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Such a thing as a crossdressing Dominant? - 11/29/2005 9:03:36 PM

newguy303

Posts: 3
Joined: 11/29/2005
Status: offline

Hi all, I'm new to both this forum and to the BDSM scene, but have a curious situation I'm trying to resolve. If nothing else, perhaps this will create some interesting conversation...

I've recently become involved with a woman who is very submissive in our role play, and not only have I taken to the dominant role, I enjoy it a great deal. My question is how to incorporate my interest in crossdressing. She has suggested that my curiousity about crossdressing doesn't bother her at all, but if I am going to introduce it into our activities, I want to do so in a way that doesn't undermine her respect for my dominant position. I know that crossdressing normally brings with it a submissive connotation, but that is not an interest of mine, and I want to avoid that impression. Has anyone ever heard of or been in a situation like this, or does anyone have any suggestions as to how to be a dominant AND a crossdresser in BDSM activities?

Thanks!

< Message edited by newguy303 -- 11/29/2005 9:07:16 PM >

Post #: 1

RE: Such a thing as a crossdressing dom? - 11/29/2005 9:07:22 PM

JohnWarren

Posts: 3807
Joined: 3/18/2005
From: Delray Beach, FL
Status: offline

It shouldn't have any effect on your play. After all a dom gets to do what a dom wants to do. You're no less dominant in panty hose and a blouse than you would be in a leather pants and vest.

_____________________________

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(in reply to newguy303)

Post #: 2

RE: Such a thing as a crossdressing Dominant? - 11/29/2005 9:14:29 PM

kisshou

Posts: 2425
Joined: 2/11/2005
Status: offline

Along with the clothing take on a dominant female role such as a schoolmistress or a mom type figure.

Speak softly and carry a big ruler ;)

< Message edited by kisshou -- 11/29/2005 9:15:10 PM >

(in reply to newguy303)

Post #: 3

RE: Such a thing as a crossdressing Dominant? - 11/29/2005 9:14:39 PM

sub4hire

Posts: 6775
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

I know a cross dressing dominant. Actually I know two of them in my local community. Which only lends me to believe there are thousands out there.

There is everything you can imagine within the community, also people you can't imagine. Meet enough people and nothing will surprise you anymore.

(in reply to newguy303)

Post #: 4

RE: Such a thing as a crossdressing Dominant? - 11/29/2005 9:24:07 PM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline

OK, profile not found............

Listen pansy,

You wanna whop a girls ass, and she wants you to?

Just do it.........

I don't think you will recieve a separate message from God.

This is gonna be just about it.

Ron
Suddenly Seymour.....is standing beside me.......

what could be slicker?

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to sub4hire)

Post #: 5

RE: Such a thing as a crossdressing Dominant? - 11/29/2005 9:59:03 PM

NakedOnMyChain

Posts: 2431
Joined: 11/29/2004
From: Indiana
Status: offline

One of my good friends is a part time drag queen that greatly enjoys cross dressing (not just in the drag scene). He is one of the most dominant men I've met. It doesn't interfere with his topping at all. Good luck!

_____________________________

"Oh, it's torture, but I'm almost there."
~The Cure

"I ask for so little. Just fear me, love me, do as I say, and I will be your slave."
~The Labyrinth

(in reply to newguy303)

Post #: 6

RE: Such a thing as a crossdressing Dominant? - 11/29/2005 10:21:18 PM

newguy303

Posts: 3
Joined: 11/29/2005
Status: offline

Thanks so much for the information, NakedonmyChain, Sub4hire, kisshou, and JohnWarren, I really appreciate that affimation that I can explore the two together. I figured it was a matter of my frame of mind, and have no doubt that I'll be controlling the situation, no matter what. But, what about specific themes, scenes, or outfits? I like the idea of school mistress, and for those who mentioned having friends who were cd/Doms, what other type of themes did they pursue or outfits did they choose? Is there a particular role or style that is especially conducive to the concept of a CD/Dom?

Thanks again!

< Message edited by newguy303 -- 11/29/2005 10:22:27 PM >

(in reply to NakedOnMyChain)

Post #: 7

RE: Such a thing as a crossdressing Dominant? - 11/29/2005 11:36:07 PM

SweetDommes

Posts: 3313
Joined: 10/5/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sub4hire

I know a cross dressing dominant. Actually I know two of them in my local community. Which only lends me to believe there are thousands out there.

There is everything you can imagine within the community, also people you can't imagine. Meet enough people and nothing will surprise you anymore.

I know one as well ... and I'm proud to call him (or her, depending on what is being worn at the time) a friend

and to the OP - don't suggest that his crossdressing lessens his dominance or he'll start taking chunks out of you just to prove it ... LOL

(in reply to sub4hire)

Post #: 8

RE: Such a thing as a crossdressing Dominant? - 11/29/2005 11:51:47 PM

Phoenxx

Posts: 253
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: Swift Current
Status: offline

We have a fairly strong cross dressers group here. One of my good friends Dom's his wife. But only as his male persona. when his female side comes out, there are girl friends.
And she is such a flirt LOL
Respect comes from trust. If you both teust each other enough to share your lives, there should be no problems.
Tony

(in reply to newguy303)

Post #: 9

RE: Such a thing as a crossdressing Dominant? - 11/30/2005 1:29:29 AM

Bone

Posts: 12
Joined: 4/8/2004
From: England, UK
Status: offline

One of mine is a male switch who enjoys cross-dressing - I actually find that he is more dominant when he is in tranny mode and the six-inch heels definately add to the effect.

There's also something quite frightening about the juxtaposition of leather thigh boots, a body-hugging rubber dress and a beard...

_____________________________

Pain and fear are merely weaknesses fleeing the body; let me give unto you the strength to do what is in your heart.

(in reply to Phoenxx)

Post #: 10

RE: Such a thing as a crossdressing Dominant? - 11/30/2005 2:20:19 AM

jamesthehumanrug

Posts: 668
Joined: 10/21/2005
Status: offline

greetings, newman,
yes a top woman,from harvard; long beautiful hair; gorgeous, put on mens' clothes, and ,a beard, to top me ,if i laffed, or did'nt like it ,or said be fem i prefer it ....she'd request i dress female ,and, go ,out, and, dance ,with her, and her ,as an obnoxious male brakedancing fool, in a red neck bar ,with me ,in drag.
i found ,out she was ,also an obnoxious bottom.
gaud: i thot she was talented ,till i found, out; she was a" bottom" ,so do ,
as you like ....,
but, be who you are ,and, get respect, from someone who likes you ,for who you are, with them is all i can say....,

at least i found ,out how ,to order a full face beard delivered ,to your door ;should i ever meet a real top ,and,do this,again, or a dom who wants ,to do the same.
turns ,out;she was ,really ,in love with a top musclebound lesbian , that i knew ,as a switch, and, a ,so called expert whipper, and, i was ,so ,upset i invented the saying ,in a dramatic dramalog,for the famous ad called
GOT MILK?!
(GOT RIPPED ,AND, PLAGIARIZED ,ON THIS, TOO)
CAUSE :
I THOT her musclebound lesbian-"top" who fancied herself ,as a sometimes bottom, aka "mudpuppy" (i know- sickening,but, it's one,of those things where you,just gotta' be there kinda'thing,to even catch-on....)
so i knew she could'nt be a 'muscle-bound ' competing-bottom; switchee, IF:
she ran ,outta' milk...so i kept pausing ,with the big 'got milk' funny punchline and being a wise guy posing saying:.... got milk?? hey...got milk!? ya you!!!; you !! got milk?.!!...
OH STUPID ME

i know
....,JUST SAY SOMETHING...GET MORE PLAGIARIZED,or worse;be a slave and,
end up ,with somebodys' crossdressing-sub, for a mystery-date....

< Message edited by jamesthehumanrug -- 11/30/2005 2:54:17 AM >

_____________________________

I REMAIN RESPECTFULLY SUBMITTED
,LOVEles,
jamesthehumanrug

(in reply to newguy303)

Post #: 11

RE: Such a thing as a crossdressing Dominant? - 11/30/2005 3:02:32 AM

MHOO314

Posts: 3628
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline

Dominatrix

_____________________________

SLUTS: Southern Ladies Under Tremendous Stress...

Mistress Hathor

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Post #: 12

RE: Such a thing as a crossdressing Dominant? - 11/30/2005 5:45:59 AM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

Nope, there are doms out there who enjoy it, and foot worship and all sorts of other "typical sub fun things."

Of course, that doesn't mean there won't be tons of people who tell you that you aren't a dom because you do it.

(in reply to newguy303)

Post #: 13

RE: Such a thing as a crossdressing Dominant? - 11/30/2005 7:32:53 AM

Wildfleurs

Posts: 1650
Joined: 9/24/2004
From: Connecticut
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: newguy303

Hi all, I'm new to both this forum and to the BDSM scene, but have a curious situation I'm trying to resolve. If nothing else, perhaps this will create some interesting conversation...

I've recently become involved with a woman who is very submissive in our role play, and not only have I taken to the dominant role, I enjoy it a great deal. My question is how to incorporate my interest in crossdressing. She has suggested that my curiousity about crossdressing doesn't bother her at all, but if I am going to introduce it into our activities, I want to do so in a way that doesn't undermine her respect for my dominant position. I know that crossdressing normally brings with it a submissive connotation, but that is not an interest of mine, and I want to avoid that impression. Has anyone ever heard of or been in a situation like this, or does anyone have any suggestions as to how to be a dominant AND a crossdresser in BDSM activities?

Thanks!

I can't give you many ideas, but I can say that I've known a couple of cross dressing switches/tops and have seen them top while cross dressed. So I don't see any sort of effect on the play.

C~

_____________________________

"Just because you've always done it that way doesn't mean it's not incredibly stupid." -despair.com

~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
The heart of it all - http://www.wildfleurs.com
~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

(in reply to newguy303)

Post #: 14

RE: Such a thing as a crossdressing Dominant? - 11/30/2005 10:53:53 AM

afmvdp

Posts: 494
Joined: 7/10/2004
Status: offline

I can't really comprehend why a persons desire to dress like or become a different sex would have any relation to their ability to be Dominant or not.

Other than a misconcieved notion that someone having a desire to be feminine means they immediately have a desire to be submissive, I can't see why this would even be in question.

(in reply to Wildfleurs)

Post #: 15

RE: Such a thing as a crossdressing Dominant? - 11/30/2005 1:32:23 PM

RosaB

Posts: 852
Joined: 1/10/2005
Status: offline

OMGoodness, finally a CD that admits to not being submissive but is acutally Dominant. Thanks you. This just enforces what I've said so many times before about so many of the male CDs I've encountered, they were not one bit submissive other than to manipulate the situation to get their kink met.

There's not a darn thing wrong with it and I'm happy to see someone's broached the subject. Good for you Newguy, now that's a CD I could be attracted to. As mentioned, being a cross dresser does not equate to being submissive nor does it equate to being dominant. Sometimes it does sometimes it doesn't. It just annoys me when submission is used as a way to get the desire met. Just one of my little quirks.

So, I say bravo to you, enjoy those lacy panties and nylons; I hope you have lots of spanking good times when you take that lucky one over your knees.

Rosa

(in reply to afmvdp)

Post #: 16

RE: Such a thing as a crossdressing Dominant? - 11/30/2005 1:41:12 PM

AbstractSavant

Posts: 149
Joined: 6/5/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

Nope, there are doms out there who enjoy it, and foot worship and all sorts of other "typical sub fun things."

Of course, that doesn't mean there won't be tons of people who tell you that you aren't a dom because you do it.

Yes. Foot and ass worship...I've never had a sub into it. But all of my dominant partners have LOVED them.

But you're right, many will say that you are not a true dominant if you enjoy anything that could generally be labeled as a submissive act.

That's why I hate labels.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 17

RE: Such a thing as a crossdressing Dominant? - 11/30/2005 1:43:03 PM

TallDarkAndWitty

Posts: 1893
Joined: 6/12/2004
From: Rochester, NY
Status: offline

I shared a room with a x-dressing dominant at the last Black Rose.

No...seriously...I actually met him through CollarMe...

Taggard

_____________________________

A most rewarding compliment is an insult from the ill-informed.

My slave: Kat (RainaVerene on the other side) and her website: RainaVerene.com

(in reply to RosaB)

Post #: 18

RE: Such a thing as a crossdressing Dominant? - 11/30/2005 8:13:53 PM

HouseofBear

Posts: 1280
Joined: 2/9/2005
Status: offline

We know of one crossdresser who is a strong dominant and a fairly hard sadist as well, grinz. And he wears some extremely sexy outfits with complete confidence and carries them off well. Being feminine or enjoying femininity does not have to preclude dominance.

Lady Ursa

(in reply to TallDarkAndWitty)

Post #: 19

RE: Such a thing as a crossdressing Dominant? - 11/30/2005 8:15:18 PM

petwolf22

Posts: 343
Joined: 9/5/2005
Status: offline

i knew a dom who worked as both Mistress and Master depending on his mood. Have at it.

(in reply to newguy303)

Post #: 20

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