How many of you are involved in an real life kink community?

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All Forums >> [Casual Banter] >> Polls and Other Random Stupidity >> How many of you are involved in an real life kink community?

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[Poll]

How many of you are involved in an real life kink community?

I am an active part of my local scene.

57% (44)

I have been a part of my local scene but no longer am.

18% (14)

I am not involved but would like to be.

7% (6)

I am not involved and have no interest.

15% (12)

Total Votes : 76

(last vote on : 7/4/2010 2:49:32 PM)
(Poll will run till: -- )

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How many of you are involved in an real life kink commu... - 9/14/2008 9:10:35 AM

bloodquail

Posts: 9
Joined: 11/18/2007
Status: offline

I was just wondering how many people on here are part of a real life "scene" in addition to posting online. By "scene" I mean you attend workshops, go to munches, have kinky friends, attend play parties... that sort of thing. I ask because I've noticed a pretty startling difference in safety standards online vs. the people I know - it seems as though a lot of kink safety "best practices" type stuff never gets communicated online, either because it's boring, because people get caught up in the fantasy of it, or because there's so much information online it can be difficult to sort out fantasy from reality.

I feel as though there really isn't a substitute for in-person instruction and membership in a community of experienced people willing to help you learn. So I was wondering - how many people on here are part of such a community in their area? If not, why?

Post #: 1

RE: How many of you are involved in an real life kink c... - 9/14/2008 9:14:19 AM

CalifChick

Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline

Don't be surprised when this thread gets moved to "Polls and Random Stupidity".

I have not noticed any lack of "safety" information online... in fact, it seems like at least every other week someone comes on here and posts a big, "important" notice of safety information, which comes off sounding very one-true-wayish, and quite condescending. Preaching to the choir.

Cali

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(in reply to bloodquail)

Post #: 2

RE: How many of you are involved in an real life kink c... - 9/14/2008 9:15:26 AM

CruelDesires

Posts: 824
Joined: 11/20/2004
Status: offline

Workshops bore me.

C-D

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(in reply to bloodquail)

Post #: 3

RE: How many of you are involved in an real life kink c... - 9/14/2008 9:24:42 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

I'm a two hour drive from anything, so I'm not going.

About safety, online is filled with not meeting someone for coffee unless you know their name, address, home & work numbers, etc. I wonder if these people have never started talking to someone in a store, while waiting online, at a bar, restaurant and so on. Most people I know have met people and given out their numbers if they wanted to see them again.

The online safety stuff makes me wonder if these people haven't ever been to a party with people they've never before met. Hell, I've chatted and flirted in bars, had one night stands, and did all those common college things. And yes, I played on the second meet, and I'm still with him!

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(in reply to CruelDesires)

Post #: 4

RE: How many of you are involved in an real life kink c... - 9/14/2008 9:26:21 AM

camille65

Posts: 5746
Joined: 7/11/2007
From: Austin Texas
Status: offline

I think that safety is almost hyperactively talked about online.

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(in reply to bloodquail)

Post #: 5

RE: How many of you are involved in an real life kink c... - 9/14/2008 10:03:49 AM

angelspassion4u

Posts: 632
Joined: 7/17/2006
From: Angels
Status: offline

So far, I have only been involved with going to munches since this past May. I just went to one last weekend. It was alot of fun. It was the most people showing up since I started going. I am actually trying to save up enough money to go to their annual Halloween party and it will also be my first play party. I am going as an observer. Now, that I know some of these people, I feel comfortable enough to go and watch.

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(in reply to camille65)

Post #: 6

RE: How many of you are involved in an real life kink c... - 9/14/2008 10:22:53 AM

sambamanslilgirl

Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline

i've attended a few fetish parties here and there ...visited a couple of clubs however joining a local community or munch doesn't hold any interest for me.

my opinion, the parties are more like attending rock shows since they mix the fetish side with the goth/industrial bands that are asked to perform ...many are there for show and no play ...and the crowd - much younger than me.

i'll stick to playing privately with my pet and reviewing bands/artists.

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(in reply to bloodquail)

Post #: 7

RE: How many of you are involved in an real life kink c... - 9/14/2008 10:32:03 AM

BRNaughtyAngel

Posts: 1821
Status: offline

I met my Master at our local BDSM club. We are friends with many of the members, and because our group (RSVP in Baton Rouge) is very social, we also socialize with folks from the club frequently.

We attend play parties and demos as His schedule permits, and sometimes I go alone.

As to safety, these issues are brought up at demos, but people also just sit around, visit, chit chat and talk about various forms of play. You learn a lot from talking to others, as well as watching them play.

(in reply to bloodquail)

Post #: 8

RE: How many of you are involved in an real life kink c... - 9/14/2008 10:48:57 AM

everhope

Posts: 2179
Joined: 8/19/2007
Status: offline

i go to 2 different socials occasionally and when i can a monthly D/s discussion group. i have attended private play parties, dungeons parties and big events too. at the end of the month, i will be flying off to SF for Folsom Fringe and the Folsom Street Fair...i had a blast last year!

i have met several prospect partners that i met online in the flesh. common sense has been my guide and i have not experienced any major physical or emotional dangers.

may we all find our bliss.

_____________________________

may we all find our bliss

Resident VWB

We all die.
The goal isn't to live forever.
The goal is to create something that will.

(in reply to sambamanslilgirl)

Post #: 9

RE: How many of you are involved in an real life kink c... - 9/14/2008 10:52:09 AM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

Out forever. Organized events, ran groups, gave talks and classes, still mentor newbies and show them the nice people.

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[page 23 girl]

(in reply to everhope)

Post #: 10

RE: How many of you are involved in an real life kink c... - 9/14/2008 12:48:47 PM

YourhandMyAss

Posts: 5516
Joined: 6/25/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline

First off do not make the mistake of thinking all people in the comunity, want to help you learn and explore. There's quite a few people who do, but there's quite a few people who feel it's not their job to teach newbies. Second off, you don't need a comunity of people to teach you things. You can learn quite fine and quite adeptly with a legit, knowlegable one on one person.

And thirdly, you can be real life, and experinced to boot and not go to munches and work shops and be memebers of the local kink groups. I kind of get the feeling you're implying that someone who doesn't do munches work shops or be involved in the local groups are not real life experinced people. I couldn't care one whit about joining most the local groups here,( with exception of one) or attending their classes, or dealing with their petty and clicky societies, but I HAVE been doing bdsm in real life, reglardless of it not being in a club or a "community" or having memeberships to "communities since I was 18. I am going to be turning 26 in November, so I have a long history of in real life person to person of doing kinks.

quote:

ORIGINAL: bloodquail

I was just wondering how many people on here are part of a real life "scene" in addition to posting online. By "scene" I mean you attend workshops, go to munches, have kinky friends, attend play parties... that sort of thing. I ask because I've noticed a pretty startling difference in safety standards online vs. the people I know - it seems as though a lot of kink safety "best practices" type stuff never gets communicated online, either because it's boring, because people get caught up in the fantasy of it, or because there's so much information online it can be difficult to sort out fantasy from reality.

I feel as though there really isn't a substitute for in-person instruction and membership in a community of experienced people willing to help you learn. So I was wondering - how many people on here are part of such a community in their area? If not, why?

(in reply to bloodquail)

Post #: 11

RE: How many of you are involved in an real life kink c... - 9/14/2008 1:30:17 PM

beargonewild

Posts: 22716
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline

I try to participate in the local BDSM groups and also helping a friend of mine organize a one day conference on Kink which is geared towards people who are curious and ones who want to have an opportunity to explore aspects which they normally wouldn't have.

My motives for doing so is to readily make available resources that are more accurate and to help demystify the negative reputation that WIITWD has among the general population. I take the stance that were are all adults with free thought and once offer the info, it is up to them to determine what is safe for them. Safety is a situation which applies differently to each of us and it is not for me to tell another that activity is or isn't. We have to determine that for ourselves....period.

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(in reply to YourhandMyAss)

Post #: 12

RE: How many of you are involved in an real life kink c... - 9/14/2008 1:42:38 PM

HarryVanWinkle

Posts: 1720
Joined: 5/8/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: bloodquail
I was just wondering how many people on here are part of a real life "scene" in addition to posting online. By "scene" I mean you attend workshops, go to munches, have kinky friends, attend play parties... that sort of thing. I ask because I've noticed a pretty startling difference in safety standards online vs. the people I know - it seems as though a lot of kink safety "best practices" type stuff never gets communicated online, either because it's boring, because people get caught up in the fantasy of it, or because there's so much information online it can be difficult to sort out fantasy from reality.

I feel as though there really isn't a substitute for in-person instruction and membership in a community of experienced people willing to help you learn. So I was wondering - how many people on here are part of such a community in their area? If not, why?

As one might guess from the tag line on my signature, I am very involved in the local community, both here in Tucson and as often as I can make it up there (which, alas, in this economy isn't very often anymore) in the Phoenix area as well.

The biggest difference I see between the real life community and the so called, "online community" is that people in the real life community are a lot more accepting of the differences between us. Meaning that I don't hear terms like, "REAL Dom" or "TRUE sub" anywhere near as often. And I don't see people in the real life community pronouncing rules about how others in the community should lead their lives and relationships.

True, all clubs which have play parties have rules about what is permitted and what is not, but these are concerned with the safety of the club and its members, not with the dynamics of their relationships.

(in reply to bloodquail)

Post #: 13

RE: How many of you are involved in an real life kink c... - 9/14/2008 1:46:07 PM

trappedinamuseum

Posts: 5066
Joined: 8/24/2006
Status: offline

I think you missed one:

I am not actively involved, but do attend some events.

I'm too busy to be to every workshop and munch here in dc, but I like to visit when I can.

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Don't come back for me.
Don't come back at all" - Jar of Hearts

(in reply to HarryVanWinkle)

Post #: 14

RE: How many of you are involved in an real life kink c... - 9/14/2008 1:50:18 PM

girlivy

Posts: 699
Joined: 7/6/2007
Status: offline

seldom workshops so far
a few munches
a few scene parties
an imbalance of vanila and kinky friends, working on that :)
not much of a public play person.

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(in reply to HarryVanWinkle)

Post #: 15

RE: How many of you are involved in an real life kink c... - 9/14/2008 2:35:03 PM

SoulPiercer

Posts: 374
Joined: 5/27/2007
Status: offline

I had been in involved in local groups before I moved here. I moved to Indiana 4 years ago. Apparently the group in Evansville is afraid of being "outted", thus they are very picky about who they allow to join.

So .. if you're a member of the Evansville, IN Munch Bunch, I'd really like some information. Trust me, your secret is safe with me. I have far more skeletons in my closet than any of you could possibly have.

_____________________________

Do you have any idea how many bones you have left for me to break? - Batman

(in reply to girlivy)

Post #: 16

RE: How many of you are involved in an real life kink c... - 9/14/2008 2:44:10 PM

Lynnxz

Posts: 4813
Joined: 10/3/2006
From: Atlanta
Status: offline

I pop in on the bigger conventions, but avoid play parties and munches like the plague.

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HBIC

(in reply to SoulPiercer)

Post #: 17

RE: How many of you are involved in an real life kink c... - 9/14/2008 11:33:12 PM

cravesdom

Posts: 5219
Joined: 3/28/2008
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline

I have many kinky friends, but don't really consider that being active in the real life kink community. I am interested in becoming somewhat active, but just haven't taken that step yet.

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Finally home where I belong.

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(in reply to Lynnxz)

Post #: 18

RE: How many of you are involved in an real life kink c... - 9/14/2008 11:40:21 PM

tsatske

Posts: 2037
Joined: 3/9/2007
From: Louisville, KY
Status: offline

Soul Piercer,
I am answering directly on the thread because of a CM bug that does not allow me to mail out through CM. If you wish to take this conversation private, please either email me here at CM on the other side with contact info to email you, or read the end of my profile (or Masters) to email us otherwhere.
We are both active members of the Evensville group. We like the group enough that we drive for over an hour every month for the munch, somewhat farther for parties, which are reasonably frequent.
I have been active in the lifestyle in other cities and other places and I admit that there are some rules and procedures for joining our munch, that i did not see in some bigger cities, but if you can manage to put up with that, i have found the group to be warm and open to newcommers.
if you join the yahoo open group you will get monthly mailings reminding you that the munch is comming up so you can attend. The munch is coming up this coming Sat. If you mail Master or me, we will scare up the info to direct you both to where to join the 'open' mailing list, and where the munch is. We would be delighted to meet you at the munch, if you need a (i certainly hope i am, anyways...) friendly face there. And, I would always be delighted to penpall with you, as well.

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(in reply to cravesdom)

Post #: 19

RE: How many of you are involved in an real life kink c... - 9/15/2008 4:42:01 AM

SoulPiercer

Posts: 374
Joined: 5/27/2007
Status: offline

Thank you very much.

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Do you have any idea how many bones you have left for me to break? - Batman

(in reply to tsatske)

Post #: 20

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