RE: The eroticism of a sub who desperately tries to please but can't

RE: The eroticism of a sub who desperately tries to please but can't (Full Version)

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CreativeDominant -> RE: The eroticism of a sub who desperately tries to please but can't (9/17/2008 12:11:32 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth ~ Fast Reply ~ Hang on a second... You mean there are sadists here setting up sadistic evil scenarios for their personal amusement at the expense and humiliation of their submissives who can in no way accomplish the task!? Sadists who are more impressed with the attempt than the given expectation of failure? Worse - There are submissives that are sooooo dedicated and desire to please their Dominant to the point of not caring how silly they look or how impossible the task - they just try their best? What the hell nonsense is being spread here? My goodness - Next people will start discussing occasions where people are being beat them with floggers, paddles and canes! How can anyone tolerate a such activity? Disgusting! I'm shocked! Shocked I say! Shocked & Appalled! Terrible thing, isn't it? I share your dismay. [8\|] quote: PS - Knew you couldn't stay away from the soap opera that is CM,[sm=welcomewave.gif]BACK Michael! See you next Friday!

CreativeDominant -> RE: The eroticism of a sub who desperately tries to please but can't (9/17/2008 12:19:13 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: simpleplan2 I happen to fall on the lighten up side of the fence also; however, CD, if this mythical dominant decides he's going to play his way "and how much time is devoted to that could be construed as the submissive controlling the way in which the dominant chooses to play...must explain to me first what is going on"...well, he may be standing there all by himself at the end of playtime, you know what in hand, saying. "but...but...but...I was just having fun." Certainly it's not all about protecting her fragile ego but HIS two brain cells should tell him that it might be wise to make it clear that this is play...that he doesn't really expect her to do something physically impossible... And I agree...up to a point...as I clearly noted. But there is a fine line between a brief outline of what I intend to do and a full-on description of the scene along with cautionary note about the possible ego-damage that may occur. Here's something I am pondering...if all it takes to frustrate a submissive, wound her sense of worth, make her feel like she is a failure, then...how good a job is the dominant doing outside of play...in the serious realm of D/s...to raise up her sense of self-esteem, to let her know that she doesn't fail him, that she is immensely pleasing to him, teaching and training ( I know, that dreaded word again) that sadism sometimes involves mental/emotional games as well as physical but that what is done is being done on the side of play and that the chances of a single event occurring there that would ruin the relationship are slim to none? Hmmmmmmmmmm...

simpleplan2 -> RE: The eroticism of a sub who desperately tries to please but can't (9/17/2008 12:22:38 PM)
I agree with you CD...all I am saying is given how many ppl seem to think this is setting up for failure or that this play would somehow affect their self esteem, dom in question should be sure that she KNOWS it's just for fun. Like I said in the beginning, I'm not one of those who stress if I can't do something...as long as I've done my best. But as you just pointed out...that falls to the dom.

subtee -> RE: The eroticism of a sub who desperately tries to please but can't (9/17/2008 12:23:48 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CreativeDominant full-on description of the scene Um...could we have that here? You know, just to parse what your exact meaning is?

IvyMorgan -> RE: The eroticism of a sub who desperately tries to please but can't (9/17/2008 12:27:08 PM)
In my head, there's a world of differenc between being told to lie still whilst tickled, and then chastised (in whatever way) for that, and being told I messed up making dinner/washing the car/doing some task he set. The first is very clearly playful, not to be taken seriously, something to try very hard at but we both know I'm going to burst out laughing eventually it's just a matter of when, and then we all collapse in a giggling heap together. The second is my family home. (Today I made dinner, and there should not have been baked potatoes, apparently, but mine was lovely and nice, and cooked just perfect, so there! Also, making corn was the wrong thing as we had lots of salad. And putting tomatoes in the salad was wrong becuase this ruins the leafy bits. Incidentally, the only thing that was right was the quiche, which my sister bought, so she could hardly criticise that. head desk There really is no pleasing some people.) The first is fun, the second is bloody tiring. The first is what the OP was referring to, the second is what some people seem to think the OP was referring to. (At least, as far as I can see.) Just another fun tool in the toy bag as far as I can see.

CreativeDominant -> RE: The eroticism of a sub who desperately tries to please but can't (9/17/2008 12:31:51 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: subtee quote: ORIGINAL: CreativeDominant full-on description of the scene Um...could we have that here? You know, just to parse what your exact meaning is? ~quiet smile~ Sure. Me: Next time we play, I am going to have some fun with you. I am going to do things that make you go "Damn Sir...I can't"...like grip the short hairs on the back of your neck and pull up until you are on your tiptoes AND then, tell you to stand flat on your feet. Things that make you go "please Sir, can I move...PLEASE?" like pushing your favorite toy in your pussy and using it in the most talented way I can bring forth from myself, all the while telling you that you CAN NOT MOVE, either with the toy or away from it. Things such as Nueva Vida mentioned that make you go..."Damn sir...please...just one taste?" like gripping your hair and putting you on your knees and telling you to open your mouth. Once it is open, spend about 10-15 minutes with cock in hand rubbing it all over your lips, your face, under your nose, over your neck, even through your hair BUT telling you that you cannot use your tongue at all...possibly with my boot shoved up against your cunt with the additional instructions that you cannot ride it at all, no matter what I do...and then proceed to rub it hard against that cunt, push it up against it, tease it with the sharp cowboy toe. Now then, would that be explanation enough? [;)]

sirsholly -> RE: The eroticism of a sub who desperately tries to please but can't (9/17/2008 12:42:38 PM)
:::::thud:::::

justgemmie -> RE: The eroticism of a sub who desperately tries to please but can't (9/17/2008 12:46:13 PM)
swoons and falls over right along beside holly P.S. am i the only one who wonders why this Hottie is still single????

subtee -> RE: The eroticism of a sub who desperately tries to please but can't (9/17/2008 12:47:23 PM)
Oh. Well, I'm a little slow...maybe just a bit more... ~slides off her chair~

brat4fun -> RE: The eroticism of a sub who desperately tries to please but can't (9/17/2008 12:49:28 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CreativeDominant ~quiet smile~ Sure. Me: Next time we play, I am going to have some fun with you. I am going to do things that make you go "Damn Sir...I can't"...like grip the short hairs on the back of your neck and pull up until you are on your tiptoes AND then, tell you to stand flat on your feet. Things that make you go "please Sir, can I move...PLEASE?" like pushing your favorite toy in your pussy and using it in the most talented way I can bring forth from myself, all the while telling you that you CAN NOT MOVE, either with the toy or away from it. Things such as Nueva Vida mentioned that make you go..."Damn sir...please...just one taste?" like gripping your hair and putting you on your knees and telling you to open your mouth. Once it is open, spend about 10-15 minutes with cock in hand rubbing it all over your lips, your face, under your nose, over your neck, even through your hair BUT telling you that you cannot use your tongue at all...possibly with my boot shoved up against your cunt with the additional instructions that you cannot ride it at all, no matter what I do...and then proceed to rub it hard against that cunt, push it up against it, tease it with the sharp cowboy toe. Now then, would that be explanation enough? [;)] Ummm.... is it getting warm in here? For me, it's all in the approach. If Sir has a smile on his face and is obviously enjoying what's happening then it's all good. If Sir appears to be disappointed, or even angry, then it's horrid! There are times when my Sir will tell me to do things that he knows I cannot simply to emphasize the fact that he is the one in control. It's never done harshly and it's obvious that he has a point to it. Things like holding my wrists while we're having sex and telling me to try to struggle away from him... there's absolutely no sense of rape or pain or humiliation... he's just demonstrating the physical power he has over me. It puts me into a very lovely submissive mindset. lil Aidan

silkncarol -> RE: The eroticism of a sub who desperately tries to please but can't (9/17/2008 12:56:27 PM)
<fanning myself> This is great fun play.....it's spontaneous and playful....not done to hurt anyone's self-esteem or damage self-worth...just because He can and knows i will.....it keeps things interesting! Like trying to decide which cane you like best...while he's demonstrating the difference between them to you... Holding your hand out..plam up, while he tapes it with a cane to Bolero........ Having to ask for permission to cum...not just from Him, but also everyone else watching the scene (damn those "friends" throwing you under the bus!) quote: ORIGINAL: CreativeDominant quote: ORIGINAL: subtee quote: ORIGINAL: CreativeDominant full-on description of the scene Um...could we have that here? You know, just to parse what your exact meaning is? ~quiet smile~ Sure. Me: Next time we play, I am going to have some fun with you. I am going to do things that make you go "Damn Sir...I can't"...like grip the short hairs on the back of your neck and pull up until you are on your tiptoes AND then, tell you to stand flat on your feet. Things that make you go "please Sir, can I move...PLEASE?" like pushing your favorite toy in your pussy and using it in the most talented way I can bring forth from myself, all the while telling you that you CAN NOT MOVE, either with the toy or away from it. Things such as Nueva Vida mentioned that make you go..."Damn sir...please...just one taste?" like gripping your hair and putting you on your knees and telling you to open your mouth. Once it is open, spend about 10-15 minutes with cock in hand rubbing it all over your lips, your face, under your nose, over your neck, even through your hair BUT telling you that you cannot use your tongue at all...possibly with my boot shoved up against your cunt with the additional instructions that you cannot ride it at all, no matter what I do...and then proceed to rub it hard against that cunt, push it up against it, tease it with the sharp cowboy toe. Now then, would that be explanation enough? [;)]

simpleplan2 -> RE: The eroticism of a sub who desperately tries to please but can't (9/17/2008 12:57:35 PM)
Zackly...you start off saying "I'm gonna have some fun with you"...Those words are explanation enough. Those words set the tone for the entire scene. I can't imagine anyone having self esteem issues (or whatever) after the dominant has said that.

DesFIP -> RE: The eroticism of a sub who desperately tries to please but can't (9/17/2008 2:09:42 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CreativeDominant Here's something I am pondering...if all it takes to frustrate a submissive, wound her sense of worth, make her feel like she is a failure, then...how good a job is the dominant doing outside of play...in the serious realm of D/s...to raise up her sense of self-esteem, to let her know that she doesn't fail him, that she is immensely pleasing to him, teaching and training ( I know, that dreaded word again) that sadism sometimes involves mental/emotional games as well as physical but that what is done is being done on the side of play and that the chances of a single event occurring there that would ruin the relationship are slim to none? Hmmmmmmmmmm... Improving my self esteem isn't his responsibility. Ultimately it's mine. He can help just by letting me know how much he values me it still isn't something he can do for me. Truth is, I'm never going to be supersub who has no scars and no weak spots. As good as I am now is probably as good as I'm going to get. And one of my weak areas, that is never going to heal totally, is being set up to fail. Five years with him doesn't negate twenty five years with a man who never made me feel good about myself. Just as there are positions that are bad for my back, there are emotional areas that are bad for me to delve in. Of course, this is one of the reasons I went looking for a nonsadist. I don't like pain and I can't handle emotional pain, to someone with my history emotional pain is identical with emotional abuse. I've spent too many years being told for real that I just wasn't good enough to be able to find it a fun game. Maybe the issue of emotional sadism ought to be discussed a lot earlier, before the play starts, before the collaring. Because just as some people grow stronger by taking it, others don't. And smart people look for these areas of compatibility first, and don't wait to discover it only after harm has been done.

TreasureKY -> RE: The eroticism of a sub who desperately tries to please but can't (9/17/2008 2:56:26 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CreativeDominant Me: Next time we play, I am going to have some fun with you. I am going to do things that make you go "Damn Sir...I can't"...like grip the short hairs on the back of your neck and pull up until you are on your tiptoes AND then, tell you to stand flat on your feet. Things that make you go "please Sir, can I move...PLEASE?" like pushing your favorite toy in your pussy and using it in the most talented way I can bring forth from myself, all the while telling you that you CAN NOT MOVE, either with the toy or away from it. Things such as Nueva Vida mentioned that make you go..."Damn sir...please...just one taste?" like gripping your hair and putting you on your knees and telling you to open your mouth. Once it is open, spend about 10-15 minutes with cock in hand rubbing it all over your lips, your face, under your nose, over your neck, even through your hair BUT telling you that you cannot use your tongue at all...possibly with my boot shoved up against your cunt with the additional instructions that you cannot ride it at all, no matter what I do...and then proceed to rub it hard against that cunt, push it up against it, tease it with the sharp cowboy toe. Now then, would that be explanation enough? [;)] See... I told you that I found it hard to believe you were cranky. Of course, if this is cranky, lucky is the girl who finds you in a good mood. [:D]

RapierFugue -> RE: The eroticism of a sub who desperately tries to please but can't (9/17/2008 3:12:21 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: simpleplan2 Zackly...you start off saying "I'm gonna have some fun with you"...Those words are explanation enough. Those words set the tone for the entire scene. I can't imagine anyone having self esteem issues (or whatever) after the dominant has said that. Thank you. I was trying to find a non-confrontational way of saying that [:D]

CreativeDominant -> RE: The eroticism of a sub who desperately tries to please but can't (9/17/2008 3:44:23 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: simpleplan2 Zackly...you start off saying "I'm gonna have some fun with you"...Those words are explanation enough. Those words set the tone for the entire scene. I can't imagine anyone having self esteem issues (or whatever) after the dominant has said that. You can't...but I wonder how many of those who've posted here would still have problems with a dominant doing what the OP did, even if they knew he said that prior to the play. He never did say one way or the other so I just presumed that he had done so prior to the play...maybe because I would. I think many presumed he did not...not sure why they would presume that.

CreativeDominant -> RE: The eroticism of a sub who desperately tries to please but can't (9/17/2008 3:54:24 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: subtee Oh. Well, I'm a little slow...maybe just a bit more... ~slides off her chair~ Alright then...~smiles~ I might say that I am going to do things when we play tonight that might make you swear and say things like: "Jeeeeeeeesus Sir...you KNOW how much I love that" when I have you on your knees, shoulders to the floor, wrists bound to your ankles and place a box of chocolate just in front ... and out of reach of you...while telling you that if you can reach it, you can eat alllllllllllll you want tonight. "ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh damn, Sir...I don't friggin' know which way to go" when I insert a favorite anal toy, a favorite cunt toy and then place my lips and teeth and tongue near your nipples and then look at you smiling while telling you that you can only move one way...towards the assfuck, the cuntfuck, the breast/nipple mouthplay...and then begin to move one, stop it...move one, stop it...use my mouth, stop. "GodDAMNit Sir...please let me move" when I put you on the cross but don't tie you down, telling you that I wish for you to consider yourself mentally bound and not to move or struggle and then begin to spank/flog/cane/paddle that sweet, round, succulent ass with all of my/your favorite toys, meanwhile warning you that the minute you move, the spanking/flogging/caning/paddling stops.

CreativeDominant -> RE: The eroticism of a sub who desperately tries to please but can't (9/17/2008 4:01:35 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: TreasureKY quote: ORIGINAL: CreativeDominant Me: Next time we play, I am going to have some fun with you. I am going to do things that make you go "Damn Sir...I can't"...like grip the short hairs on the back of your neck and pull up until you are on your tiptoes AND then, tell you to stand flat on your feet. Things that make you go "please Sir, can I move...PLEASE?" like pushing your favorite toy in your pussy and using it in the most talented way I can bring forth from myself, all the while telling you that you CAN NOT MOVE, either with the toy or away from it. Things such as Nueva Vida mentioned that make you go..."Damn sir...please...just one taste?" like gripping your hair and putting you on your knees and telling you to open your mouth. Once it is open, spend about 10-15 minutes with cock in hand rubbing it all over your lips, your face, under your nose, over your neck, even through your hair BUT telling you that you cannot use your tongue at all...possibly with my boot shoved up against your cunt with the additional instructions that you cannot ride it at all, no matter what I do...and then proceed to rub it hard against that cunt, push it up against it, tease it with the sharp cowboy toe. Now then, would that be explanation enough? [;)] See... I told you that I found it hard to believe you were cranky. Of course, if this is cranky, lucky is the girl who finds you in a good mood. [:D] Thanks, treasure. ~blushes angelically~

sirsholly -> RE: The eroticism of a sub who desperately tries to please but can't (9/17/2008 4:06:12 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CreativeDominant quote: ORIGINAL: subtee Oh. Well, I'm a little slow...maybe just a bit more... ~slides off her chair~ Alright then...~smiles~ I might say that I am going to do things when we play tonight that might make you swear and say things like: "Jeeeeeeeesus Sir...you KNOW how much I love that" when I have you on your knees, shoulders to the floor, wrists bound to your ankles and place a box of chocolate just in front ... and out of reach of you...while telling you that if you can reach it, you can eat alllllllllllll you want tonight. "ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh damn, Sir...I don't friggin' know which way to go" when I insert a favorite anal toy, a favorite cunt toy and then place my lips and teeth and tongue near your nipples and then look at you smiling while telling you that you can only move one way...towards the assfuck, the cuntfuck, the breast/nipple mouthplay. "GodDAMNit Sir...please let me move" when I put you on the cross but don't tie you down, telling you that I wish for you to consider yourself mentally bound and not to move or struggle and then begin to spank/flog/cane/paddle that sweet, round, succulent ass with all of my/your favorite toys, meanwhile warning you that the minute you move, the spanking/flogging/caning/paddling stops. :::::splat:::::

NuevaVida -> RE: The eroticism of a sub who desperately tries to please but can't (9/17/2008 5:09:47 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CreativeDominant I might say that I am going to do things when we play tonight that might make you swear and say things like: "Jeeeeeeeesus Sir...you KNOW how much I love that" when I have you on your knees, shoulders to the floor, wrists bound to your ankles and place a box of chocolate just in front ... and out of reach of you...while telling you that if you can reach it, you can eat alllllllllllll you want tonight. OK on this one I'd just have to say come hell or high water I would reach the chocolate. I'd be like a mom who lifts an overturned car off her child - defying the laws of physics - and them chocolates would be gone!!! [sm=yahoo.gif]

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