfectly:

And everything around her is a silver pool of light
The people who surround her feel the benefit of it
It makes you calm
She holds you captivated in her palm

So I am wondering...am I on to something here?  How do you see it, or how has it expressed itself in your relationships to your Dominant(s)?

Thanks!  :)

quote:

ORIGINAL: colouredin

FIrstly why arent subs supposed to display dignity? Surely as a Dominant you would want to have a dignified submissive generally hell wouldnt anyone want their partner to have dignity, i dont think we see it like that enough you know partner but thats what it is.

Its not about a gift or any of that stuff and to be honest i dont see much of your post as relating to grace and dignity so I am going to respond to what you said. We are who we are for whatever reasons our pleasure, choices and desires are no less than anyone elses, I am not ashamed or what I am i dont think its a shameful thing (thats not to say I agree with myself 100% of the time but thats differant)

Differant people want differant things, there are of course many profiles that are sex based or physicality based or whatever, thats no less a choice than anything else its no less valid or whatever. Sure we can all be deep thinking about what we are but in reality we just are and thats it.

quote:

ORIGINAL: kyraofMists
Our behavior while doing something we do not want to do or don't like should not be any different than our behavior when doing something we enjoy. 

For him, it is all about attitude. 

quote:

ORIGINAL: Icarys
You may be new but you've got a better understanding than someone who usually is.
Grace is a sign that you've mastered your side, or at least your on the right path. It shows to me that a person has accepted wholly  that which they say they are or want to be.

Great post.

quote:

ORIGINAL: softpjOS

Neither are a bad thing unless you take them to the next level, conceit.