RE: Collar means to do what?

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RE: Collar means to do what? - 9/27/2008 7:36:05 AM

sambamanslilgirl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: oceanwynds

My question comes from reading another thread and got me wondering, what part of you cannot be control by the dominant?

my career, how i raise my minors, and personal decisions that don't involve Daddy

quote:

Also what part would you not want to control in your submissive/slave life?

see answer above

quote:

Does a collar mean giving up rights to participate in voting, having a religious or spiritual belief and so on?

within my relationship with Daddy, it doesn't. i can vote whomever i want to, keep my religious faith and do things that i want. my collars (as well as His other jewelry) are merely symbols of His love and ownership of me. it's also symbol of our lifetime commitment as Daddy-daughter.

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RE: Collar means to do what? - 9/27/2008 7:51:36 AM

SrchngCpl73112

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I totally agree with what chamberqueen said. It is different for everyone but for me it was much more meaningful then when i actually got married to my ex husband. It means that we have total trust for each other. It means that he owns me, in every way. But i still have my own mind. He doesnt control my money, where i go, my friends, my family, or anything that i truly feel inside of myself. He owns my heart and my soul and i choose to submit to him in anything. He will sometimes pick out my clothes if i cant decide what to wear. He will give me his opinion most of the time and let me make the basic decision. There are those times when he feels a certain way and we do what he wishes and that is fine with me. I have given my life to him and knowing that gives me so much freedom. I know he only has my best interests at heart. This is the way our relationship works for us but the spectrum is very huge in this lifestyle. To each his own and what person may perceive as to much to give up another may not. It's all about finding what works for each individual and their particular relationship.

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RE: Collar means to do what? - 9/27/2008 8:06:50 AM

lizcgirl

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When you start discussing changing of beliefs I end up wondering why the person wanted to be collared in the first place. I know to each their own but to change yourself on such a level where you will change the very person you are seems a little extreme. I rather find a person who wanted to collar me as I am, not so they could transform me into their ideal of a sub/slave. I am collared and my Master has control over my behaviors, my routines, etc, but He has never asked me to change my beliefs or my points of view. In His words, when He collared me He accepted me for who I am- the good, the bad, and the parts He might not agree with. We don't share religious views but it never causes a problem, instead we get to learn from each other. Voting isn't an issue with me because I don't vote- I choose to not vote for the lesser evil and wait for a person I WANT to vote for. As a lot of people on here have said- if it's something you don't want to surrender, then you need to find some one who wouldn't ak that of you. For me it's harder to submit my will than anything else and I chose to do that because I trust Him, believe in Him, and love Him.

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RE: Collar means to do what? - 9/27/2008 8:13:15 AM

RCdc

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quote:

ORIGINAL: oceanwynds

Being collared has many meanings for people. What it does come down to is what we as a person is comfortable with. i am comfortable in not being collared. Voting is such an important freedom of mine and has such a rich history of not being a freedom for many in our country over the years, that the concept of a Dom taking that right away just threw me. Yet, it really is not a new thing, seen many vanilla marriages where one spouse would vote as the other spouse wanted for a variety of reasons.

Have a blessed day
oceanwynds

You seem very set on the idea that collaring is the cause. It isn't - any meanings all different. Just because someone is collared does not mean they have to not vote, or change their vote, or their belief. It happens, but it isn't set in stone. Some people who aren;t collared end up reliquishing their vote or belief etc. It isn't a collaring thang.

the.dark.

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RE: Collar means to do what? - 9/27/2008 8:50:52 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: oceanwynds

As i said, i do apologize for starting this post. It is not for me to judge another on what is right for them. Many things i surrendered too others would be appauled as well.

Wish i could take this post away, but it did teach me a very powerful lesson.

oceanwynds

First of all never apologize for trying to get a better understanding of your submission. It is not your place to judge but it is your place to try and better yourself as a submissive.

As a Dominant I have tried to answer the question of how far I would like to have control over my slave. To answer the question I have divided the live of my slave into two parts her person and her place in society. A slave can give away control of each one separately.
For me collaring a slave would mean I am given total control over her person and partial control over the parts of her place in society that effect her person and time with me. (e.g. I am open to her having a job but she will have to ask permission to work late). She is allowed to have her own believes but e.g. not allowed to ware a crucifix around her neck as that is an effect on her person (her appearance in this case).

As for voting. Again this is a part of her place in society so she can vote as she wants however we will go to the voting office together at a time I choose.

As my slave can give away control over both parts of her life I would accept control over her place in society if she wanted to give away her control over this to me. I would consider this to be the ultimate form of submission as her hole being is under my control.

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RE: Collar means to do what? - 9/27/2008 9:02:09 AM

RealSub58

Posts: 1073
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quote:

ORIGINAL: oceanwynds

My question comes from reading another thread and got me wondering, what part of you cannot be control by the dominant?

The soul of any human being IMHO.

Also what part would you not want to control in your submissive/slave life?

My Sir, I know, would not want to change or form into something other...my personality ~ the sum of all I was and am prior to meeting him.

Does a collar mean giving up rights to participate in voting, having a religious or spiritual belief and so on?

Collars mean nothing , they are symbolic.

What would make a submissive or slave choose to do so?

Give up their right to vote? to a religious belief?
IMHO only because they want to please so much they are willing to give up their rights as a human being in America.

Why would a Dominant need that?

IMHO, insecurity, domineering rather than dominant.

Why would something so great to one's heart be seen as the ultiminate way to express complete surrender?

Each individual is different in what they would consider "ultimate" surrender. Trust issues have ALOT to do with this.

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RE: Collar means to do what? - 9/27/2008 10:03:32 AM

oceanwynds

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As i stated, this post was written in a reaction to a comment about voting for the person her Dom chose She was collared, so i used the collar as an example. Also i had stated too that i seen this in a lot of vanilla marriages. i am not here to debate to collar or not , nor am i here to debate what one will give up for their love one. i over reacted when i read that post, and started a post. i regret doing that because it is to me pointing fingers at someone and saying they are wrong. That to me is judgment and i cannot judge what others will do. So i will eat crow till this post fades away. i started the cause and i will accept the affect, which is just my way.

i hold no one in dishonor in wearing a collar, wanting to be collared, or not wearing a collar and not wanting one.
blessings
oceanwynds

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RE: Collar means to do what? - 9/27/2008 11:45:47 AM

OsideGirl

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My point of view is that I am who I am...and he accepted that person when he collared me. If after he collared me he wanted to change who I am by choosing my vote, changing my religion, changing my beliefs or controlling my relationships with friends and family....it would be over.

That would tell me that he really didn't want the person he collared, he wanted someone else.

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RE: Collar means to do what? - 9/27/2008 7:16:41 PM

scarlethiney

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Joined: 8/22/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: NihilusZero

quote:

ORIGINAL: oceanwynds
Also what part would you not want to control in your submissive/slave life?

There is a subtle difference between exerting active control of every aspect and exerting to have an influence over every aspect. As a caretaker and mentor, I would expect to be involved in every pertinent aspect...and that the desire and trust in offering it would be there.

quote:

ORIGINAL: oceanwynds
Does a collar mean giving up rights to participate in voting, having a religious or spiritual belief and so on?

A collar means only what each individual ascribes to it.

quote:

ORIGINAL: oceanwynds
What would make a submissive or slave choose to do so?

Emotional trust. Intellectual trust. Physical trust.

quote:

ORIGINAL: oceanwynds
Why would a Dominant need that?

Why do any of us feel the need for anything?

quote:

ORIGINAL: oceanwynds
Why would something so great to one's heart be seen as the ultiminate way to express complete surrender?

Well, just to take your words at face value: complete surrender wouldn't really be complete if there were limits, would it?

If we're talking about the concept of spirituality, for instance...I personally wouldn't appreciate anything else (metaphysical conjecture or not) superseding our relationship (My dominance, her submission) on a priority list.

Simply put again thank you!

scarlet

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