RE: A consensus of opinion on heavy play?

RE: A consensus of opinion on heavy play? (Full Version)

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Juliannadelion -> RE: A consensus of opinion on heavy play? (9/9/2008 6:46:15 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: catize ~grins~ okay I am a ‘heavy bottom’ but that’s because of my size! Seriously, tho, I think each person has to define it. If it is more than I can take, it would be heavy in my estimation, where someone else might think it’s light and fluffy. My Lord says the better the canvas to paint his masterpiece upon! [sm=cute.gif] I am like an apple with a razor in it - sweet until you bite into me. [sm=evil.gif] To please and be pleasing to Him, always, in all ways. [:D]

Juliannadelion -> RE: A consensus of opinion on heavy play? (9/9/2008 6:51:14 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Lynnxz quote: ORIGINAL: Juliannadelion Hello Miss! Hmmm. Good question actually. My Lord and I have been discussing creating a laminated card or id bracelet for me in case I am ever in a car accident or some type of emergency where I may be unconcious and injured. The reason is, that, I am continuously covered in bruises, cuts, lashes, bite marks and any number of things that would make a sane person think that I was being abused. Can you imagine being a nurse in the emergency room and removing the clothing of a person and seeing them covered in marks? I do not wish to come to, having the cops and the domestic abuse people there asking questions!! You'd be surprised at how accepting nurses are in the ER. As long as you don't have a barbie stuck up your ass, they generally will leave you alone once you explain. Edited to add: I've not had the barbie up the ass problem- I swear. LMAO! Well, honestly, barbie should be stuck up someones ass - teach that uppity bitch a lesson! My sister was an emergency room nurse. She used to tell me all sorts of stories, that unless I am unconcious - you are not getting me into an emergency room! She also freaked a little when she discovered my 'hobby' - until I assured her that I beg for everthing I get and then some. That the only reason there are not more, is that I have yet to earn them. [:)] It is all a matter of persective. The only thing I know for sure, is that most vanilla people would not understand my love and passion for the gifts of my Lords love and devotion to me. Safe, Sane and Consensual - is how we always play, even if it doesn't look like it from my lovely purple roses all over my body. [;)] I am like an apple with a razor in it - sweet until you bite into me. [sm=evil.gif] To please and be pleasing to Him, always, in all ways. [:D]

Cyis75 -> RE: A consensus of opinion on heavy play? (9/9/2008 7:13:31 PM)
I think like with most any BDSM play it's going to be very subjective to the individuals involved. I know that back when I was in the San Francisco area I wouldn't consider our play style tame but kinda middle of the field in comparison; however, since moving back to Atlanta we've been surprised by comments of how extreme and hard our play is. We even had our scene at the Frolicon dungeon party interrupted no less than 3 times, the last time as we were actually ending it, by the DM asking if she was alright. Later had several people comment that the DM probably thought it was really hard play. At another venue/event we actually had several on lookers and one of our friends was watching us and the onlookers and later commented to us about one submissive that grabbed hold of her dom and snuggled in tighter and asked him "Is that consentual" while watching us play. Apparently our friend's response was something to the effect that she's not calling her safeword. I think in any different community, group or relationship you'll get a different answer as to what would be considered heavy play. Just like you would get different answers to just about any definition. It's more about how you define yourself and your play with those you're involved with that really matters in my opinion.

catize -> RE: A consensus of opinion on heavy play? (9/9/2008 7:43:25 PM)
quote: My Lord says the better the canvas to paint his masterpiece upon! [sm=cute.gif] I am fortunate that both R. and S. see it much the same way!

alandraofMists -> RE: A consensus of opinion on heavy play? (9/9/2008 8:11:24 PM)
What one person calls heavy play... may just be sensation play for the other. At the last play party that we attended, I had a great play with canes... one of my favorite toys. The play left me with welts the were open and bleeding and some lasted three weeks before fading. I did not consider this a heavy play for myself but a very intese sensation play. For me a heavy scene would involve cutting, clothes pins or other things that I have a hard time handling and or processing. I have a hard time processing more then a few clothes pins...and detest the feel of anything scraping or cutting my skin. But give either of those experiences to Kyra and she is sensory heaven like I am with canes or chains. It all comes down to what ones own perception of the play is... give me a Top that thinks that cutting is heavy play and I will never be seen as a heavy bottom. but if another top that plays me sees canes as a heavy play... man then am I ever a heavy bottom. The times that people have approached me and said that they liked watching the heavy play that i did.... most times i would say i was surprised by their perceiption as i didd not think I played that heavily. Knight's alandra

TNstepsout -> RE: A consensus of opinion on heavy play? (9/9/2008 8:17:05 PM)
You're quite right about that. One person's "heavy" could be another person's "mild". I was at a play party at a local dungeon and there was a pretty intense scene going on between a Master and slave. A local Domme who had many many years of experience, and even led a local group was so upset by the scene that she reported it to the DM. The DM informed her that the slave loved every bit of it, that they always played that way. From what I saw, it did appear intense, with a lot of rough play and noisy impact play, but did not seem extreme to me at all. I was surprised by her reaction. It would be pretty risky to assume that one's "heavy bottom hankie" meant the same thing to everyone.

OneMoreWaste -> RE: A consensus of opinion on heavy play? (9/9/2008 8:30:08 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Juliannadelion Hmmm. Good question actually. My Lord and I have been discussing creating a laminated card or id bracelet for me in case I am ever in a car accident or some type of emergency where I may be unconcious and injured. For some reason I thought the next sentence was going to be: quote: The bracelet will read "I am a masochist. If you have found me severely injured, please leave me alone for a little while to enjoy it" [8D] I always wondered how the hanky thing worked- do people end up walking around with a whole flogger worth of hankies, or do they just wear the their favorite, or the one earned most recently?

Juliannadelion -> RE: A consensus of opinion on heavy play? (9/9/2008 9:13:06 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: OneMoreWaste quote: ORIGINAL: Juliannadelion Hmmm. Good question actually. My Lord and I have been discussing creating a laminated card or id bracelet for me in case I am ever in a car accident or some type of emergency where I may be unconcious and injured. For some reason I thought the next sentence was going to be: quote: The bracelet will read "I am a masochist. If you have found me severely injured, please leave me alone for a little while to enjoy it" [8D] I always wondered how the hanky thing worked- do people end up walking around with a whole flogger worth of hankies, or do they just wear the their favorite, or the one earned most recently? LMAO!!!!! Well, see, there goes another thing. Just because I am maso, does not mean all pain is pleasure!!!!!!!!! lol, when I stub my toe I am not in estatic throes of orgasm, I assure you. [;)] But, the ID bracelet ideal is pretty flippin HIGHlarious! thanks for the laugh! I am like an apple with a razor in it - sweet until you bite into me. [sm=evil.gif] To please and be pleasing to Him, always, in all ways. [:D]

OneMoreWaste -> RE: A consensus of opinion on heavy play? (9/9/2008 10:46:56 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Juliannadelion LMAO!!!!! Well, see, there goes another thing. Just because I am maso, does not mean all pain is pleasure!!!!!!!!! lol, when I stub my toe I am not in estatic throes of orgasm, I assure you. [;)] That's a shame... seems like that would really come in handy!

Juliannadelion -> RE: A consensus of opinion on heavy play? (9/10/2008 2:27:54 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: OneMoreWaste quote: ORIGINAL: Juliannadelion LMAO!!!!! Well, see, there goes another thing. Just because I am maso, does not mean all pain is pleasure!!!!!!!!! lol, when I stub my toe I am not in estatic throes of orgasm, I assure you. [;)] That's a shame... seems like that would really come in handy! yeah, except, then everyone would be in wheelchairs from having broken all their toes! the world would come to a grinding halt and capitalism as we know it would crumble and fall. So, we must suffer the consequences of unpleasant pain. [;)] I am like an apple with a razor in it - sweet until you bite into me. [sm=evil.gif] To please and be pleasing to Him, always, in all ways. [:D]

Sunnyfey -> RE: A consensus of opinion on heavy play? (9/10/2008 2:48:34 AM)
Earning your black hankey is generally a Leather tradition and it comes like any Earned peice of leather or what not, its the person who gives it to you who makes the choice on if you are a heavy player or not. Generally this type of session is done as a "no safeword" or "say (insert trigger word here) and then i go untill i want to stop...no safewords" very RACK. Not to say the Dom in this sort of session wont stop when he sees the sub might be pushed just that too far you know. but....thats the idea of it anyway as always YMMV

JohnWarren -> RE: A consensus of opinion on heavy play? (9/10/2008 3:09:59 AM)
In his book, Markings, Dag Hammarskjöld wrote something like ""Don't think about how tall a mountain is; wait until you climb it and you'll see all the taller mountains." "Heavy scene" is like so much else in the Scene, a neat phrase signifying little. I used to think I did heavy scenes then I met Fakir Mustafa and shut up. Word are useful as labels but we have to know their limits. If someone says "I like heavy scenes" I'll nod and smile. If she says, "I want to do a heavy scene with you." I say, "Sit down, this may be a long talk."

missturbation -> RE: A consensus of opinion on heavy play? (9/10/2008 3:52:52 AM)
quote: I believe that I enjoy more stimulation than most, but, I do not see it as anything out of the ordinary. I too see the levels i play at as ordinary. I think it's normal to play the way i do, well just because it's normal to me. I think thats why im always confused by anyone who says i play heavy. Heavy for me would be some of my darker fantasies such as *** play, crucifiction, skin removal, my stab and fuck the wound death scene. But as you yourself said some would consider those light and fluffy. quote:* I think in any different community, group or relationship you'll get a different answer as to what would be considered heavy play. Just like you would get different answers to just about any definition. It's more about how you define yourself and your play with those you're involved with that really matters in my opinion. I pretty much agree but it doesn't stop me from trying to find an answer. I'm curious like that [:D] quote: The times that people have approached me and said that they liked watching the heavy play that i did.... most times i would say i was surprised by their perceiption as i didd not think I played that heavily. Nods, i know what you mean. Gr8 to see you posting alandra. [:D] quote: It would be pretty risky to assume that one's "heavy bottom hankie" meant the same thing to everyone. Yep which is why i tend to think why bother with them at all. quote: The bracelet will read "I am a masochist. If you have found me severely injured, please leave me alone for a little while to enjoy it" Ooooooo can i have one of those? Someone should start making them. quote: Word are useful as labels but we have to know their limits. I never had as much debate over definitions of words until i came to cm. quote: If she says, "I want to do a heavy scene with you." I say, "Sit down, this may be a long talk." Exactly as it should be. But i'm betting there are some out there that would hear those words / see the black hanky assume they play heavy by their standards and well you know what happens or is likely to happen next. Softness is entirely responsible for two out of my threee heavy scenes, nods, yup yup yup she is. I blame her [:D] [mod edit ]*

HalloweenWhite -> RE: A consensus of opinion on heavy play? (9/10/2008 4:50:13 AM)
I don't think there is a consensensus on who is or isn't a heavy player, other than those based on the previous experiences of the people in the relationship, and then, I'd say being regarded as a heavy player could be as much to do with playing heavy relative to other play partners as the (somewhat) generic statement "I like it heavy". Thats one good thing about limits and finding out what they are; if someone says "I like it heavy" how heavy? are W/we talking baseball bat in the face heavy, 5 to 10 swats on the ass, or until spots of blood appear?. Ask a question on C.m and Y/you'll get plenty of answers, most contradicting each other, but the answer is right as far as the O/one giving it is concerned. There is no consensus.

aperversetwist -> RE: A consensus of opinion on heavy play? (9/10/2008 9:20:50 AM)
I agree with what some others have said, what's heavy to one person is not to another. It's always going to be a very individual thing. Having played with different people over the years I think the distinction of heavy play has little or nothing to do with the top, and everything to do with the bottom. Something simple and every day for one bottom, can cause another to curl up in a ball in tears, making it heavy play for that person.

SailingBum -> RE: A consensus of opinion on heavy play? (9/10/2008 1:08:02 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: persephonee quote: ORIGINAL: crouchingtigress giggles...well i do know some great stories of earned hankies...but honestly we all have great stories...and we have all earned our colors in some way at some point, with or with out actual flags to wave. :) i hope mine is a purple one with a slightly green undertone. I am trying to determine if all the hankies belong either to a gang or a cult WTF over. Can we get any more childish??? BadOne

Prinsexx -> RE: A consensus of opinion on heavy play? (9/10/2008 2:48:33 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Lynnxz You'd be surprised at how accepting nurses are in the ER. As long as you don't have a barbie stuck up your ass, they generally will leave you alone once you explain. i recently went for an ECG check and had a star shape made from bright yellow bruises with blue centres where the needle had been through my left breast. The cardiologist never raised an eyebrow. Mind you my heart beat was perfect. maybe there would have been questions had i registered as having an abnormal rhythm. And since this is about heavy 'play'....i think it's a oxymoron.

kiwisub12 -> RE: A consensus of opinion on heavy play? (9/10/2008 3:47:37 PM)
Being very new to bdsm, I watched my Sir scene a friend with paddles, canes and floggers. At the end, i was quiet for a while and finally asked my Sir if he was harder on her than me. He was a bit shocked - he told me that he was no harder on her than he was on me. My perception was that he was easier on me than on her - and i think now that he wasn't - but its a whole lot different being the scenee than a observer. I actually think its easier to be scened upon than watch a really intense scene. With that in mind, i think it would be damn near impossible to quanitify "hard play". and for me a caning that gives me whelts and bruises puts me into heaven. The violet (violent) wand , on the other hand, has me crawling over the cross!

Prinsexx -> RE: A consensus of opinion on heavy play? (9/10/2008 4:36:06 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: aperversetwist I agree with what some others have said, what's heavy to one person is not to another. It's always going to be a very individual thing. Having played with different people over the years I think the distinction of heavy play has little or nothing to do with the top, and everything to do with the bottom. Something simple and every day for one bottom, can cause another to curl up in a ball in tears, making it heavy play for that person. And likewise something that is simple and everyday on one day can have me unintentionally and reactively pushing Him away and curling up the next say. i have absolutely no consistency in the way i respond to physical pain.

Prinsexx -> RE: A consensus of opinion on heavy play? (9/10/2008 4:41:05 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SailingBum quote: ORIGINAL: persephonee quote: ORIGINAL: crouchingtigress giggles...well i do know some great stories of earned hankies...but honestly we all have great stories...and we have all earned our colors in some way at some point, with or with out actual flags to wave. :) i hope mine is a purple one with a slightly green undertone. I am trying to determine if all the hankies belong either to a gang or a cult WTF over. Can we get any more childish??? BadOne can we get any more childish?? Oh yes oh yes: a white handkerchief knotted at each corner and worn on the head....like we do hear in England to keep the sun off our heads....having to wear one like THAT would be the ultimate in humiliation....a very very very seriously heavy scene indeed...[:D]

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