Wit's end - Cost of BDSM (Full Version)

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tempted80 -> Wit's end - Cost of BDSM (9/6/2008 2:26:30 PM)

I have been around for a while and rarely post on CM, however I find myself increasingly frustrated with a standard topic.  The topic of covering costs and paying for equipment.  I'm so infuriated with people who think they can indulge in this lifestyle for nothing.  I have spent thousands of pounds on equipment and traveling to events, yet people seem to think that they can memo you with a view to a meet and a play and bring absolutely nothing to the collective pot.

Why do subs think that they get to play for free, without even offering to buy a coffee? Who do they think has paid for all the toys, clothing and play space, why should people get it for free?  What makes a sub think they can play without providing any of the equipment.

Why do they think they shouldn't even buy stockings, or pay for personal use equipment such as sounds and anal toys.  Really am aghast?

Ms T



MsCfromMelbourne -> RE: Wit's end - Cost of BDSM (9/6/2008 2:42:12 PM)

Some submissives actually think you are dominating for your pleasure, not to recoup your costs.

Heard of the "precious gift of submission"?  Dominants are supposed to be grateful for someone willing to indulge our evil fantasies.

Money is a difficult subject in any relationship and D/s is no different.  No-one likes being ripped off.

I find men very willing to go shopping for kinky toys and clothes for me.  You need to meet a better class of man if that is what you want.  I can afford my own, thankfully.





tempted80 -> RE: Wit's end - Cost of BDSM (9/6/2008 2:50:15 PM)

Agree with you, I can afford my own too and have spent my own money, what I object to are people thinking it's alright to free load, as to the gift of submission, what about the gift of domination?

I am not wishing to recoup my costs per se but neither do I wish to be taken advantage of.

Ms T



Politesub53 -> RE: Wit's end - Cost of BDSM (9/6/2008 2:55:12 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MsCfromMelbourne

Dominants are supposed to be grateful for someone willing to indulge our evil fantasies.



Hi MsC If You have a fantasy of flying me to Melbourne, first class, for the first Tuesday in November. Then i am happy to oblige [8D]



MsCfromMelbourne -> RE: Wit's end - Cost of BDSM (9/6/2008 3:00:25 PM)

Couldn't agree more.  No-one likes being exploited, Domme or sub.

What is it about you that makes subs want to use you and your stuff and run??  You are from Newcastle. Are Geordies notorious tight-arses??

I suggest stop playing with freeloaders who take you (and your dungeon) for granted. 

You could make men spoil you with dinner and gifts and reward them with play.  No second meetings for guys with moths in their wallets.   




Raechard -> RE: Wit's end - Cost of BDSM (9/6/2008 3:02:00 PM)

[:D]

I'm prepared to fly coach beat that Politesub.



Venatrix -> RE: Wit's end - Cost of BDSM (9/6/2008 3:04:37 PM)

I went on a date with one sub who had me split the dinner bill right down the middle, including the tip.  I did play with him a couple of times because this was early on in my dommely days and I wanted someone I could use for target practice.  He never once even thanked me for my time.  I still get calls from him asking to get together, which I ignore.  And he can't figure out why I'm not interested?  I'd rather stay home alone with the cat, a good book, and a glass of wine. 



camille65 -> RE: Wit's end - Cost of BDSM (9/6/2008 3:04:42 PM)

Oooh we're beating on Politesub?
[sm=crop.gif]

And OP.. not all subs expect that. Travel has become prohibitively expensive of late and I'd think most would be aware of that, those that remain unaware probably don't ever go anywhere.



MsCfromMelbourne -> RE: Wit's end - Cost of BDSM (9/6/2008 3:08:06 PM)

I checked with my submissive and he says - diplomatically - that we always enjoy kinky visitors, male or female, top or bottom

However he adds - undiplomatically - that we do not want any whinging Pommy bastards visiting, thanks.  All other nationalities very welcome :)



MsCfromMelbourne -> RE: Wit's end - Cost of BDSM (9/6/2008 3:09:17 PM)

.........oh unless it is to go to the cricket and show you how the game should be played..... 



Politesub53 -> RE: Wit's end - Cost of BDSM (9/6/2008 3:15:50 PM)

 Its no wonder we whinge and cant play cricket anymore, have You seen the summer we have had. I thought a day at the races would cheer me up. [;)]




tempted80 -> RE: Wit's end - Cost of BDSM (9/6/2008 3:22:50 PM)

Thanks for the replies, just had enough this evening, I'm being a whinging pomme too,

Summer has been dreadful, flooded nearby - maybe that's affecting my mood.

MsC - nah geordies are a great bunch, wouldn't live anywhere else.

Ventatrix - agree totally - they just wonder why people aren't intersted after they've taken the p*ss.

Polite- very ironic! 

No-one likes to be taken advantage of agreed, dungeons cost money to hire if you don't have one of your own.  Good dungeons are also hard to find.  Costs do need to be met and I don't see why there is an expectation that I should meet it.



Raechard -> RE: Wit's end - Cost of BDSM (9/6/2008 3:25:59 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: MsCfromMelbourne

I checked with my submissive and he says - diplomatically - that we always enjoy kinky visitors, male or female, top or bottom

However he adds - undiplomatically - that we do not want any whinging Pommy bastards visiting, thanks.  All other nationalities very welcome :)



Sorry English isn't my first language I don’t understand what you are saying. I struggling with this online translator which translates everything from my native Russian language to English.



Venatrix -> RE: Wit's end - Cost of BDSM (9/6/2008 3:32:18 PM)

Whinging is British English for complaining. 

For a thorough discussion of poms, see the following:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alternative_words_for_British

"Bastards" I'm sure you can figure out yourself. 

Online translators will only get you into trouble.



Raechard -> RE: Wit's end - Cost of BDSM (9/6/2008 3:33:16 PM)

[8|]



Politesub53 -> RE: Wit's end - Cost of BDSM (9/6/2008 3:49:52 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Venatrix

Whinging is British English for complaining. 

For a thorough discussion of poms, see the following:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alternative_words_for_British

"Bastards" I'm sure you can figure out yourself. 

Online translators will only get you into trouble.


British English Ma`am ?  Do You mean English English, or even the Queens English. Who needs a translator when i can get myself into trouble

Shall i go and stand in the corner ? [8D]




Venatrix -> RE: Wit's end - Cost of BDSM (9/6/2008 3:54:15 PM)

I was differentiating for all those out there who actually think Americans speak English instead of American.  And you're not fooling anyone, pretending that standing in the corner would be a punishment for you.



Politesub53 -> RE: Wit's end - Cost of BDSM (9/6/2008 4:00:09 PM)

Actually, i have never been stood in a corner. A whack round the head with a baseball bat seemed more effective, and indeed, kept me quiet for a bit. [8D]

Edited for spelling



Raechard -> RE: Wit's end - Cost of BDSM (9/6/2008 4:03:45 PM)

Did the hoodies get ya politesub?

damn Asbonians everywhere I look in this great country of ours.[8|]

(edited because I spelt Asbonians wrong)



Venatrix -> RE: Wit's end - Cost of BDSM (9/6/2008 4:35:58 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Politesub53

Actually, i have never been stood in a corner.


It can't be that difficult.  Maybe it's something you could do on your own?  I mean, I feel fairly certain that you wouldn't wind up suffocating, breaking any bones, or bleeding to death.  And, by going the DIY route, think of the money you'll save on pro-dommes.



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