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Don't want to seem pushy - 9/14/2008 6:06:16 PM   
underlimited


Posts: 34
Joined: 9/8/2006
Status: offline 		Just yesterday I met a Professional Dominant Female. I picked Her out from among all the other Dommes for these reasons (She is very little known, She has a journal in which She writes about Her travels and Dominating through everyday life).
So we session, but we end up doing almost none of the things i asked for (and i told Her i don't insist on them), and that i'd rather get to know Her and please Her. So instead we talked and i gave Her a long massage, because that's what She wanted. That was better than what i expected
At one point i ask Her "Would You consider a personal slave". Then She mentioned i would be good for cuckold and few other things. She said "Yeah, you impressed me, i'd consider it, i will think about it".
So we talked some more about Her writing and everything, and finally the session was over, and at the end She said "Ok, i'll definitely be in touch".

Now, my dilemma is this. This was yesterday, and i still haven't heard from Her. She said She will "think about it, and also that She will be in touch". i am assuming She should first e-mail me, yes?
Well i am so mesmerized by Her, i want to try and find out what She is thinking, or considering. How do i approach this further?
i was thinking about sending a simple Thank You e-mail, but i don't know when, or whether i should (don't want to seem pushy)!?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Don't want to seem pushy - 9/14/2008 6:08:12 PM   
faerytattoodgirl


Posts: 5824
Status: offline 		its been less than 24 hours..... WAIT.

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RE: Don't want to seem pushy - 9/14/2008 6:10:39 PM   
MsStarlett


Posts: 1879
Joined: 12/23/2007
Status: offline 		Thank you notes that are in good taste are not pushy, and frequently are greatly appreciated.  It's a polite thing to do.  Just a nice "Thank you.  I enjoyed myself.  (expand on what you enjoyed if you want, but don't get sexual.)  Looking forward to hearing from you."   Might just go a long way.

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RE: Don't want to seem pushy - 9/14/2008 9:06:11 PM   
khem


Posts: 300
Joined: 8/8/2005
Status: offline 		I think a brief written thank you note (either snail mail or email if that's all you have) is appropriate.  Something along the lines of "thank you so much for a lovely afternoon.  It was a joy getting to know you and I'd love an opportunity to spend time with you in the future" 

Not pushy, just polite.



(in reply to MsStarlett)
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RE: Don't want to seem pushy - 9/14/2008 9:31:40 PM   
RichieB


Posts: 87
Joined: 8/30/2008
Status: offline 		Give her at least 2 days to think about it.

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RE: Don't want to seem pushy - 9/14/2008 10:25:54 PM   
Jasmyn


Posts: 1234
Joined: 2/6/2004
From: New Zealand
Status: offline 		You have spent time with her, so you must know how to contact her offline, don't send an email ... send her something direct, a thank you card or similar  ...something simple ..even just a single flower in her letterbox with a note saying something along the lines of what Khem wrote

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RE: Don't want to seem pushy - 9/15/2008 3:42:41 AM   
Sylverdawn


Posts: 1123
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Yeah Im not so much on hand delivering something that is a little stalkerquese for me.. a simplylovely thank you note with postage stamp send it express ... go to a shop that has expensive high dollar paper.. and in your best hand writing... sign your name .. the card saying thank you is enough.. she willget the point.. and if she is interested contact you..

Ps make sure your return and contact information is contained on the card..SD

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RE: Don't want to seem pushy - 9/15/2008 7:25:00 AM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline 		This is going to sound negative but she is a professional, her time with you was a job. I won't allow myself to get caught up in fantasies that it might become something else because that may very likely be a set up for deep disappointment.

Instead just send her a nice "thank you; I'd like to book another appointment" letter/card.

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Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

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Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

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RE: Don't want to seem pushy - 9/15/2008 7:27:42 AM   
Lynnxz


Posts: 4813
Joined: 10/3/2006
From: Atlanta
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: thetammyjo

This is going to sound negative but she is a professional, her time with you was a job. I won't allow myself to get caught up in fantasies that it might become something else because that may very likely be a set up for deep disappointment.

Instead just send her a nice "thank you; I'd like to book another appointment" letter/card.


I don't know... he may have a chance. I tend to discourage any 'personal slave' comments, as do the pro dommes I know. It may just be a business tactic though- you are right. I'd think that would cause a lot of clingy drama- but who knows. ^_^


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RE: Don't want to seem pushy - 9/15/2008 7:29:31 AM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lynnxz

quote:

ORIGINAL: thetammyjo

This is going to sound negative but she is a professional, her time with you was a job. I won't allow myself to get caught up in fantasies that it might become something else because that may very likely be a set up for deep disappointment.

Instead just send her a nice "thank you; I'd like to book another appointment" letter/card.


I don't know... he may have a chance. I tend to discourage any 'personal slave' comments, as do the pro dommes I know. It may just be a business tactic though- you are right. I'd think that would cause a lot of clingy drama- but who knows. ^_^



He already asked, the ball is in her court, I think his fantasizing about it and mentioning it to her again is just setting himself up for hurt feelings and the potential loss of a good professional session from time to time when he can afford it.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to Lynnxz)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Don't want to seem pushy - 9/15/2008 7:42:28 AM   
Sylverdawn


Posts: 1123
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		I agree with Tammy Jo..see may have been unable to handle the awkward moment.. or she may have been sincerely interested in the moment and decided differently later or whatever etctera or so on who the hell knows... a nice note simply saying thank you.. reminds her of his interest and if after a week or two .. he has to decide if he wants a pro relationship and pay for her time

SD

_____________________________

“When women are depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. It's a whole different way of thinking.” Elyane Boosler

Being a women is hard work Maya Angelou

(in reply to thetammyjo)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Don't want to seem pushy - 9/15/2008 8:07:07 AM   
AAkasha


Posts: 4429
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline
If she was interested in a *personal* relationship with you, she'd get in touch with you. She is a capable woman, I am sure.

Asking a professional dominatrix in a paid session is there is a potential for a non paying relationship is awkward and inappropriate. What else is she going to say? "Hell no"?  She was telling you a fantasy as part of your paid session. If she is avoiding you, she's uncomfortable and may not want to see you again in a professional setting either.

If she has the hots for you, she will contact you.

Akasha


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(in reply to underlimited)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Don't want to seem pushy - 9/15/2008 8:13:42 AM   
BellaAmor


Posts: 3
Joined: 10/4/2006
Status: offline 		I would definately with faery and say wait it out as well.

The 6'2 Black Domina

(in reply to AAkasha)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Don't want to seem pushy - 9/15/2008 9:43:54 AM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		Gracious thank you notes are never pushy.  But, she is not your DATE, so there is no reason for her to pounce on the phone to call you. 

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RE: Don't want to seem pushy - 9/15/2008 11:24:02 AM   
Steponme73


Posts: 552
Joined: 11/9/2007
Status: offline 		She is a Professional.  She knows what she is doing.  She knows how to get in touch with you if she so desires.  I would wait a couple of days if she has not responded, I would email her a quick "Thank you" for a great time note.  If she does not respond...look elsewhere.

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RE: Don't want to seem pushy - 9/15/2008 3:24:13 PM   
wimpslave2


Posts: 6
Joined: 8/11/2008
Status: offline 		Yes i would say send a thank you email in a few day :D and then if she does want to as her slave she will email you back saying so

Thank you
wimpslave

< Message edited by wimpslave2 -- 9/15/2008 3:25:14 PM >

(in reply to Steponme73)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Don't want to seem pushy - 9/15/2008 7:45:14 PM   
underlimited


Posts: 34
Joined: 9/8/2006
Status: offline 		Okay, either way, a thank-you note it is.

I was thinking about that, whether my question made Her uncomfortable. But really, from this point, we can't tell. She may have really considered it, or She may have said "i will think about it" to avoid the awkward moment. i did propose the idea in the way that doesn't sound like a question and would give initiative to Her: "If You'd want to dwell into a personal relationship, i'd be interested".

Whether it is appropriate, is entirely different topic. i am not interested in an ongoing professional relationship, thus if i lose out on potential session, makes no difference to me. i went to see Her with one goal in mind, and if we are not compatible, i see no loss there.

(in reply to wimpslave2)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Don't want to seem pushy - 9/15/2008 7:56:15 PM   
Lynnxz


Posts: 4813
Joined: 10/3/2006
From: Atlanta
Status: offline 		Well if you see no loss in not seeing her again, I'd say you should skip the thankyou note all together. ;)


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RE: Don't want to seem pushy - 9/15/2008 9:49:21 PM   
undergroundsea


Posts: 2400
Joined: 6/27/2004
From: Austin, TX
Status: offline 		I see a thank you note to be independent of any follow up on the question. That is, I think the thank you note can be sent regardless of the other matter. And I think it would have been fine to send the thank you note even the next day.

As for how long to give her to think about it, I think a day is too short and that even a week of time is fine.

Cheers,

Sea

(in reply to Lynnxz)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Don't want to seem pushy - 9/16/2008 4:34:11 AM   
MsCfromMelbourne


Posts: 777
Joined: 2/15/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: underlimited

i went to see Her with one goal in mind, and if we are not compatible, i see no loss there.



I have known professional dominatrices who enjoy collecting interesting and attractive friends from the kink community, including extra charming clients.

Dinner parties in their dungeons can be hilariously good fun.....and you just might meet Someone Special in her circle of friends.

I have never been a pro-domme, but I have met some fantastic submissive men by being nice to pro-dommes.  A thank you note would not hurt. 




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