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Going to try again. - 9/24/2008 10:05:50 AM   
WorldofSilence


Posts: 114
Joined: 6/14/2006
Status: offline 		Hiya everyone.

I'm going to try again !! I've been on this site for a number of years now, and every once in a while I leave due to hardly finding anyone to chat with.

So it's that time again, to try again.

However it is bringing some problems to mind, I've been curious since I was 18, then when I was 20 I decided to take the plunge and try my hand at being the best Dom I can, brushed up on my research and attempted to "woo" some ladies, I'm quite well versed in most practises and I always swot up on the safety aspect first.

So 9 years later with one meet up and them generally saying they can't handle my disability.

What worries me now I'm 29 with the theory but none of the practical experience, I can't seem to think what can I offer now?  Surely someone who has been interested in the lifestyle for a number of years would have some experience, and I worry this might put people off as it might come across as embarrassing and what sub/slave wants a Dom with zero real experience at my age?   I'm confessing this because I'm true to myself enough to admit what I'm feeling.

So round... ermm some number heh :)

Going to attempt to be more active and chatty then before. :0)

I'm stubborn so trying again!

Regards.

WoS


< Message edited by WorldofSilence -- 9/24/2008 10:07:44 AM >

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RE: Going to try again. - 9/24/2008 10:21:44 AM   
opposingtwilight


Posts: 684
Joined: 6/13/2008
Status: offline 		Hi WoS!

What is that on your shoulder? Its cute, whatever it is.

Frankly, in my  opinion 29 is not -that- old for not having experience as a dominant. I cannot see why that would be an issue to anyone of substance. Personally, I tend to look at who a person is and how he treats those around him before I concern msyelf with how experienced he may be as a dominant. Dommly skills can be learned but it usually isn't worth the effort to deal with a piss poor personality.

Also, don't allow one person's inability to cope with what makes you different stop you from getting out there and meeting others. Best of luck and welcome (back) to the forums.


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RE: Going to try again. - 9/24/2008 10:47:35 AM   
Dnomyar


Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		Looks like a baby skunk.

(in reply to opposingtwilight)
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RE: Going to try again. - 9/24/2008 10:54:04 AM   
WorldofSilence


Posts: 114
Joined: 6/14/2006
Status: offline 		You'd be correct there Dnomyar :)

See I've resorted to putting in cute pictures of animals to get messages.... *laughs*

Seriously he was adorable, and I'm quite fond of him.


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"Beware Hearing loss. If found please return to owner.Been missing since 1981. Reward on return"

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RE: Going to try again. - 9/24/2008 10:54:40 AM   
SailingBum


Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
Status: offline 		ummm after 9 years of not finding someone just to talk to.  I'd forget about bdsm and really really focus on your social skils... but that's just me.

BadOne

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RE: Going to try again. - 9/24/2008 11:06:51 AM   
JewAndCelt


Posts: 110
Joined: 8/23/2008
From: Arkansas
Status: offline 		Well, all I can say is good luck.

I initially came to CM in '04 (I think - memory's the second thing to go), played around in the fora, and didn't really pick back up til a couple years ago. Although I specifially stated in my profile that I wasn't looking for anything at the moment, I began a dialogue with the girl I eventually married (April of this year).

You never know what'll happen, WoS. If it does, it does. Things have the habit of occurring when you least expect.

Again, good luck.

_____________________________

Maturity is patience. Mastery is nine times patience.


!!!!!!כי לא נולד הבן זונה שיעצור את ישראל

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RE: Going to try again. - 9/24/2008 11:14:13 AM   
WorldofSilence


Posts: 114
Joined: 6/14/2006
Status: offline 		SailingBum, has a valid point.

Well my social skills mainly consist of me doing most of the work. As I'm a lip reader, taught myself to speak in my teens. And often known as the joker, and the practical one.

That was the main reason the one person I met fled, she openly admitted she couldn't handle my communicational needs dispite being what I call "Well intentioned ie: Your Deafness would never bother me"   Which is just silly to be honest heh

I'm not quitting or running with my arms flailing, just curious mainly.


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"Beware Hearing loss. If found please return to owner.Been missing since 1981. Reward on return"

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RE: Going to try again. - 9/24/2008 11:16:28 AM   
WorldofSilence


Posts: 114
Joined: 6/14/2006
Status: offline 		JewandCelt. Congratulations :)

Thank you for sharing the story with me, gives a glimmer of hope.  I'm currently checking out where local munches meet, as the last one I had to leave because they were idiots heh

Thanks again.


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"Beware Hearing loss. If found please return to owner.Been missing since 1981. Reward on return"

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RE: Going to try again. - 9/24/2008 11:19:08 AM   
ShiftedJewel


Posts: 2492
Joined: 12/2/2004
Status: offline 		Welcome back WoS... long time no see!! Gosh, does that show how long I've been hanging around these boards??
 
Your "disability" isn't all that intimidating...Ok, so you have to do some things differently, big deal, so do most of us. For me... I'm still trying to figure out a way to scene and stay sitting!! I have great upper body strength, nice strong legs and feet of clay... lmao.
 
Anyway... I would try getting involved with a local group, even if it is just a munch group. Most have an online group going with message boards and such. And there is always big events like Spanksgiving and Beat me in St Louis, those types of events have dungeons going and volunteers to play. I would suggest you get involved in something around there and give people the chance to get to know you. I remember you posting before and you seem to be really great to talk to.
 
Just a thought.
 
Jewel

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RE: Going to try again. - 9/24/2008 11:19:33 AM   
persephonee


Posts: 5089
Joined: 12/15/2007
Status: offline 		~FR~
there are tons of people on these very fora who have yet to physically meet the subs they own...and that is not a slam on online relationships at all. Circumstances are what they are and experience is best done in person in my humble opinion, but im fortunate in that i can be realtime and be following my bliss. You are 29...not 99. You still have time...even today....get outside, find a person that is remotely attractive to you and communicate with that person. Voila!...life experience.
If experience in realtime is what you really want...focussing more than a little time online is not going to get you there. Your local community no matter how small is your best bet...get out there and just do it. (fukkn nike ads)
Good luck.

< Message edited by persephonee -- 9/24/2008 11:22:54 AM >

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You be the Captain; i'll be no one.

And You can carry me away....if You want to. ~Kasey Chambers

E*Whore, extraordinaire....

Nothing is exactly as it seems~Nor, is it otherwise.

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RE: Going to try again. - 9/24/2008 11:20:02 AM   
OttersSwim


Posts: 2860
Joined: 9/1/2008
Status: offline 		Welcome back.  :)

You mention your difference of deafness in your post as being a past concern.  I can see where the fact that you are deaf and a Dom might cause questions of how to communicate during play when your partner may be bound and potentially facing away.  I don't see it as a problem at all, but certainly something that you might want to address in your journal or profile.  I am sure you have considered it and would be very focused on reaction and response in your partner.  Some folk interested in contacting you might want to read your thoughts on it...just a thought. 


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RE: Going to try again. - 9/24/2008 11:23:13 AM   
ShiftedJewel


Posts: 2492
Joined: 12/2/2004
Status: offline 		Wow... I'm a slow typer today... lol
 
Anyway... to address the communication during a scene? It's really no different then the communication when the sub/bottom is gagged, is it? Put something in their hand and if it drops it's as good as a safe word.
 
Ok, that might be overly simplistic, but it's easy to over come.
 
Jewel

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RE: Going to try again. - 9/24/2008 11:36:51 AM   
WorldofSilence


Posts: 114
Joined: 6/14/2006
Status: offline 		Hiya Jewel!

Bloody hell! Long time :) *electronic hug*  I'm flattered you remembered me.

I'm lovable like that ;)

persephonee your advice is already being pre acted on, sending some emails to local groups and getting some feedback from them, I learnt that from last time heh

I totally agree, my personalty comes out best in person, as I do struggle at times with expressing myself well with written words (English is strictly my second language)

OttersSwim! Thank you, to be honest I didn't think of it because it's everyday life for me. So hard for me to see how others might view me, I will more then likely crack on with that.

See this is why I'm asking here as one head can only come up with some many ideas heh

Thank you again everyone, advice noted and being acted on :D


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"Beware Hearing loss. If found please return to owner.Been missing since 1981. Reward on return"

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RE: Going to try again. - 9/24/2008 12:23:05 PM   
ranja


Posts: 2111
Joined: 11/1/2007
Status: offline 		By lack of real meets; cyber is a very good subsitute or just different way of playing in my book and loss of hearing should not be a problem at all here, is it?

(in reply to WorldofSilence)
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RE: Going to try again. - 9/24/2008 1:14:36 PM   
azropedntied


Posts: 1829
Joined: 7/25/2005
From: Phx AZ
Status: offline 		W/B WoS  .. like Yoda says there is no try only do


(in reply to ranja)
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RE: Going to try again. - 9/24/2008 1:25:05 PM   
angelspassion4u


Posts: 632
Joined: 7/17/2006
From: Angels
Status: offline 		Good to see you back.  HUGS!!!!! smiles  For those who don't know WorldofSilence he is a good guy. I have chatted with him off and on for a long while in chat.  HUGS again

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"You can PLEASE some people some of the time, most people most of the time, but NEVER all the people all of the time."

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RE: Going to try again. - 9/24/2008 1:35:49 PM   
ebonygothica


Posts: 4
Joined: 9/16/2008
Status: offline 		It sucks that there are people that would judge you based on the status of a disability that is easy to work with. I once had a Dom who was hearing impaired, and we had different signs that we would use during play - and it was wonderful! It was also a challenge for me to remember to use the sign when necessary as opposed to speaking. As a result of my relations with him, I learned how to better communicate in sign language outside of our relationship.(ASL and SE)

All is not lost WOS - ^_^ It is possible to find someone out there ^_^.

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Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Going to try again. - 9/24/2008 1:53:20 PM   
BKSir


Posts: 4037
Joined: 4/8/2008
From: Salt Lake City, UT
Status: offline 		Well then, I think I would find a way to use such a thing to my advantage.  Example, no need for ball gags. Commands as well, 'If you wish to communicate with master, this is what you must do.'  Let it be part of your dominance, make them bend to you, to serve you.

Not to mention, the betterment of your sub.  Having skills such as knowing sign language is a very valuable thing, as well as improved comunication skills in general.

May I say, by the way, from what I've read from you, it's definitely not your interpersonal skills that seem to be the problem, nor is it your looks, by any means...  The problem, I think, is that you seem to be finding a lot of fakes who don't want to put the effort into being dominated.  I just hope that you don't give up hope, there is definitely someone out there who is looking for someone just like you.


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We'll begin with a spin, traveling in a world of my creation. What we'll see will defy explanation.

I am the voices in your head.

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RE: Going to try again. - 9/24/2008 2:13:40 PM   
amaidiamond


Posts: 1793
Joined: 2/6/2006
From: Watford / London
Status: offline 		WoS - You know me and what I think of You though I really can't answer your question as if I wasn't Engaged I'd snap You up in a heartbeat!

And as for interpersonal skills, You are one of the kindest, most caring, giving, wonderfull men I have ever met and deliciously twisted to boot. You have an understanding that goes way beyond 29. I remember when we were both pretty new to it all -  You were wonderful then and You are wonderful now.

In regards to looks..... Phwooorrrrrrr :D

(in reply to BKSir)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Going to try again. - 9/24/2008 2:23:39 PM   
CalifChick


Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline 		I find it a bit ironic, as a hearing person, that I've taught people that I've played with a few signs so that when I cannot speak (that whole inability-to-form-a-coherent-sentence thing), they know if there is a problem.  Specifically, "yes", "no", and "water".


Cali




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AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

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