RE: Dom switching to vanilla...???

RE: Dom switching to vanilla...??? (Full Version)

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MistressDolly -> RE: Dom switching to vanilla...??? (11/20/2008 10:31:55 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: urlittleprincess hello DavanKael...inconsistency drives me nuts as well...i thrive on routine and knowing the expectations...and i crave that so badly from him...im living here with him already so why can't he just be who he portrayed himself to be for the last 2 years? i want to feel safe and secure with him...but as it stands, i dont 'feel' that i belong... Perhaps because it is far too easy to "be" anything from afar. I know what you mean about consistency being crucial! I wish you the best.... ------------- The prior was a "fast reply": "and lately told me that while He won't try to control what i do with my spare time, friends etc His word in the house will be the rule." Sounds equivalent to: "Though My word around here is final, don't expect me to put forth energy, thought, effort or imagination in leading, controlling and dominating." Sounds like a lazy form of domination.

urlittleprincess -> RE: Dom switching to vanilla...??? (11/20/2008 11:32:57 AM)
thank you MistressDolly...you are right of course...it is easy to be anything from afar...we would spend 7-14 days together a month but i suppose it is easy to be on best behavior for a specified length of time...he has changed his tune slowly and has been making the decisions even regarding my friends or what i do outside of this home...i am very consistent, even in my inconsistencies! lol thanks for the best wishes!

MistressDolly -> RE: Dom switching to vanilla...??? (11/20/2008 11:36:09 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: urlittleprincess thank you MistressDolly...you are right of course...it is easy to be anything from afar...we would spend 7-14 days together a month but i suppose it is easy to be on best behavior for a specified length of time...he has changed his tune slowly and has been making the decisions even regarding my friends or what i do outside of this home...i am very consistent, even in my inconsistencies! lol thanks for the best wishes! lol ;) Make sure "he" is consistent and wants to be! It takes much effort to go there... :)

urlittleprincess -> RE: Dom switching to vanilla...??? (11/20/2008 11:36:34 AM)
thank you DavanKael for the best wishes...same to you!

MasterTslave -> RE: Dom switching to vanilla...??? (11/20/2008 2:14:18 PM)
maybe he is under stress...he may just need a break...may just want to "take it easy" and vanilla it for a little while. If you love him/want to be with him, give him his time. If Master T told me today that he was done and wanted a break or vice versa, we would still be in love...it would be a little strange, but not the end of the world

urlittleprincess -> RE: Dom switching to vanilla...??? (11/20/2008 3:11:02 PM)
He is under alot of stress actually...He has a sick co-worker who He has been picking up the slack for...He vents to me about His job and the stresses He feels as well as not supported by His manager, etc...i do beleive He feels a large sense of comfort with me...i take care of Him and His needs...and He takes care of me...i just feel lost...acting like the sub/slave i have always been but now without an actual D/s dynamic...i guess that isn't entirely true...there is still a dynamic happening...and He is becoming more dominant but without actually calling it anything. am i the only one who wants the dynamic verbalized? thank you MasterTslave for pointing that out to me...once again i suppose actions are more important than words sometimes...His actions say He love and values me so why do i want the words...why do i want to hear Him say "I own you slut..." like He used to??? <sigh> as an aside, i am going home tomorrow for a week...can't wait to see my Mom and family! :) i am going to miss Him though and i thnk He will miss me too...i know He will...

DannyDemanding -> RE: Dom switching to vanilla...??? (11/24/2008 2:30:04 AM)
I have the same situation, but in reverse (and to a far greater extreme.) My advice to you would be to end the relationship now and move on, if that's a viable option. For me, it's not, so I guess it's easy for me to see how green those pastures are on the other side...

urlittleprincess -> RE: Dom switching to vanilla...??? (11/24/2008 3:19:57 PM)
well...i am visiting my family so am away from him for a few days...we've been living together for about 3 weeks now...im enjoying my time with my family though! i miss him and he seems to be missing me...calls alot which i like...i mean, if he wasnt missing or thinking of me he wouldn't call..right? thank you DannyDemanding...is there no hope for your relationship to become what you wish it to be?? as stated in previous posts, i see Him slowly becoming more dominant again...if it continues i will be very happy...if not, i can always go home! if i dont try, i will never know and end up with regrets...and that is one thing i can't live with!! :)

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