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RE: Strangest initial relationship demand you received - 9/14/2008 9:31:45 AM   
kittengirl8


Posts: 120
Joined: 11/11/2007
Status: offline 		Fearghus, I think I've gotten one of those.

I think my response was "Oh my god! You should really go find those. Might bring back your masculinity." Or something to that effect.

(in reply to fearghus)
Profile   Post #: 121
RE: Strangest initial relationship demand you received - 9/14/2008 9:42:07 AM   
Racquelle


Posts: 600
Joined: 4/21/2008
Status: offline 		I had several e-mails from the UK gent who wanted to come here so I could perform some kind of "embalming" ritual, put him in a casket, and bury him in my yard.  I refused on the basis of having no yard.

(in reply to fearghus)
Profile   Post #: 122
RE: Strangest initial relationship demand you received - 9/14/2008 10:09:04 AM   
zakkan


Posts: 606
Joined: 4/15/2008
Status: offline 		You know, we should post a thread named "Strangest initial relationship demand you replied". Some of the replies here are way funnier.

< Message edited by zakkan -- 9/14/2008 10:51:26 AM >

_____________________________

Silence! I keel you!

(in reply to Racquelle)
Profile   Post #: 123
RE: Strangest initial relationship demand you received - 9/14/2008 10:42:37 AM   
Deliena


Posts: 623
Joined: 6/16/2007
From: Darlington, United Kingdom
Status: offline 		I had the guy with the eggs up the cunt contact me a while ago, but no recent wierd ones, just the usual stuff of clearly not reading my profile.

I'm not sure if I'm happy I don't have to put up with loads of nutters in my inbox or whether I'm disappointed no-one wants to eat/breed from/kill me..... <wanders off confused>

(in reply to zakkan)
Profile   Post #: 124
RE: Strangest initial relationship demand you received - 9/14/2008 11:48:52 AM   
littlesarbonn


Posts: 1710
Joined: 12/3/2005
From: Stockton, California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Racquelle

I had several e-mails from the UK gent who wanted to come here so I could perform some kind of "embalming" ritual, put him in a casket, and bury him in my yard.  I refused on the basis of having no yard.


So, if I supplied the yard?....


_____________________________

<---- FYI, this picture looks JUST like me


http://www.littlesarbonn.com/Stickman/Stickman.htm
The Adventures of Stickman and the Unemployed Lego Spaceman

(in reply to Racquelle)
Profile   Post #: 125
RE: Strangest initial relationship demand you received - 9/14/2008 1:00:34 PM   
kiwisub12


Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: littlesarbonn

quote:

ORIGINAL: Racquelle

I had several e-mails from the UK gent who wanted to come here so I could perform some kind of "embalming" ritual, put him in a casket, and bury him in my yard.  I refused on the basis of having no yard.


So, if I supplied the yard?....



and who was going to provide the coffin - which aren't cheap, and the back hoe to dig the hole? i've dug in my yard and the roots from the trees are very hard to dig up. I think this fella would be exausted by the time he dug his own hole, and the blisters would put him off something fierce!      But then, maybe he would have been shocked and appaulled if you had said yes. *sigh*  its hard when reality collides with fantasy. 

(in reply to littlesarbonn)
Profile   Post #: 126
RE: Strangest initial relationship demand you received - 9/14/2008 2:06:35 PM   
LonDom61


Posts: 196
Joined: 9/12/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ShiftedJewel
 
Then there was the guy that emailed me outta the blue and asked me if I would PLEASE castrate him? Ummm... no.
 
Jewel



Indeed, Dominants DO get 'em too.

I heard from that guy too (or another like him).  If it's the same guy, I guess he's bi (for now...hah "bye for now"; ie no longer "he" once sans juevos) in that a Dom or Domme can wield the knife...or scissors...or...?

A guy from New Jersey offered to come to my place for no strings housework.  Something about how straight male Doms were the top of the food chain (analogy, not his words), so he was drawn to offer them his abject service, blah, blah, blah.   Edited to add perspective: I live in Canada, not far from Detroit.  ie a biggish jaunt from NJ

And a hottie from Holland (well, pic was hot anyway)..."hottje"?...offered to come & be my "breeding slave". Idly curious (no, really, just idly), I perved her profile.  Letter was in English, but profile was all Dutch.

Sadly, it seems to me, that fem subs get bad email from guys (wannabe Doms, misguided subs who want the femsub to dom them, etc.) and Dominants get bad email...also mostly from guys.

Sigh

< Message edited by LonDom61 -- 9/14/2008 2:08:43 PM >

(in reply to ShiftedJewel)
Profile   Post #: 127
RE: Strangest initial relationship demand you received - 9/14/2008 2:22:01 PM   
LonDom61


Posts: 196
Joined: 9/12/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: hopelessfool

.... After reading the how many terms are there for masturbation, the man with the chicken fantasy might not have taken "choking the chicken" a little to literally.


Wait a sec, hopeless...  (Edit:  Sorry, kitten got the chicken msg; hopeless was just commenting on it. )

In your original comment you mentioned "whole chicken".  you didn't say "whole LIVING chicken" (ie chokable).  Now THAT's weird.  I hope you told him to go pluck himself.  Better yet, just ignored him...since he probably used any reply as an excuse to pullet.

< Message edited by LonDom61 -- 9/14/2008 2:25:35 PM >

(in reply to hopelessfool)
Profile   Post #: 128
RE: Strangest initial relationship demand you received - 9/14/2008 2:32:28 PM   
IvyMorgan


Posts: 729
Joined: 7/5/2007
From: Midlands, UK
Status: offline 		*reminisces about the marble egg guy*

i knew i was a twue sub when I got his memo.

(in reply to LonDom61)
Profile   Post #: 129
RE: Strangest initial relationship demand you received - 9/14/2008 5:37:36 PM   
hopelessfool


Posts: 988
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LonDom61

quote:

ORIGINAL: hopelessfool

.... After reading the how many terms are there for masturbation, the man with the chicken fantasy might not have taken "choking the chicken" a little to literally.


Wait a sec, hopeless...  (Edit:  Sorry, kitten got the chicken msg; hopeless was just commenting on it. )

In your original comment you mentioned "whole chicken".  you didn't say "whole LIVING chicken" (ie chokable).  Now THAT's weird.  I hope you told him to go pluck himself.  Better yet, just ignored him...since he probably used any reply as an excuse to pullet.


No I got the chicken message, and the snuffs, Kitten was commenting on it... see page one.

I so get mistaken repeatedly for someone who enjoys panty hose, a recent message was : hello Mistress, I enjoy greatly being humilated by wearing panty hose, I sneak in to my aunts room at night and steal them so i can sniff and lick the crotch, please collar me and i will do the same to yours.


_____________________________

" I have nothing left to give, I have found the perfect end, You remain to make it hurt, disappear in to the dirt, carry me to heavens arms.....Dear Agony Just let go of me, suffer slowly, is this the way its gotta be, Dear Agony...."

(in reply to LonDom61)
Profile   Post #: 130
RE: Strangest initial relationship demand you received - 9/14/2008 6:01:23 PM   
catize


Posts: 3020
Joined: 3/7/2006
Status: offline
quote:

 and Dominants get bad email...also mostly from guys. 


 
A male dominant friend received this from a woman:  Unless you have an overwhelming desire to buy me expensive presents, spoil me and treat me like a queen, I will not submit to you.


_____________________________

"Power is real. But it's a lot less real if it's not perceived as power."
Robert Parker, Stranger in Paradise

(in reply to LonDom61)
Profile   Post #: 131
RE: Strangest initial relationship demand you received - 9/14/2008 7:33:17 PM   
windchymes


Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Racquelle

I had several e-mails from the UK gent who wanted to come here so I could perform some kind of "embalming" ritual, put him in a casket, and bury him in my yard.  I refused on the basis of having no yard.


Maybe he'll settle for cremation and a niche in the wall?

_____________________________

You know it's going to be a GOOD blow job when she puts a Breathe Right strip on first.

Pick-up artists and garbage men should trade names.

(in reply to Racquelle)
Profile   Post #: 132
RE: Strangest initial relationship demand you received - 9/14/2008 7:49:48 PM   
Lynnxz


Posts: 4813
Joined: 10/3/2006
From: Atlanta
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: hopelessfool

I so get mistaken repeatedly for someone who enjoys panty hose, a recent message was : hello Mistress, I enjoy greatly being humilated by wearing panty hose, I sneak in to my aunts room at night and steal them so i can sniff and lick the crotch, please collar me and i will do the same to yours.


Hehehehe...  just what you want isn't it... to spend 12$ on a nice pair of hose, and then have some idiot lick them and put runs all in them.

Gtfo my hose!


_____________________________

HBIC



(in reply to hopelessfool)
Profile   Post #: 133
RE: Strangest initial relationship demand you received - 9/15/2008 7:09:10 AM   
otkitten


Posts: 2
Joined: 9/15/2008
Status: offline 		A couple of years ago I was emailing and chatting on the phone with a "dom" who described how our first meeting would unfold:

You will come to my house, let yourself in the front door, you will be looking at the floor and will not look at me at all, remove all of your clothes, crawl across the floor to me, give me a blow job to release my tension so I can then focus on you.  You will then crawl to my couch where I will spank you hard until I am through.  Then we will sit on the couch to talk and get to know each other.

OK, logistics aside (like how am I gonna know I'm at the right house ... or, um, where the f*ck in the room he's standing to crawl to him to give him his relieving blow job?)  I did ask the UNFORGIVABLE question "but couldn't we meet in person first and get to know each other?  I feel more comfortable when I can look someone in the eye and see what they are made of ... and need to know someone before I could submit like that."  Yes, well, he informed me I was "wavering in my submission" and he wouldn't tolerate that ... my "phone dom" then informed me he was letting me go. 

hehehe ... oh, poopies, and I thought he was the real thing too ....  

(in reply to Lynnxz)
Profile   Post #: 134
RE: Strangest initial relationship demand you received - 9/15/2008 12:55:26 PM   
myotherself


Posts: 7157
Joined: 3/9/2006
From: The cold bit of the UK
Status: offline 		I got one from a guy who told me he was "impotent due to a medical error"...and wanted me to go live with him to be fucked by his foot.  The left one, apparently.  Maybe the right one is too ugly?

Then he asked for a pic he could wank over.  I sent him a selection of the cock shots I've been sent over the years. 

Not heard back yet, which is lucky really 'cos I can't find a condom in a size 11....

_____________________________

There's nowt so queer as folk


(in reply to thishereboi)
Profile   Post #: 135
RE: Strangest initial relationship demand you received - 9/15/2008 6:51:06 PM   
Racquelle


Posts: 600
Joined: 4/21/2008
Status: offline 		Looks like we have all gotten the e-mail from the marble egg guy.  I warned him that inserting objects without a handle are a bad idea.

(in reply to myotherself)
Profile   Post #: 136
RE: Strangest initial relationship demand you received - 9/15/2008 8:05:21 PM   
allurette


Posts: 10
Joined: 9/22/2007
Status: offline 		I got, "Give me your tears, Gypsy" OKAY, so maybe not, but that would have been a lot more hilarious than some of the others I've received.

1) Leave your owner, and I will buy you real breasts...as big as you want
2) Submit to me, fat ass. (I weigh 137 on a HEAVY day)
3) I want you as a sexual slave not only for me, but for my sons
4) The ever popular... I live to serve you mistress, when I am of course a slave...

Silly silly silly.


_____________________________

allurette.

(in reply to thishereboi)
Profile   Post #: 137
RE: Strangest initial relationship demand you received - 9/15/2008 9:21:05 PM   
shiazn03


Posts: 90
Joined: 11/13/2007
Status: offline 		LOL!  

all these replies are SO funny!!!

alas, i have none of my own, haha.  i am NOT complaining, mind you!

peace out, all! 

(in reply to kittengirl8)
Profile   Post #: 138
RE: Strangest initial relationship demand you received - 9/15/2008 9:26:34 PM   
Lynnxz


Posts: 4813
Joined: 10/3/2006
From: Atlanta
Status: offline 		O no! I have a new one. Someone, please, tell me where the 'troll me' sticker is stuck on my ass, because I can't find that bitch.

This guy wants to "Beet you, and trap you in a cage 24/4 fed on piss" Because apparently he feels that my having pics from last years haunted house on my profile is not Christian.

Gotcha- everyone, take notes.

-Posing with a fake skelly, and painting your face- 1 way ticket to hell
-Feeding girls pee- Jesus approved.


_____________________________

HBIC



(in reply to shiazn03)
Profile   Post #: 139
RE: Strangest initial relationship demand you received - 9/15/2008 9:48:38 PM   
SarahnNV


Posts: 25
Joined: 8/16/2008
Status: offline 		I read these in amusement and awe. 

I've only gotten messages offering to punches in the stomach, anal sex only when I have to 'go', and to become a a sub's sub's slave. 

(in reply to fearghus)
Profile   Post #: 140
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