RE: How can a sub respectfully as a Dom what his intents are?

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RE: How can a sub respectfully as a Dom what his intent... - 9/6/2008 7:44:32 PM

Lordandmaster

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My gut tells me that, after seeing your picture, he is disappointed and is now cultivating you as "fall-back booty." You're no longer prime ass in his eyes, but he's willing to make the effort to keep your channel open in case it turns out that he can't find better.

But if that's too crass for you to accept, you could always just ask him. "Sir [or whatever], may I ask whether you are still interested in taking me as your sub?"

quote:

ORIGINAL: usemekinky

Shortly after sending him a pic he suddenly isn't answering my emails as often, an when he does they are very brief. He still talks like he is interested in me, but I am confused. I don't expect him to spend all his free time on me, I realize he has a life, I just thought he wanted me to be part of it.

I really like him, but I don't want to get further attached if he isn't into me. What do I say, I want to ask him, but I"m not sure what to say. How do I ask him what is up without seeming to forward?

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RE: How can a sub respectfully as a Dom what his intent... - 9/7/2008 6:59:21 AM

bakbar

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Thats a nice avatar!

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RE: How can a sub respectfully as a Dom what his intent... - 9/7/2008 7:08:58 AM

IrishMist

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quote:

ORIGINAL: NuevaVida

quote:

ORIGINAL: IrishMist
Nothing disrespectful, nothing hurtful...just honesty.

What a concept.

LOL, coming from me....ok, yea lol

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RE: How can a sub respectfully as a Dom what his intent... - 9/7/2008 7:16:04 AM

batshalom

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I haven't read all the replies (I'm supposed to be studying) but my best advice is rather vanilla advice. Give him about as much attention as he's giving you. You break the cycle of behavior that seems to be wanting to go semi-obsessive. If you ask him what his intentions are, and if he gives you any sort of answer (honest or not) you'll pick it apart and still wonder.

So distance yourself. Don't waste your time on it. You don't know him, you'll never know what's in his head (or anyone's, at least not by supposing or guessing or wishing) so nip it and continue to lead your own interesting life. Be well.

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RE: How can a sub respectfully as a Dom what his intent... - 9/7/2008 9:27:56 AM

iamnotgoof

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You can just be patient and wait.

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RE: How can a sub respectfully as a Dom what his intent... - 9/7/2008 9:41:36 AM

KatyLied

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I would withdraw an equal amount. You need to wait and see. You never know if he's talking to others or close to forming a relationship with another. I keep all options open until I inow for sure what is going on. Also, a clingy, needy sub is not going to look attractive. Men like to chase, that's the way it is with most of them and being too available cuts down on his fun. I know it sounds like a game, but some of it is a game, especially early on.

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RE: How can a sub respectfully as a Dom what his intent... - 9/7/2008 10:51:39 PM

Secretslave1138

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quote:

ORIGINAL: stella41b

I would handle this differently. You're not sure what's going on. You could ask him directly, as the posters above have advised. If he's genuinely 'busy' he might give you an honest answer. But then again if he was going to be busy and you are in some way important to him, wouldn't he have told you in advance of his non-availability?

When starting out in a new relationship don't go by the words, but by what someone does. You see you can ask him honestly what is going on, but he's under no obligation to give you an honest answer. He might be evasive, because he's probably stringing you along with three or four other women and it's a sort of game or competition - winner takes all.

This happens with some people when you mix the Internet with relationships. It's often not about winning their heart, but about filling a vacancy in their life. You're just another candidate.

I'd withdraw all contact - just stop contacting him. Move on. If he gets back in touch then you might be onto something. If not nothing ventured, nothing gained. Better to have dashed hopes than a broken heart from a half-hearted relationship.

ETA for typos.

i agree with stella41b here. She has the right idea. i know it will eat ot you, because it would drive me crazy. But, if you find things to fill the void, like looking for another companion, then you will begin to work threw it.

Hugs and best of luck!

< Message edited by Secretslave1138 -- 9/7/2008 10:52:36 PM >

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