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Sexually Ignorant - 9/9/2008 10:32:57 PM

friendsonlyFL

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Have you ever been with a partner that totally over exaggerates their sexual skills? Then to find out they are actually horrible and stiil talk about how great they are. How do you redirect someone with an overblown ego???

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RE: Sexually Ignorant - 9/9/2008 11:39:10 PM

Hime

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Stop him (or her) in their tracks and say, "Hold on Honey....Let me teach you how to do that right."

That'll deflate that Ego of his (or hers) a bit! *lol*

~xoxo

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RE: Sexually Ignorant - 9/9/2008 11:39:37 PM

skeletoncrew

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i have certainly ran into this, primarily women that think they are EXPERTS in giving oral, but are usually only so-so to midlin'...but, i'm sure such a thing could happen from every conceivable direction under the sun...

in vanilla situations i have always just tried to be patient and teach them what i like and different "tricks" and "combos" i have found to be effective for me, etc, etc, etc...but, if this is a D/s or M/s type situation that might not work so well for the bottom/sub/slave...also, i have found "good" sex or sexual technique tends to be pretty subjective to each individual person, one person's GREAT is another eh...so, that might have something to do with the ego/skill disparity you are experiencing...

as far as how to "correct" such a thing without just walking away maybe provide some specific information in the forms of threads, books, articles, websites, etc, etc making sure to zero in on the fact that you like the descriptions or how technical it is or whatever to draw as much attention to the information you want to impart and do you best to "sell" it as important to you or potentially interesting to them so they might pay SOME attention to it...

otherwise all's i can think of is as much communication as possible(focusing on what you like/want/need rather then their shortcomings) and patience(it is a virtue i hear)...

good luck!!!

< Message edited by skeletoncrew -- 9/9/2008 11:42:32 PM >

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RE: Sexually Ignorant - 9/9/2008 11:52:21 PM

avinyl

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It may not be that someone's "horrible" as much as it is them having a different style or preference than you're used to, or even just happen to be in the mood for at that moment. I thought I was pretty good at some things (though I was never so obnoxious as to say I was fantastic), but my current dom has trained me to do them differently...because that's how *he* likes it. He never said what I was doing was bad, just that he wanted it differently.

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RE: Sexually Ignorant - 9/9/2008 11:59:54 PM

RCdc

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quote:

ORIGINAL: friendsonlyFL

Have you ever been with a partner that totally over exaggerates their sexual skills?

No.

quote:

Then to find out they are actually horrible and stiil talk about how great they are. How do you redirect someone with an overblown ego???

If someone was horrible(nasty/mean), I would not stay with them. However I am going to assume that by horrible you mean terrible skills in which case you tell them, not direct them. It's not rocket science.

the.dark.

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RE: Sexually Ignorant - 9/10/2008 5:26:42 AM

BiteGirl

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If they harp on about how good they are, it's a good way of telling wheather they are or not... men (and women) who are good in bed don't brag about it, they're too busy getting laid.
If I was in that situation, I'd point out that there are things that I like how this is how to do them, also, no-one's that good buddy. ;)

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RE: Sexually Ignorant - 9/10/2008 5:49:56 AM

DesFIP

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What doesn't work for you may have been superb for his last partner.
As far as what to do? Try an honest conversation wherein you tell him what does work for you. Since he isn't a mind reader, and can't know if you like it fast and rough instead of slow and gentle.

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RE: Sexually Ignorant - 9/10/2008 7:29:08 AM

candystripper

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O yes.

I spent six months speaking daily by phone with a man who kept telling me all the wondorous things we'd do, if we were together.

Well, finally we met...and he was impotent. There was no way we were going to do any of it.

I felt -- still feel -- I had been lied to and that investing in a man by phone is like pissing in the wind.

candysripper

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RE: Sexually Ignorant - 9/10/2008 9:23:14 AM

Dnomyar

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BiteGirl. If Im to busy getting laid the I don't have time to brag about it. FYI I am that good. Candystripper make sure that you piss with the wind not into it. Good answer Celeste.

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RE: Sexually Ignorant - 9/10/2008 11:49:00 AM

FRSguy

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Yup, use to get that from woman all the time especially the model types. When I was in my 20's I did ... well allmost anything with a pussy that would say yes...lol. Anyways, it was pretty common for me to run into woman that would tell me how great they were especially when it came to giving head. Lots of them turned out to be horible. I have had several woman that could have easily graced the pages of mens magazines back then and they all had one thing in common... every one of them seemd to feel that being great at sex meant laying on your back ... and that was it. I mean .... thats pretty much all they did...LOL. I have even walked out on woman before I was or them wree finished.
What did I do about it? Dumped all of them....lol. Didnt even try to improve anything just got rid of them.
Want to make a pretty model type girl cry her eyes out? Go limp in the middle of the blow job after she has spent an hour telling you how great she was. Some people are just holes.

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RE: Sexually Ignorant - 9/10/2008 11:57:04 AM

Venatrix

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quote:

ORIGINAL: FRSguy

every one of them seemd to feel that being great at sex meant laying on your back ... and that was it.

We have to do more than that? That doesn't seem right.

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RE: Sexually Ignorant - 9/10/2008 11:58:16 AM

RealSub58

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quote:

ORIGINAL: candystripper

O yes.

I spent six months speaking daily by phone with a man who kept telling me all the wondorous things we'd do, if we were together.

Well, finally we met...and he was impotent. There was no way we were going to do any of it.

I felt -- still feel -- I had been lied to and that investing in a man by phone is like pissing in the wind.

candysripper

Tis why you posted on ED !!
Besides venting at us, did you say this to him?

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RE: Sexually Ignorant - 9/10/2008 12:02:29 PM

LadyLegs

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When men say they never get complaints, I ask them if their partners were gagged

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RE: Sexually Ignorant - 9/10/2008 12:04:20 PM

RealSub58

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quote:

ORIGINAL: friendsonlyFL

Have you ever been with a partner that totally over exaggerates their sexual skills? Then to find out they are actually horrible and stiil talk about how great they are. How do you redirect someone with an overblown ego???

as far as I can see, you have options, I like this one the best

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RE: Sexually Ignorant - 9/10/2008 12:09:47 PM

sirsholly

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i really believe sex is a learning process for both partners. So he claimed to be awesome and you found him lacking. He might have had the same complaint with you. Like everything worthwhole in a relationship, it is going to take work.

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RE: Sexually Ignorant - 9/10/2008 12:19:57 PM

VirginPotty

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Maybe HE was disappointed & couldn't get it up?
Can't be ALL his fault.

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RE: Sexually Ignorant - 9/10/2008 12:21:43 PM

sirsholly

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Venatrix

quote:

ORIGINAL: FRSguy

every one of them seemd to feel that being great at sex meant laying on your back ... and that was it.

We have to do more than that? That doesn't seem right.

of course you have to more...personally, i find it a good time to file my nails.

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RE: Sexually Ignorant - 9/10/2008 12:31:56 PM

hopelessfool

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There are that Ive found in my reading yes reading... around 137 ways to give a blow job.

If she knows how to give 80 to 120 of these ways, Shes great in my opinion, just because you are in one of the one ways that she doesnt know doesnt make her any less great, just makes you a new learning experience.

Every man, every penis likes it differently, you have to factor in the following : Mood, lenght, width, circumsizion status, how often they get head, if theyve ever been bitten, how often past partners used their teeth, sensitivity in general, what kind of underwear they wear if they wear any, what kind of clothing, what material of clothing, how often they masturbate.

Once you have all this information, you simply smile and say Sir/daddy/master, how do you best like getting head? And this will tell you which of the ways to give head.

if you have any questions about factors just asks .. ^_^;;

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RE: Sexually Ignorant - 9/10/2008 12:46:22 PM

daddysliloneds

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quote:

ORIGINAL: candystripper

O yes.

I spent six months speaking daily by phone with a man who kept telling me all the wondorous things we'd do, if we were together.

Well, finally we met...and he was impotent. There was no way we were going to do any of it.

I felt -- still feel -- I had been lied to and that investing in a man by phone is like pissing in the wind.

candysripper

i don't see what being impotent has shit to do with not doing all those wonderous things together. there are dildo's, strap on's, hands, fists, baseball bats and other such things that he could fuck you with; and if fucking is the only thing you had to look forward to with him, then you lead a pretty boring life as far as i'm concerned.

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RE: Sexually Ignorant - 9/10/2008 12:50:24 PM

sirsholly

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quote:

ORIGINAL: daddysliloneds

quote:

ORIGINAL: candystripper

O yes.

I spent six months speaking daily by phone with a man who kept telling me all the wondorous things we'd do, if we were together.

Well, finally we met...and he was impotent. There was no way we were going to do any of it.

I felt -- still feel -- I had been lied to and that investing in a man by phone is like pissing in the wind.

candysripper

i don't see what being impotent has shit to do with not doing all those wonderous things together.

i was also thinking along the lines that when two meet after so many months of phone conversation there is a bit of nervousness that certainly could have been one of the reasons. There could have been other reasons as well....

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