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RE: EMPLOYEE PERFORMANCE EVALUATIONS - 9/24/2008 6:58:11 AM

Saratov

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When they were passing out brains employee thought they said trains and since he hates loud noises went and hid.

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RE: EMPLOYEE PERFORMANCE EVALUATIONS - 9/24/2008 12:17:53 PM

IvyMorgan

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From: Midlands, UK
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Marc2b...

My ribs are all sore, I laughed so much :(

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RE: EMPLOYEE PERFORMANCE EVALUATIONS - 9/24/2008 12:54:20 PM

Mellissande

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Employee is about as useful as tits on a chicken

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RE: EMPLOYEE PERFORMANCE EVALUATIONS - 9/24/2008 1:41:00 PM

Marc2b

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quote:

ORIGINAL: IvyMorgan

Marc2b...

My ribs are all sore, I laughed so much :(

The really scary thing is that about a year after he was let go, I bumbed into [John Doe] about a year later in a restaurant. He told me that he had just enrolled in flight school.

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RE: EMPLOYEE PERFORMANCE EVALUATIONS - 9/24/2008 1:46:02 PM

Mellissande

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Marc2b

quote:

ORIGINAL: IvyMorgan

Marc2b...

My ribs are all sore, I laughed so much :(

The really scary thing is that about a year after he was let go, I bumbed into [John Doe] about a year later in a restaurant. He told me that he had just enrolled in flight school.

OMG, Please tell me he failed?!?!?! I'm already afraid of flying!

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Offer them what they secretly want and they of course immediately become panic-stricken.
— jack Kerouac

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RE: EMPLOYEE PERFORMANCE EVALUATIONS - 9/24/2008 1:57:05 PM

Marc2b

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quote:

OMG, Please tell me he failed?!?!?! I'm already afraid of flying!

I don’t know but I think it's safe to presume he did. I think it's safe to presume that the first time behind the control stick he taxied the plane into the control tower! Presuming there weren’t any Girl Scouts nearby of course.

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RE: EMPLOYEE PERFORMANCE EVALUATIONS - 9/24/2008 1:59:01 PM

Mellissande

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wow, Some people... it's just crazy!

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RE: EMPLOYEE PERFORMANCE EVALUATIONS - 9/24/2008 2:35:11 PM

sirsholly

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Marc2b

I don’t know but I think it's safe to presume he did. I think it's safe to presume that the first time behind the control stick he taxied the plane into the control tower! Presuming there weren’t any Girl Scouts nearby of course.

i almost made it to the end of the thread without spewing coffee.....then i read this

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RE: EMPLOYEE PERFORMANCE EVALUATIONS - 9/24/2008 9:00:36 PM

Vendaval

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Most likely he has his sights set on law school for his next accomplishment!

quote:

ORIGINAL: Marc2b

quote:

OMG, Please tell me he failed?!?!?! I'm already afraid of flying!

I don’t know but I think it's safe to presume he did. I think it's safe to presume that the first time behind the control stick he taxied the plane into the control tower! Presuming there weren’t any Girl Scouts nearby of course.

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RE: EMPLOYEE PERFORMANCE EVALUATIONS - 9/24/2008 9:13:46 PM

Marc2b

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quote:

i almost made it to the end of the thread without spewing coffee.....then i read this

If I have brought laughter to someone's lips, then it has been a day well spent.

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RE: EMPLOYEE PERFORMANCE EVALUATIONS - 9/24/2008 9:18:12 PM

Marc2b

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quote:

Most likely he has his sights set on law school for his next accomplishment!

Last I heard he moved to Texas and began a political career.

Okay, seriously... I’ve no idea what’s become of him since I last saw him and that was at least fifteen years ago. I still have fairly regular contact with friends from those days so I suppose I could ask around a bit (although I’m not sure I really want to know). It would probably take a few days.

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RE: EMPLOYEE PERFORMANCE EVALUATIONS - 9/25/2008 6:28:35 PM

LookieNoNookie

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31. This guy really has his shit together. Too bad he's always standing in it.

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RE: EMPLOYEE PERFORMANCE EVALUATIONS - 9/26/2008 3:18:50 PM

HypnoticDan

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quote:

Continuously brings out twice the productivity in fellow employees because his mistakes cause twice as much work for everyone else.

Your definition of productivity has me questioning your performance reviews.

anyways, what about...
his walls don't quite reach the ceiling
he couldn't pour water out of a boot if the instructions were on the heel
a few fries short of a happy meal
dumber than a box of hair.

(in reply to rubberpet)

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RE: EMPLOYEE PERFORMANCE EVALUATIONS - 9/26/2008 4:30:08 PM

BlackPhx

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51 Cards short of a full deck and the 52nd is a Joker.
They should have used a condom.
and my personal favorite
10,00000 sperm and HE was the fastest.

poenkitten

< Message edited by BlackPhx -- 9/26/2008 4:31:47 PM >

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RE: EMPLOYEE PERFORMANCE EVALUATIONS - 9/26/2008 7:12:53 PM

Marc2b

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quote:

10,00000 sperm and HE was the fastest.

I love it!

...and I'm going to pay you the ultimate compliment and totally steal it. In my life it won't be too long before I have occasion to use it.

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RE: EMPLOYEE PERFORMANCE EVALUATIONS - 9/26/2008 8:44:53 PM

Saratov

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The best part of him ran down his mothers leg.

Employee could be a 'Poster Child' for retroactive abortion.

< Message edited by Saratov -- 9/26/2008 8:46:50 PM >

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RE: EMPLOYEE PERFORMANCE EVALUATIONS - 9/27/2008 6:45:54 PM

BlackPhx

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LOL I have used both of those Saratov..

poenkitten

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RE: EMPLOYEE PERFORMANCE EVALUATIONS - 9/29/2008 7:58:47 AM

Marc2b

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Okay, if anyone is still interested, I’ve got some updated info on [John Doe]. Well, kind of updated, the info is about ten years old.

According to a friend who had bumped into him ten years ago, flight school didn’t work out as [John Doe] didn’t pass the written exams (Whew! Thank you God!). He was, as of that time, working in a warehouse (I hope he wasn’t driving the tow-motors), but was thinking about moving to Florida. I hope he did. I’ve nothing against Florida (except for the Miami Dolphins, of course) but New York has had just about as much of [John Doe] as it can take.

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RE: EMPLOYEE PERFORMANCE EVALUATIONS - 9/29/2008 9:54:39 AM

BlackPhx

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Well fortunately for Florida he probably settled in the Miami area where his driving would not be noticed

or failed to do anything to secure his home during the 2004 Disney tour by the Hurricanes and has moved on to another state. either that or he's working for the Governor reviewing insurance rate increase requests.

poenkitten