RE: "Just lower your standards"

RE: "Just lower your standards" (Full Version)

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Ialdabaoth -> RE: "Just lower your standards" (9/21/2008 3:06:22 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyLupineNYC You are in a prison of your own making and, frankly, come off as deserving of that prison. Thank you for the honest moral appraisal. What can I do to be less deserving of it?

Ialdabaoth -> RE: "Just lower your standards" (9/21/2008 3:08:57 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Icarys I wouldn't say deserving to me that implies blame and it's not really helpful to blame. But are people who deserve blame really worthy of being helped? quote: To the OP I would say your gonna have to figure it out on your own. Your into what i might describe as an extreme end of a BDSM road, so just like all extremes your kinda out there with a smaller amount of people. So your choices are somewhat limited by your own hand. Your choice..Nothing wrong with it if that's what you really want. I'm also an extremist of sorts so i can relate.It isn't an easy road but well worth it in my book. Here's part of my problem - I don't see it as my choice. I can accept that it's my choice, but I'm asking for help or advice in how to choose differently. Does that make sense?

KnightofMists -> RE: "Just lower your standards" (9/21/2008 3:12:20 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Ialdabaoth Thank you for the honest moral appraisal. What can I do to be less deserving of it? I am not so sure that I would want you to be less deserving of it. I am not convinced by anything you have shared or express on these boards that you are remotely considerate of the well-being of those you want to be in a relationship with or could care and support the well-being of another. Hell... I am not even sure that you are caring for your own well-being... hardly bods well to caring for another... so... staying in the prison might be a good thing that will keep others from unneccessary mental, emotional and maybe even physical trama

Alexander48 -> RE: "Just lower your standards" (9/21/2008 3:12:37 PM)
Add me to the list of people who will not lower my standards. I am looking for "the one" (and only one) for me, and when I find her I sincerely hope both she and I understand and are grateful at how lucky we are to have found each other. That said, I do think that some people fail to realise that we are all human, with our own unique character strenghts and weaknesses. In an ideal world, we all would use our strenghts to make this planet a better place for all to live, and do our very best to work on overcoming our weaknesses. Alexander

LadyLupineNYC -> RE: "Just lower your standards" (9/21/2008 3:12:46 PM)
Far better people than I have tried to suggest options to you, which you have resoundly rejected. For the record, I am neither fascinated nor creeped out, just really really unimpressed- so, just maybe, that is a small improvement. Other then that, I have no idea why you keep asking for advise when you are disinterested in it. quote: ORIGINAL: Ialdabaoth quote: ORIGINAL: LadyLupineNYC You are in a prison of your own making and, frankly, come off as deserving of that prison. Thank you for the honest moral appraisal. What can I do to be less deserving of it?

catize -> RE: "Just lower your standards" (9/21/2008 3:12:55 PM)
You have very specific criteria. You are unwilling, or at least feel unable, to change those standards. The group of people who would fit within your criteria is very small. ( how many gymnasts are into BDSM?) You are willing to invest a lot of time to teach/mold a candidate to your criteria but are not interested in investing emotions. You expect the candidate to be willing to work very hard to become what you want, but not get emotionally attached to you. You grow impatient Perhaps it’s time to work on removing that “My heart will never be broken again” badge from your sleeve. Not saying that will help completely, but it’s a start.

Ialdabaoth -> RE: "Just lower your standards" (9/21/2008 3:13:22 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Venatrix It sounds like you want the female to provide everything and you will provide little or nothing in return. If she has that much to offer, she'll have her pick of men, and would, most likely, have little incentive to submit to someone who isn't offering much to her. So, you're back to square one: either wait or adjust your standards, or, better still, adjust your attitude. If you can't figure out how to do it, a bunch of strangers is unlikely to be able to tell you how. Things I am willing to offer: * I can take people with high potential and make them awesome. I.e., I can take people in the top 10% and put them in the top 1%. If afterwards they want nothing to do with me because they can get much, much better, I can understand this and hold no ill-will. * I can take people who are awesome and produce interesting and creative works of art. I am hoping to find people for whom that is a worthy goal in and of itself. * I can custom-design clothing, gear and equipment to accentuate and show off these talents. What else should I be offering? Money? Power? True Love?

Icarys -> RE: "Just lower your standards" (9/21/2008 3:13:26 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Ialdabaoth quote: ORIGINAL: Icarys I wouldn't say deserving to me that implies blame and it's not really helpful to blame. But are people who deserve blame really worthy of being helped? quote: To the OP I would say your gonna have to figure it out on your own. Your into what i might describe as an extreme end of a BDSM road, so just like all extremes your kinda out there with a smaller amount of people. So your choices are somewhat limited by your own hand. Your choice..Nothing wrong with it if that's what you really want. I'm also an extremist of sorts so i can relate.It isn't an easy road but well worth it in my book. Here's part of my problem - I don't see it as my choice. I can accept that it's my choice, but I'm asking for help or advice in how to choose differently. Does that make sense? Why wouldn't they be..are they less human for shortcomings or mistakes and anything else that they might have wrong? why exactly would you want to change?

hopelessfool -> RE: "Just lower your standards" (9/21/2008 3:14:23 PM)
Well, you have a choice, first kinky people are about say a third of the population. engagining in kink, not just a power exhange relationship. Of that maybe half of that third are female, and around 40 percent of that half are dominant. So you start out with say 100 females that are submissive. (I know the numbers are larger, but were working here with something easy for my head to not asplode.) So out of those 100 females MAYBE 20 are under a size 4. So of those 20 female 15 are flexable enough for you, and meet your other physcial standards. And of those 15 maybe 7 have the same kinks as you. Undoubtedly 4 of those are in commited relationships and the final three are saying fuck you, you have to give to get in life it all doesnt come to you for free. And then your left alone. Your in a smaller pond of fish to begin with, why would someone who can have anyone, settle or work for someone who is saying. Im never going to love you, Im just going to use you as I see fit. Im never going to marry you, Im never going to want children. Your sqashing the dreams of quite a few women with those statements right there. My advice? Dont look for "her". It very well might be she doesnt exist, but if its worth it your going to find her. It might take 40 years but how dedicated you are to finding her. DONT WORRY about the future. For example, in 5 years you might want marriage and children. In 10 you might want a fuller figured woman, in 2 months you might settle for any peice of ass that is remotely attractive in a skirt.What you vision as "perfect" will change over time, If it didnt Id still be lusting over some heartthrob on tv that i saw 10 years ago. Dont worry so much for Perfect, and find enjoyable, worry less about what pants size she wears and more about how dedicated she is.

Ialdabaoth -> RE: "Just lower your standards" (9/21/2008 3:14:55 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: KnightofMists I am not so sure that I would want you to be less deserving of it. I am not convinced by anything you have shared or express on these boards that you are remotely considerate of the well-being of those you want to be in a relationship with or could care and support the well-being of another. Hell... I am not even sure that you are caring for your own well-being... hardly bods well to caring for another... so... staying in the prison might be a good thing that will keep others from unneccessary mental, emotional and maybe even physical trama In that case, I could kill myself - if that would help.

KnightofMists -> RE: "Just lower your standards" (9/21/2008 3:16:16 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Ialdabaoth In that case, I could kill myself - if that would help. thanks for providing the behavior that only supports my position

Icarys -> RE: "Just lower your standards" (9/21/2008 3:16:40 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: catize You have very specific criteria. You are unwilling, or at least feel unable, to change those standards. The group of people who would fit within your criteria is very small. ( how many gymnasts are into BDSM?) You are willing to invest a lot of time to teach/mold a candidate to your criteria but are not interested in investing emotions. You expect the candidate to be willing to work very hard to become what you want, but not get emotionally attached to you. You grow impatient Perhaps it’s time to work on removing that “My heart will never be broken again” badge from your sleeve. Not saying that will help completely, but it’s a start. You've went right to where i was going. Obviously he's been hurt and doesn't want to get involved. Hey maybe you've recently changed your profile to something so extreme that hardly nobody will fit in?

Ialdabaoth -> RE: "Just lower your standards" (9/21/2008 3:16:46 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Icarys quote: ORIGINAL: Ialdabaoth But are people who deserve blame really worthy of being helped? Why wouldn't they be..are they less human for shortcomings or mistakes and anything else that they might have wrong? I think LadyLupine and KnightOfMists might have a better answer for that than I would.

MadRabbit -> RE: "Just lower your standards" (9/21/2008 3:17:36 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Ialdabaoth What I am going to say next is probably going to offend you. I'm okay with that. You probably won't be. But to be frankly honest, after reading a few of your past posts and the ones in this thread, you come off incredibly "whiny". It's been a constant bitchfest about "how things won't work" or "how you can't do that." I would reply to your responses to my post, but I don't feel like investing energy only to have it join the downward descent on this spiral of negativity and hopelessness you seem to be caught on.

Ialdabaoth -> RE: "Just lower your standards" (9/21/2008 3:17:51 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: KnightofMists quote: ORIGINAL: Ialdabaoth In that case, I could kill myself - if that would help. thanks for providing the behavior that only supports my position You're welcome. What kind of behavior would you rather see? Or is this also useful behavior for keeping me from doing any harm?

Ialdabaoth -> RE: "Just lower your standards" (9/21/2008 3:19:19 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MadRabbit I would reply to your responses to my post, but I don't feel like investing energy only to have it join the downward descent on this spiral of negativity and hopelessness you seem to be caught on. I'm really sorry about that. It's not my intent to be whiny, but I acknowledge that I'm doing it.

LadyLupineNYC -> RE: "Just lower your standards" (9/21/2008 3:19:51 PM)
I know of no submissive/slave who wishes to be..um...'awesome' so maybe that is not the best descriptive . Sounds like more of your list, your standards, your needs, your criteria. So, don't change, most agree with you, but also be prepaired to wait. quote: ORIGINAL: Ialdabaoth Things I am willing to offer: * I can take people with high potential and make them awesome. I.e., I can take people in the top 10% and put them in the top 1%. If afterwards they want nothing to do with me because they can get much, much better, I can understand this and hold no ill-will. * I can take people who are awesome and produce interesting and creative works of art. I am hoping to find people for whom that is a worthy goal in and of itself. * I can custom-design clothing, gear and equipment to accentuate and show off these talents. What else should I be offering? Money? Power? True Love?

Icarys -> RE: "Just lower your standards" (9/21/2008 3:20:40 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Ialdabaoth quote: ORIGINAL: MadRabbit I would reply to your responses to my post, but I don't feel like investing energy only to have it join the downward descent on this spiral of negativity and hopelessness you seem to be caught on. I'm really sorry about that. It's not my intent to be whiny, but I acknowledge that I'm doing it. Just take sometime off and catch your breathe. As long as it takes. Safe Journey's, Icarys.

MadRabbit -> RE: "Just lower your standards" (9/21/2008 3:22:29 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Icarys Just take sometime off and catch your breathe. As long as it takes. And work on some self esteem, because I would guess that's your number 1 biggest problem in attracting a mate.

windchymes -> RE: "Just lower your standards" (9/21/2008 3:23:32 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: NumberSix I cannot further lower my standards, they are abjectly subsumed as it is. 6 I thought you had to actually HAVE standards before you could lower them.....[8\|]

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