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Subs: opinions on inexperienced doms - 12/2/2005 7:17:25 AM   
boltaction


Posts: 53
Joined: 12/1/2005
Status: offline 		Hello.

I am 22 and live in oregon. I have not had many relationships because I used to be self conscious about what I wanted in a relationship, which is to dominate over the woman and discipline her. This is just my natural thing.

Anyways, I have pretty much no experience, but that is all I fantasize about. As a sub, how does this affect your perception of the relationship and interest in having one?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Subs: opinions on inexperienced doms - 12/2/2005 7:25:20 AM   
starshineowned


Posts: 1551
Joined: 4/19/2005
From: Texas
Status: offline 		Greetings..~smiles~

Just wish to ask for alittle clarification from you Boltaction if may:


Does being in control..the need to Dominate the relationship stem in your opinion naturally from you?..or does it just feel good for it to be that way because it gets you sexually excited to have that exchange?

starshine
Happy slave of Master Delvin

(in reply to boltaction)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Subs: opinions on inexperienced doms - 12/2/2005 7:31:38 AM   
boltaction


Posts: 53
Joined: 12/1/2005
Status: offline 		Thanks for responding Starshine.

It is definately the latter. I do not find it natural to call the shots all the time outside the bedroom. It is sexually gratifying to control and discipline in a sexual situation.

< Message edited by boltaction -- 12/2/2005 7:35:36 AM >

(in reply to starshineowned)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Subs: opinions on inexperienced doms - 12/2/2005 10:22:20 AM   
littleone35


Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline 		Well personally i pefer experienced Doms but ther are some girls who like an inexperiened Doms. So even though you are not personally wha i am lookinf for i am sure ther is a sub out there who will suit you to a T. Good luck in your search.

littleone

(in reply to boltaction)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Subs: opinions on inexperienced doms - 12/2/2005 10:48:49 AM   
sub4hire


Posts: 6775
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		If I were looking and you were open minded about learning it would mean nothing to me.
Reason being I don't know of anyone I ever met while searching who matched my interests perfectly.
So, that means someone is going to have to learn something.

If you have to learn anyway what is the difference if you learn a lot or a little?

For instance when I met my dom he used a specific spanking technique that would produce a welt within seconds.
I knew a local dom whose technique I knew I loved from experience...so I asked my dom if he would be willing to learn.
He said yes so we set up a play session/learning experience for him.

(in reply to boltaction)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Subs: opinions on inexperienced doms - 12/2/2005 10:56:24 AM   
boltaction


Posts: 53
Joined: 12/1/2005
Status: offline 		I really appreciate all the responses, I am sure you all know how alone it can feel if you aren't "in" the community. The thing is I would prefer a relationship where we could both share the power outside the bedroom, while leaving the kink in the bedroom or at parties. Maybe I am looking for a mostly normal relationship! I bet there are many who feel the exact same way. Well, getting an opinion from this crowd makes me feel secure about the whole thing. Thanks.

(in reply to sub4hire)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Subs: opinions on inexperienced doms - 12/2/2005 10:56:44 AM   
Littlepita


Posts: 1430
Joined: 10/6/2005
Status: offline 		My Sir has no experience in dominating inside a D/s relationship and I'm happy with it. I don't have any experience either. So we get the fun of learning it all together.

_____________________________

“I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naive or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman.” – Anais Nin

(in reply to sub4hire)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Subs: opinions on inexperienced doms - 12/2/2005 1:44:40 PM   
sweetpettjenny


Posts: 674
Joined: 11/7/2004
Status: offline 		It would be perfectly fine as long as he wanted the same in life as i

(in reply to boltaction)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Subs: opinions on inexperienced doms - 12/2/2005 2:11:38 PM   
slavejali


Posts: 2918
Status: offline 		As its just bedroom play you want, your probably attractive to a lot of women. There are lots of woman out there who like to have fun in the bedroom. Have fun learning and experimenting together.
The women you wont attract are the ones who want the full blown D/s M/s experience in life.

(in reply to sweetpettjenny)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Subs: opinions on inexperienced doms - 12/2/2005 2:30:13 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Unless you are lucky, it's going to be very hard starting out to find a good sub partner to help grow with you/lead you up as a dom.

But go out, learn what you can, go to clubs and just be yourself.

(in reply to boltaction)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Subs: opinions on inexperienced doms - 12/2/2005 4:11:36 PM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

But go out, learn what you can, go to clubs and just be yourself.


This is the best advice there is. Be yourself, be honest with not only yourself, but with others also.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Subs: opinions on inexperienced doms - 12/2/2005 5:42:14 PM   
perverseangelic


Posts: 2625
Joined: 2/2/2004
From: Davis, Ca
Status: offline 		Be honest with your potential partner.

My first partner had no experience, nor has my second. With my first, we ended up realizing that he (and his primary partner) were both switches. Didn't affect our relationship, but was certainly interesting. With him, the big worry was that he tended to hit too hard without being sure of what he was doing. That was something that made me a little warry, -because- he was new to the tools. It required a lot of communication on my end to help him learn his craft better. But knowing he was as new as I helped us make that work.

With my lifepartner, it's been a constant series of conflicts and resolutions. When we got together he had no experience, nor, really any indeendant desire, and I'd been at this for some time. It's been a growning experience. I think that the biggest thing is to have very open communication. Also, to realize that the thigns that sound great in fantasy, often don't play out as well as you think they will.

_____________________________

~in the begining it is always dark~

(in reply to IrishMist)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Subs: opinions on inexperienced doms - 12/2/2005 6:33:44 PM   
fastlane


Posts: 2159
Joined: 5/26/2005
Status: offline 		Get the hell out while you still can. See, you are already confused and it will only get worse.

Now, where the hell is my cane? I'm going to beat you arse!

_____________________________

Just because it hurts, doesn't necessarily make it a bad thing.

(in reply to perverseangelic)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Subs: opinions on inexperienced doms - 12/2/2005 7:15:29 PM   
BlueAngelSub


Posts: 49
Joined: 8/8/2005
Status: offline 		As an experienced sub. I would be miserable throught the experience.

(in reply to boltaction)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Subs: opinions on inexperienced doms - 12/2/2005 7:43:45 PM   
pawschan


Posts: 25
Joined: 11/26/2005
Status: offline 		My Master, and myself, have very little expierience. We are enjoying learning and exploring this together. ^^ I think there is no problem with being with someone inexpierienced so long as eveyrone is careful and safe.

(in reply to BlueAngelSub)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Subs: opinions on inexperienced doms - 12/2/2005 9:31:42 PM   
perverseangelic


Posts: 2625
Joined: 2/2/2004
From: Davis, Ca
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: fastlane

Get the hell out while you still can. See, you are already confused and it will only get worse.

Now, where the hell is my cane? I'm going to beat you arse!


Oooo. Was that dirrected to me?! I feel special! :)

The confused -is- pretty confusing, but we're workin' on it, and definatly doing some growing.


quote:

ORIGINAL: BlueAngelSub

As an experienced sub. I would be miserable throught the experience.


I'm not meaning to be an ass, but I'm honestly curious. Why would this be miserable?

Honest curiosity here, and I can definatly see where the problems lie, god knows we've encountered enough of them, but I'm curious as to another's opinion.

< Message edited by perverseangelic -- 12/2/2005 9:32:58 PM >

_____________________________

~in the begining it is always dark~

(in reply to fastlane)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Subs: opinions on inexperienced doms - 12/3/2005 3:19:26 AM   
spikex


Posts: 12
Joined: 11/26/2005
From: Brussels, Belgium
Status: offline 		Im an inexperienced sub myself, and I wouldnt mind it if a mistress was inexperienced, especially if she was around my age, that way we could learn and grow together.

(in reply to perverseangelic)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Subs: opinions on inexperienced doms - 12/3/2005 5:20:47 AM   
sunshine333


Posts: 203
Joined: 8/16/2005
Status: offline 		we're all inexperienced in a new relationship. it doesn't matter how many partners in and out of the lifestyle anyone has had. meeting someone new and getting to know them puts us all in the beginner catagory. and on that level, there's no need to feel at a disadvantage.

if there are specific techniques you'd like to learn like flogging, whipping ... etc. you might want to look in your area for classes and workshops.

good luck and enjoy the process.

humbly,
sunshine

(in reply to boltaction)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Subs: opinions on inexperienced doms - 12/3/2005 6:08:08 AM   
fyreredsub


Posts: 3403
Joined: 10/7/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: boltaction

Hello.

I am 22 and live in oregon. I have not had many relationships because I used to be self conscious about what I wanted in a relationship, which is to dominate over the woman and discipline her. This is just my natural thing.

Anyways, I have pretty much no experience, but that is all I fantasize about. As a sub, how does this affect your perception of the relationship and interest in having one?


for myself, i need a strong master. or i will run the show.....i need consistancy........along w/ that strength or i will fail...as my good friends say...or i will eat a lessor man for lunch..........

< Message edited by fyreredsub -- 12/3/2005 6:09:22 AM >

_____________________________

"Accordingly, men must then either fulfill their nature, or deny it, and in denying their nature, deny us ours, for ours is the complement to theirs. " Renegades

(in reply to boltaction)
Profile   Post #: 19
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