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RE: When you question where you fit in this lifestyle - 9/26/2008 10:34:58 AM

oceanwynds

Posts: 1044
Joined: 8/24/2006
Status: offline

i havent done my profile. Yes i can say am a submissive learning to completely surrender to One and the rest would be about me brewing up something in the kitchen with my cauldron. Someday i might make a profile, but hard to define me.

thank you for replying to my post
oceanwynds

(in reply to michaelOfGeorgia)

Post #: 21

RE: When you question where you fit in this lifestyle - 9/26/2008 10:37:03 AM

oceanwynds

Posts: 1044
Joined: 8/24/2006
Status: offline

Thank you for letting me know what those initials mean. i been search and could not find them. Thank for letting me know how you feel. That is important to me.

blessings
oceanwynds

(in reply to hlen5)

Post #: 22

RE: When you question where you fit in this lifestyle - 9/26/2008 10:39:51 AM

michaelOfGeorgia

Posts: 4253
Status: offline

no problem. of course, i don't think my update will make me very popular (not that i was in the first place)

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(in reply to oceanwynds)

Post #: 23

RE: When you question where you fit in this lifestyle - 9/26/2008 3:52:01 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: oceanwynds

i do wish sometimes i had another submissive to talk to during times of confusion. i have tried chat rooms but many of the submissives i met just could not relate to my relationship. These forums have answered a lot of questions for me and i am forever grateful. Still there is a longing to have a submissive to talk to one on one when i have struggles in my growth of a submissive.

Read the forums and after a while you should find yourself nodding your head in agreement when one poster writes. Once you've identified who you resonate with, write her. Tell her you found her post on whatever thread to really speak to you, and would she mind giving her opinion on a problem you have.

I don't know anyone who isn't delighted to have someone write and say "you're so wise" lol, and who won't therefore write back.

Plus you can always put it up on the boards. If you tend to ask a focused question, you get less sniping.

One other thing, if you ever are tempted to ask if anyone else ever felt this way, remember the answer to that is always yes. No matter how odd you may feel, be sure that we have all felt just like you on occasion.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to oceanwynds)

Post #: 24

RE: When you question where you fit in this lifestyle - 9/26/2008 8:07:11 PM

oceanwynds

Posts: 1044
Joined: 8/24/2006
Status: offline

Thank you for the suggestions. I really appreciate them

Blessings
oceanwynds

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 25

RE: When you question where you fit in this lifestyle - 9/28/2008 9:05:10 AM

babygurlrides

Posts: 90
Joined: 8/13/2008
Status: offline

Why is it that whenever I visit these forums, I seem to find exaxctly what I need to hear/read, whether I like to or not! I certainly dont mean to minimize your feelings oceanwynds! On one hand, I understand completely what you say when you say you feel like you dont fit in. Yet.. on the other hand, when I read your post, I felt much jealousy because I wish to be able to give of myself the way you do. I thought your description of yourself to be beautiful, and I hope that others who have posted in response have reassured you that you have your place here.

_____________________________

I'd call you a cunt, but you lack both the depth and the warmth!
(my favorite t-shirt slogan)

(in reply to oceanwynds)

Post #: 26

RE: When you question where you fit in this lifestyle - 9/28/2008 9:41:35 AM

TheEvilBstardsMo

Posts: 41
Joined: 8/3/2005
Status: offline

Thank you for this starting this post. I, too, have struggled recently on where I fit in. The posts are supportive and positive. Bottom line, if we remember the concepts of acceptance, respect, and personal differences, we can all 'fit in' and learn from each other.

(in reply to babygurlrides)

Post #: 27

RE: When you question where you fit in this lifestyle - 9/28/2008 9:44:02 AM

michaelOfGeorgia

Posts: 4253
Status: offline

i don't fit anywhere...i'm unique

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Post #: 28

RE: When you question where you fit in this lifestyle - 9/28/2008 12:43:45 PM

oceanwynds

Posts: 1044
Joined: 8/24/2006
Status: offline

Thank you babygurlrides
Those where really nice things to say. Yes, sometimes i just don't feel i fit, but i dont sometimes fit with me either. Usually find this connected to growth periods though. Nice to meet you and again thank you
oceanwynds

(in reply to babygurlrides)

Post #: 29

RE: When you question where you fit in this lifestyle - 9/28/2008 12:45:07 PM

oceanwynds

Posts: 1044
Joined: 8/24/2006
Status: offline

Hi Evil
Nice to meet you. Yes we all fit somewhere, even if it is soley unique , which i don't really believe in.

oceanwynds

(in reply to TheEvilBstardsMo)

Post #: 30

RE: When you question where you fit in this lifestyle - 9/28/2008 12:48:01 PM

oceanwynds

Posts: 1044
Joined: 8/24/2006
Status: offline

But Michael perhaps you fit into the solely unique group :)

we are all unique and we are all alike, just sometimes we get caught up in being different. For me that part can be dangerous, because it leads me to putting blocks around me where others can't enter. Then who is to blame but me.
blessings
oceanwynds

(in reply to michaelOfGeorgia)

Post #: 31

RE: When you question where you fit in this lifestyle - 9/28/2008 12:53:38 PM

ITGirl68

Posts: 116
Joined: 7/25/2005
Status: offline

Thank you for starting this thread - so many of us (including me) seem to have felt that we didn't clearly fit in, based on how some others define WIITWD. Hearing so many echo this feeling is encouraging!

What you do with your partner seems to work for you both, so clearly you fit with him. I begin to realize that it doesn't matter what others think is real (or "twue") submission; what matters is what works for us and for the dominant partners with whom we share ourselves - or with whom we hope to share ourselves.

Thanks, again.

- Angel

(in reply to oceanwynds)

Post #: 32

RE: When you question where you fit in this lifestyle - 9/28/2008 2:24:54 PM

catize

Posts: 3020
Joined: 3/7/2006
Status: offline

This is something I wrote awhile ago and hope it helps you.
There are a certain percentage of people, myself included, who are not capable of, or at least have never found a deeply abiding ‘love’ connection with another. Monogamy, 24/7 is not everyone’s goal. I would, however, define the bond I do have with the two dominants in my life as much more than casual and not just sport.
I am quite content with the way my life is, I am more than satisfied to participate in wiitwd part time. These two men have helped me reach within myself to find joy in submitting to them. I have discovered deep wells of giving that I did not know I possessed. Whenever I am in the presence of one of them, they then have power over all that I am; they own that fountain of service.
And when we part, we are smiling.
To those who consider the way I interact with these two men as “only play”, I say perhaps it is, but it is play with substance. It is real because we are real people doing things our way.
My life is a jig saw puzzle, the picture of who I am and the people in my life emerge from the interlocking solid pieces. Each piece is substantial on its own but creates the whole.

_____________________________

"Power is real. But it's a lot less real if it's not perceived as power."
Robert Parker, Stranger in Paradise

(in reply to oceanwynds)

Post #: 33

RE: When you question where you fit in this lifestyle - 9/28/2008 4:12:06 PM

seaspirit

Posts: 2
Joined: 9/28/2008
Status: offline

quote:

I begin to realize that it doesn't matter what others think is real (or "twue") submission; what matters is what works

Thanks, Angel, for sharing that wonderful thought! I imagine there as many ways to truly submit as there are people...

Oceanwynds, I wonder if going to a munch, where people with similar interests meet in real life just to socialize, might help you feel a sense of belonging to a supportive community. I have found that just meeting people in real life who are also into BDSM has made me feel less lonely. I haven't personally been to a munch, but a couple of ppl I know love going. What I did was to meet in real life some ppl with whom I talk online. We had exchanged email for awhile, just about ordinary things, to get to know one another. Then, we met for coffee/tea/soda. Once I was able to put a real, live, breathing person with a "handle," I think it helped me to feel part of a real community of ppl with similar interests. I'm thinking of maybe going to a munch, too... Thanks for starting this thread, Oceanwynds! I've really enjoyed reading everyone's thoughts and ideas.

(in reply to catize)

Post #: 34

RE: When you question where you fit in this lifestyle - 9/28/2008 4:13:28 PM

michaelOfGeorgia

Posts: 4253
Status: offline

i'm just extremely picky, i think...not sure though

_____________________________

Are we having fun, yet?

(in reply to oceanwynds)

Post #: 35

RE: When you question where you fit in this lifestyle - 9/28/2008 6:25:01 PM

oceanwynds

Posts: 1044
Joined: 8/24/2006
Status: offline

Thank you everyone for your posts and offering me words to think on. It was really appreciated by me that each of you took a moment to respond.

oceanwynds

(in reply to michaelOfGeorgia)

Post #: 36

RE: When you question where you fit in this lifestyle - 9/28/2008 8:15:40 PM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: oceanwynds

i accept that i am a submissive and am in tune with my need to serve Sir. i have completely surrender to what He needs and what He wants from me. i have accepted that i am committed to serving Sir, without any form of commitment from Him. i am fine with not calling Him my anything, nor wearing a collar. i am fine about living alone and exploring other aspects of me, as well as when we do get to spend time together. i accept him for all that is part of his personality make-up, good and the bad. i am happy with all this. Yet something perplexes me; where do i fit in with a BDSM/Ds/Ms community? The extent of my submission to Sir seems alien to others, since i am not own by him in any way, shape or form. Through these two years plus, our relationship has worked well for both of us, and it has only been the two of us. He states he is not my Dom. etc. and am free to do as i wish. i do just that, serve him. i am active in my life and have friends of different walks of life, yet i really don't have any submissive friends, which is something i would like. It has been a complicated journey for me, and have learned a lot from these forums, but i don't know where i fit in. Have any of you wondered where you fit in? Have you found ways to resolve the feeling of being on the outside looking in?
Thank you for reading this. i do hope my thoughts were stated clear.
Blessings
oceanwynds

I have found that my new catch phrase is this "It Is What It Is"....

It is what it is, our relationships, our job, our beliefs, our feelings... etc. ... no sense in getting caught up in it. Your relationship is what it is, be happy, rejoice in it, and if you find that it is less than what you may want then change it. Or don't!

I am what I am, it is what it is, and that approach makes me happy with most things

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to oceanwynds)

Post #: 37

RE: When you question where you fit in this lifestyle - 9/28/2008 9:12:11 PM

stella41b

Posts: 4258
Joined: 10/16/2007
From: SW London (UK)
Status: offline

I never question where I fit in 'this lifestyle', but just accept that all this fits somehow in 'my lifestyle'.

OMG, is that you juliaoceania?

Long time no see. How are you? Welcome back..

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(in reply to oceanwynds)

Post #: 38

RE: When you question where you fit in this lifestyle - 9/28/2008 10:18:40 PM

MasterFireMaam

Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline

You might enjoy this yahoo group: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/BornSlaves/

You might also enjoy the forums on this site: http://www.seekdiscipline.com/boards/

There are others who are like you. :-)

Master Fire

_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
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BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to oceanwynds)

Post #: 39

RE: When you question where you fit in this lifestyle - 9/29/2008 5:36:00 AM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: stella41b

OMG, is that you juliaoceania?

Long time no see. How are you? Welcome back..

Yes it is me, and I am wonderful. I hope you are well too

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to stella41b)

Post #: 40

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