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More confusion about Collarme dynamics... - 9/17/2008 9:40:03 PM   
aravain


Posts: 1211
Joined: 8/26/2008
Status: offline 		Hmm... I'm so confused.

I'm very clearly a GAY male submissive... I have that declared and everything.

Why are so many 'straight male dominants/switches' looking at my profile? o.O It's starting to get really confusing. My profile hasn't been looked at once by any gay or bisexual male dominants... but I don't mind that so much.

I mean, I'd understand if I'd even seen them in the forums (and I do love seeing that forum people have looked at me :D) but as far as I can tell they haven't posted in areas I have (or at all in most cases).

So, what are these men looking for? Why did they look at my full profile? Even if they made a 'mistake' while searching and accidentally selected men instead of women or something... you have to select 'view full profile' in order to pop up on my 'Who's Viewed Me' tab, right? Why do they even bother looking?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: More confusion about Collarme dynamics... - 9/17/2008 9:42:11 PM   
stef


Posts: 10215
Joined: 1/26/2004
Status: offline 		You're new here. People look at the profiles of people with unfamiliar usernames or those who post interesting things in the forums. Don't read anything more into it than that.

~stef

_____________________________

Welcome to PoliticSpace! If you came here expecting meaningful BDSM discussions, boy are you in the wrong place.

"Hypocrisy has consequences"

(in reply to aravain)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: More confusion about Collarme dynamics... - 9/17/2008 9:42:13 PM   
YourhandMyAss


Posts: 5516
Joined: 6/25/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline 		You do realize Ihope that not every one who looks at your profile is trying to hook up with you right?

There is such a thing as human curiosity, and if you put it out there people will read it and sometimes it'll be purely to see what you wrote.

(in reply to aravain)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: More confusion about Collarme dynamics... - 9/17/2008 9:44:31 PM   
FaerieQueene


Posts: 32
Joined: 9/16/2008
Status: offline 		Maybe you're just that fascinating to tempt even a straight man to experimentation. Ya never know.

Or, like everyone above said, they're just curious.


< Message edited by FaerieQueene -- 9/17/2008 9:45:18 PM >

(in reply to aravain)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: More confusion about Collarme dynamics... - 9/17/2008 9:46:43 PM   
aravain


Posts: 1211
Joined: 8/26/2008
Status: offline 		I do realize that :) However, I don't even understand where their interest in what I've written would come from.

I mean, I don't look through female dominants' profiles at all. I'm not interested because we wouldn't be compatible (they're lacking a very certain something that's quite important to me). If one of my friends finds an interesting profile or something I'll give it a look-see, or if I'm doing an idle picture trawl because I'm bored and I see a very pretty someone/thing I'll view the full profile to save the link to show peoples... but I'm just... confused as to motivation.

What I've written on my profile is applicable only to people who are sexually compatible with me in addition to kink-compatible... is that not the way it is with most people on the site?

(in reply to YourhandMyAss)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: More confusion about Collarme dynamics... - 9/17/2008 9:48:04 PM   
aravain


Posts: 1211
Joined: 8/26/2008
Status: offline 		I suppose that makes sense... though I don't understand people who 'lurk' on forums  I'm just to nosy AND opinionated to do it and not get involved!

(in reply to stef)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: More confusion about Collarme dynamics... - 9/17/2008 9:50:15 PM   
aravain


Posts: 1211
Joined: 8/26/2008
Status: offline 		Haha...

I can't get the phrase (and the accompanying melody I made up in 4th grade for it) 'curiosity killed the cat' out of my head now.

Seems like a silly reason to me, but then again I'm also a silly person at the best of times, so maybe the normality of it is why I think it's silly?

Yeesh, I should go to bed. Talking in circles. *sigh*

(in reply to FaerieQueene)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: More confusion about Collarme dynamics... - 9/17/2008 9:50:41 PM   
MidMichCowboy


Posts: 665
Joined: 3/23/2007
Status: offline 		Hell, my goal is to perve everyones profile. I love finding out about people. I especially perv those who post a lot (memory fading .. have to look back at profiles to see who they are) because I like to put what they write in context of who they are. I love reading peoples journals. Keep writing folks. I find it interesting .

_____________________________

I want to capture your mind, your spirit, your soul, your body, your devotion and your love. Then, will I give you my heart.

(in reply to FaerieQueene)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: More confusion about Collarme dynamics... - 9/17/2008 9:54:24 PM   
SirMIkeSD


Posts: 613
Joined: 3/16/2007
From: San Diego, Ca
Status: offline 		Done now you have been looked at by a Gay Male Dom. Really what does it matter, who looks at you, do you care who looks at you when you walk down the street. Also unless they look how do they know if you are not compatible? I don't normally look at profiles unless I want to find out more about the person when I am reading their question or response in the forums. Even as a gay male submissive you may be capable one day of submitting to a straight male or even a female. Submission is not about sex nor is play, in my mind. Hell I play with women and straight men, does not matter to me, it about what I learn, give and get during those sessions.

Mike


< Message edited by SirMIkeSD -- 9/17/2008 9:56:12 PM >

(in reply to aravain)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: More confusion about Collarme dynamics... - 9/17/2008 9:54:40 PM   
aravain


Posts: 1211
Joined: 8/26/2008
Status: offline 		That's an awesome reason :D

Most of my reading of people is done on my blog site, but that does seem really cool. Haha, you probably read some interesting things!

(in reply to MidMichCowboy)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: More confusion about Collarme dynamics... - 9/17/2008 9:59:05 PM   
YourhandMyAss


Posts: 5516
Joined: 6/25/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline 		No.Not everyone. Because other people might write a profile to attract friends here , and not just sexual partners.

quote:

ORIGINAL: aravain

I do realize that :) However, I don't even understand where their interest in what I've written would come from.

I mean, I don't look through female dominants' profiles at all. I'm not interested because we wouldn't be compatible (they're lacking a very certain something that's quite important to me). If one of my friends finds an interesting profile or something I'll give it a look-see, or if I'm doing an idle picture trawl because I'm bored and I see a very pretty someone/thing I'll view the full profile to save the link to show peoples... but I'm just... confused as to motivation.

What I've written on my profile is applicable only to people who are sexually compatible with me in addition to kink-compatible... is that not the way it is with most people on the site?


(in reply to aravain)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: More confusion about Collarme dynamics... - 9/17/2008 10:03:21 PM   
aravain


Posts: 1211
Joined: 8/26/2008
Status: offline 		Haha, and his name is the same as mine!

I think we have major philosophical differences in how we approach BDSM, though, based solely on your post.

Submission, to me, is truly an act of sexuality, and I would never do it with someone who is not a sexual partner.

However, I do not view 'being dommed' as being a submissive, or even being dominated as being submissive. When I play with friends (either mentally or pain-play) it's not me submitting to anyone, whether or not I'm the dominant in the situation. It's me doing just that, playing. The act of submitting, to me, is an entirely sexual act and when you take away the sexual nature of it... I'm no longer 'truly' submitting to someone... I'm being beaten, bonded, or whatever else by them, but I'm not giving them much, if anything.

Which is also why I don't really mind whether or not I'm getting trolled by the demographic my profile is 'meant' for... because, really, I'm unlike what dominants, in most cases, are looking for on this site. I just really like the forums. They're pretty amazing <3

But that might be where my confusion stems from. I have a tendency  to forget that not everyone incorporates their sexuality into their submission or domination as heavily as I do.

EDIT: Woops, thoughts faster than the fingers

(in reply to SirMIkeSD)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: More confusion about Collarme dynamics... - 9/17/2008 10:13:10 PM   
SirMIkeSD


Posts: 613
Joined: 3/16/2007
From: San Diego, Ca
Status: offline 		Don't get me wrong, with my boys there is sex but not all the time. At the end of good session, we are flying so high and exhusted that sex is the last thing on the mind and yes when I play with some people it is just play with others it is submission and I know if I wanted at that point that I could have some of them sexually since it has never been a limit when we have played (they know I am gay and not interested in them in the first place) but I choose not to as I prefer to play harder for longer and get my kicks that way.

Mike

(in reply to aravain)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: More confusion about Collarme dynamics... - 9/17/2008 10:24:10 PM   
faerytattoodgirl


Posts: 5824
Status: offline 		6'7 300 lbs???? shouldnt you be in the WWE or something???

_____________________________

I did not reply to your cmail.
I am flawed.
Imperfect.
MUST SPANK!!!
SPAAAAAAAANK!!!

(in reply to aravain)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: More confusion about Collarme dynamics... - 9/17/2008 11:01:48 PM   
peppermint


Posts: 5169
Joined: 10/18/2005
From: Montana
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: aravain



What I've written on my profile is applicable only to people who are sexually compatible with me in addition to kink-compatible... is that not the way it is with most people on the site?



I can't speak for "most people" on the site.  However, i am not looking for sexually compatible or kink compatible companions on this site.  Believe it or not, this site is more than a kinky dating site.  For instance, there is the forum where people post questions, ideas, or thoughts and debate those same questions, ideas, or thoughts.  I often look at profiles of people who post just to get a feel for whom they might be.  It helps to look at the profile if i decide to reply to their post.  I also look at profiles if i'm attracted to the nickname.  Other times i just like to read through profiles.  Over the years i've seen some really neat ones.  I've also made a few really good friends from this site by reading a profile and replying.  Contrary to what you seem to be thinking, my very first friend from Collarme and i had gardening in common and we emailed back and forth about that before sharing phone numbers.  After 3 years we still talk about the gardens. 

So...to sum this up....

Just because you come to Collarme to try to find kink and sexually compatible companions does not mean that everyone is here to do the same.  Your profile is open to anyone who wishes to look at it, for any reason they have.  If having people look at your profile bothers you so greatly, then perhaps you should rethink having a profile on the site at all. 

(in reply to aravain)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: More confusion about Collarme dynamics... - 9/18/2008 4:48:15 AM   
lizcgirl


Posts: 287
Joined: 4/13/2008
Status: offline 		I check out any one's profile that I want to, and I'm not looking for any type of relationship. I might respect something they've written in a post or on their profile and just want to read more. I might think they would be interesting to talk to. I might think they're hot, hell, there's no harm in looking. Now contacting people, on the other hand, that's a little different. I don't contact every one I check out and not every one who checks me out contacts me. It's just looking. As far them not being your sexual orientation- why does it matter? I've been contacted by some females that were attracted to me- I thought it was flattering! Just be glad some one is looking at your page, I bet there are some that can't say the same.

_____________________________

Never make some one a priority when all you are to them is an option.


(in reply to peppermint)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: More confusion about Collarme dynamics... - 9/18/2008 5:09:01 AM   
Twicehappy2x


Posts: 1096
Joined: 3/27/2007
Status: offline 		If i read a post that interests me, i always read the profile, especially before responding to it. Sometimes a profile that grabs my interest comes up when i sign in.
 
I am a bi female who is owned, i am searching for nothing, but i still read profiles.
 
Plus some straight male Doms will scene with a male subbie but not be interested in having sex with them, in order to know if you are willing to do that they would have to perv your profile.

_____________________________

The human heart is not a finite container but an ever expanding universe with all the stars contained there in.

(in reply to aravain)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: More confusion about Collarme dynamics... - 9/18/2008 5:46:12 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		I read profiles if the person writes a thought provoking comment in the fora. I think that's all there is to it. You piqued someone's interest in you as a person, not as a potential sex partner. Take it as a compliment, not otherwise.

Goes off to read op's profile and make him wonder why a female sub is looking at him.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to Twicehappy2x)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: More confusion about Collarme dynamics... - 9/18/2008 5:49:35 AM   
Dnomyar


Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		Im with Cowboy and DesFIB. Be glad that someone even takes the time to look at your profile.

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: More confusion about Collarme dynamics... - 9/18/2008 6:18:40 AM   
JewAndCelt


Posts: 110
Joined: 8/23/2008
From: Arkansas
Status: offline 		I look at EVERYONE. Sometimes when I'm bored I'll just jump around my local profiles and see if I may have run into anyone at the mall. Gay or Straight doesn't matter.

I wouldn't put too much thinking into it. Sometimes people just "look". Have you ever been bored in Chilies and caught yourself people watching? I do that stuff all the time. I'm not interested in hooking up with the person I'm watching, I just watch because it's sort of interesting.

I read profiles because the are interesting to me. No more no less.

_her

< Message edited by JewAndCelt -- 9/18/2008 6:21:04 AM >

_____________________________

Maturity is patience. Mastery is nine times patience.


!!!!!!כי לא נולד הבן זונה שיעצור את ישראל

(in reply to Dnomyar)
Profile   Post #: 20
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