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first threesome - 9/27/2008 1:19:08 AM   
hallieB


Posts: 63
Joined: 5/7/2008
Status: offline 		I was hoping to get some insight from others who has experienced a threesome. I have never experienced one first hand but it has been brought up several times in my conversations with my Master. It has not been forced on me, only suggested that it would expand my limits and help me grow in my submissiveness to my Master. I want to give him anything he ask of me but I am lost here. I would like to know from other subs, how you felt the first time, how you went about finding her, and do you think it did help you grow. I think I would be so nervous, just thinking about it makes me tremble, but I do find myself thinking about it alot lately. Your input would be appreciated.
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RE: first threesome - 9/27/2008 1:49:36 AM   
dulceXeufemia


Posts: 2
Joined: 8/21/2008
Status: offline 		first things first .... breathe !!!! if you are that "jittery" about it then don't .... at least wait til you are ready .... give it more thought ... make yourself a list of what you would hope to gain from the experience .... talk to your closest friends .... ask a close friend to join you ....

my first time was with my best friend and a guy that had a crush on her ... she asked me to stay with her and i did but then again, by this point of my life i am no longer inhibited ... it was a wonderful experience for me ... i got to enjoy my friend's body and not have to deal with the guy at all ... he wasn't my type ... lol ... it was so good between her and i that we got together often (always with another person or other people) ...

do i think it helped me grow ??? yes, i became more sensual over time ... obtained a better understanding of what my desires were, why they were, gained more acceptance of myself .... that was the biggest one ... i got comfortable in my own skin and the last shreds of inhibition slipped away ...

feel free to leave me a message if you would like to talk more ...
oh, as you get more feedback .... do not take one opinion over all the others .... weigh them out and decide for yourself ... i strongly recommend you get an x-rated movie with only women .... see how that makes you feel when you're done watching ... enjoy !!

enjoy your journey ... bisexuality is fun but not for everyone

dulce eufemia

_____________________________

"Flow with whatever is happening and let your mind be free. Stay centered by accepting whatever you are doing. This is the ultimate." -- Unknown

(in reply to hallieB)
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RE: first threesome - 9/27/2008 2:45:46 AM   
littlemisssnarf


Posts: 85
Joined: 8/28/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: dulceXeufemia

first things first .... breathe !!!! if you are that "jittery" about it then don't .... at least wait til you are ready .... give it more thought ...


Agreed - do not think that you have to suddenly become chick interested and "find" one over night...

And to be fair - have you considered the thoughts and feelings of the girl you may approach for you both? Think how you would feel if it was you that was the prey for a jittery sub and her Sir?????

Like an iceberg - there is more below the surface on this subject than meets the eye me thinks!

_____________________________

let the sun shine on your soul and smile...

(in reply to dulceXeufemia)
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RE: first threesome - 9/27/2008 4:08:13 AM   
malloves69


Posts: 913
Joined: 9/15/2006
Status: offline 		have done a number of 3sums in my day  2 women and a man are awesome  its like dying and going to heaven  more female body parts then what you can do with ...but you gotta love that  great way to expand your horizons i must say ..once the clothes come off and hit the floor so should your inhibitions or it wont be that much fun i think  also have done 2 mmf 3 sums ..one guy was white and one guy was black ..both had nice dicks i must say  setup by my mistress because she likes seeing 2 men together and yes i was used as a bottom by them ...very nervous at first but with her there directing the action must say it was fun to do also  watching live sex when he was with her was way hot indeed and very erotic  ecspecially when she was with the black male ...the skin contrast made it for watching a great show indeed  i made the comment to my mistress about never being with a black lady before so she setups this ..gotta love her playfullness had 2 mmf 3 sums and while they were fun to do would i do it again ? sure if my mistress wanted to  go into it with a open mind and they can be quite fun indeed ..good luck and have fun ..mal

(in reply to littlemisssnarf)
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RE: first threesome - 9/27/2008 6:05:00 AM   
slaveluci


Posts: 4294
Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: hallieB
I would like to know from other subs, how you felt the first time, how you went about finding her, and do you think it did help you grow. I think I would be so nervous, just thinking about it makes me tremble, but I do find myself thinking about it alot lately. Your input would be appreciated.

I have been involved in several threesomes, foursomes and more-somes, most in my earlier "vanilla" life.  The way I felt the first time was so excited and anxious to get started and it is indeed a wonderful memory.  My ex-husband "found her" - actually her and her boyfriend.  It turns out they were into swapping so that was my first experience of not only that but also my first experience with a woman.  OMG - what that started!!!!  I don't know if it "helped me grow" but it was one of the hottest experiences I've ever had. 

I wasn't nervous at all as I had been seeking the experience we had.  Before and since, I've been involved in threesomes and the like and it has always been a positive, memorable experience.  I can't really say how the experience would/will affect you as it's something you are apprehensive about.  However, the one thing I would offer up for thought is that you should not do it if you are not comfortable with it and aren't on stable enough footing in your relationship.  Experiences like that can have a way of ripping an unstable one the rest of the way apart.

Good luck!

luci

_____________________________

To choose a good book, look in an inquisitor’s prohibited list. ~John Aikin

(in reply to hallieB)
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RE: first threesome - 9/27/2008 7:15:47 AM   
CalifChick


Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline 		Personally, I think that any time someone says, "this will help you grow in your submission", I think they are full of shit and trying to manipulate a situation.  Do you do things that help you "grow" in your heterosexuality?? 

As someone mentioned above, it may help you explore your sexuality and find new things you like or don't like.


Cali


_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to slaveluci)
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RE: first threesome - 9/27/2008 9:43:57 AM   
antipode


Posts: 1787
Joined: 4/19/2004
Status: offline 		Threesomes are great - my first was when my secretary invited me to her home after a party, where I discovered her flatmate already in bed. She was getting married the next week, and I was to be her last fling...

I would however let the master find the third, many men use this ruse to find a new girlfriend, a replacement sub, it can be a strong signal he is done with you, or he is one of those in the life for conquest, not for play. For others, it is a way to humiliate you. I don't see how your going out and finding the third does anything for you, since it is his idea. As others have said, your "growing" out of this is complete BS.

If you want to get nassty, talk to your girlfriends, invite one, then tell him you've gone lesbian, but he can watch.

Ignore that, I am just being flippant.....

(in reply to hallieB)
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RE: first threesome - 9/27/2008 9:49:33 AM   
RealSub58


Posts: 1073
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: hallieB
only suggested that it would expand my limits and help me grow in my submissiveness to my Master. 


Men's fantasy, dominant or not is always a threesome.
 
I fail to see how a threesome expands one's submissiveness.
 
Yes I have had this, it didnt expand my submissiveness, only sex with someone that didnt matter to either one of us.
 
So, how will this expand your submissiveness to your partner?

Edited to add:  What Cali said !!

< Message edited by RealSub58 -- 9/27/2008 9:51:11 AM >

(in reply to hallieB)
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RE: first threesome - 9/27/2008 9:53:19 AM   
lusciouslips19


Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline 		I have had 3 somes because I wanted to and they were great fun.It satisfies the bisexual streak in me while still having the testosterone present and handy. It is not true that it is every mans fantasy to have 2 women. My last boyfriend did not have that fantasy and my current master would only do it to watch and not touch the other woman. So some men are terminally monogomous and wish to remain that way. (darn)

_____________________________

Original Pimpette,
Keeper of Original Home Flag and Fire of Mr. Lance Hughes
Charter member of Lance's Fag Hags,
Member of the Subbie Mafia
Princess of typos and it's my prerogative

(in reply to RealSub58)
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RE: first threesome - 9/27/2008 10:43:09 AM   
CalifChick


Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline 		Poor lushy!  C'mon babe, I'll do ya and he can watch.


Cali


_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to lusciouslips19)
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RE: first threesome - 9/27/2008 11:01:38 AM   
lusciouslips19


Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CalifChick

Poor lushy!  C'mon babe, I'll do ya and he can watch.


Cali




Woooo weee!!!!

(I love a slut)

_____________________________

Original Pimpette,
Keeper of Original Home Flag and Fire of Mr. Lance Hughes
Charter member of Lance's Fag Hags,
Member of the Subbie Mafia
Princess of typos and it's my prerogative

(in reply to CalifChick)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: first threesome - 9/27/2008 11:26:15 AM   
persephonee


Posts: 5089
Joined: 12/15/2007
Status: offline 		Threesomes dont help you "grow in your submissiveness" unless its literally that you dont know how to obey a direct order and the command to have a threesome is the first order you choose to follow...are you disobediant?

Threesomes are great or sucky depending on your motive behind doing it, the partner that you choose, the mood you or your master or the third is in on that particular nite....its just sex.

i would caution you that if you are only doing it to deepen your submission...ie: doing it soley to please him and not because you are bi curious or even curious about being bi curious...things will prolly not go well.
i have been invited in by the Dom...by the sub...by several 'slaves' only to find myself in awkward situations later due to "unexpected" upcroppings of feelings. Funny how the feelings only occur after everyone has come.
im one of the few girls who strongly feels that a person's primary relationship must be respected (even if its completely unstable). So, im relatively benign coming into a situation. But there really are girls who see a threeway as a crack in the foundation and like mice, they collapse their skeletal system and wiggle their way in...only to infest your house...sometimes making it uninhabitable. So if you are doing this out of some misguided attempt at healing your relationship, please dont. And if you do, please dont turn around and blame the third for whatever the threeway does to your relationship.

All that aside...threesomes are kinda fun, relatively cheap and one is good for a lot of  good memories for a good long time...if you dont find someone you want to repeatedly play with, and its a good one, you can use the memories of it for a good long while to spice things up.

Happy Humping.

perse

_____________________________

You be the Captain; i'll be no one.

And You can carry me away....if You want to. ~Kasey Chambers

E*Whore, extraordinaire....

Nothing is exactly as it seems~Nor, is it otherwise.

(in reply to hallieB)
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RE: first threesome - 9/27/2008 2:19:38 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		If you are not into it and want it... don't do it until you do.  Someone can mention something... you think about it... if you feel secure, ready and are not threatened in your relationship and have some interest and are just a little nervous, go ahead and try it.  If you are a jealous person or there are any problems in your relationship... stop... think... think hard... stop and evaluate. 

I have never heard of anyone becoming more submissive or growing in their submissiveness to their dominant by adding another person, other than to know they might be replaceable and act better so that they are not. Your submission is not dependant upon anything but what is inside you and your dominant.  Certain actions may create more awareness or something... but I am not sure how one reasons out that you will be more submissive because of a play partner.  I find it amazing what one will say to convince another to play their way. lol  Do what is best for YOU... submissive or not... you are the one that will live with it all.

Adding another partner in play or relationship can be very much fun and rewarding... but it can also be devistating and do a lot of harm.  It depends on the people involved.

(in reply to persephonee)
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RE: first threesome - 9/27/2008 3:24:38 PM   
monywildcat


Posts: 452
Joined: 2/26/2008
Status: offline 		I can only speak from my personal experience, only you will know if/when you are ready to delve into the threesome fantasy and make it a reality.

For us (me and x) the relationship was already on rocky ground, adding a threesome into the mix just opened up a Pandora's box and truly was the beginning of the end.  Turned out, it wasn't just to spice things up, it wasn't so I could "explore my bisexuality further" it wasn't just anything.  He was looking for a replacement, plain and simple.  So up goes yet another brick in the 20ft wall between us.  Now the act itself was very hot, and I did my best to create a warm, inviting and sensual environment.  And I went balls to the wall with my lovely lady friend.  But still, all those pesky feelings reared their heads after everybody got theirs.  Disaster. 

Now, after adding a few more experiences, I have determined that for myself, I am not wired for this sort of thing.  Happily, neither is Daddy, and in fact this was one of the first things that we discussed and agreed upon after my recent promotion to The Girlfriend.  That is just us.  Everyone is wired a bit differently. 

Grow in your submission?  I also find this to be horse-feathers.  But again, this is just me.  I fail to see how going down on a girl or watching them have sex is helping you grow in your submission. That would however, be an interesting question to pose to your master. 

_____________________________

Major Life Change Necessitates Personal Reinvention...

(in reply to Lockit)
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RE: first threesome - 9/27/2008 6:34:53 PM   
slaveluci


Posts: 4294
Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CalifChick
Personally, I think that any time someone says, "this will help you grow in your submission", I think they are full of shit and trying to manipulate a situation. 

Wow, that's painting with a pretty broad brush.  There have been many things that I've considered "growing" within my submission.  Things I've done that I was unsure of at first - didn't think I could handle - and I did them and came out on the other side better for it and feeling more submissive than ever.  Being "talked into" a threesome wasn't one of them, obviously, because I'm totally willing to do that anytime with no persuasion whatsoever. 

Because I've done these things at His request/desire and they helped me "grow," does that mean He's "full of shit."  Never, girlfriend.  Perish the fuckin' thought.  Was He trying to "manipulate a situation?"  Uh yeah.  He can manipulate anything He damn well pleases at anytime.  He Master, me slave.  Manipulation is not always a bad thing.  It's kind of a bedrock of our dynamic come to think of it................luci

_____________________________

To choose a good book, look in an inquisitor’s prohibited list. ~John Aikin

(in reply to CalifChick)
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RE: first threesome - 9/27/2008 6:58:43 PM   
DelightnDevotion


Posts: 45
Joined: 7/14/2008
Status: offline 		-FR-

I had my first foursome with my Dom a few weeks ago.  We had done couple's swaps before but this was the first time all four people played together--instead of him with the other woman and, separately, me with the other man.  I was bi-curious, so it wasn't anything I didn't want to do.  But I wouldn't have sought it out if I didn't know it was wildly appealing for him to see me with another woman.  I found the couple on AFF. 

I was incredibly nervous beforehand--mostly because I wasn't sure I would be able to please the other woman as I had such a lack of skills.  But my Dom did a beautiful job of calming me and helping me feel comfortable.  It was a great experience and he absolutely loved watching me.  While I did enjoy playing with the other woman and will do it again--I was very proud of hearing his comments afterward about how turned on he was by watching me play with her.  We are planning more foursomes and threesomes (MFF) in the future. 

My biggest piece of advice would be to talk to your Master about all of  your feelings and ask him to help you move through them.  For all the reasons others have mentioned this isn't something to treat lightly.  Proceed with caution.  :-)



_____________________________

"Surrender yourself humbly;
then you can be trusted to care for all things."
Tao Te Ching, Chapter 13

(in reply to monywildcat)
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RE: first threesome - 9/27/2008 7:28:38 PM   
hallieB


Posts: 63
Joined: 5/7/2008
Status: offline 		Thanks everyone for your replys. I must clarify something, I dont think that my Master is trying to manipulate anything. I do have an emotional issue such as jealousy..He says this could be a teaching tool to help me get over my emotions. But he has also stressed that he does not think I am ready yet. I dont believe he would ever hurt me and he has been so good to me, I just want to give something back to him. As far as growing in my submission, I believe all he means is there should be no questions asked. I should trust him to know whats best. He has told me he would not push for it and only will go there if I initiate it. He said there does not have to be another.

(in reply to slaveluci)
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RE: first threesome - 9/27/2008 8:04:11 PM   
califsue


Posts: 593
Joined: 2/2/2008
Status: offline 		Master and I have play with two couples one time. I was a bit nervous when he told me about it as they were just swingers not bdsm folks. It turned out fine and Master felt I was comfortable though I did not feel that way. Now he wants me to find a woman for Us to play with and I am a bit nervous on how one goes about doing that and finding a woman. I am working on it but I think all he wants is for her to provide oral service while I watch and I am a little tentative on the watching part so I can understand how you might be nervous. However, I trust that when it happens I will be ready and that things will work out. It is good you and yours are talking about it and I am sure when the time is right you will know it and be ready for it.

(in reply to hallieB)
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RE: first threesome - 9/27/2008 8:42:12 PM   
Quivver


Posts: 1953
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline 		Three sums can be a lot of fun, but they can also be pretty damn boring. 
My first was forced, she and I got along better then he and I, I'm sure you can see where that went. 
The second turned into a long term friendship with a fantastic couple. 
There's been a couple more through the years but one common thing comes to mind, and that is that few
men actually know what to do when there is more then 1 naked woman. 
(oh yea, this isnt a swingers site ... could have fooled me for a minute or two) 

Good luck, you'll be fine.


_____________________________

The problem with communication ... is the illusion that it has been accomplished. ~George Bernard Shaw

(in reply to califsue)
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RE: first threesome - 9/27/2008 9:39:34 PM   
cravesdom


Posts: 5219
Joined: 3/28/2008
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		I have been a part of many threesomes over the years and to be honest, they were fun, but I would have preferred one-on-one sex almost every single time. I am very focused during sex and I found that I would much rather focus on one person than two. Obviously it wasn't awful, or I never would have done it again after the first time, but if I never have another one, I will not be disappointed.

_____________________________

Finally home where I belong.

"A lot of disappointed people have been left standing on the street corner waiting for the bus marked 'Perfection.' " Donald Kennedy

(in reply to Quivver)
Profile   Post #: 20
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