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disobedience...... - 9/10/2008 7:32:05 AM   
smittyforyou


Posts: 4
Joined: 6/19/2008
Status: offline 		If your sub (who is new to the lifestyle) didn't do what you asked, what would you do?
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RE: disobedience...... - 9/10/2008 7:58:23 AM   
Pyrrsefanie


Posts: 1222
Joined: 9/18/2007
From: NEW HAMPSHAAAAAAH!
Status: offline 		Throw him off of a cliff to die of exposure, and work on getting another one.

...Oh wait, that's Sparta.


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RE: disobedience...... - 9/10/2008 8:10:11 AM   
chamberqueen


Posts: 1597
Joined: 10/25/2007
From: Kalamazoo, MI
Status: offline 		It's a pretty generic question.  It would depend upon how difficult the task was that was given, whether they had a valid explanation, etc.  Depending upon their potential you could choose a punishment or simply release them.  There aren't enough facts given in your post for anyone to give you any real help.


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RE: disobedience...... - 9/10/2008 8:45:59 AM   
Dnomyar


Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		Tell your mistress that you are not worthy of her then give her $200. She may forgive your indescretion. If she dose'nt send me the $200 and I will.

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RE: disobedience...... - 9/10/2008 9:24:39 AM   
chamberqueen


Posts: 1597
Joined: 10/25/2007
From: Kalamazoo, MI
Status: offline 		You are always good for a laugh!  (My apologies for sidetracking the thread.)

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RE: disobedience...... - 9/10/2008 9:31:58 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		That's a pretty broad question.  I can't see how the amount of time a person has serving as a submissive has much to do with it.  Subs with experience disobey, too. 

Is there any way you can be a bit more specific so the question can be addressed properly?


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RE: disobedience...... - 9/10/2008 10:04:52 AM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: smittyforyou

If your sub (who is new to the lifestyle) didn't do what you asked, what would you do?


This situation wouldn't happen to me because before they would become "my sub" they would go through formal training. if someone has an obedience problem, they don't go beyond just training and are unlikely to even finishing the formal training period.

To respond more philosophically...

If we have agreed that when I give an order, the sub obeys, then obedience ends the Ds dynamics. It is really that simple because unless we both maintain it, the dynamic does not and cannot exist. At that point I'm not his dom who needs to punish him but someone he needs to talk to if he wants to get a Ds relationship back with me. If this happens more than once for the same order/issue, there's my door, don't let the door hit your ass on the way out.

< Message edited by thetammyjo -- 9/10/2008 10:07:13 AM >

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RE: disobedience...... - 9/10/2008 10:44:16 AM   
thishereboi


Posts: 14463
Joined: 6/19/2008
Status: offline 		I would talk to them and find out why.

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RE: disobedience...... - 9/10/2008 11:32:17 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		Ask why. Did you demand something that you did not discuss? Are you pushing too far and too fast, not having earned the trust required to do so? Do they have the skills, the ability and time to do what you asked?

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RE: disobedience...... - 9/10/2008 12:31:41 PM   
ShiftedJewel


Posts: 2492
Joined: 12/2/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: smittyforyou

If your sub (who is new to the lifestyle) didn't do what you asked, what would you do?


I'd probably wonder why they didn't and hopefully they would have a good reason.
 
Jewel

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RE: disobedience...... - 9/10/2008 12:36:45 PM   
BKSir


Posts: 4037
Joined: 4/8/2008
From: Salt Lake City, UT
Status: offline 		It could be a lot of things really.  An inherrant obedience problem (I hope not, that's such a pain), could have simply forgotten (that can be worked on), and with being new he/she could just be testing his/her limitations and your boundaries.

If it's a first offense, let him/her know that you are disappointed, figure out why it wasn't done, and if necessary, a suitable punishment, and let him/her know that such behaviors will not be tolerated in the future.


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RE: disobedience...... - 9/10/2008 2:14:07 PM   
Icarys


Posts: 5757
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: smittyforyou

If your sub (who is new to the lifestyle) didn't do what you asked, what would you do?

Strap them to bungee cords by their nips and toss them off the golden gate. Counting how many times they yelled at each full stretch and if they yelled less than the total amount of downward bounces..I would forgive them.

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RE: disobedience...... - 9/10/2008 4:33:52 PM   
Service2Goddess


Posts: 1
Joined: 11/5/2007
Status: offline 		I agree...


< Message edited by Service2Goddess -- 9/10/2008 4:34:39 PM >

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RE: disobedience...... - 9/10/2008 4:44:30 PM   
smittyforyou


Posts: 4
Joined: 6/19/2008
Status: offline 		A friend of mine told me a Mistress she was talking to about serving, asked for the password to her profile, and even though she wants to be with the Mistress, she doesn't want to give it.  What should i tell her?  i know this would cause concern to the Mistress, but what can i tell her to do? 

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RE: disobedience...... - 9/10/2008 5:06:42 PM   
chamberqueen


Posts: 1597
Joined: 10/25/2007
From: Kalamazoo, MI
Status: offline 		It depends on how deep their relationship is.  If they are not Mistress and sub yet, your friend has every right to say that they haven't built that level of trust yet (if they really don't want to share it).  If there relationship is already established the sub can still call it a hard limit.  Personally, I don't have anything to hide so it wouldn't bother me to turn over my password.  In fact, I offered to do it once.

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RE: disobedience...... - 9/10/2008 7:54:22 PM   
TNstepsout


Posts: 1558
Joined: 8/3/2005
Status: offline 		What Chamberqueen said. This is a situation that kind of depends on the status of the relationship at the time the request was made. From your statement it sounds like they are in the discussion phase. If that's the case I would tell your friend that she is under no obligation to give her the password.  The Mistress might try to manipulate her into doing it, by telling her that if she doesn't she isn't a "true sub" or some such nonsense, but if she's honorable, she will respect that boundary until greater trust is established.  If she really doesn't feel comfortable in giving her the password, she should trust her instincts. There may not be anything to hide, but her account could get hijacked and used for other purposes your friend might want nothing to do with. 

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RE: disobedience...... - 9/10/2008 8:00:17 PM   
marieToo


Posts: 3595
Joined: 5/21/2006
From: Jersey
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: smittyforyou

A friend of mine told me a Mistress she was talking to about serving, asked for the password to her profile, and even though she wants to be with the Mistress, she doesn't want to give it.  What should i tell her?  i know this would cause concern to the Mistress, but what can i tell her to do? 


I don't think it matters how much a person wants to be with another, if the Mistress bumped up against a boundary, and she is as dedicated as the sub to making  it work, she'll either work through it with the sub or walk away because the sub didn't/couldn't comply.  If she walks, it's as much a test of her dedication to the potential relationship as it was for the sub.

< Message edited by marieToo -- 9/10/2008 8:01:20 PM >

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RE: disobedience...... - 9/10/2008 8:19:09 PM   
BKSir


Posts: 4037
Joined: 4/8/2008
From: Salt Lake City, UT
Status: offline 		sub does not equal slave.  Nor is your friend currently serving this person.  I would say, hell no.  If I asked my pet for his passwords, he would give them to me, but I don't, because a: I trust him, and b: I don't care to have them.  He also has every right to say, "I'd rather not."  But, if it were my slave and I said, give me your passwords, well, not much choice given there.

As it stands, I'm fully in agreement with your friend, and that dom/me/whatever, can just deal with it.



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We'll begin with a spin, traveling in a world of my creation. What we'll see will defy explanation.

I am the voices in your head.

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RE: disobedience...... - 9/11/2008 12:45:42 AM   
pinnipedster


Posts: 217
Joined: 4/17/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: smittyforyou

A friend of mine told me a Mistress she was talking to about serving, asked for the password to her profile, and even though she wants to be with the Mistress, she doesn't want to give it.  What should i tell her?  i know this would cause concern to the Mistress, but what can i tell her to do? 


If I were the sub, that would be a warning sign for me.  I would be very suspicious about the Dominant's motivation and aims.

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RE: disobedience...... - 9/11/2008 4:13:31 AM   
MsCfromMelbourne


Posts: 777
Joined: 2/15/2007
Status: offline 		If they had met in person and your friend really, really liked the Mistress, she would be falling over herself to give the lady her password.....and any other access she wants

I have access to my sub's email and MSN.  Don't all owners?  Do I bother reading it?  Hell, no.  But the power to take his privacy any time I like is part of our power exchange

The fact that your friend is hesitating says it all.  





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