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Falling 4 Master - 11/28/2005 11:13:54 PM   
CrimsonKitty


Posts: 5
Joined: 10/23/2005
Status: offline 		I am falling for my Master. Is this appropriate? Is this normal?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Falling 4 Master - 11/29/2005 12:24:45 AM   
LessThanKate


Posts: 20
Joined: 10/20/2005
Status: offline 		From what I understand, this is a perfectly normal and appropriate maturation of a Dom/sub relationship. My Master and I frequently tell each other that W/we love O/one another. Along with a certain level of trust comes feelings that do not appear in casual relations.

Does your Dom know how you feel?

kate

(in reply to CrimsonKitty)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Falling 4 Master - 11/29/2005 4:57:58 AM   
littleone35


Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline 		This is totally natural and normal. I hope he feels the same way about you just be careful you do not get hurt. I once had a Master who did not want me to fall in love with him. Loveing someone is fine and i whish you the best of luck.

littleone

(in reply to CrimsonKitty)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Falling 4 Master - 11/29/2005 5:30:47 AM   
JohnWarren


Posts: 3807
Joined: 3/18/2005
From: Delray Beach, FL
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: littleone35

This is totally natural and normal. I hope he feels the same way about you just be careful you do not get hurt. I once had a Master who did not want me to fall in love with him. Loveing someone is fine and i whish you the best of luck.

littleone



This is an important factor and one that really should be discussed upfront in the primary negotiations. This is particularly true for people who want to maintain emotional limits on that specific relationship.

For example, Libby is my primary partner and I make it very clear that NOTHING is going to be allowed to interfere with that partnership.

Of course, a lot goes into what a person means by "love." We often play occasionally with people we like, but for someone to become a regular part of our lives we really have to "love" them, by our definition. This means that their happiness is very important to us and we are willing to give up some of our happiness to maximize theirs.

We don't verbalize that, largely because people misinterpret it to mean a kind of exclusivity that simply isn't going to happen.



_____________________________

www.lovingdominant.org

(in reply to littleone35)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Falling 4 Master - 11/29/2005 5:41:18 AM   
lovingsubmissio


Posts: 3
Joined: 11/28/2005
Status: offline 		This is something I struggled with when I began to develop feelings for my Master and our bond began to deepen. We are both married to others and accept that those marriages are always going to come first. We also, due to distance, accept that we may occasionally play with others. However, in order to really submit to him in a meaningful way and surrender myself body and soul when we are together, I had to develop some love for him. I am confident it is mutual. We rarely verbalize it, but we feel the affection, respect and admiration for each other that is what I would call love. I do think it is stronger, more emotional, on my side, but he respects my feelings and understands why it has to be that way for me to truly submit to him.

Having said that, we have always agreed, from the very beginning, that if we did use the word love, it was with understood boundaries, that would never threaten our marriages.

It works for us this way, going on five years now, but may not work for others.

Sarah

(in reply to JohnWarren)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Falling 4 Master - 11/29/2005 10:57:38 AM   
liltwisted1


Posts: 7
Joined: 6/8/2005
Status: offline 		Normal or natural? Yes, although many would argue that point. this slave is in love with her Master and, he with i. you must discuss this with him and, if you find this is not as he wants, take the appropriate action. Remember, you gave him that right when you kneeled and/or accepted his collar. Not as easy as we thought, yes?

(in reply to CrimsonKitty)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Falling 4 Master - 11/29/2005 2:46:22 PM   
BeachBear


Posts: 30
Joined: 10/31/2005
Status: offline 		I have been in a D/s relatioship since I was about 14 or so, I'm 47 now.... yeah, the math is scary. I have never allowed a Domme to hold my lead that I was not both attracted to, and utterly respected, as a result I have always been at least a little bit in love with my Domme. My present one I am nuts about, and she declares the same about me.

enjoy the ride,

bear
Uppity Pet to the Domina Selaene


(in reply to LessThanKate)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Falling 4 Master - 11/29/2005 3:06:49 PM   
BeingChewsie


Posts: 1633
Joined: 10/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CrimsonKitty

I am falling for my Master. Is this appropriate? Is this normal?


It is appropriate to express to your owner if he says it is. I am allowed to tell my owner I love him, though he doesn't care to hear it consntantly and always makes it clear he does not love me.

(in reply to CrimsonKitty)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Falling 4 Master - 11/29/2005 3:16:43 PM   
jamesthehumanrug


Posts: 668
Joined: 10/21/2005
Status: offline 		greetings crimson kitty ,
one time: my mistress i usually walked ,behind her asked, for me, to hold her hand and i kept my place ,in formal service, to her and, refused,or really hesitated,(in reverence,to ,not violate her, other bigger important relationships),to this day;i am ,so sorry,now she was murdered,because of me,to my estimation,standing ,up,for me,and, i always flashback,to eighth street ;her turning her head ,stopping and, reaching her hand ,out ,to me ,in nyny,1993,on our way,to mistress veras' house ;i get sick everytime;so i can't say refuse the top their request ,or stay, in your place anymore,not after,that
i should have known
i should have known she was capable ,of asking, for what she wanted ,of loving me and, i should have responded ,in kind,but i did'nt, so:
is it o.k,to fall,in love ,and ,act like a "loving-couple",esp.,in public ?....
is ,always a question ,on my mind,to this day,and,time
....
so ,with this reply,to your posting ;
i'm finished,for the time-being.
later everyone.


< Message edited by jamesthehumanrug -- 11/29/2005 3:17:32 PM >

_____________________________

I REMAIN RESPECTFULLY SUBMITTED
,LOVEles,
jamesthehumanrug

(in reply to CrimsonKitty)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Falling 4 Master - 11/29/2005 5:19:03 PM   
subbella


Posts: 237
Status: offline 		I believe that any changes in your emotional attachment to your Master should be discussed openly and honestly. If your Master feels uncomfortable or threatened by your new feelings towards him, you should give him the opportunity to let that be known to you. Good communication is key in any relationship, but is essential in the realm of a Dom/sub relationship.

_____________________________

Music, Magic, and Mystery are the muses that inspire her artwork and her life.

SUBMISSION . . . it isn't her pasttime, it's her calling.

subbella

(in reply to jamesthehumanrug)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Falling 4 Master - 11/29/2005 6:09:53 PM   
AbstractSavant


Posts: 149
Joined: 6/5/2005
Status: offline 		I'd say it's very normal.

My Master and I met in March, he instantly became my dominant and within a month I was calling him Master.

By May, I was in love.

That love was unrequited until mid-July, when one night as he was drifting off to sleep, he replied to my nightly statement of love with "part of me feels the same". A week later, he full on threw an "I love you" at me from out of nowhere in the middle of a conversaiton, and we have become nothing but more intimate and closer since then.


(in reply to subbella)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Falling 4 Master - 11/29/2005 6:43:52 PM   
CrimsonKitty


Posts: 5
Joined: 10/23/2005
Status: offline 		Thank you everyone for your input. I haven't told him the words "I love you" because I'm scared to do so. I have however, told him that I have feelings for him and he tells me that it hurts him that he can not return those feelings but that my happiness means alot to him. it confuses me.

(in reply to AbstractSavant)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Falling 4 Master - 11/29/2005 7:00:04 PM   
Snivilis


Posts: 7
Joined: 11/21/2005
From: USA
Status: offline 		There are people that do not believe in love, but do believe in really caring for someone. I am one of those and it sounds like your master is also one. It sounds to me like he really cares for you if happiness means alot to him, and that should be enough. Do not let it pull you down, your Master cares and that is all that matters.

_____________________________

"Tailgaters will be fed to the reavers!"

(in reply to CrimsonKitty)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Falling 4 Master - 11/29/2005 8:31:11 PM   
subbella


Posts: 237
Status: offline 		Unrequited love can be painful, and can bring to an end a relationship that is based on one-sided love. If a Master cannot return the feelings of His sub, then the Master may have to look inside himself to find out why. A sub that is locked out from the joy of serving her Master can only be left to ask herself why? Did she do something wrong? Was loving him wrong? Why did he turn away? Once again, I stress. Open and honest communication is the key to this sort of relationship. Always, always let your Master know what you are feeling, no matter how scared you may be. He has the right to know how you feel, and you have the right to know his feelings towards you. If a Master and sub cannot honestly express their feelings towards each other, then the relationship may be doomed before it has time to grow. Sorry to be so pessimistic. Just want to save someone else from the mistakes I've made myself!

_____________________________

Music, Magic, and Mystery are the muses that inspire her artwork and her life.

SUBMISSION . . . it isn't her pasttime, it's her calling.

subbella

(in reply to Snivilis)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Falling 4 Master - 11/29/2005 8:45:56 PM   
LindaLashes


Posts: 170
Joined: 10/28/2005
Status: offline 		I agree that things like that have to be discussed right away. At the beginning of my relations with Mistress she specificly laid out the nature of our relationship. She already has a partner who she loves and will not tolerate a lovestruct puppy hanging around her... And I don´t have that kind of love for her, more like an enormous admiration, respect and affinity,, maybe similar to a platonic love someone has for his teacher, only, different.

_____________________________

Smack me around and call me Suzy...

(in reply to subbella)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Falling 4 Master - 11/29/2005 9:14:46 PM   
theRose4U


Posts: 3403
Joined: 8/22/2005
Status: offline
quote:

Thank you everyone for your input. I haven't told him the words "I love you" because I'm scared to do so. I have however, told him that I have feelings for him and he tells me that it hurts him that he can not return those feelings but that my happiness means alot to him. it confuses me.


EEEk that kind of screams married. Has he explained what he means by he can't return those feelings?

(in reply to CrimsonKitty)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Falling 4 Master - 11/29/2005 10:22:38 PM   
CrimsonKitty


Posts: 5
Joined: 10/23/2005
Status: offline 		No he's not married. I know this for a fact.

< Message edited by CrimsonKitty -- 11/29/2005 10:23:08 PM >

(in reply to theRose4U)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Falling 4 Master - 11/29/2005 10:39:57 PM   
slavejali


Posts: 2918
Status: offline
quote:

have however, told him that I have feelings for him and he tells me that it hurts him that he can not return those feelings but that my happiness means alot to him.

i think you need to reassess the relationship or you're in for a world of hurt...feelings that are one-sided in any type of relationship, bdsm or not, is gonna get bad.

(in reply to CrimsonKitty)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Falling 4 Master - 12/1/2005 7:18:34 PM   
fastlane


Posts: 2159
Joined: 5/26/2005
Status: offline 		You are falling for Master...if he's sadistic, he will let you fall and hit your head. If he is loving, he will catch you. If he is not looking for a relationship...he will run.
If he just wants sex, he will let you fall, hit your head, pull your pants down, fuck you and then run.

so there are the scenarios, as I see them.

_____________________________

Just because it hurts, doesn't necessarily make it a bad thing.

(in reply to slavejali)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Falling 4 Master - 12/1/2005 8:13:22 PM   
subbella


Posts: 237
Status: offline 		Very funny, fastlane. I enjoy your sense of humor and your light hearted take on a potentially serious issue. Your scenario more or less fits the one I just extricated myself from, and may possibly get myself entangled in again, a Master who "runs" from love.

_____________________________

Music, Magic, and Mystery are the muses that inspire her artwork and her life.

SUBMISSION . . . it isn't her pasttime, it's her calling.

subbella

(in reply to fastlane)
Profile   Post #: 20
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