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Far from being a slave? - 9/28/2008 9:26:24 AM

subeos

Posts: 140
Joined: 5/23/2008
Status: offline

A few weeks ago I wrote of a male who wanted to be my mentor. Because I failed his test of going to bed when he asked, he got mad and I dropped him like a hot potato.
So this morning, I see a message from him saying that I am far off from being a slave. And that his slave does everything on a whim and never questions. ( Good for her) she is his slave.
He also mentioned how could he share me with another Dom if I can not follow simple rules. He needs to save his face. It was an odd message.

I have not served in a while. But that does not make me less than. His attitude was that he was somewhat superior to me. And that is fine if he feels like he needs to be that way.

He is a real work of art. The only thing that made me mad at first was he said I am far from a slave. Then I thought how can he even say that, without talking to me for a long time. Never meeting me and knowing me at all?
He says he is a Master with qualities most Masters do not have her on CM. So he is special

I really despise pompous assholes.
I am just glad I got to the crux of his thinking.....

Thanks for letting me vent...

slave eos

~To Thine Own Self Be True~

Post #: 1

RE: Far from being a slave? - 9/28/2008 9:32:42 AM

knockonmyduir

Posts: 264
Status: offline

good for you!!!! far from being a slave...pfffttt......tosser

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knockonmyduir

Pain is inevitable; suffering is optional.
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(in reply to subeos)

Post #: 2

RE: Far from being a slave? - 9/28/2008 9:37:42 AM

kiwisub12

Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
Status: offline

Well - you aren't a slave - to him.

(in reply to knockonmyduir)

Post #: 3

RE: Far from being a slave? - 9/28/2008 10:21:24 AM

goodpet

Posts: 458
Joined: 6/8/2005
Status: offline

It also sonds like he was wanting to more then a mentor.. If you had not negotiated being in the master role to you and having control over such things then he, as you know, was just trying to prove to himself how domly he was by having such control..

Don't worry about what Sir Domly Dom thinks.. it is only his need to feel like he is someone important.

keep looking for a real mentor..

(in reply to kiwisub12)

Post #: 4

RE: Far from being a slave? - 9/28/2008 10:52:47 AM

sklavinxandria

Posts: 61
Joined: 12/26/2004
From: Nebraska
Status: offline

I swear, I am right there with you on some of it at times. I got an e msg from someone here complaining about my journal and how I wasn't a real slave too...yeah..yeah...not your slave buddy and Master likes my backbone... read it...mentally bitch at him and then hit block and delete. I so am in love with that block button. haha

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Come to the dark side, we have cookies

(in reply to goodpet)

Post #: 5

RE: Far from being a slave? - 9/28/2008 11:10:25 AM

persephonee

Posts: 5089
Joined: 12/15/2007
Status: offline

May i ask, with respect, why you feel you need a dominant member of the community to protect and advise you? Wouldnt you be less likely to be exploited by someone among your peer group that you respect and has a healthy relationship at present to pattern your behavior after? There was a thread on dominants offering their wonderful and unique training tips to new or unattached submissives...just cant remember what it was called.

peace

~perse~

edit to add that was supposed to be a reply to OP.

< Message edited by persephonee -- 9/28/2008 11:12:54 AM >

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You be the Captain; i'll be no one.

And You can carry me away....if You want to. ~Kasey Chambers

E*Whore, extraordinaire....

Nothing is exactly as it seems~Nor, is it otherwise.

(in reply to sklavinxandria)

Post #: 6

RE: Far from being a slave? - 9/28/2008 11:26:16 AM

KatyLied

Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline

Why do you want or even need this "mentor" in your life?

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(in reply to subeos)

Post #: 7

RE: Far from being a slave? - 9/28/2008 11:28:40 AM

Celene

Posts: 158
Joined: 12/28/2007
Status: offline

Not his slave ... and damn lucky to be able to say that.

(in reply to persephonee)

Post #: 8

RE: Far from being a slave? - 9/28/2008 11:34:10 AM

natasha66

Posts: 321
Joined: 10/14/2006
From: NJ
Status: offline

"Block" and/or "delete" are your friends. His definition of a slave obviously isn't the same as yours. Next.....

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~Basil Fawlty

Collared June 4th, 2008
Love is giving him the power to destroy you, but trusting him not to.

(in reply to KatyLied)

Post #: 9

RE: Far from being a slave? - 9/28/2008 11:42:39 AM

subeos

Posts: 140
Joined: 5/23/2008
Status: offline

It is over and done with. He made me think I dont need a Mentor. Just something I learned and wanted to share. He was the one who mentioned it and I thought it might be a good idea.

I learned that I can be my own mentor and I can walk this path with or without a Master. I would rather walk with One. But for now, I am not able to do that.
Thanks for the comments. You guys are kind and informative.

slave eos

~To Thine Own Self Be True~

(in reply to natasha66)

Post #: 10

RE: Far from being a slave? - 9/28/2008 11:45:42 AM

JewAndCelt

Posts: 110
Joined: 8/23/2008
From: Arkansas
Status: offline

Hey, there's folk everywhere who seek to take advantage of others. This person just happened to fall into that category; unfortunately I think he needs a mentor to teach him a bit about tact and interpersonal communication.

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Maturity is patience. Mastery is nine times patience.

!!!!!!כי לא נולד הבן זונה שיעצור את ישראל

(in reply to subeos)

Post #: 11

RE: Far from being a slave? - 9/28/2008 12:03:59 PM

JumpingJax

Posts: 155
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

Who really cares if one is a sub or a slave?   It's all a matter of perspective really.

To me, I have a hard time answering this question... Do I want a sub or a slave?   I think sub is a little less demeaning but some people feel more comfortable with the Slave title.    What I expect is total obedience, I accept limits but only when talking about what I personally view as "common sense" type things.     But for most things I expect that my sub should do whatever I say when I say it. No back talk and with no room for objection.       However unlike most view of a slave, I want and value their opinions.   I want to know what they think, and when the time is right I'm open to appropriate feedback and suggestions.

I'm sure my opinions of submission and slavery are very different from many. Frankly I really don't care. I respect your opinions as much as I can but it is up to me to define what type of Dom I choose to be.
In the same respect this goes for subs (or slaves) as well.    Call yourself what you want,   be who you want to be.   If someone doesn't like your use of a word, well it's just a word and if they don't like it, they should just keep on fishing.

(in reply to JewAndCelt)

Post #: 12

RE: Far from being a slave? - 9/28/2008 1:48:40 PM

Sandyshores29718

Posts: 343
Joined: 4/8/2008
Status: offline

*fast reply*

A mentor is something really simple. It can just be a close friend you share thoughts and ideas with. I have a few people I would call mentors in my life. What a slave means to one person might not to the other. Its all what the couple chooses to lable their relationship roles as.

(in reply to JumpingJax)

Post #: 13

RE: Far from being a slave? - 9/28/2008 1:55:53 PM

JohnWarren

Posts: 3807
Joined: 3/18/2005
From: Delray Beach, FL
Status: offline

I'd be tempted to ask him just what unique qualities he thinks he has.

[evil grin] and then tell him the ones that he's shown you by his actions.

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(in reply to subeos)

Post #: 14

RE: Far from being a slave? - 9/28/2008 2:00:42 PM

subeos

Posts: 140
Joined: 5/23/2008
Status: offline

quote:

I'd be tempted to ask him just what unique qualities he thinks he has.

[evil grin] and then tell him the ones that he's shown you by his actions.

Good idea.... I knew he was full of bull when he said that about people here on CM. Like he was "better" than..lol

slave eos

~To Thine Own Self Be True~

(in reply to JohnWarren)

Post #: 15

RE: Far from being a slave? - 9/28/2008 2:31:50 PM

sillyslaveboy

Posts: 169
Joined: 7/28/2008
Status: offline

Wait, so it was over and you are still getting messages that ain't sort o` call for coming back? Why bother reading in whole in the end, then..

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Post #: 16

RE: Far from being a slave? - 9/28/2008 3:01:08 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

A mentor is someone to bounce ideas off of. Not much more than that. Just someone whose thought processes you admire.

Pick a sub and ask if she'd mind you writing occasionally.

As far as this dude, be glad he showed his true colors early. Just another horn dog.

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Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

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Post #: 17

RE: Far from being a slave? - 9/28/2008 3:12:08 PM

mzbehavin

Posts: 253
Joined: 1/15/2008
Status: offline

Thats typical actually. I think its a tactic to shift responsibility for the failure or undesirablity of the relationship.
The basic idea is-
"You did not A B or C as i told you, so you are not a 'true' sub/slave!"
Or better yet they will add insult to injury by telling you how much of a 'bad' sub/slave you are/were.
It stings...
They know it...
Thats why they do it.
So let it go, it has no real reflection upon the quality of your character. Only on the quality of theirs to stoop to such measures.
Isnt it so, the quality of the sub is a direct reflection upon the quality of the Dom in the end?

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 18

RE: Far from being a slave? - 9/28/2008 4:50:45 PM

Rogue86

Posts: 42
Joined: 2/10/2008
Status: offline

A mentor listens, gives constructive feedback, and seeks to build you up - not tear you down. A mentor is in it for your benefit, not his own - though I have found the mentoring process very rewarding. Perhaps he thought he was training you and that you were not sufficiently committed to the training process. If that were the case, he should have said so in such terms, without the dramatic condemnation and judgemental tone. Let not your heart be troubled. You have discovered more about yourself and the world in which you move, learn from it what you can and discard the rest as the garbage that it is. Above all, do not let one bad experience turn you off on the idea of mentoring / being mentored. All of us at some point in our lives can benefit greatly from it - if we choose the right person to turn to for guidance and perspective.

_____________________________

Rogue
-----------
"It's not punishment if you LIKE it."

(in reply to mzbehavin)

Post #: 19

RE: Far from being a slave? - 9/28/2008 4:54:36 PM

Lockit

Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline

Awww he is just pissed that in all his amazing and rare ways... you went away! Rejection is hard on the most domly of doms and they often must remind you of how unspecail you must be because you didn't see their worth. I have seen a lot of mentoring offers come from these types. I can see mentoring any way people want to take it or make it... but typically I would be more impressed with someone seeing qualities in someone and asking them to mentor them, rather than self inflated ballon types high on their hot air.

(in reply to mzbehavin)

Post #: 20

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