RE: The eroticism of a sub who desperately tries to please but can't

RE: The eroticism of a sub who desperately tries to please but can't (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion

Message

persephonee -> RE: The eroticism of a sub who desperately tries to please but can't (9/17/2008 5:16:03 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CreativeDominant quote: ORIGINAL: subtee Oh. Well, I'm a little slow...maybe just a bit more... ~slides off her chair~ Alright then...~smiles~ I might say that I am going to do things when we play tonight that might make you swear and say things like: "Jeeeeeeeesus Sir...you KNOW how much I love that" when I have you on your knees, shoulders to the floor, wrists bound to your ankles and place a box of chocolate just in front ... and out of reach of you...while telling you that if you can reach it, you can eat alllllllllllll you want tonight. "ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh damn, Sir...I don't friggin' know which way to go" when I insert a favorite anal toy, a favorite cunt toy and then place my lips and teeth and tongue near your nipples and then look at you smiling while telling you that you can only move one way...towards the assfuck, the cuntfuck, the breast/nipple mouthplay...and then begin to move one, stop it...move one, stop it...use my mouth, stop. "GodDAMNit Sir...please let me move" when I put you on the cross but don't tie you down, telling you that I wish for you to consider yourself mentally bound and not to move or struggle and then begin to spank/flog/cane/paddle that sweet, round, succulent ass with all of my/your favorite toys, meanwhile warning you that the minute you move, the spanking/flogging/caning/paddling stops. blushes

tsatske -> RE: The eroticism of a sub who desperately tries to please but can't (9/18/2008 5:59:37 AM)
quote: Now then, would that be explanation enough? CreativeDominant Although this is directly in response to you, the main message of this is in no way aimed at you. You seem to get it. That post you gave us (HOT) was just a tease sent out at some of the ladies here - you failed, of course. I can't see how that could have gotten any reaction at all - uhm, anyway - In the face 2 face version of this kind of play, many people seem to be saying, 'okay, i don't like it, but if you do F2F what Creative did online here, well, THEN, I guess it might be okay' You did that deep description because we are all online, and words are all you have. But, in person - really, do you really need that? If he ties you down and begins tickling the shit out of you and orders you not to move or make a sound, or you will be punished - you NEED Him to stop everything for a moment and tell you that He is completely aware that you can't help it, He just wants an excuse to, as has been used here, 'funish' you? I'm going with the 2 brain cell people here, and, no, i do not intend insult to those who have said this is not their type of play - that just means THEY don't like it. But surely they can see - for one for whom it was not a limit, there is really no damage. I am smart enough to know that I can not hold still during that, and therefore, smart enough not to feel like a failure. I am smart enough to know that HE is smart enough to know that, too, and therefore, he is not going to be actually angry or disapointed in me. Again, while Master does not happen to do this, my last Master did, and it was fun. Being told to stay on tiptoes or hold my hands up, i don't need to be told that i will eventually fail. I just try hard and pray he says 'okay, you did good', and, when He does not, eventually I fail. I know I did my best, so how can I be down on myself? And, maybe it's a laughing scene - maybe it's a cussing at Him scene - but maybe it's a heavy serious scene where I am TRYING - it doesn't matter, he's having fun, so I enjoy it. just like I enjoy being laughed AT - and some of these scenes might very well result in my being laughed at. such delicous humilation, trying, failing, being laughed at, then punished... YUM. Oh, and, Creative - THANK YOU for helping turn this thread into the lovely wank material fun thread it was INTENDED to be!

beargonewild -> RE: The eroticism of a sub who desperately tries to please but can't (9/18/2008 8:00:20 AM)
~FR~ I've read and reread the OP and no where does he state that he sets his sub up for a fall with impossible tasks that she is bound to fail. What I saw was another variation of enhancing the pleasure sensations of the sub and for himself. Tease and denial so to speak. Yes he teases her by telling the sub no to do one thing while he manipulates her pleasure spots yet they both are enjoying the nature of that type of playing.

Llyren -> RE: The eroticism of a sub who desperately tries to please but can't (9/18/2008 10:01:18 AM)
If it's obviously in fun and for play, then I'm all for offering new suggestions. Have her paint your toenails perfectly while you keep wiggling them, for example. But unless it was designed to have both parties laughing, and was clearly a game, I can think of few things more detrimental or frustrating than constantly failing to please. In the OP's defense, the example given is pretty definitely not a "failure" scenario. Obviously he's intended she fail, since unless you get some really good momentum and can use your weight effectively, you're never going to kneel with someone's fingers buried in you. Especially given how it would feel as you move on them.. er... nevermind....

CalifChick -> RE: The eroticism of a sub who desperately tries to please but can't (9/18/2008 10:05:03 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Llyren since unless you get some really good momentum and can use your weight effectively, you're never going to kneel with someone's fingers buried in you. Check... and Check. Hope he's got good wrist strength so it doesn't get broken with the sudden downward body-drop on it. *Caliente!*

Llyren -> RE: The eroticism of a sub who desperately tries to please but can't (9/18/2008 10:39:04 AM)
Now... if you break your Dom's wrist obeying his command, how does that work, punishment-wise? Sadly, I suspect lots of guilt and beating oneself up for having hurt one's Dom, so it's rather a lose-lose proposition. But on the other hand, he couldn't claim you were not willing to do anything to be obedient.

CalifChick -> RE: The eroticism of a sub who desperately tries to please but can't (9/18/2008 10:45:18 AM)
I must be weal and twue then. TwueSubblyCali

Kat713 -> RE: The eroticism of a sub who desperately tries to please but can't (9/18/2008 11:01:06 AM)
I personally think that scene sounds pretty hot.... [sm=yourock.gif]

TysGalilah -> RE: The eroticism of a sub who desperately tries to please but can't (9/18/2008 11:35:55 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: beargonewild ~FR~ I've read and reread the OP and no where does he state that he sets his sub up for a fall with impossible tasks that she is bound to fail. What I saw was another variation of enhancing the pleasure sensations of the sub and for himself. Tease and denial so to speak. Yes he teases her by telling the sub no to do one thing while he manipulates her pleasure spots yet they both are enjoying the nature of that type of playing. "{I then arrange a situation where she can't win while she obediently attempts to comply}" It jumped right out at me : )

TysGalilah -> RE: The eroticism of a sub who desperately tries to please but can't (9/18/2008 11:50:55 AM)
It has been really interesting reading the responses of this thread,Pompeii, thanks for starting it.. As I read some of the responses in a more positive frame of mind > I found myself thinking things like > "ohh that could be erotic( for someone else)". I realize I was originally thinking of this two ways> 1. Not a temp situation where playing this way was understood by both..and is playful in intent and not sabotaging. 2. That my background only let me "see" this a certain way..from my perspective. Coming from a background of severe emotional manipulation and abuse...Being constantly lied to and made to feel insane or stupid by a rollercoaster of lies and deceit and confrontation> Emotional humilation is something that Tyson very carefully skirts around the edges. Yes there is humilation play in some of what he desires and introduces...but generally it is physical and not so much emotional sabotage..like lies, name calling, tricking, abandonment to name several. The scenario you talked about would not be something he would introduce, nor enjoy. He, himself, has been honest to say he intensely dislikes name calling and emotional games for his own personal reasons and background issues as well. Having said that> After reading the other perspectives and responses I can see how it could be a turn on for others who might not the issues I seem to .... lol groan.. and doesn't just make the D-type person an ass that is turned on by it. I do think it has to be done very carefully tho' and with the right person/compatibility..or the results could really turn on ya... Another ^5 for having compatibility and understanding how each other ticks... right? : )

CalifChick -> RE: The eroticism of a sub who desperately tries to please but can't (9/18/2008 11:52:07 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Llyren Sadly, I suspect lots of guilt and beating oneself up for having hurt one's Dom, so it's rather a lose-lose proposition. Ya know, I was thinking about this. During purely vanilla sex, I've suffered a dislocated hip, I gave a guy a heart attack, and on yet another occasion, was knocked unconscious which required EMTs and an ambulance ride and a concussion resulted... it's time someone ELSE explains to the peeps in the E.R. what happened to them! Caliente

tsatske -> RE: The eroticism of a sub who desperately tries to please but can't (9/18/2008 12:02:10 PM)
on the plus side, the ensuing beating for breaking his wrist is probably going to be, of necesity, pretty wimpy - since he is going to have trouble swinging a belt-paddle-whatever, with that broken wrist. Maybe he could just beat me with his cast? that would be a fit-the-crime kinda punishment, don'tcha think?

beltainefaerie -> RE: The eroticism of a sub who desperately tries to please but can't (9/18/2008 12:05:55 PM)
The grammar Nazi in me hates the word "funishment," but I get that it can be used to hopefully avoid an onslaught of responses about punishment. In know that I desire so much to be pleasing that such games would not be fun for me. If they were Master’s idea of a good time, I’d try to get it. Overall, though, he doesn’t get games with our dynamic. If he wants to beat me for his pleasure, he does that without made-up situations. He doesn’t need a reason. I can tell from his mood and tone whether he wants me to enjoy it or cry and I strive for the right headspace. It works for us, but other people have different relationships.

Llyren -> RE: The eroticism of a sub who desperately tries to please but can't (9/18/2008 12:12:04 PM)
I'm with you in being strict with grammar and proper writing, but 'funishment' does have a bit of a ring to it. There is a definite difference between actual punishment and what could be viewed as punishment, but is merely for fun. So perhaps there is a need for a word to differentiate between the two. If it's playing, it's not punishment, and I think that word should be reserved for actual serious issues.

dollenburg -> RE: The eroticism of a sub who desperately tries to please but can't (9/27/2008 6:38:44 AM)
I love the idea of telling a sub to keep attempting to please me all the while making it difficult by restraint or other impediment! Rather than permanent psychological damage, I think they'd have a lasting endorphin fueled pleasure!

NihilusZero -> RE: The eroticism of a sub who desperately tries to please but can't (9/27/2008 8:21:00 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: eyesopened However, if the OP explains the scene ahead of time that his pleasure comes from watching the struggle, that the tasks themselves will be impossible but the goal is his pleasure, then the scene could work because if she pleases him by struggling to do the impossible, he will be pleased and thus she will have succeeded. But this really needs to be explained in detail ahead of time so the submissive can see that her "failure" of task is really success in goal. This is easily where the discussion could have ended. It shows the actual undestanding of the purpose of the OP's scenario. There are far too many over-zealous psychoanalyses of the detrimental status of a winless play situation(s) that can supposedly do immeasurable harm to the psyche of a sub/slave... If I am a Trivial Pursuit buff and my sub is not, but I want to play with them (making it almost entirely likely they will lose every time) should they not do it because they cannot succeed? Should I be concerned about the self esteem of the sub because I've chosen to place them in a winless scenario?

Roselaure -> RE: The eroticism of a sub who desperately tries to please but can't (9/27/2008 9:05:10 AM)
Recently my Dom and I were playing and he told me to touch his cock. I immediately moved to comply and he dodged. I looked at him questioningly, and he told me again to touch him. I tried and he blocked me. Still not quite getting it (I swear I am not a complete idiot, but we had never played this way before), I tried again, and he blocked me again. He grinned quite wickedly at me and all of a sudden I got it. The most fun and energetic wrestling match ensued. He's a big man, outweighs me by at least 80 pounds and is half a foot taller than I am, not to mention the fact that I have never been much of a fighter. There was no way I was going to "win" and we both knew it, but somehow when we were finished I didn't feel I had either "lost" or failed to please him.

xXLithiumXx -> RE: The eroticism of a sub who desperately tries to please but can't (9/27/2008 9:23:17 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth ~ Fast Reply ~ Hang on a second... You mean there are sadists here setting up sadistic evil scenarios for their personal amusement at the expense and humiliation of their submissives who can in no way accomplish the task!? Sadists who are more impressed with the attempt than the given expectation of failure? Worse - There are submissives that are sooooo dedicated and desire to please their Dominant to the point of not caring how silly they look or how impossible the task - they just try their best? What the hell nonsense is being spread here? My goodness - Next people will start discussing occasions where people are being beat them with floggers, paddles and canes! How can anyone tolerate a such activity? Disgusting! I'm shocked! Shocked I say! Shocked & Appalled! PS - Knew you couldn't stay away from the soap opera that is CM,[sm=welcomewave.gif]BACK Michael! See you next Friday! rofl!

SlaveIndigochild -> RE: The eroticism of a sub who desperately tries to please but can't (9/27/2008 3:42:09 PM)
My psychology is the opposite of this and i am happier than i have ever been in a relationship where i am allowed to fail and yet i am praised for the EFFORT rather than for the outcome. This not only motivates me to repeat tasks and work harder at improving the outcome but also encourages me to do what Master calls 'intuitive service.' I am not 'funished'....what the hell is that all about?. Indeed i am not punished as pain is pain delivered for absolute pleasure on both sides and furthermore is a test of tenacity and forbearance on my part not as a reaction on his. i have been in relationships where somethings were 'ok' and some things were never going to be a success on my part but the problem always lay in me never quite being party to which was which, so that anything and everything could have/would have/might have fallen into the category of 'never quite succeeding.' Since my type of service is not only physical it is intuitive, placing possible negative consequences into my psyche always had me walk despite the insecurity of releasing myself. maybe this isn't the best i could do at describing this very internal process of being made to feel neverendingly wortyhleess n=but i relaise that planting such doubts was not a healthy dynamic for me.

tweedydaddy -> RE: The eroticism of a sub who desperately tries to please but can't (9/27/2008 4:22:26 PM)
Wouldn't that be a case of how hard you are to please?

Page: << < prev 1 2 3 4 [5]

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.046875