Totality

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SlaveIndigochild -> Totality (9/21/2008 12:16:08 PM)
It was a brilliant weekend. Hot sunny days. and the autumn equinox. At the last moment master mentioned wearing swimming clothes just before we went down to visit the seaside. he has a plan: contract in blood, submersion, branding, collar, marriage. in that order. Anyway as we were setting off He said it was my day for baptism as His slave. Now anyone who knows me knows that i was phobic about water. i have only recently unfolded the memory of nearly drowning in the sea as a child which is the root of it. But the fear was hell. So: we are a normal couple heading down to the sea front on this beautiful stretch of Devon coast. A beautiful bay: Stalagmite rock like rocks sticking out of the sea, sea on the turn, cloudless sky and weekend holiday makers paddling at the sea's edge. We sat together master and i for quite some time talking about the meaning of my baptism. Not only that but talking about my deep seated fear. I changed into bathing outfit. Master took my arm and i was panic stricken Walking tiny step by tiny step down to the sea's edge. it was of course freezing water and strong crashing waves: sea on the turn. in my imagination it would be warm water, and still and i would go under and be able to hold my breath. I clung round his neck and was soon crying like a baby, cold and shaking. However, since he is master He said; you are going under now. And so it happened , an intake of breath, and eyes closed, freezing, enveloped, silence, unable to move, not even breath and held behind my back and by the roots of my hair. Total reliance, total trust, a world gone silent and comsisting of nothingness without Him. The i was out and gasping for the air, and held, and looking into His eyes, and all the rest of the world gone, except for Him. Laughing and saying thankyou Master. And an altogether different typwe of trust emerged. My questions is; what have you done, in your dynamic, which has furthered this deeper type of trust, either within the submissive position or from the dominant position in having your will obeyed?

GreedyTop -> RE: Totality (9/21/2008 12:17:46 PM)
wow, Prinny.. that's awesome! hugs

Lockit -> RE: Totality (9/21/2008 12:40:11 PM)
Indigochild... all I can do is smile, that you went there with your master and came up laughing and thankful! With your fear, that says a lot and I am so very happy for you! Big hugs!

DesFIP -> RE: Totality (9/21/2008 1:01:12 PM)
He's very lucky it went well. It could just have easily ended in panic attack, wild thrashing around, him losing grip, you drowning. The Man doesn't grandstand. He goes slow enough that the outcome is always assured. Which is why five years later here we still are.

SlaveIndigochild -> RE: Totality (9/21/2008 1:04:33 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: GreedyTop wow, Prinny.. that's awesome! hugs Greedy: we'll go to the seaside and paddle; it's a date ok? And yes, it counts as awesome what happened. Even if i had not had my dread of submersion it would have been awesome.

GreedyTop -> RE: Totality (9/21/2008 1:05:28 PM)
perfect, Prinny! smooch

SlaveIndigochild -> RE: Totality (9/21/2008 1:08:47 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Lockit Indigochild... all I can do is smile, that you went there with your master and came up laughing and thankful! With your fear, that says a lot and I am so very happy for you! Big hugs! Thank you Lockit. It was sensitivity to timing. It was more than just overcoming the water fear. Thanks for your hugs and generosity of spirit. It's difficult conveying the feeling to those on the outside of the dynamic.

completenz -> RE: Totality (9/21/2008 1:15:02 PM)
huge hug of understanding from me. The strength of our relationship allows me to face a similar fear on a daily basis. Proud of you[:)] hugs chrissie

SlaveIndigochild -> RE: Totality (9/21/2008 1:20:18 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: completenz huge hug of understanding from me. The strength of our relationship allows me to face a similar fear on a daily basis. Proud of you[:)] hugs chrissie That's four ice-creams on the sea-front then when you guys come around the world. The submersion was also symbolic of that that: about overcoming daily fears, rising to the occasion and facing all tasks given and expected with equanimity. i will figure out it's long-term significance as we go along. Hugs back atcha chrissie.

Lockit -> RE: Totality (9/21/2008 1:27:57 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SlaveIndigochild quote: ORIGINAL: Lockit Indigochild... all I can do is smile, that you went there with your master and came up laughing and thankful! With your fear, that says a lot and I am so very happy for you! Big hugs! Thank you Lockit. It was sensitivity to timing. It was more than just overcoming the water fear. Thanks for your hugs and generosity of spirit. It's difficult conveying the feeling to those on the outside of the dynamic. I think you did quite well. There is always more... more... more! lol I am very excited for you and all you are experiencing right now! I really wish you both all the best the world has to offer!

completenz -> RE: Totality (9/21/2008 1:58:05 PM)
Its a date!!! The icecreams AND the real hugs[:)] chrissie xox

IvyMorgan -> RE: Totality (9/21/2008 2:10:49 PM)
He put a collar on me. (Not as in "he collared me" but as in, "here is a collar" and then he put it on) Twas not wholly pleasant, as experiences go. And, nothing like how yours turned out, Prin smiles

SlaveIndigochild -> RE: Totality (9/21/2008 4:05:54 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: IvyMorgan He put a collar on me. (Not as in "he collared me" but as in, "here is a collar" and then he put it on) Twas not wholly pleasant, as experiences go. And, nothing like how yours turned out, Prin smiles i've had this happen...seems like years ago now but it was only about a year ago. i thought it was supposed to be highly significant and i read into it that it was at the time. But it was just the way it was and i should have trusted my instinct but my instinct was deeply buried at the time. what my instinct was telling me was that the collar meant little or nothing and so, as it happened, the relationship itself meant little or nothng. Rituals are as meaningful as the ritualists make them. i have no way of knowing if the rituals will each surpass the other but i have a feeling they will. He chose the running order. It's interesting that the collar comes fourth. A great deal of fear and pain will have been surpassed by then. Endurance, committment and surrender is therefore what it will all mean to me. Although in previous relationships i have endured, especially emotional pain, and i have been committed and not transgressed until after i have released myself and made that stand, i have never fully surrendered. Under the water, if i hadn't surrendered and had struggled in anyway, yes i would have breathed in water.

VivaciousSub -> RE: Totality (9/21/2008 4:31:36 PM)
Congratulations!!!!![sm=applause.gif] That is so wonderful. BIG HUGS

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Totality (9/21/2008 4:39:28 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SlaveIndigochild My questions is; what have you done, in your dynamic, which has furthered this deeper type of trust, either within the submissive position or from the dominant position in having your will obeyed? We spent all day inside, doing nothing but watching tv and reading the paper.

MzMia -> RE: Totality (9/21/2008 4:55:55 PM)
Thank you for sharing Indigochild![;)] I haven't had any experiences similar to this experience, YET! I am so happy that you have found a Master that you can serve, that makes you happy, makes you smile, and that you seem to love and enjoy!

lizcgirl -> RE: Totality (9/21/2008 5:01:10 PM)
Congrats!! That is a wonderful story and I'm so glad it went so well for you!! [:D] Things happen all the time in everyday situations to challenge your trust in another, it's wonderful that you were able to face a major fear and overcome it with Him, it'll make the everyday situations seem so easy in comparision! Best to you both!

windchymes -> RE: Totality (9/21/2008 5:12:10 PM)
Nice telling, and I love your new pic, indi [:)]

MzMia -> RE: Totality (9/21/2008 5:14:29 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: windchymes Nice telling, and I love your new pic, indi [:)] It is a lovely picture, windchymes. Indigo has been honest on these boards, and shared a lot about relationships that did not work out. This relationships seems to be working out, and she is beautiful, loved and happy! I am happy for her.[:D]

SlaveIndigochild -> RE: Totality (9/22/2008 12:02:11 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross quote: ORIGINAL: SlaveIndigochild My questions is; what have you done, in your dynamic, which has furthered this deeper type of trust, either within the submissive position or from the dominant position in having your will obeyed? We spent all day inside, doing nothing but watching tv and reading the paper. Given the state of the US economy i would rather be drowned lol. Seriously though: we don't watch television and don't buy newspapers. being informed about the crap doesn't make affirmative action to change it seem any easier for me these days.

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