RE: Dom/Domme addiction/withdrawal?

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RE: Dom/Domme addiction/withdrawal? - 9/20/2008 7:16:48 PM

kittengirl8

Posts: 120
Joined: 11/11/2007
Status: offline

Most people have gone through this with some relationship in their lives - platonic and romantic (and somewhere "complex"). It's never easy, especially if you were emotionally attached. As already mentioned, a good way to distract yourself is to stay busy. If you don't feel like the Domme is worth waiting for, don't wait. If your emotional needs aren't met, send her an email or something and go on with your lives. She may need space, but remember that you have needs too.

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RE: Dom/Domme addiction/withdrawal? - 9/20/2008 10:28:58 PM

Esclava2one

Posts: 34
Joined: 9/17/2008
Status: offline

Thanks Trisket I needed that. I am feeling a little sad because my Master is busy this weekend and missing Him. Gave me a whole new perspective.

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RE: Dom/Domme addiction/withdrawal? - 9/20/2008 10:45:33 PM

girloverboard

Posts: 6
Joined: 1/20/2008
From: California
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esclava, feeling lonely is exactly where i'm at, too, and a big part of why i felt like i needed a stronger kinky community; my daddy and i have a long distance relationship and we have had really conflicting schedules lately so we've been playing a lot of phone tag. a big part of me wants to say that its harder for subs, but really, i know that its not. its just hard because we're human.

i usually remind myself that i dont let anyone hurt me except my daddy, so i can't let myself hurt myself when he's not around to do it, so my rational mind totally agrees with everything that trisket said and is thinking that thats exactly why i'm here, to hear other people say smart things, but apparently my emotional mind is thinking that its more fun to be wallowing...

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RE: Dom/Domme addiction/withdrawal? - 9/30/2008 8:12:09 PM

boytoyinatlanta

Posts: 75
Joined: 7/24/2007
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i can relate but your situation doesn't seem permanent...mine was

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RE: Dom/Domme addiction/withdrawal? - 9/30/2008 11:47:35 PM

Sire60

Posts: 8
Joined: 2/3/2007
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Unfortunately relationships in the D/s lifestyle last an average of about 9 months... many shorter, many longer. I don't have a time-span for relationships outside the D/s lifestyle, but from my experience they don't last any longer on the average, if they even last as long. There is no good way to end a relationship, even for the person moving on. I've learned to look at prospective partners and relationships from the context of "what will be, will be." None of this helps when you've lost someone you care deeply about. But it may help in the future.

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RE: Dom/Domme addiction/withdrawal? - 9/30/2008 11:50:02 PM

boytoyinatlanta

Posts: 75
Joined: 7/24/2007
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Siren60, where are you getting your information that the average life span for a bdsm relationship is about 9 months?

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RE: Dom/Domme addiction/withdrawal? - 10/1/2008 8:11:03 AM

CallaFirestormBW

Posts: 3651
Joined: 6/29/2008
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My situation was a little different. I was 'cut off' because of the death of my Keeper. I think that the process is similar, though. There is a time of grieving, and slowly, a person starts returning to living life -- the first time back with someone different in charge is... interesting... even for me, and the fact that my Keeper's replacement had already been someone I submitted to before his death, it was weird knowing that he wasn't going to be there.

Take your time. Let yourself grieve and move on at your own pace.

Calla Firestorm

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***
Said to me recently: "Look, I know you're the "voice of reason"... but dammit, I LIKE being unreasonable!!!!"

"Your mind is more interested in the challenge of becoming than the challenge of doing." Jon Benson, Bodybuilder/Trainer

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RE: Dom/Domme addiction/withdrawal? - 10/1/2008 9:42:36 AM

Daes

Posts: 246
Joined: 4/20/2007
From: Diamond Bar, SoCal
Status: offline

Been there...hate it.

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I want to be in surrender of His strength, of His power. Alone, I am nothing, but in His arms I am all things...

~His puppy~

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