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From "Ick" to "oh yeah" - 11/28/2005 11:46:29 PM

cravinspankin

Posts: 127
Joined: 10/4/2005
Status: offline

As i delve further into this D/s, bdsm lifestyle, i find there are things that even a few short months ago were on my "no fricken way (hard limits)* list.
But after actually experiencing them, find that i enjoy them, dependent, of course, upon my partner. Among them: canes, rimming.
Other things.. i've never tried, and have never desired to do so, but find that i might try with one certain Dom i'm getting to know.
I wonder.. what are some of the things that you once thought were disgusting or completely unappealing... Until you tried them, but have since found you enjoy it??

Post #: 1

RE: From "Ick" to "oh yeah" - 11/29/2005 2:59:16 AM

sweetpettjenny

Posts: 674
Joined: 11/7/2004
Status: offline

its called trust and removing barriers through trust...its quite nice huh?

(in reply to cravinspankin)

Post #: 2

RE: From "Ick" to "oh yeah" - 11/29/2005 3:14:40 AM

TieAndTickleMe

Posts: 10
Joined: 4/4/2004
Status: offline

I think that this is what happens when someone keeps an open mind...

My current GF used to hate having her feet even looked at; she thought that they were ugly, and couldn't imagine anyone wanting to do with them. She is 37 and she had never even had a pedicure!
After months of carefull orchestration and starting slowly (innocent foot rubs and massages when she came home from work), I have gotten her to the point where not only does she like it when I look at her feet (which gives me something of a "rise" every time) but she thoroughly enjoys the pedicures, and licks, and kisses that I give them. When having sex, I can tell when she is nearly ready to cum...and will occasionally start licking her toes and tickling her soles with my tongue (something she would have NEVER dreamed of months ago), which sends her absolutely off the deep end in multiple orgsms (particularly if I time it right). Now, she enjoys showing off her constantly maintained pedicured toes, and loves teasing me with them.

Virtues of an open mind, and relationships where one can safely try new things !!

(in reply to cravinspankin)

Post #: 3

RE: From "Ick" to "oh yeah" - 11/29/2005 6:07:22 AM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetpettjenny

its called trust and removing barriers through trust...its quite nice huh?

Well that's certainly a lot of it. But more is just getting over the newness and overwhelming idea of it. The more you are exposed to an idea, the more realistic and understandable it becomes. So simple exposure is what breaks down a lot of the newbies initial freak out "NO WAY YOU ARE COMING NEAR ME WITH THAT!" into "Well ok let me just TRY..." and into "OMG that's amazing please do it again!"

(in reply to sweetpettjenny)

Post #: 4

RE: From "Ick" to "oh yeah" - 11/29/2005 6:57:07 AM

Synocense

Posts: 255
Joined: 8/8/2004
Status: offline

I agree with this totally, LuckyAlbatross because as a person who does memberships for our local BDSM club, I come in contact with many kinky folks, from novice to veteran. Part of my enjoyment is seeing exactly this transition. Fears as this sort are born in our mind and only upon seeing it firsthand do the fears subside and allow the brain to process what is *really* happening, without all the junk we imagine. Then it isn't so frightening and you can take the next step forward.

I went through this myself. Heck, once upon a time just the thought of kneeling and being so wholly vulnerable scared the living bejeezus out of me, much less allowing someone to put me in that position and hit little ole me with something that horses snarl at! (...or whatever horses do. lol ) But once I witnessed it, experienced it...and accepted it, I realised I had never been more excited, fulfilled and had the sense of being home. No way that could be bad.

Syn

_____________________________

Before you speak, ask yourself..
Is it kind? Is it true? Is it necessary?
Does it improve upon the silence?

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 5

RE: From "Ick" to "oh yeah" - 11/29/2005 7:24:57 AM

fldrkhorse

Posts: 158
Joined: 11/5/2005
From: North Carolina
Status: offline

It is the power, wisdom, technique, style, and approach from the Master that breaks down barriers to take a submissive past thier fears and into the unkown because they know the Master will not allow them to fail. They are not afraid of the act, they are afraid of the results of the act.

Therefore when the submissive transfers thier fears to the Master, the Master fills the void with His power. That creates an unbreakable bond, much like an umbilical cord, by which energy passes between the two.

_____________________________

I'm not where I need to be, but I'm better than I was yesterday.

Namaste, I honor the divine in you

(in reply to sweetpettjenny)

Post #: 6

RE: From "Ick" to "oh yeah" - 11/29/2005 7:29:27 AM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: fldrkhorse

It is the power, wisdom, technique, style, and approach from the Master that breaks down barriers to take a submissive past thier fears and into the unkown because they know the Master will not allow them to fail. They are not afraid of the act, they are afraid of the results of the act.

Therefore when the submissive transfers thier fears to the Master, the Master fills the void with His power. That creates an unbreakable bond, much like an umbilical cord, by which energy passes between the two.

And that's all a bit too romantic and one-sided for my tastes.

Sure, a good top/dom/master/d-type can go a long way to helping an s-type get beyond boundaries and explore new things.

But let's face it, plenty of s-types explore new things all on their own, and want to do things that d-types have no interest in whatsoever.

And subs don't allow it to happen because they know "they won't be allowed to fail." Failure is part of the exploring process. D-types are human, they can't promise things like that. If they TRY to promise and then DO fail...well that's why we see so many broken s-types around, because everyone tried to live up to some unrealistic standard and then got REALLY hurt when it didn't work out.

S-types trust d-types because they know, WHATEVER happens, it's gonna be ok in the long term, whether a particular scene is completely f-ed up or not.

I don't transfer my fears, I deal with them. IMO that's the only way a person actually gets through them- by taking personal responsibility and working through them. And I am not empowered by my dom alone. Many people in my life help me through my fears, and help me in handling them.

And it doesn't necessarily build an unbreakable bond. As I said, subs get through fears on their own all the time, subs get through fears by people other than their dominants all the time.

And...what about the times that the slaves help the masters through their fears?

(in reply to fldrkhorse)

Post #: 7

RE: From "Ick" to "oh yeah" - 11/29/2005 7:31:12 AM

KatyLied

Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline

quote:

"Ick" to "oh yeah"

This is how you should be moving forward in the lifestyle. New experiences, a changing of ick to oh yeah. It is good stuff.

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 8

RE: From "Ick" to "oh yeah" - 11/29/2005 7:33:18 AM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied
This is how you should be moving forward in the lifestyle. New experiences, a changing of ick to oh yeah. It is good stuff.

Of course I'm going to say "yes and no"

Sure, it's great to explore, specially as a newbie, and not let your fear of the unknown prevent you from simply enjoying great things.

But I dislike the obsession people have with pushing limits, making breaking a limit a goal in itself. To me that loses the focus of the experience and doesn't really add to the relationship. Sometimes limits are just limits. Sometimes it's good to just leave them alone.

Sometimes people really are just happy as they are and have no need or desire to "push."

(in reply to KatyLied)

Post #: 9

RE: From "Ick" to "oh yeah" - 11/29/2005 7:48:13 AM

pollux

Posts: 657
Joined: 7/26/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

But I dislike the obsession people have with pushing limits, making breaking a limit a goal in itself. To me that loses the focus of the experience and doesn't really add to the relationship. Sometimes limits are just limits. Sometimes it's good to just leave them alone.

Sometimes people really are just happy as they are and have no need or desire to "push."

Interesting. I'm glad to see this post.

It seems to me that many people accept this idea of expanding limits a little bit too uncritically. I suspect there are plenty of people for whom a *contraction* of their limits would be a good thing.

No one I've talked to in the scene seems to agree with me on that, though.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 10

RE: From "Ick" to "oh yeah" - 11/29/2005 10:24:45 AM

LadyAngelika

Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: pollux

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

But I dislike the obsession people have with pushing limits, making breaking a limit a goal in itself. To me that loses the focus of the experience and doesn't really add to the relationship. Sometimes limits are just limits. Sometimes it's good to just leave them alone.

Sometimes people really are just happy as they are and have no need or desire to "push."

Interesting. I'm glad to see this post.

It seems to me that many people accept this idea of expanding limits a little bit too uncritically. I suspect there are plenty of people for whom a *contraction* of their limits would be a good thing.

No one I've talked to in the scene seems to agree with me on that, though.

I agree with you. As I just finished posting in another thread. I prefer no-limits relationships where I know the fears and vulnerabilities of the other. It is up to me then to exercise restraint and earn trust by knowing when and where and if to push someone's boundaries and realising that it always come at a cost.

- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to pollux)

Post #: 11

RE: From "Ick" to "oh yeah" - 11/29/2005 10:42:19 AM

KatyLied

Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline

Actually I agree with the pushing of limits thing. Some are hard limits and it's not going to change. But I've experienced things that I once thought I'd find distasteful. I guess the key is communicating between the "maybe" and the "no way'.

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to LadyAngelika)

Post #: 12

RE: From "Ick" to "oh yeah" - 11/29/2005 1:14:07 PM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

I have always been a person who played without a net, essentially, but I've never felt the desire to push someone into new turf unless they *wanted* to be pushed. If you told me ten years ago some of the things that I accept as not even interesting anymore, I would be very surprised indeed----including some things that had NO appeal for me at all back then, which I really enjoy now.

Still, my immovable limits are the same. The few things that turn my stomach still do. I have absolutely no desire to try moving those limits out of the way. If the person I am working with wants to expand his or her horizons, spiffy! I know that I have gotten folks to take a lot more and different than they thought they could, through communication and trust over a period of time.

Being open to new ideas helps.

F

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]

(in reply to KatyLied)

Post #: 13

RE: From "Ick" to "oh yeah" - 11/29/2005 2:58:25 PM

jamesthehumanrug

Posts: 668
Joined: 10/21/2005
Status: offline

ok greetings, are you ready cravin a spankin
i had my face inflated with celine like they do in some hair transplants and, made an inflatable face ,for her ,to walk; stand, or sit- on like a pillow(objectification)
hard limit:anything,but,please
dont make me ugly, or i'll be shot....like a moose, in the woods.
there's more, but,.....i don't ....think you know the ,underground sub levels ....gill-boy ,feild surgeons ;elite forces ,etc.....,and, consent.

< Message edited by jamesthehumanrug -- 11/29/2005 3:00:36 PM >

_____________________________

I REMAIN RESPECTFULLY SUBMITTED
,LOVEles,
jamesthehumanrug

(in reply to cravinspankin)

Post #: 14

RE: From "Ick" to "oh yeah" - 11/29/2005 3:13:33 PM

slavejali

Posts: 2918
Status: offline

My "ick to oh yeah" was having my nipples pierced.

(in reply to jamesthehumanrug)

Post #: 15

RE: From "Ick" to "oh yeah" - 11/29/2005 4:44:51 PM

swtnsparkling

Posts: 1738
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

Something i had thought to be very unappealing- Rope Bondage
Now- Oh Yeah!

_____________________________

Never make anyone a priority who treats you as an option 2003

Walk in Peace

A "No" uttered from deepest conviction is better than a "Yes" uttered merely to please

(in reply to cravinspankin)

Post #: 16

RE: From "Ick" to "oh yeah" - 11/29/2005 5:05:59 PM

kyraofMists

Posts: 3292
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: cravinspankin

I wonder.. what are some of the things that you once thought were disgusting or completely unappealing... Until you tried them, but have since found you enjoy it??

I remember when I first met my Lord, I said "no knife play and no marks". Now I sit here with his symbol carved into my thigh and the sensation of the knife being one of my most favorites.

Knight's kyra

(in reply to cravinspankin)

Post #: 17

RE: From "Ick" to "oh yeah" - 11/29/2005 5:16:26 PM

Wildfleurs

Posts: 1650
Joined: 9/24/2004
From: Connecticut
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: cravinspankin

As i delve further into this D/s, bdsm lifestyle, i find there are things that even a few short months ago were on my "no fricken way (hard limits)* list.
But after actually experiencing them, find that i enjoy them, dependent, of course, upon my partner. Among them: canes, rimming.
Other things.. i've never tried, and have never desired to do so, but find that i might try with one certain Dom i'm getting to know.
I wonder.. what are some of the things that you once thought were disgusting or completely unappealing... Until you tried them, but have since found you enjoy it??

Over the years there have definitely been a lot of things I didn't think would appeal to me (blood sports via cutting, branding, piercing, golden showers, and rimming off the top of my head). But we grow and we change and there's been things that I knew I wasn't going to enjoy but I've done for him, but by and large the things we've tried I've enjoyed sometimes to my surprise and sometimes to his surprise (that he's enjoyed something as much as he has).

C~

_____________________________

"Just because you've always done it that way doesn't mean it's not incredibly stupid." -despair.com

~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
The heart of it all - http://www.wildfleurs.com
~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

(in reply to cravinspankin)

Post #: 18

RE: From "Ick" to "oh yeah" - 11/29/2005 5:30:25 PM

girl4you2

Posts: 1622
Joined: 8/4/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetpettjenny

its called trust and removing barriers through trust...its quite nice huh?

indeed

_____________________________

maireann croí éadrom i bhfad. is maith an scáthán súil charad. is leor nod don eolach.
got shoes?

(in reply to sweetpettjenny)

Post #: 19

RE: From "Ick" to "oh yeah" - 11/29/2005 8:18:30 PM

tedibare

Posts: 54
Joined: 8/24/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: pollux
Interesting. I'm glad to see this post.

It seems to me that many people accept this idea of expanding limits a little bit too uncritically. I suspect there are plenty of people for whom a *contraction* of their limits would be a good thing.

No one I've talked to in the scene seems to agree with me on that, though.

ummm ive met some of those people... lol at least i thought they could ummm reign it in a bit... as for me, i dont have a limits list persay... i have a list of things i wont do under any circumstances, things i probably wouldnt do under any circumstances, things i WOULD do with the right person, things i would do in most situations and things i really really really like

lol its a long list, what can i say

tedi

(in reply to pollux)

Post #: 20

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