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RE: Why Does Money Make a Lifestyle Domme "Not Rea... - 11/30/2005 7:00:53 AM   
FTopinMichigan


Posts: 571
Joined: 7/5/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadySonelle

Well, I got it again in IM. I talked to a prospective sub, told him to read My free online lessons, see My website, view My lifestyle as I put it out there, I invited him to come and do a session with Me. Free of charge. I play for the sheer love of it. Then he asked Me "What type of slaves are you searching for?" and I replied "I need a driver, a maid and I am also looking for financial slaves." to which he responded "Then you aren't real! Bye!"

So is that the riff? (% % free and 5% pay makes Me a fake? After 25 years it's a bit of a shock. he was getting EVERYTHING free! Everything. I hadn't even ASKED him to be a financial slave! But the instant I mentioned that I am seeking SOME financial slaves, he fled!

OK, What the H IS it with males and their sacred WALLETS?!! Whipe their backs, kick their genitalia, squeeze their nipples, even do WAS and scat and they lap it up. Mention that you do also sometimes play with financial and suddenly I'm a TROLLOP?!


You want a financial slave. He does not want to BE a financial slave.

You enjoy what you do and know who you are, and feel "real" (whatever that may mean to you). He doesn't see you as "real."

What's the problem?

Different perspectives. I don't get why either of you would be upset by the contact. Happens all the time.

I will add that I'm tired of men approaching me as if I'm a Pro, or someone seeking financial gain. I find it insulting...and yet you find it desirable, as well as necessary.

Different perspectives.
K

(in reply to LadySonelle)
Profile   Post #: 61
RE: Why Does Money Make a Lifestyle Domme "Not Rea... - 11/30/2005 7:50:07 AM   
RosaB


Posts: 852
Joined: 1/10/2005
Status: offline 		This is the essesence of what some of us mean, not that we all want money, just knowing you care and think of us. Just showing that you genuinly have fondly thought of us and show it in small ways makes some women melt inside and will take you far in the relationship. The it things are nice too, but the littliest pleasantires mean just as much if not more.

Also, In the question posted by the OP, If I'm clear, I don't believe she was asking this particular guy for money, she was just letting him know that she does have subs/slaves that were of the of the financial kind, not necessarily that he was going to be such. It sounded to me like she was just explaning the many types of relationships she had over all. I could be wrong. I would of course agree that it would be wrong to require someone to take on that roll after the fact. All things should be up front from the get go...................Rosa
---------------------------------------------------

quote:

Every relationship i have ever been in with a women, i bought her gifts. In fact i often buy gifts for women i am not in a relationship with, because i know women like to get stuff. Basic Women 101 to me. They like to get stuff, they like to think you have thought about them and they like to be wined and dined. It doesn't have to be expensive, just something that says "hey, i was walking through the store and saw that and thought about YOU today" or "i saw this rock in the park and it was shaped like a heart and it made me think of YOU" and yes i have brought home a rock and she loved it. If i ever went to a pro domme, i would expect to be charged, just like if i went to the barber shop for a hair cut, i would expect to be charged. If i dated a pro domme, i would expect to give her presents, just like if i dated a hair dresser, i would expect to give her presents. Women are women and you will never change that....but when they look up and smile at you, you know they are worth the effort.

(in reply to orfunboi)
Profile   Post #: 62
RE: Why Does Money Make a Lifestyle Domme "Not Rea... - 11/30/2005 10:26:23 AM   
AAkasha


Posts: 4429
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: orfunboi


quote:

ORIGINAL: imtempting

Yes but to make a discussion we need oposing views. I just seem to have an opposing view on alot of matters.

My wallet is not off limits, I just refuse to have to buy gifts or Tributes as people use in the lifestyle or pay them money to play.

Being in a relationship and playing games is two different matters.



Every relationship i have ever been in with a women, i bought her gifts. In fact i often buy gifts for women i am not in a relationship with, because i know women like to get stuff. Basic Women 101 to me. They like to get stuff, they like to think you have thought about them and they like to be wined and dined. It doesn't have to be expensive, just something that says "hey, i was walking through the store and saw that and thought about YOU today" or "i saw this rock in the park and it was shaped like a heart and it made me think of YOU" and yes i have brought home a rock and she loved it. If i ever went to a pro domme, i would expect to be charged, just like if i went to the barber shop for a hair cut, i would expect to be charged. If i dated a pro domme, i would expect to give her presents, just like if i dated a hair dresser, i would expect to give her presents. Women are women and you will never change that....but when they look up and smile at you, you know they are worth the effort.





I think this is a pretty clear way to think of it. Sub men on the Internet have to realize you are facing a "barrier to entry" when it comes to getting any femdoms attention to consider you on any serious level. Why? Because she's getting dozens of men trying to contact her or get her attention. That's just the reality of the Internet.

When "men" face this challenge in the real world, they overcome it by courting. How do they court a woman? How does a fairly plain guy in high school get the most popular girl to notice him when she has the entire football team courting her and is bombarded with attention? He does things like buy flowers, get her a gift that shows he is sincere, makes her a 'special mix" cd, leaves a surprise in her locker.

If you are the best looking guy in the room and have the best package to offer (a stable job, a high intellect, charm and wit, romantic insight, a nice body), then your mere presence might stand alone. Or, if you are "in demand" -- she might come knocking on YOUR door (yes, you can be "in demand" even on the net -- by becoming known by your postings and desired by the women that read you and think, "Hmm, he's really got it together.)

Of course you can make yourself stand out by courting through means that require absolutely NO money at all, but most men are too lazy to put the time into it, and the fact that this is the Internet make a lot of things impossible -- like hand picking flowers or leaving a single rose on her windshield wiper with a handwritten note. When given the choice, often a practical answer is to BUY something, not handmake it.

See the point in courting? (This is addressed to the men who grumble about the idea of spending any money at all).

The other way to look at this is from the femdom's POV. If a femdom is receiving 100 requests for attention and all men offer the same thing: devotion, honesty, willingness to do anything (blah blah blah) how is she going to narrow that pool down to a reasonable number? The most effective way is to make a man DO something that shows he isn't all talk. Sadly, that usually involves cash. The problem is that most men think that ALL women that do this are just scamming for money (many are, of course). There are a great many women that aren't. One way to find out is to get a sense of what she does for a living if she isn't a pro femdom -- is she unemployed? Is she "between jobs"? Do your research.

Akasha

_____________________________

Akasha's Web - All original Femdom content since 1995
Don't email me here, email me at [email protected]

(in reply to orfunboi)
Profile   Post #: 63
RE: Why Does Money Make a Lifestyle Domme "Not Rea... - 11/30/2005 11:02:21 AM   
AbstractSavant


Posts: 149
Joined: 6/5/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: imtempting

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika

quote:

Guess what guys? A classy vanilla gentleman does this stuff automatically; it's what keeps the women swooning. It's not the cash, it's the attention to detail.


I agree and this needs to be repeated until it sinks into people's heads!

- LA


Well guess what people. A classy girl would not ask well demand the guy buy her these things but let him buy them when he thinks the mood is right.

Perhaps people could be more open in their profiles about what they want.



Ugh. If I didn't drop hints or point things out when shopping, my boyfriend would never come home with anything, even when the mood requires it. He is so not a romantic.

(in reply to imtempting)
Profile   Post #: 64
RE: Why Does Money Make a Lifestyle Domme "Not Rea... - 11/30/2005 11:22:18 AM   
afmvdp


Posts: 494
Joined: 7/10/2004
Status: offline 		Wow, leave for a few months and it's the same old topics all over again.

Simple fact is that many look at things differently when money is involved. To them that choose to submit with their heart and soul, don't expect that to be barted, bought or sold. They have a desire to be taken in as a sub, slave, whatever and expect to be treated as such. To them using the word financial and slave in the same context is self-defeating because there could never be a true connection between someone who cares only for your dollars and not you as an individual entity, as I would assume that in your mind is a Money slave stopped paying, then they stopped serving.

It is fine that you seek to be a tributary, that is your personal choice and there are those who are willing and even desiring to pay tribute, but you have to expect that some are not going to have a desire to enter into that type of arrangement.

You have to understand that to many of the more naive male subs out there, they have tendancies to mistake the role intended for them when they enter into being a money slave and they equate that if they pay you, then you will love them or at the very least care about them. As a whole though, for many Pros, male or female, this is rarely the case. So even if you might happen to be in the rare that desire tribute but actually desire a relationship as well with those offering tribute rather than a simple pay me and then go to hell until you're ready to pay me again; you have to realize that those that have been taken advantage of are not often going to forget their wounds and give it another go.

Also, perhaps you are unaware, but there are in fact MANY money dom/mes who are indeed actual fakes whether by guise of the internet or in actual life. Those that use the pictures of others and pretend to be someone they are not or simply seek out slaves purely in the hope of tricking them out of money. So again, it's not exactly the most respected class for slaves to desire to be in.

Mind you that real-life pros who are in sessions as opposed to those purely online are often regarded with FAR more respect.

(in reply to FTopinMichigan)
Profile   Post #: 65
RE: Why Does Money Make a Lifestyle Domme "Not Rea... - 11/30/2005 1:47:57 PM   
imtempting


Posts: 1280
Joined: 2/11/2005
Status: offline 		Yea but thats him. As everyone says to me on these boards. Dont generalise everyone into one group. Everyone aguing that man are all selfish and dont know how to please women are being greatly sexist.

Face it.. You want to try to set a standard that males will buy tributes or presenets whenever the dommes feel like it.

Funny enough. I dont see this problem with male dominants. MAybe the appreciate the fact that the submissive is serving them and that in turn is how the feel appreciated. By being obeyed.

Also I said I know all this about relationships so I would not get bombarded with posts saying you have to do this in a relationship.

(in reply to AbstractSavant)
Profile   Post #: 66
RE: Why Does Money Make a Lifestyle Domme "Not Rea... - 11/30/2005 1:52:41 PM   
AbstractSavant


Posts: 149
Joined: 6/5/2005
Status: offline 		I'll say this, I think people of both sexes and all BDSM orientations should make with the gifting. Random gifts, even cheap or free ones speak VOLUMES about thoughtfulness.

And I don't ever think it should be wrong to hint about or ask for gifts in a polite way.

As for dommes...if they're up front about it and their submissive is interested in that kind of relationship?

So be it. There's something for everyone.

(in reply to imtempting)
Profile   Post #: 67
RE: Why Does Money Make a Lifestyle Domme "Not Rea... - 11/30/2005 3:57:50 PM   
PatentLeatherMdm


Posts: 17
Joined: 8/26/2005
Status: offline 		LadySonelle,

First, I have read postings from you in a variety of places, I am always impressed with your wit and grace!

I am a Lifestyle Domina who accepts tribute. Now whether that tribute amounts to your emotional and physical worship, I would expect that it include your devotion to My ENTIRE well-being! Yes, I love a good meal; yes, I love jewelry, yes, I love body worship; yes, I want your service, I want it ALL. I don't you to parcel it out to Me, feeding Me at your will.

To deny Me your full consideration merely displays that our relationship is conditional and you are not truly in service to Me, but merely going through the motions. If that was the case, then I would not be the Mistress, but your convenient lackey and perhaps only acting as a conduit for your sexual fantasy.

For those in service to Me, I EXPECT that level of attention. Call this Mistress and tell Her that you are delighted that you can say you serve Her; likewise, if you know this Mistress loves perfume, buy some; and if you know this Mistress loves her feet rubbed and kissed a certain way then do so as well. Your consideration for Me should know no reasonable limits, just as I am required to groom and train you in the lifestyle that we have both embraced!

We all know that submissives don't stay with a Mistress/Master who ultimately does not care for them or displays a lack of consideration for what it is they seek to gain through BDSM play!

And, yes, if this distinguishes Me; then so be it, because I wouldn't be happier living any other way. Afterall, ultimately, I'm only interested in being the Mistress I was meant to be!

(in reply to LadySonelle)
Profile   Post #: 68
RE: Why Does Money Make a Lifestyle Domme "Not Rea... - 11/30/2005 4:10:24 PM   
LadyAngelika


Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: imtempting
Yea but thats him. As everyone says to me on these boards. Dont generalise everyone into one group. Everyone aguing that man are all selfish and dont know how to please women are being greatly sexist.


I agree with imtempting on this level. Not all men are useless in this area. And really, it is not about money. I got a simple card in the mail today with the sweetest little note inside and I tell you it is worth way more then a million dollars...

- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to imtempting)
Profile   Post #: 69
RE: Why Does Money Make a Lifestyle Domme "Not Rea... - 11/30/2005 4:18:44 PM   
FangsNfeet


Posts: 3758
Joined: 12/3/2004
Status: offline 		Instead of ppl calling themselves Pro Dom/Domme, having the term Pro Sadist would be more suited for the task.

_____________________________

I'm Godzilla and you're Japan

(in reply to LadySonelle)
Profile   Post #: 70
RE: Why Does Money Make a Lifestyle Domme "Not Rea... - 11/30/2005 7:48:31 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		But not all the services we provide are sadistic in nature......... many are not, in fact.

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]



(in reply to FangsNfeet)
Profile   Post #: 71
RE: Why Does Money Make a Lifestyle Domme "Not Rea... - 11/30/2005 8:05:23 PM   
LadyAngelika


Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: FangsNfeet
Instead of ppl calling themselves Pro Dom/Domme, having the term Pro Sadist would be more suited for the task.


So is this your new theory you are going to post in every thread.

As I said in the other thread where you proposed this same notion, this argument doesn't hold because not all domination includes sadism.

- LA





_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to FangsNfeet)
Profile   Post #: 72
RE: Why Does Money Make a Lifestyle Domme "Not Rea... - 12/1/2005 1:39:07 PM   
SweetDommes


Posts: 3313
Joined: 10/5/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: imtempting

Yea but thats him. As everyone says to me on these boards. Dont generalise everyone into one group. Everyone aguing that man are all selfish and dont know how to please women are being greatly sexist.

Face it.. You want to try to set a standard that males will buy tributes or presenets whenever the dommes feel like it.

Funny enough. I dont see this problem with male dominants. MAybe the appreciate the fact that the submissive is serving them and that in turn is how the feel appreciated. By being obeyed.

Also I said I know all this about relationships so I would not get bombarded with posts saying you have to do this in a relationship.


Perhaps the reason that you don't see "this problem" with Doms is because they don't all get flooded with dozens of submissives (male and female, btw, we had as much trouble with femsubs as male subs) trying to get their attention.

You claim that you know "all this about relationships," so why are you deliberately ignoring what Akasha has to say about why some people ask for tribute? Not to mention that you have gotten WAY off the original topic with this. You are on an old tirade for you (thus the reference I made to previous posts that you have made ... we've heard all of this from you before), and it really isn't appropriate to this topic.

This thread wasn't about how she was asking someone for money, it was that she mentioned she does have/would like to have financial slaves and then she got called a fake. She never asked this guy for money, she never suggested that he would be put on the list of financial slaves, or even potential financial slaves. People jump to conclusions and usually end up landing in some really smell stuff when they stop jumping.

(in reply to imtempting)
Profile   Post #: 73
RE: Why Does Money Make a Lifestyle Domme "Not Rea... - 12/1/2005 11:09:31 PM   
imtempting


Posts: 1280
Joined: 2/11/2005
Status: offline 		Well in that case of myself saying it then you may aswell close collarme as most threads would of been said. This topic would of been raised plenty of times in different letters but same meanings.

(in reply to SweetDommes)
Profile   Post #: 74
RE: Why Does Money Make a Lifestyle Domme "Not Rea... - 12/2/2005 3:14:41 PM   
Sunshine119


Posts: 611
Joined: 8/8/2005
Status: offline 		I think there is a real difference between Pro "Topping" and being a Domme who wants to have a D/s or M/s relationship. We need to recognize that there is a distinct difference between the following activities : One is the occupation and one is the lifestyle.

Men don't Pro Dom. Why? Because there is no real demand for it for anyone except National or International experts in the field. But there are too many male submissives to ever be in a relationship with a Female Domme. So there is a supply and demand set up. Consequently, where there is a business opportunity, I see nothing wrong with a woman taking that opportunity. Mix it up with a relationship desire and everything gets jumbled.

Where and when relationships of a D/s or M/s nature occur in a 24/7, live in situation, often both (or more) parties work outside the home. Everyone contributes to the maintenance of the household (mortgage, food, utilities, clothes, play, etc). At this point, many Domme's get what they need without asking for it. And BTW, when this occurs, male Doms are in some way accepting tribute too. They no longer have to bear the full brunt of paying all the household expenses.

It almost would make sense for those looking for an occupation in Domination (ie Pro Dommes) to have two profiles. One would be for seeking a relationship. There you immediately could sort out those men who want to be "taken care of", and discard them as any person seeking a mate might and also screen them for attributes you would like a submissive/slave to have. The other, the professional profile, is not confusing in any way. You offer a service. State a price. Close the deal.

As far as gifts are concerned? Everyone I know, male and female alike, enjoy getting gifts. Every dominant and submissive loves getting them from their partner. It's a way of saying "I was thinking of you". As stated by others, it doesn't need to be expensive, but it does require thought. The best men I have known have done this without a hint and others need to be hit on the head with a 2 x 4. But there are women I know too, who don't think it appropriate to buy gifts for men. Too bad. Its just one little way we can say we care.


(in reply to imtempting)
Profile   Post #: 75
RE: Why Does Money Make a Lifestyle Domme "Not Rea... - 12/2/2005 3:24:36 PM   
veronicaofML


Posts: 1317
Joined: 11/19/2005
From: from iowa..now in wisconsin
Status: offline 		ORIGINAL: AAkasha
==============

this is a first.

i actually agreed on all of the post.


_____________________________

drugs sex and rock n roll,...drugs are good and so is the rock n roll, sex is over rated"
=============
"go straight to hell, do not pass go and do not collect $200"



(in reply to AAkasha)
Profile   Post #: 76
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