fivexfivego
Posts: 1
Joined: 10/8/2007 Status: offline
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I live in the porn world, but i am starting to explore real time. I have been developing a relationship with a rather unique Domme over the past few days. She is accessible and wicked smart - which is key and today we just talked about what types of porn I watch. This is after two years of searching the Internet and wading through quite a number of angry women who pose as Dommes, shallow and stupid prostitutes who like the "financial servitude" angle, and most typical, Dommes who just want to retire and live with their partner and pickup the career they really loved. My Dominatrix (i am so possessive) loves the scene as much as her clients love the scene, because it is more then a mis-en-scene, it is an adventure. It is about before, during and after the session - she is really the person I believe I've been looking for since I was ten years old. She is very knowledgeable and we both discussed the need to explore. She explained that there will be some scenes which should be left to fantasy and some which will be better in real life - but we have to try them to know. It depends on the individual and the scene, I guess. She is also available, if I wish, out of session for vanilla stuff - this is unique and incredible. Don't get me wrong, it goes into the tribute, but I don't have thousands of dollars to throw around - it is coming from a person who enjoys her subs for who they are - and there is a screening process. For me, intelligence, empathy and confidence are, above all else, the most important traits in my future owner or Mistress. I understand why some profiles shout how happy they are - "I found my sub/Domme" and maybe some are written with more or less tact then others, but I get it now. I feel like a kid again. I found a Domme I trust - she knows more about me then my wife of eight years - and I tried for years. I know I sound trite, but I have craved with every fiber of my body, a Domme who knows me more then I know myself. Porn kept me sane - I don't know what I would do without it, but porn can distort reality as well - just be aware of it. My few real time encounters were great in the setup, in the antiscipation and, for most, the actual session. But after ALL of them, I wanted to bolt - just as I did with one night stands. For me, it is after the physical urge is fufilled, there is nothing if I don't know the person - if I don't like the person or know nothing about them, if it was completely physical, then after my happy ending, I am left feeling empty and ashamed - I want to get as far away as possible. When I have waited and developed a relationship, a climax is just the beginning and after the moment of truth is where intimacy comes in - this little notch in time is where we men are the most honest. Porn does not provide intimacy, but it is fun. It can lead to finding your perfect Mistress or it can be a waste of time. Enjoy the ride.
< Message edited by fivexfivego -- 9/30/2008 1:16:02 AM >
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