RE: Revealing Profiles? (Full Version)

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truesub4u -> RE: Revealing Profiles? (12/2/2005 7:44:17 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: ExistentialSteel

I find it far more insightful to read someone's journal. Profiles are static whereas a journal provides views of the person in various situations. None of us are one sided. I often receive comments about something I enter or attrack an admirer now and then from something I write. LIkewise I will follow other's journals and come to feel as if I know them personally.


This I agree with... I too have at least gotten some pretty nice e-mails stating that I am at least honest in my thoughts, and should not allow no one to change my way of thinking on what is written in my Journals. (Not that i see that ever happening.. LOL)

So that at least sometimes.. the journals.. are another way of giving more iformation on ones self... and informing others and how they feel about certain things...

Thank you ES



OscarHargraves -> RE: Revealing Profiles? (12/2/2005 8:46:03 PM)

A good post and a good idea. We all want to talk about ourselves but your point is well taken. We DO need to say more about what we can offer someone else and what we will do for them.

Thanks !!



ProDominatrice -> RE: Revealing Profiles? (12/2/2005 9:30:54 PM)

Well profiles are kinda like an introduction to the site. If a master/mistress knows what the sub/slave wants he/she can decide whether or not they are the right person to work with them. Then they can e-mail the sub/slave for more info.



Padriag -> RE: Revealing Profiles? (12/2/2005 10:56:30 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: truesub4u
Why is it, we all announce for the most part what we seek, but state nothing about what we may give in return to the one that seeks us out?

I think in many it is outright selfishness... there are a lot of people looking to have their personal fantasy fulfilled... except they haven't really thought it through as to how that is going to work over the long term. Don't get me wrong, fantasies are great and I've got plenty of them. But some fantasies will never be anything other than just that, they aren't something you could make real in practical terms. I think a lot of people just don't see that difference.

I think also some folks have no idea how to write a profile. Some folks have come to me and asked me to help them with theirs. Now I refuse to write a profile for someone, but I will give them advice and suggestions to point them in the right direction, but it has to be in their own words. One thing I have heard from most is they don't know how to describe themselves, aren't comfortable describing who they are, what they want, etc. And it doesn't seem to occur to them to put in there things whoever is reading their profile might be interested in. Add that to the list of reasons for one sided profiles.

Here's a tip btw, when writing a profile I suggest asking and answering four basic questions. Who are you, Why are you here, What do you want, and What do you offer. When you answer those quesitons, try to look at what you write from the point of view of someone else reading it... what might someone else think of it, what question might they want to ask and did you answer them?

The journal feature is a great thing and many neglect it. Like ExistentialSteel said, it can give you a glimpse into who the person really is, a wider perspective on their personality. Its also a nice place to put your own thoughts, share more about yourself, etc. As a dominant who is looking for a potential slave I can say I'm always more impressed with submissive profiles that use their journal than those that don't.

I'm also more impressed with those who do two other things in their profile. They do talk about what they have to offer, not just what they want. And they also share some of who they are as a person, beyond being submissive.



fldrkhorse -> RE: Revealing Profiles? (12/3/2005 5:03:49 AM)

This is a difficult medium for communication. It's very easy to be misunderstood. Many of these posting come across very aggressive, and as I stated earlier negative, and I wonder if that's how they are meant to be. This is a great opportunity to exchange information and experiences. This is the place for the inexperienced to learn, ask, and understand. This is the place where expectations, protocols, and fears can be discussed and hopefully overcome, or atleast be made aware of. And since there are no other means for judgement, the reader interprets what is said, how its written, worded, puntuation and grammar, and length to be a reflection of that person. There are no right or wrong answers and no one should be admonished if they disagree. But these posts are a reflection of our true selves, whether we choose to see that or not. As a young rebellious teen I had a confrontation with my father where I stated I was not like my friends. I didn't do the things they did or get in the trouble they did. He told me, "if you look at the people around you, you'll always see yourself." The same came be made of the posts. If you look at what we write and how we write it, it is a reflection of who we are.



QuietMaster4u -> RE: Revealing Profiles? (12/3/2005 9:58:17 PM)

The best read profile I have seen here, was the one that was blank. It had a picture of a young woman on a quarter ride in front of a store. It had basic information (age, location, etc), but the profile field was blank. I wrote to her, and asked why?

She said she did it because, it was easier to simply reply to the messages. Rather than try to describe what exactly it was that she was and what she was looking for.



EvilGeoff -> RE: Revealing Profiles? (12/3/2005 10:01:41 PM)

I really can't answer why other people put things in their profiles, or leave things out. Unless, of course, we have discussed the issue and they have revealed to me the reasons for writing what they wrote.

In my profile I spell out some things that I do not offer:
"I am not currently looking for any kind of romantic or sexual relationship at this time"
"Don't come to me expecting me to "fix" your problems. I am not a medical or psychiatric professional, nor am I God."
"Brats and SAMs need not apply, I have no patience for a partner who can't honestly communicate their needs to me. "

I also specify some things that I DO offer:
"Room & board and occassional SM play would be part of the relationship. More might follow if there is mutual interest with both myself and my girl."
"I will gladly help someone in service to me deal with issues, but I am not the cure."
"The house/yard slave would be free to pursue educational and employment opportunities outside the home."
"I am a Dominant and sadist."
"I am also an exhibitionist, I like to play with an audience. I am active in the BDSM community as a group leader, presenter and activist. If you don't want to be outted, or you are shy around a crowd, this might not be a good position for you."
"I'm also a realist, if you have questions or concerns about something I tell you to do, ask. I don't expect you to read my mind. On the flip side, don't expect me to read yours!"

As to why I chose what I reveal about I do or do not offer? I am looking for certain things in a house/slave, there are certain things I bring to the table in return. The profile is there to give someone a GLIMPSE of who I am and what I am about. I do not have the time to write (nor would I expect someone to read) a full autobiography that it would take to get to know me inside and out.

What I chose to reveal will either A) Pique their interest to the point they seek contact, or B) scare them off enough to keep them from writing in the first place. If someone writes to me, I expect that they are genuinely interested. I seriously doubt they will waste my time if they contact me.

So far, no one has been genuinely interested, and no one has wasted my time.
*LOL*

YIK,
- Geoff



MHOO314 -> RE: Revealing Profiles? (12/4/2005 6:33:25 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: slavejali

i sold myself to Master by telling him what i could offer him. He sold himself to me by telling me what he could offer me.

I offered him stuff like: A proven track record of previous bdsm experience. A proven track record of living in and enjoying a Master/slave relationship. A good positive attitude about life. A non-moody nature. Various skills that would benefit us both inside and outside the home. An ability to live with him where ever he so chose. No ties. A similar philosophy on life to his. A desire for stability and making roots. The skills and tools needed to support his dreams (one of them was to create a martial arts school) which subsequently we have accomplished). Loyalty no matter what. Common interests.

Basically im saying i guess, that profiles could work both ways, by either giving out a list of your wants, or by giving out a list of what you can offer..both would lead to someone being attracted to you for compatability reasons.



Its all about setting correct expectations, upfront and as you progress, which slavejali did and continues to do as does Master, here is a beautiful relationship working well--



tasha_tart -> RE: Revealing Profiles? (12/4/2005 1:21:52 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: gothslavetrainer

my opinion about profiles are 2 fold. one a woman should have the decency to reply to a respectfull letter instead of hiding behind the exuse they recieve so many replies.
another is i read in laughter the amount of young dominents or so called dommes at 18 years and 24 years old (age is only example),,,,,,,, slaves at 18 and 24 years old for example what a joke. i wish there was a section they had to fill out for them to explain what they interpritate their true meaning of the word and how they gained this incredible experiance so young out of puberty.
my opinion of setting out profiles would be have another sub section for subs/slaves who are collared so i have no need to switch online to collar me and read the majority who have in big letters 'I AM COLLARED' PLEASE DO NOT WRITE OR CONTACT ME ! lets have a section for the lonely collared subs and slaves seperate so when they are bored they can talk among them selfs. this way masters etc who seek do not have to read their crap .
does any body else agree or do a toech a sore nerve ladies ?


Did I not see this tripe as a thread of its own that was quickly removed by a moderator?

It still makes my blood boil (well simmer at least) with its ignorance and intolerance, but this time I'm not going to deconstruct the whole thing.

Tasha



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