quote:

ORIGINAL: BeachBear

I am a male submissive who is in a new area of the country, with a new Domme, and find myself is a wierd, touchy situation. I guess some background is in order.

I am one of "those" people who are cursed with being not only a submissive, but a rabid extrovert as well. In all of the D/s relationships that I have been in, over three decades, I have wound up being the one who gets contacted when a play party gets set up, did the general coordinating for our activity schedule... you get the idea. Yes, protocol usually dictates that one Domme contacts another, and things get set, but often real life interferes with protocol (eh?).

Flash forward. I have been with my new Domme for about 45 days. She has been established in the area for quite sometime, but is a bit of a social introvert. When we interveiwed, she seemed delighted to have someone that would present a great public face, who would stay active in our social contacts, create new ones, start packing the calendar. Well, I did my "job". Last night the conversation went something like this:

"Ma'am, we have three private play parties that we are invited to, in addition to the munches this weekend, and we can only make two. Care to take a look and see which one we "can't make"?".

"This bothers me.".

"Ma'am?".

"You received these invitations, not me".

"Ma'am, these are all Dommes that you have approved me corresponding with, and all invitations, either telephonic, text, or email were aimed at the two of us".

"They should have been sent to me, but they were sent to you. Think about it, Pet. I have been in the area for years, you show up and in 45 days, we are "popular". Clearly they are fishing for you, not interested in me.".

"Ma'am? Bullshit. They were sent to both of us. They were "addressed" to me because I'm the dipshit that spends two hours a day on email with them, and talks to them (incessantly) on the phone. If you were a motormouth extrovert, like your Pet, it would be you that fielded the invite. I just happened to be the one near "the mail box" when they arrived".

"I'll go, but I'm not happy, *I* should have been invited and asked to bring my Pet, not the reverse...".

Ok. I can start to respond to all invites and inquiries with the protocol fallback "This lowly sub can't receive invitations, please forward any interest to Domina "X"", and pray that someone, (anyone!) follows through. I cannot and will not make my Domina seem wonky within her own community by communicating back channel that we have an insecurity issue, and would they please make her feel good by sending the invite to her (?). I know that left to her introverted devices, the calendar will become blank again, and that is something that she specifically doesn't want to happen, she is really enjoying the activity.

I know, some pretty minor shit in the big scheme, but hoping a Domme can help me keep my Domme happy

quote:

ORIGINAL: BeachBear
Ok. I can start to respond to all invites and inquiries with the protocol fallback "This lowly sub can't receive invitations, please forward any interest to Domina "X"", and pray that someone, (anyone!) follows through.

quote:

ORIGINAL: onceburned

quote:

ORIGINAL: BeachBear
Ok. I can start to respond to all invites and inquiries with the protocol fallback "This lowly sub can't receive invitations, please forward any interest to Domina "X"", and pray that someone, (anyone!) follows through.

Perhaps not simply pray that they follow through, but expect that they follow through... and remind them (gently) if they fail to do so.

I think it is good that you do not want to embarass your Domina by telling others that you consider her to be insecure. Perhaps you might want to take it a step further and try to actively make her look good to others. Deflect praise and attention from you to her - give her credit when people thank you. Make it clear to others how much she has improved your life. Make her shine.

If you think she is too insecure and this has limited her, maybe you could gently help her to overcome those barriers. Nudge her into interaction. Keep the spotlight on her, rather than you.

quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha

quote:

ORIGINAL: BeachBear

I am a male submissive who is in a new area of the country, with a new Domme, and find myself is a wierd, touchy situation. I guess some background is in order.

I am one of "those" people who are cursed with being not only a submissive, but a rabid extrovert as well. In all of the D/s relationships that I have been in, over three decades, I have wound up being the one who gets contacted when a play party gets set up, did the general coordinating for our activity schedule... you get the idea. Yes, protocol usually dictates that one Domme contacts another, and things get set, but often real life interferes with protocol (eh?).

Flash forward. I have been with my new Domme for about 45 days. She has been established in the area for quite sometime, but is a bit of a social introvert. When we interveiwed, she seemed delighted to have someone that would present a great public face, who would stay active in our social contacts, create new ones, start packing the calendar. Well, I did my "job". Last night the conversation went something like this:

"Ma'am, we have three private play parties that we are invited to, in addition to the munches this weekend, and we can only make two. Care to take a look and see which one we "can't make"?".

"This bothers me.".

"Ma'am?".

"You received these invitations, not me".

"Ma'am, these are all Dommes that you have approved me corresponding with, and all invitations, either telephonic, text, or email were aimed at the two of us".

"They should have been sent to me, but they were sent to you. Think about it, Pet. I have been in the area for years, you show up and in 45 days, we are "popular". Clearly they are fishing for you, not interested in me.".

"Ma'am? Bullshit. They were sent to both of us. They were "addressed" to me because I'm the dipshit that spends two hours a day on email with them, and talks to them (incessantly) on the phone. If you were a motormouth extrovert, like your Pet, it would be you that fielded the invite. I just happened to be the one near "the mail box" when they arrived".

"I'll go, but I'm not happy, *I* should have been invited and asked to bring my Pet, not the reverse...".

Ok. I can start to respond to all invites and inquiries with the protocol fallback "This lowly sub can't receive invitations, please forward any interest to Domina "X"", and pray that someone, (anyone!) follows through. I cannot and will not make my Domina seem wonky within her own community by communicating back channel that we have an insecurity issue, and would they please make her feel good by sending the invite to her (?). I know that left to her introverted devices, the calendar will become blank again, and that is something that she specifically doesn't want to happen, she is really enjoying the activity.

I know, some pretty minor shit in the big scheme, but hoping a Domme can help me keep my Domme happy

Why are you spending two hours a day online with them and talking incessantly on the phone with them?

Akasha

quote:

ORIGINAL: JohnWarren

First off I would not take kindly to any submissive telling me what I was saying to them was "Bullshit."

That taken care of, Libby and I make it very clear to people that invitations should be sent to both of us. Snailmail can come in one envelope but there should be two of them and email should go to each of our email addresses.

quote:

ORIGINAL: MHOO314

and the invite was a slight, I would have expected My sub to turn to Me and say Mistress, your thoughts please---

quote:

ORIGINAL: MHOO314

I agree completely, She either does the social thing, or lets you do it, its a damn invite--I can't tell you how many vanilla invites I get addressed to Mr! and there is no Mr.--a sub needs to look after his Domme as much as She looks after him----who cares, when Y/you get to the party there will be no question Who owns whom--after the first few, the protocol will set in---now the chatting 2 hours a day with a Domme, hmm I have issue with that one, if its a medical procedure, meet in a coffee shop with Ms permission.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyJulieAnn

If your Mistress feels that she should receive all future invitations, then that change should be made for all future social events.

I think it would be important to determine whether she is bothered by the fact that you are the primary person corresponding with other Dommes or that you are the one receiving more attention. I think the latter case might be cause for concern.

Be well,
Julie