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Do Real D/s Couples Cum? - 9/11/2008 3:57:52 PM   
candystripper


Posts: 3486
Joined: 11/1/2005
Status: offline 		I have run across this insinuation before:  that in a 'real' D/s relationship, sex itself takes a back seat, or is replaced by play, and what 'cumming' occurs is done only by the Dom.
 
I find this a very odd view of human sexuality; why is the more one gets their kink on, the less likely they should be to cum?
 
candystripper 
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RE: Do Real D/s Couples Cum? - 9/11/2008 4:03:28 PM   
littlesarbonn


Posts: 1710
Joined: 12/3/2005
From: Stockton, California
Status: offline 		This hasn't been my firsthand experience. I've never been with a mistress that wasn't keeping BOTH our desires in mind, especially when owned and living in her space. Sometimes I think they were even more concerned than when I had just been serving them on a part time basis.

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RE: Do Real D/s Couples Cum? - 9/11/2008 4:06:30 PM   
ExSteelAgain


Posts: 1803
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Georgia
Status: offline 		Y'all cum is how we would say it down here in Georgia. I'm all for everyone cumming often as possible. BDSM play can be foreplay or sex can be foreplay to BDSM play. However, just to show you I don't believe in absolutes, every now and then sex alone is fine, the same as with BDSM play without sex.

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RE: Do Real D/s Couples Cum? - 9/11/2008 4:12:09 PM   
Skyfire


Posts: 21
Joined: 6/15/2007
Status: offline 		Unfortunately you will hear a lot of "Real" "True" and "My way is the right way" babble on most web sites.  In my experience (too long to recount) sex is a huge part of BDSM.  Orgasm control is used quite a bit, as is orgasm denial, the only way these techniques even come close to working is if there is stimulation involved.  I hope you do not get bogged down in the message boards, or the advice of "real" lifestylers,  do what feels right. 

That is the only rule anyone in our lifestyle has to obey.  Do what feels right to you, if it feels wrong it probably is.  We do what we do for our own pleasure, do not let anyone tell you what you are doing is wrong, and do not judge them for what they do...until they try to assert their views upon you.

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RE: Do Real D/s Couples Cum? - 9/11/2008 4:12:20 PM   
candystripper


Posts: 3486
Joined: 11/1/2005
Status: offline 		Editted to add:
 

 
LOL.  Stupid pc.

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RE: Do Real D/s Couples Cum? - 9/11/2008 4:25:23 PM   
OneMoreWaste


Posts: 910
Joined: 8/24/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: candystripper

I have run across this insinuation before:  that in a 'real' D/s relationship, sex itself takes a back seat, or is replaced by play, and what 'cumming' occurs is done only by the Dom.



I don't think D/s would be nearly as popular as it is if this were the case.

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RE: Do Real D/s Couples Cum? - 9/11/2008 4:26:19 PM   
CruelDesires


Posts: 824
Joined: 11/20/2004
Status: offline 		My mind is boggled.

C-D

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RE: Do Real D/s Couples Cum? - 9/11/2008 4:27:42 PM   
CalifChick


Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline 		Where are you hearing this?  If from the same dominant men that won't wear a condom due to "ED issues", then I wouldn't put a lot of stock in it.


Cali


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RE: Do Real D/s Couples Cum? - 9/11/2008 4:30:47 PM   
Prinsexx


Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline 		i cum whenever, wherever i am told to....
dry quick, wet slow, squirting, love making, during, after or before bdsm, hands, no hands tantric....by telephone instruction, with a whisper, with a look, in private, in public, anytime, anywhere, anyhow....when i'm told.

as for Master i am not at liberty to discuss it....


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RE: Do Real D/s Couples Cum? - 9/11/2008 4:46:27 PM   
peppermint


Posts: 5169
Joined: 10/18/2005
From: Montana
Status: offline 		You encounter the strangest people.  First it was Doms who won't see a doctor about ED....now it's D/s couples who don't have sex, or on occasion have sex where only the Dom orgasms.  I am sure there are some who lead the life you talk about as there are all kinds of people.  I do not personally know anyone who lives in that way nor have i ever heard of anyone who lives that way. 

In my personal life we have play time, and we also have sex time.  When we have sex i orgasm 10 times for his one.  So...make whatever assumption you desire from that information. 

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RE: Do Real D/s Couples Cum? - 9/11/2008 4:48:32 PM   
MAMandSlave


Posts: 110
Joined: 8/15/2008
Status: offline 		Wow, I can't imagine, I use orgasm with my girl for rewards and consequences. I also used repetative orgasm as a torture. Far from not happening in our D/s relationship, it is an integral part of it.

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RE: Do Real D/s Couples Cum? - 9/11/2008 4:50:40 PM   
Stephann


Posts: 4214
Joined: 12/27/2006
From: Portland, OR
Status: offline 		In my public play experiences, I've found that orgasms from women are expected and encouraged while orgasms from men are generally discouraged and frowned upon.  I wouldn't say this is a hard/fast rule, but the general attitude towards men enjoying themselves sexually just seems to be frowned on.

What happens at home, naturally, is entirely up to the couple involved.  The less my slave is permitted to orgasm, the more (and more often) she seems to enjoy them.

Just my two cents.

Stephan


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RE: Do Real D/s Couples Cum? - 9/11/2008 4:52:07 PM   
kallisto


Posts: 1185
Status: offline 		I'm glad I haven't run across the same situations as the OP.   I think ExSteel said it best.  I don't think there is an absolute in BDSM or sex.    Thank God in every D/s relationship I've been in we've both enjoyed the relationship, the play and the sex (and the cumming).   Wait .. the play and sex help to make the relationship.  

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RE: Do Real D/s Couples Cum? - 9/11/2008 4:54:48 PM   
yourMissTress


Posts: 1665
Joined: 6/14/2005
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: candystripper

I have run across this insinuation before:  that in a 'real' D/s relationship, sex itself takes a back seat, or is replaced by play, and what 'cumming' occurs is done only by the Dom.
 
I find this a very odd view of human sexuality; why is the more one gets their kink on, the less likely they should be to cum?
 
candystripper 


Ummm, who ever you are getting your "real" D/s relationship lessons from must be a person whose kinks are in chastity or long term orgasm denial for the sub?
 
Orgasm control and denial, controlling when and how the sub comes, still involve the sub coming. 

For me, sex and gratification are a big part of BDSM, and for my partners as well. 





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Tress


"If you have to tell people that you are a lady, you are not." My Grandmother


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RE: Do Real D/s Couples Cum? - 9/11/2008 4:55:49 PM   
Twicehappy2x


Posts: 1096
Joined: 3/27/2007
Status: offline 		 
I have no idea where you get your information but in this relationship, well in a quite a few others i am close enough to those involved to know first hand info, the s (lucky me) gets off wayyyyy more than the D.
 
Perhaps because being male he is loaded for a few rounds while being female i am loaded for multiples.

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RE: Do Real D/s Couples Cum? - 9/11/2008 4:59:36 PM   
Shawn1066


Posts: 987
Joined: 10/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: candystripper

I have run across this insinuation before:  that in a 'real' D/s relationship, sex itself takes a back seat, or is replaced by play, and what 'cumming' occurs is done only by the Dom.
 
I find this a very odd view of human sexuality; why is the more one gets their kink on, the less likely they should be to cum?
 
candystripper 


We both cum.  Sometimes she comes more than I do--more often than not I actually cum more than she does.  Who gets it more often is not really relevant to our dynamic.  There's more to the sexual side of things than the orgasm.  It can be just as enjoyable without one.  When she wants an orgasm from me, she'll take it and when she's decided she wants me to bring her to one, she'll have her way.

*shrugs*

It works for us and we're happy. :-)

DV's Fox.

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RE: Do Real D/s Couples Cum? - 9/11/2008 5:01:13 PM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline 		So the perfect example, based upon your vast and varied experience and research, to illustrate a "real" D/s Couple would be the orgasm denied sub from this thread and the ED Dom from another...

WOW - We've GOT to get these kids together!

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RE: Do Real D/s Couples Cum? - 9/11/2008 5:04:59 PM   
LadyLupineNYC


Posts: 618
Joined: 12/14/2006
From: NYC
Status: offline 		We also both cum, but I have to be honest, the sex is all kink. We both joke that at this point we would be hard pressed to have vanilla sex.  For the time being, that is ok and I am not sure that I totally think we are hopeless yet it’s just that he is so much fun to torment and abuse!   

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RE: Do Real D/s Couples Cum? - 9/11/2008 5:05:00 PM   
Prinsexx


Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

So the perfect example, based upon your vast and varied experience and research, to illustrate a "real" D/s Couple would be the orgasm denied sub from this thread and the ED Dom from another...

WOW - We've GOT to get these kids together!

i've tried to track them down but i don't think their profiles can be found.....
i'll book the room though if anyone has better luck....


_____________________________

Owner of asterion

Metawhore.... the sound of a metaphore when gagged
Free woman
Resident thread finisher
To my stalker:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LN2lP_7J7GI&feature=fvwrel

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RE: Do Real D/s Couples Cum? - 9/11/2008 5:05:51 PM   
CalifChick


Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline 		Make it the Stratosphere hotel in Vegas and we'll take pictures.

Cali


_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

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