i need advice (Full Version)

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sambamanslilgirl -> i need advice (9/25/2008 8:43:06 AM)

warning: this is meant in jest ... don't take it so seriously

it has come to my attention (for some time now) that i'm not an actual twue submissive. all this time i thought i was. i've tried so hard obtaining the covetted twue submissive status that i've failed miserably.

*crying*

please, i'm on my knees begging for the community's help and/or advice - how does this bad, rebellious lil girl become twue?

i want to be so twue for my Daddy...

thank you




DDraigeuraid -> RE: i need advice (9/25/2008 8:51:29 AM)

Read through the entire Dear Cali thread.  If that dosen't make you a twue sub, at least you'll get a few laughs.
Dragon




LadyEllen -> RE: i need advice (9/25/2008 9:24:47 AM)

The only solution is my one month, study from home (my home, to be precise), "Twue Submission" course. The next course will be running as soon as you can get here, and a Certificate is provided for satisfactory completion which you can show your Daddy and be the envy of your friends!

Just a single payment of $199.99, or take the easy payment option of 200 payments of $9.99 - I'm sure I wont be disappointed with the results!





GreedyTop -> RE: i need advice (9/25/2008 9:28:32 AM)

*signs up for LadyE's course*




LadyEllen -> RE: i need advice (9/25/2008 9:31:31 AM)

Oh no GT! You're not getting into Fortress Britain that easily!

Anyway, it wouldnt work; the whole month chatting and laughing - we'd never get through the course, and people might get the idea it lacked credibility!

E




GreedyTop -> RE: i need advice (9/25/2008 9:33:56 AM)

*sobs*

(it would be fun though.. :* )




LadyEllen -> RE: i need advice (9/25/2008 9:39:25 AM)

Certainly would! Have you tried a student visa?

Its one of the oldest scams around; I start the "Lady Ellen College of Whatever" and offer an English language course. Would be entrants to the UK sign up for the course and get their student visas on the strength of it - even though there's no college and no course! Once here, said entrants disappear off the radar and are rarely found - but it does mean living off-grid so its not all roses!

E




GreedyTop -> RE: i need advice (9/25/2008 9:44:14 AM)

*runs to DL student visa forms*




beargonewild -> RE: i need advice (9/25/2008 10:40:18 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyEllen

The only solution is my one month, study from home (my home, to be precise), "Twue Submission" course. The next course will be running as soon as you can get here, and a Certificate is provided for satisfactory completion which you can show your Daddy and be the envy of your friends!

Just a single payment of $199.99, or take the easy payment option of 200 payments of $9.99 - I'm sure I wont be disappointed with the results!




Do you take money orders or bank drafts? can I send it in Canadian currency?





beargonewild -> RE: i need advice (9/25/2008 10:48:52 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: sambamanslilgirl

warning: this is meant in jest ... don't take it so seriously

it has come to my attention (for some time now) that i'm not an actual twue submissive. all this time i thought i was. i've tried so hard obtaining the covetted twue submissive status that i've failed miserably.

*crying*

please, i'm on my knees begging for the community's help and/or advice - how does this bad, rebellious lil girl become twue?

i want to be so twue for my Daddy...

thank you


Sambasis......there are several criteria you must meet before you are allowed to advance to being a twue subbie

1 - Send Lady E and myself a tribute of $299.99 to both of us.
2 - Write a ten page essay on why you feel you are fit to be a twue submissive. This must include a bibliography, footnotes and notarized by 5 Dominants.
3 - Hand over all passwords to email, online accounts to all the sites you have an account with and a signed and verified current bank account(s)
4 - You must send 10-20 emails to myself and Lady E each day stating what you are doing, how you are feeling and in return we will send you lists of chores you must obey.
5 - We require that you always be on your knees when you approach us, this means in public also.

*note - more to come*




missturbation -> RE: i need advice (9/25/2008 11:11:24 AM)

quote:

it has come to my attention (for some time now) that i'm not an actual twue submissive.


Never were truer words spoken in jest [:D]




SteelofUtah -> RE: i need advice (9/25/2008 11:18:44 AM)

Okay so there are a few different things that can be done. I will mention all the ones that don't Violate TOS.

You can give me tribute of an unsecured American Express Card and keep it paid off monthly because a twue sub would want to act as if they had a lobotomy
 
You can go to Wal-Mart and Purchace a TOP OF THE LINE Web Cam and then Purchace Grotesquely Large Dildos and Genitalia Torture Devices and broadcast the feed openly to anyone I decide is worthy to watch because a twue sub would want all of the "Searching for nasty sluts" yahoo chat room to watch you defile your vagina
 
You can accompany me to a party where the ratio of men calling themselves Masters to girls willing to do what they are told is 75 to 1 and then service all my "Close Personal Friends" to show how willing you are to surrender to my will because a twue sub needs a VD or STD and Random Screenings just for fun

You can meet me in an abandoned warehouse (you know for atmosphere) then get onto the oddly stained and beat up medicle examiners table (you know for sensory involvement) and then let me strap you down while I go about filling 55 gallon drums with Bleach because all twue subs give thier trust and devotion completely on the first visit

You can meet me in a hotel room for a wild night of Anal Sex and Roofies (some for me some for you we'll figure out the order when you get there) and then you can go back home and we can continue to talk but only after 10pm and before 5pm and only every other weekend when oddly enough I'm always doing a side job because all twue subs are retarded and can't tell when the man they are screwing in hotel rooms are really married.

So just gimme a call and we'll set up a time and I'l hand you your Twue Sub University Diploma, the Card to a Good VD doctor in your area, and the ball pin hammer to bash yourself in the temple with until the brain damage is sufficent to make you believe any of the above is a GOOD idea.

Steel




GreedyTop -> RE: i need advice (9/25/2008 11:21:14 AM)

*smoooches Steel*




Sundowner -> RE: i need advice (9/25/2008 11:52:44 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: sambamanslilgirl

... i've tried so hard obtaining the covetted twue submissive status that i've failed miserably.

*crying*

... i'm on my knees begging


samba - first thing is ignore all offers for help involving payment. Posts from Lady E and bear and Steel are probably wicked forgeries; the real Lady E and bear and Steel would never ask you for money! And take care with the scary misst - unless you like slippery wriggly items; I've checked the manual and it clearly states that, whilst firmly acceptable, it is NOT a requirement for submissives to pop wrigglies up their pussies to be considered twue.

Fortunately, and by mere coincidence, my course requires no money changing hands, simply total devotion, and involves no wrigglies.

I feel you have clear potential - sobbing is good, on the knees is good. A sense of failure is a tricky one; the general idea of worthlessness can be good, but a twue sub takes pride in her submission. You must work at this. Maybe the old stand-in-front-of-the-mirror thing where you tell yourself "every day in every way I am becoming more and more submissive"? After a week try the daring addition of "... twuely I am".

But I feel also you have a long way to go - you wisely sense you're not twue but I note you haven't mentioned anything about weal submission. Until you're ready to explore weality you only qualify for novice status. (Sowwy - it's a hard road you travel).





sirsholly -> RE: i need advice (9/25/2008 11:55:42 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: SteelofUtah
 
You can go to Wal-Mart and Purchace a TOP OF THE LINE Web Cam and then Purchace Grotesquely Large Dildos and Genitalia Torture Devices...



Damn...I never knew Walmart sold that stuff [:)]




purepleasure -> RE: i need advice (9/25/2008 11:59:13 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly

quote:

ORIGINAL: SteelofUtah
 
You can go to Wal-Mart and Purchace a TOP OF THE LINE Web Cam and then Purchace Grotesquely Large Dildos and Genitalia Torture Devices...


Damn...I never knew Walmart sold that stuff [:)]



In the sporting goods dept.  Most people call them baseball bats, and they will also serve as a cane if need be.  Baseballs can be used as makeshift benwa balls, and archery arrows can be used for play piercing in a pinch.




Sundowner -> RE: i need advice (9/25/2008 12:02:37 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: purepleasure

... In the sporting goods dept.  Most people call them baseball bats, and they will also serve as a cane if need be.  Baseballs can be used as makeshift benwa balls, and archery arrows can be used for play piercing in a pinch.




You, young lady, are entirely too perverted to be pure.  [sm=shame.gif]




SteelofUtah -> RE: i need advice (9/25/2008 12:08:28 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyEllen


Just a single payment of $199.99, or take the easy payment option of 200 payments of $9.99 - I'm sure I wont be disappointed with the results!




I just like that if you take the easy payment plan you end up paying her $1998.00 That was BEAUTIFUL!!

Apparently to be a Twue Sub you better suck at Math so you don't know how badly you are getting screwed.

LMAO

Steel




purepleasure -> RE: i need advice (9/25/2008 12:14:25 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Sundowner

quote:

ORIGINAL: purepleasure

... In the sporting goods dept.  Most people call them baseball bats, and they will also serve as a cane if need be.  Baseballs can be used as makeshift benwa balls, and archery arrows can be used for play piercing in a pinch.




You, young lady, are entirely too perverted to be pure.  [sm=shame.gif]


Thank you for noticing, Mr. Sundowner.  Coming from you, I shall take that as a compliment.




purepleasure -> RE: i need advice (9/25/2008 12:25:54 PM)

As for being a twue submissive, I believe it also involves typing in 3rd person in extremely large pink font.  Although, if you do, do this, the rest of us twue subs will despise you.




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