quote:

ORIGINAL: BlkTallFullfig

quote:

But these are his internal strugggles primarily and I have my own. We don't have things I would call "struggles" in the relationship design itself or with my right and responsibilities of authority. If we had these sorts of struggles we would not be together. I consider such relationship roles and dynamic struggles to be either a sign you shouldn't be together (beyond a few months of figuring this out) or to be the venue of vanilla relationships.

I'm happy to see so many responses which resonate with me, because i'm not yet massively secure in my role as a domina, and struggle internally as everyone else (if not more). M

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika
So essentially, I have two questions
- How do you feel about the struggle?
- How do you deal with it?
and I’d love to hear perspectives from people with both dominant and submissive tendencies.

quote:

ORIGINAL: MsIncognito
Don't get me wrong, helping each other is an integral part of a meaningful relationship, at least for me. However, it seems that some Tops just don't feel "Toppy" if their bottom isn't struggling with something...like they're not doing their job right or something. That's what I don't get.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika {clipped}

So essentially, I have two questions
- How do you feel about the struggle?
- How do you deal with it?
and I’d love to hear perspectives from people with both dominant and submissive tendencies.

- LA

quote:

ORIGINAL: Wildfleurs

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika

Now perhaps my theory is way off base. Perhaps it is possible to submit without a struggle. Not being a submissive type, I’m in no place to say for sure.

So essentially, I have two questions
- How do you feel about the struggle?
- How do you deal with it?
and I’d love to hear perspectives from people with both dominant and submissive tendencies.

- LA

To me submission is an ongoing process. Its not a one day I decided to be his and all of a sudden I submitted and bam. To me its a journey that never ends and does always involve struggle. I think the struggle has definitely lessened and typically only happens over the big things, but it still happens. And I view it as being part and parcel as constantly aligning and adjusting to his will, and so long as he is doing what he wants then I'll be adjusting and trying to keep up.

C~

quote:

ORIGINAL: UtopianRanger

quote:

ORIGINAL: Wildfleurs

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika

Now perhaps my theory is way off base. Perhaps it is possible to submit without a struggle. Not being a submissive type, I’m in no place to say for sure.

So essentially, I have two questions
- How do you feel about the struggle?
- How do you deal with it?
and I’d love to hear perspectives from people with both dominant and submissive tendencies.

- LA

To me submission is an ongoing process. Its not a one day I decided to be his and all of a sudden I submitted and bam. To me its a journey that never ends and does always involve struggle. I think the struggle has definitely lessened and typically only happens over the big things, but it still happens. And I view it as being part and parcel as constantly aligning and adjusting to his will, and so long as he is doing what he wants then I'll be adjusting and trying to keep up.

C~

Extremely well said..... I concur completely.

Whether it be sports, business, politics, or any other endeavors throughout my life, I have always taken on a dominant role. All of my prior relationships up until this point have always been with submissive women. For some reason though, I have always held an admiration for dominant women.

It's not just any dominant woman though.... she has to be unique in that she is extremely intelligent and ambitious in her career. Our goals and values platforms need to be in alignment. And even then, I still struggle with many aspects of the thought of submission.

Now at the time, I was receiving between eight and twenty-five unsolicited messages a week from women everywhere. I had even received messages from women in Bucharest and Switzerland. But nothing ever clicked and I felt no connection. Far and away, I was most impressed with a handful of ladies I met on this message board. I thought they were all attractive and normal as all hell. But there was one problem... they were all far away!

Then, by pure happenstance in late July, I started to chat with Lady Angelika via IM. Our first few chats were nothing more than general BS, but after a two week hiatus of no chats due to her best friend coming to visit, I started to chat with her again in early September.

Shortly thereafter, I started to talk with her on the phone. At times, our conversations lasted six and seven hours. In one month we talked over 6500 minutes!! My attraction for her grew and grew - It was amazing.

What was even more amazing is that her dominant personality was classy, seductive and totally not overbearing. Contrary to the stereotypical guy who likes dominant women, the last thing I ever wanted was a leather-clad, thigh high, boot wearing bitch.

I wanted a lady that was loving, understanding, open-minded, and above all a great communicator. And with Lady A, I think the man upstairs blessed me. Do I still struggle with a Lady who has a dominant personality - Hell yeah! But it gets better every day.

I appreciate and thank this site for serving up Lady A, and all the good posts from the brilliant participants here.

The Ranger

quote:

Someone earlier stated that if there was continuous struggle, that would be a warning sign for them. I feel somewhat the same way.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika

So essentially, I have two questions
- How do you feel about the struggle?
- How do you deal with it?
and I’d love to hear perspectives from people with both dominant and submissive tendencies.

- LA