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RE: first threesome - 9/28/2008 8:30:31 AM

Missokyst

Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline

I wonder if knowing you are replaceable is the push to make one more submissive? I know that when my marriage was ending and he suggested we try swinging, I was more.. I guess, desperate to be better. It was one thing knowing that he enjoyed other women, and totally another to watch it happen.
I cannot say it was submission in the way I see things now. But back then when I had 3 kids to take care of and was trying to salvage my married life, I was definitely more of everything he could want.
More sub, more obsequious, more pleasing.. until one thing turned the tide for me and I realised that kicking him to the curb was the best thing for all of us.
Kyst

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit
I have never heard of anyone becoming more submissive or growing in their submissiveness to their dominant by adding another person, other than to know they might be replaceable and act better so that they are not.

(in reply to Lockit)

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Post #: 21

RE: first threesome - 9/28/2008 8:42:19 PM

ExKat

Posts: 300
Joined: 8/25/2008
Status: offline

I can speak from personal experience now (woo-hoo!) on this topic. I strongly advise against doing it if you're jealous.
I also usually suffer from crazy jealousy problems. However, if I had been the least bit jealous about it, I would not have gone through with the threesome. Adding fuel to a fire isn't going to put it out. The fact that he keeps bringing it up and lure you with the bait that it will "deepen your submission" seems a little bit fishy to me: what submissive wants to say, "No, I don't want to deepen my submission"?
Those feelings of "wanting to give something back to him", and owing him make me nervous. You say he isn't pushing you, and I believe that, but if you don't want to have one yourself, then why do it?
Ex and I found a third by looking together (not the "O, my mastr told me to find a slut 4 him or he's leaving me"), being non-shady, and an insane amount of luck. However, I don't think I'd have gone through with it if I wasn't every bit as excited as he was.

_____________________________

~*~ The amalgam of Exquemelin and Katie978~*~
In the forums, it'll usually be Katie you're speaking to.
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(in reply to hallieB)

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Post #: 22

RE: first threesome - 9/29/2008 10:53:28 AM

littleone35

Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline

I tried a 3 sum (mmf) back in my playing around days. I was curious i had never done it , and wanted to see what it was like. it was fun but not something i would do again my curiousity was satisified and that was that. I am glad Master is not into that.

To the OP i would suggest not doing anything until you are complety comfortable with the situation. If you are not and it happens it could cause problems in the future. Talk to your Dom tell him you want to please him but this is not something you are sure about.

Matt's littleone

(in reply to ExKat)

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Post #: 23

RE: first threesome - 9/29/2008 11:27:05 AM

Dnomyar

Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline

Gives Cali a big hug for saying what I would have said if I had read this before her.

(in reply to littleone35)

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Post #: 24

RE: first threesome - 9/29/2008 11:43:10 AM

CalifChick

Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: slaveluci
There have been many things that I've considered "growing" within my submission. Things I've done that I was unsure of at first - didn't think I could handle - and I did them and came out on the other side better for it and feeling more submissive than ever.

But you didn't know that before you started. You don't know something will help you "grow" in your submission until after the fact. To me, it just smacked of that old vanilla standby, "if you love me, you would do xxxx".

So saying, "have a threesome because it will help you grow in your submission", to me, yes, is crap. Obviously, your mileage varies.

Cali

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AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to slaveluci)

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Post #: 25

RE: first threesome - 9/29/2008 6:58:51 PM

wordstoponder

Posts: 56
Joined: 2/3/2008
From: New Hampshire
Status: offline

Before reading all of the other replies, I'd like to tell my own story.

Having a threesome is one of the many new things that Master had me try. I've always been bi-curious, been never really acted upon those feelings. I am often shy, especially around other females. Master had a friend that He knew was interested and invited her over. She initiated things almost right away. She was more dominating (and very rude) than Master would have liked, messing up the dynamic. Further screwing things up, she was a kinky switch, and He did not appreciate it when she tried to spank Him. I was happy, being used by both Master and His friend. However, things became sour when Master came all over her - I became very jealous and upset. And, the frosting on the cake, she slept over - in the same bed as us! She kept us up all night with her snoring and woke us up early because she's an early-bird. Very inconsiderate. I know that Master has no feelings for her (especially not after that night).

We've thought about playing with someone else, preferably another submissive female. However, both of us are not ready to open ourselves up again. I know that I have a lot of issues to work out.

But anyway, have fun!

(in reply to hallieB)

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Post #: 26