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submissive to one or submissive to ALL? - 11/28/2005 11:33:50 AM   
infyniti


Posts: 37
Joined: 8/13/2004
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Do others expect submissives to be submissive to ALL Dominants? I have come across my share of people who believe this to be true. " Submissives do not talk to Dominants like that." I do not subscribe to that mentality. Apparently this has caused some people to either label me " Dom" or state that I have no respect for other Doms.
All this seems to far from reality for me. Respect is earned. I have one Dom and do not submit to others nor am i expected to. This causes problem in group settings. Why? Other Doms. do not get " yes Sir" No sir, or master anything in conversation. I am polite and treat everyone as i would someone in a work setting. It seems that this area of New England has the attitude of " Pass the sub, please" Considering Master and i do not entertain this thought processs we have been talked about, left out and pretty much are not the people that are invited to the party.

What do others expect in a social group setting? My Master expects me to treat him in a special way, he does not want me to treat ALL in the same way. This has caused us to become quite the " solo" couple. It just amazes me that some people can say they are Dom and just expect the world to bow down to them.
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RE: submissive to one or submissive to ALL? - 11/28/2005 11:44:13 AM   
FangsNfeet


Posts: 3758
Joined: 12/3/2004
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A submissive or slave only has to be in service to there master/s. When at events, just abide by to what rules your Dom has givin you. I have been to many events where submissives are Dungeon Masters as well.

The normal ideal is to show common curtisy to all untill someone pisses you off. That's when you tell your Dom or the DMs present about a problem. After that, your actions to fight or be obfensive back is up to you and no one or hardly any will think ill of you.

If a stranger yells "Hey slut, go get me a drink." Replying "go get it yourself ass hole" may cause that person to be angry but he will have to take that up with your Dom. After all, unless your Dom says different only he alone can punish you.

_____________________________

I'm Godzilla and you're Japan

(in reply to infyniti)
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RE: submissive to one or submissive to ALL? - 11/28/2005 11:49:56 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
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It doesn't matter if your dom asks you to honk like a goose every five minutes to show special deference to him or asks absolutely nothing of you. What matters is that you are in a social group that does not share most of the values that you do.

Given that, it's probably a good thing that you aren't on the invitations list. You can't be the only one out there- find others and make your own get-togethers. I have a partner in Boston who has connections in your area if you would like.

Respect for me is not earned, it is lost. Respect is far more about MYSELF than about how someone else acts.

You already know what is best for you.

(in reply to infyniti)
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RE: submissive to one or submissive to ALL? - 11/28/2005 11:51:18 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


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Joined: 10/25/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: FangsNfeet
If a stranger yells "Hey slut, go get me a drink." Replying "go get it yourself ass hole" may cause that person to be angry but he will have to take that up with your Dom. After all, unless your Dom says different only he alone can punish you.

For me, my owners have always expected me to deal with things as an adult. Running to him for little things like this would be considered wastes of both of our time and an inability for me to function as an adult.

Also, retorting back to someone like that is hardly graceful or the most mannerful way to handle outbursts.

(in reply to FangsNfeet)
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RE: submissive to one or submissive to ALL? - 11/28/2005 1:05:35 PM   
Kinkypupper


Posts: 713
Joined: 9/26/2004
From: Portland oregon
Status: offline
NO

My slave is my slave and submissive to me not to anyone else.

Submission is a gift of great value and has to be earned and definately has to be respected.

The first sign of a "wannabe" is someone who feels that "THEY" just because they are a "Dom" should receave total submission from any and all submissives.


_____________________________

Phil Moulton
A Sensual Touch
Locopony Racing
Portland Oregon

(in reply to infyniti)
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RE: submissive to one or submissive to ALL? - 11/28/2005 1:36:03 PM   
slavejali


Posts: 2918
Status: offline
i treat everyone with respect till they do something that doesnt warrant it, and even then, im not rude to them, nor do i deliberately go out of my way to show my feelings for them, i become, indifferent.

As far as the Sirs and Masters to other people other than my own Master, i see them as titles, a recognition for the role they are playing. An example in a non-bdsm sense: If a policeman pulls me up for speeding, i dont have an issue with me saying "Sir" im recognising his position at that time. If i recognise someone with bdsm who likes to be called Sir or Master, i do it, out of respect for their role and their wishes, out of respect for the roles within bdsm, a part of life that i really treasure. If they want me to call them dipshit, i would do that as well, for all the same reasons. If im in a social circle of friends, who have titles, i dont feel it necessary to enforce my beliefs on them by not going with what is expected of me there, its just about being social, and it takes nothing from me, it doesnt touch my values nor my relationship with my own Master. i know who my Master is, i know who i am, thats all that matters. Everything else is just a form of communication.

< Message edited by slavejali -- 11/28/2005 1:38:19 PM >

(in reply to Kinkypupper)
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RE: submissive to one or submissive to ALL? - 11/28/2005 1:36:56 PM   
Webmaster60


Posts: 396
Joined: 9/10/2005
Status: offline
quote:

Do others expect submissives to be submissive to ALL Dominants?


Oh hell no...BUT.. I expect a slave to behave AS a slave regardless of WHAT the station is of the person she's interacting with.. Whether is a dom, master, or some candy-ass it should NOT change who she is..

Good Manners and respect should always be paramount. Now does that mean I expect her to start taking a load of shit from some ass? no.. not at all. But again. she can still slit your throat in a "slave-like" manner hmm?

_____________________________

Master Michael
~~~~~~~~~~
"To sin in silence when he should
speak makes cowards of men"

(in reply to infyniti)
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RE: submissive to one or submissive to ALL? - 11/28/2005 2:41:51 PM   
ginawithaB


Posts: 141
Joined: 9/2/2005
Status: offline
quote:

Good Manners and respect should always be paramount. Now does that mean I expect her to start taking a load of shit from some ass? no.. not at all. But again. she can still slit your throat in a "slave-like" manner hmm?


Kudos to You, Master Michael. And to OP, I'm really kinda surprised and disgusted that you're excluded b/c you don't agree with others' "slave-for-all" mentality. Then again, I'm still new to all this. Maybe you should relocate to NYC, haven't encountered that issue here, yet.

Of course you know your POV is totally valid? I hope you do.

Be well,

gina

< Message edited by ginawithaB -- 11/28/2005 2:42:18 PM >

(in reply to Webmaster60)
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RE: submissive to one or submissive to ALL? - 11/28/2005 3:14:26 PM   
jamesthehumanrug


Posts: 668
Joined: 10/21/2005
Status: offline
greetings, infinity,
are you a woman ,with every guy you meet, in the same social settings ,as, when you are sub, in similar gatherings?
of course!, so you act female ,with men ,always remembering ;you're fem image....,of course, w/the girls you can, forget youre fem., and, forget guys watching ,and, huck pouey ,in the street(is'nt ,that g.d.feminine....)
your image ,as a known"slave, or sub" is certainly the same THING.
my goddess knows the pressure ,i have ;
to give all the doms, and, tops respect ,
as her equal,
esp,foriegn-visitors;royalty(real ,or bought titles), in show biz ,or art circles, or affluent, and ,educated circles, or important leather persons ,in bussiness,but,
she freaks,! if i kiss their hand; even, if i am a "slave".
kiss no ones' hand ,except hers.....her hand is pure ,other's ,NOT!.

,other little-things,too ,if you wanna' live ,thru christmas ,and ,after
such, as: NO KISSING,ON THE LIPS,(even,if forced,or passively surprized)
OR no TAKING NUMBERS ,EVEN ,IF IT'S, DREW BARRYMORE,...

IF you don't know how ,to treat your dom different, in a room full, of tops,ask, cause,if you act like you dont know your top is SPECIAL
you are, not very' special ',either.
every one has rank ;
everyone respects you, cause you are owned, or, belong,to some known top,or you are a tops' object, or "slave".
you don't expect, to go ,into the kings court ,and, kick ,around the royal dogs ....ok ,for them,not you...
and,
,if you are ostrisized;i'm sure it's, not due ,to you being special service ,to your top ;
couples get ostrisized, when one ,or both can't hang single ,anymore.
it's, not unlike growing ,up, and, leaving your friends, cause you have a family priority ,and,
when couples pair, off ;position is, understood ,
until one is widowed, then
the lone one left ,behind, in grief is sooner, or later left alone, again ;feels ostrisized.
ostrisized, by couples ,and ,so ,on...,but ,
,don't make a fool ,of yourself ,and ,snub any tops, JUST ,cause ;you got yours...boils down ,to;
ARE YOU EVOLVED,OR ,NOT?....
there are ,only: 4 major important - phases ,in the process, of "evolution," that helped us all advance; evolve ,to this civilized date ,
and ,those steps ,in order are:
1.repitition(all early man could do...)
2.ritual(developement of funerals etc)
3.religion/development ,of faith(abstract-thinking ,in the brain)
*4. manners/politeness,(ETICATE:how, to act ,with each ,other ;amoung other cultures;down,to complex-mating behaviors ,etc)
is the last developement ,in evolution.
ETICATE: IS THE LAST STOP ,IN EVOLUTION;
ETICATE IS the development, of "MANNERS"
,because ,without manners;protocol ;ETICATE;
we could, not get along ,NOR ,survive, together,WE WOULD'NT EVEN BE ABLE,TO evolve, as a species!
we would kill each ,other ,OFF,and, strand each, other ,instead,
so.... no manners;
no ETICATE ;
NO POSSIBLE evolution ,
WE WOULD'NT EXSIST, AT ALL,IN THIS ADVANCED STATE ,NOR
to this point,AT ALL.
(WE WOULD ALL STILL BE MONKEYS.),
AND....NO....(no-one EVEN knows the 5th step,IN EVOLUTION,AFTER" ETICATE," unless you want a 'nobel-prize.'),
THAT'S ALL THERE IS.

< Message edited by jamesthehumanrug -- 11/28/2005 3:47:05 PM >


_____________________________

I REMAIN RESPECTFULLY SUBMITTED
,LOVEles,
jamesthehumanrug

(in reply to infyniti)
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RE: submissive to one or submissive to ALL? - 11/28/2005 3:49:40 PM   
HouseofBear


Posts: 1280
Joined: 2/9/2005
Status: offline
Respect in the form of good manners and common courtesy is something that is expected from all in our family, whether they are dominant or submissive. That did not go out the window just because we are part of the lifestyle. A submissive/slave of ours is just that, ours. We expect them to treat others with respect, however we do not expect them to be treated with disrespect either. Ordering them to do something is disrespect to them, as well as to ourselves. Nor would we presume to tell someone else's submissive what to do.

Bear and Ursa

(in reply to jamesthehumanrug)
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RE: submissive to one or submissive to ALL? - 11/28/2005 8:09:37 PM   
Wildfleurs


Posts: 1650
Joined: 9/24/2004
From: Connecticut
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: infyniti

Do others expect submissives to be submissive to ALL Dominants? I have come across my share of people who believe this to be true. " Submissives do not talk to Dominants like that." I do not subscribe to that mentality. Apparently this has caused some people to either label me " Dom" or state that I have no respect for other Doms.
All this seems to far from reality for me. Respect is earned. I have one Dom and do not submit to others nor am i expected to. This causes problem in group settings. Why? Other Doms. do not get " yes Sir" No sir, or master anything in conversation. I am polite and treat everyone as i would someone in a work setting. It seems that this area of New England has the attitude of " Pass the sub, please" Considering Master and i do not entertain this thought processs we have been talked about, left out and pretty much are not the people that are invited to the party.

What do others expect in a social group setting? My Master expects me to treat him in a special way, he does not want me to treat ALL in the same way. This has caused us to become quite the " solo" couple. It just amazes me that some people can say they are Dom and just expect the world to bow down to them.



Thats unfortunate. I know where I am locally (Connecticut) I don't see a lot of that kind of dick thumping expecting submission from everyone (though I have seen it, I just don't see it frequently). I treat and consider everyone other than my owner a peer - nothing more nothing less.

C~

_____________________________

"Just because you've always done it that way doesn't mean it's not incredibly stupid." -despair.com

~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
The heart of it all - http://www.wildfleurs.com
~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

(in reply to infyniti)
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RE: submissive to one or submissive to ALL? - 11/28/2005 8:33:27 PM   
Wolf1020


Posts: 447
Joined: 11/7/2005
From: Anderson, SC
Status: offline
I don't expect sub's to simply fall to their knees.

What I do expect is a decent level of respect and common curtisy. If you treat me like an asshole from the word hello don't expect me to play Mr. Nice Guy and try "earning" your respect, I want to be treated with common curtisy not for you to fall down and kiss my feet. I agree a lot with what LA said when she said respect isn't earned it is lost. When I meet someone they are granted a certian level of respect and common curtisy untill they prove they deserve more or less then what I gave them at first meeting.

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RE: submissive to one or submissive to ALL? - 11/28/2005 8:39:26 PM   
quietkitten


Posts: 1082
Joined: 2/5/2005
From: Alberta, Canada
Status: offline
If I don't know someone I certainly will not act submissively towards them, I will however, be polite. If my Master were to tell me to be submissive to others, I would obey.

_____________________________

The number 1 cause of stress is reality.

I miss my old Avatar :(

<< I am a depressed procrastinator with Alzheimers -- I am going to end it all.... tomorrow... or the next day.

Now what was I talking about again?

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RE: submissive to one or submissive to ALL? - 11/28/2005 9:25:45 PM   
TallDarkAndWitty


Posts: 1893
Joined: 6/12/2004
From: Rochester, NY
Status: offline
Ya know...I think a group of folks where the subs were sub to all could actually be really cool. Of course, it would have to be a select group, and those who were looking for a "the One" type BDSM relationship would have to be excluded...but it could make for a fun party, a neat porn movie, and quite possibly a nasty rash on my dangly bits.


On a completely unrelated topic:
quote:

ORIGINAL: quietkitten
I miss my old Avatar :(


I miss it too...

_____________________________

A most rewarding compliment is an insult from the ill-informed.


My slave: Kat (RainaVerene on the other side) and her website: RainaVerene.com

(in reply to quietkitten)
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RE: submissive to one or submissive to ALL? - 11/28/2005 10:35:10 PM   
LATEXBABY64


Posts: 2107
Joined: 4/8/2004
Status: offline
can anyone tell me is this in the hitch hikers guide i am trying to look up subs and what they do shrugs i know i seen that in the last freaking galaxy i past on wait i am on the monkey man planet. lol any how for the most part treat people with fairness not to say being fair is not always equal i would say that only submit to the one you are collared or with is the most simple and effective answer
:)

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RE: submissive to one or submissive to ALL? - 11/29/2005 12:09:27 AM   
AbstractSavant


Posts: 149
Joined: 6/5/2005
Status: offline
I show respect to all.

I submit to Him.

(in reply to LATEXBABY64)
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RE: submissive to one or submissive to ALL? - 11/29/2005 6:22:10 AM   
candystripper


Posts: 3486
Joined: 11/1/2005
Status: offline
quote:

I don't expect sub's to simply fall to their knees.

What I do expect is a decent level of respect and common curtisy. If you treat me like an asshole from the word hello don't expect me to play Mr. Nice Guy and try "earning" your respect, I want to be treated with common curtisy not for you to fall down and kiss my feet. I agree a lot with what LA said when she said respect isn't earned it is lost. When I meet someone they are granted a certian level of respect and common curtisy untill they prove they deserve more or less then what I gave them at first meeting.

Wolf1020


Every human being is entitled to be treated with respect, unless by their own acts, they set themselves outside the pale -- pedophiles, abusive men, murderers, etc.

This basic RIGHT to be respected leads to the axiomatic conclusion that we are each entitled to be treated with courtesy. As has been pointed out, what is considered courteous may vary from one subculture (deep South) to another (NYC) but it's not that hard to master and when in doubt, use a higher form of courtesy.

This means speaking with respect to people of different ages (i include children) and different orientations, just as it does using courtesy while driving, shopping, at the movies, and so forth.

People whose manners fall below the courteous level -- apart from the gaffs we all make -- are like ugly wallpaper. Sure, You can live with it, but why would You want to?

candystripper

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RE: submissive to one or submissive to ALL? - 11/29/2005 6:26:34 AM   
candystripper


Posts: 3486
Joined: 11/1/2005
Status: offline
quote:

Ya know...I think a group of folks where the subs were sub to all could actually be really cool. Of course, it would have to be a select group, and those who were looking for a "the One" type BDSM relationship would have to be excluded...but it could make for a fun party, a neat porn movie, and quite possibly a nasty rash on my dangly bits.

TallDarkAndWitty/Taggart


Nice to see You again Sir. This actually went on in the '70's; it was called "swinging'. Never held any appeal for me...and now with the proliferation of incurable std's seems no more than a fantasy.

candystripper

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RE: submissive to one or submissive to ALL? - 11/29/2005 6:32:19 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: TallDarkAndWitty

Ya know...I think a group of folks where the subs were sub to all could actually be really cool. Of course, it would have to be a select group, and those who were looking for a "the One" type BDSM relationship would have to be excluded...but it could make for a fun party, a neat porn movie, and quite possibly a nasty rash on my dangly bits.

LOL I agree. I've got tons of fantasies involving being in a stable of slaves, taken out to be used or of service as a nameless face to anyone who wanted me.

But that's a specific situation, not a standard social mish-mash.

(in reply to TallDarkAndWitty)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: submissive to one or submissive to ALL? - 11/29/2005 7:30:18 AM   
JohnWarren


Posts: 3807
Joined: 3/18/2005
From: Delray Beach, FL
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: candystripper

quote:

Ya know...I think a group of folks where the subs were sub to all could actually be really cool. Of course, it would have to be a select group, and those who were looking for a "the One" type BDSM relationship would have to be excluded...but it could make for a fun party, a neat porn movie, and quite possibly a nasty rash on my dangly bits.

TallDarkAndWitty/Taggart


Nice to see You again Sir. This actually went on in the '70's; it was called "swinging'. Never held any appeal for me...and now with the proliferation of incurable std's seems no more than a fantasy.

candystripper[/font][/size][/color]


Forties, Fifties and Sixties. In many of the groups we call the Old Guard, newbies were expected to be sexually available to everyone with more seniority than they. This is one of the main reasons these groups no longer exist.


_____________________________

www.lovingdominant.org

(in reply to candystripper)
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