RE: Could it be just anyone?

RE: Could it be just anyone? (Full Version)

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OttersSwim -> RE: Could it be just anyone? (9/30/2008 4:09:48 PM)
If my Lady asked/ordered me to, then yes, I would submit to someone else, though I would hope that we had taken time to know the person enough for me to feel comfortable with them. She and I have had conversation and consensus about feeling comfortable with someone before we would play with them, so I think this applies. If it was not directly related to Her desire, then no way until I got to know the person and felt comfortable with them.

yourMissTress -> RE: Could it be just anyone? (9/30/2008 4:14:39 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: lizcgirl I do not and will not submit to just any one. If you hand out your submission to any person you meet, how can you consider it 'special'? Maybe my logic doesn't make sense, but to me my submission to my Master is the biggest gift I can give Him and if I handed it out to every one else, it would trivialize what we have. I recently had an encounter with a girl who claimed to be a 'real slave' and how she thought to prove how 'real' she considered herself was to submit to any Dom who would speak with her and promise anything and everything to them. It disgusted me because the ones that did meet with her basically ended up describing her as a bag of flesh- no response, no personality, nothing. How people could find that attractive is beyond me. In my eyes, that isn't submitting, that's more like being a parasite looking for a host to feed off of because you can't exist on your own. While I'm not going to start the "gift of submission" debate in this thread...I like your thought. And I agree with the parasite analogy, it is similar to the feeling I get from such people. LaT, quote: Yes, I tend to dominate those around me in some way. BUT, it's a different type of domination than with a s type person that I want to be a part of my life. One is personality, the other is more of an active choice based upon all of her qualities that attract me to her. I feel you here, you made perfect sense to me. gypsygirl... quote: I often refer to myself as a doormat, but that's usually in the context of a relationship. If I like someone, yeah, I'll want to do stuff for them even if its only in the interests of friendship. And, if I like someone and they give me an order I'll generally follow it. 'Cause, ya know, I'm like that. I don't consider that "doormat" behavior, you have qualified those people as people you like to do things for, they are not just anyone.

TabrisMaceth -> RE: Could it be just anyone? (9/30/2008 4:31:34 PM)
Dominance is part of my very nature, but when it comes to someone I want a real relationship with, I don't want to just subjugate them to my will. I want them to want me. I want to prove myself worthy of being in a position of power by just being myself. ...Good luck with that, me. -Tabris

VivaciousSub -> RE: Could it be just anyone? (9/30/2008 4:42:24 PM)
quote: So, the question is...S-types Could you submit to anyone? D types Could you Dominate anyone? And although, I'm sure that all COULD...would you want to? I couldn't ever submit to just anyone. For me, it's a matter of chemistry first, sharing of vanilla interests, etc - I want to make sure I have fun with them as people not just as BDSM practitioners. Generally, that's what first meets/2nd meets/3rd meets are for, then I'll see if we're compatible as a D/s couple. If we enjoy each other's company, and I find I respect the D in question, then I'm willing to see if we can play. Otherwise, I could "play" sub, but it wouldn't be submission and I wouldn't be happy. Neither would the D type, I suspect. < edited to note - this font ate my normal font! ack! >

kallisto -> RE: Could it be just anyone? (9/30/2008 4:50:45 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: yourMissTress So, the question is...S-types Could you submit to anyone? No I can't. I don't have the will nor desire to submit to just anyone. There has to be compatibility, trust, respect, chemistry, interests, humor, all the components there for me to submit.

lilmisssubmiss -> RE: Could it be just anyone? (9/30/2008 4:51:23 PM)
There needs to be more doms like you...haha. My old master...just expected me to obey him right away...and if i were to question anything he'd just get on his high horse and be like " youre a slave right?" i'd say yes..then he'd go into this whole thing how i have no limits...or not allowed any say in anything at all or even to question him.... The master i'm with right now is wonderful, i can tell he actually respects me and i'm sure to get to know the dom way way way well now before i say i will submit to him. I don't want just anyone to have control over me, i rushed into the other relationship oh well what can i say dumb and niave sometimes:D

Aileen1968 -> RE: Could it be just anyone? (9/30/2008 4:58:09 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: yourMissTress So, the question is...S-types Could you submit to anyone? And although, I'm sure that all COULD...would you want to? Nope. I need to feel those butterflies and sense of excitement that only happens when there is chemistry. His words and actions have to be personal to me.

Icarys -> RE: Could it be just anyone? (9/30/2008 5:03:24 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: yourMissTress So, my new boy and I were talking...this conversation has been a short spurted ongoing one for a few weeks...but here's the idea... I have been talking with, meeting, and sometimes playing with several submissives over the last 2-3 months. Most of them fail the initial meeting, and the majority of those that made it to the first play date failed as well. How did they fail? It mattered not to them who I was, what I was about, or even that I was human. I could have been Mother Theresa or Oprah or Lizzie Borden. They were all happy to fall at my feet, worship me, and obey for eternity. It didn't even matter if I was into their particular fetish, or if it was something I had no interest in. Nothing could turn me off more. Call me silly, but I require some kind of feeling, some kind of chemistry, SOMETHING more than "ok, you will stand still while I beat you? GREAT!" Maybe it's because I'm not in it just for the S&M, that's an important component, but not the basis of a relationship for me. I can't stand door mats, I don't want a sub/slave that bows or kneels to anyone with a Dominant/Master/Mistress label. So, the question is...S-types Could you submit to anyone? D types Could you Dominate anyone? And although, I'm sure that all COULD...would you want to? Could I, yes. Would I want to? No..I'm looking for a particular type of "doormat".

KnightofMists -> RE: Could it be just anyone? (9/30/2008 5:17:18 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: yourMissTress D types Could you Dominate anyone? And although, I'm sure that all COULD...would you want to? Personally... I think it is wishful thinking to suggest that I could Dominate anyone... I might try.. but just because I try ... doesn't mean I will succeed. And if all could..... then I have to wonder... why does so many D/s relationship fail? I dominate those that I want to... and those that want me to dominate them in return will lead to a pleasant journey. But... if they don't want to be dominating... well.... it doesn't tend to be a relationship that will endure for very long. I am more interested in relationships that will endure instead of the instant gratification kind.

mangle -> RE: Could it be just anyone? (9/30/2008 5:30:26 PM)
Could I bottom to anyone? No Could I submit to anyone? I will be honest, it really depends on what you mean by submit. Are you only referring to play parties? ( from your posts, that is the impression that I received ) I tend to let others be more assertive; not because I am what some would call a doormat, but because I just don’t see the point in asserting myself over every little thing; BUT, for me to give my all, there has to be more to the relationship than just some labels. peace with you marine

MidMichCowboy -> RE: Could it be just anyone? (9/30/2008 5:40:30 PM)
There have been a few times, to fulfill a fantasy, I have engaged in play with someone I was not normally intimate with. But it wasn't longterm. I have been told I'm too picky, fussy, or discriminating: but I know what I want. If she will submit to anyone .. that is her choice, but it's not what I want. I'm pretty clear in my profile: For those who can put up with all the things I have in my life that make relationships almost impossible, I ask the impossible. After all the mistakes I’ve made in my life, in spite of all the faults I possess, that you believe in me unconditionally. I also want to believe in you. I want you to see the strength that lies within me, the genius I possess. I want you to see and need the dichotomy of love and dominance, of pleasure and pain. I’m looking for a strong, complex woman who will take my breath away when I look at her and dazzle me with her intelligence. I want a woman who is smart, philosophical, childlike, mature, wild but needing to be led. I want and need the woman who can submit to the scholar, the cowboy, the gentleman, the barbarian, the child, and the father that is me. Simple to want .. probably impossible to find! But, cowboys have never been all that good with reality.

GreedyTop -> RE: Could it be just anyone? (9/30/2008 5:45:22 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CalifChick quote: ORIGINAL: yourMissTress So, the question is...S-types Could you submit to anyone? Well, submitting and bottoming are two different things. It sounds like you were describing bottoming at first, but then talking about submission toward the end. I can bottom to a larger number/variety of people than I can submit to. But for either one, there has to be something, an interest in their particular talent with a flogger, a certain vibe, whatever. Cali ditto

CallaFirestormBW -> RE: Could it be just anyone? (9/30/2008 6:27:06 PM)
~fast reply~ Wow, I guess I haven't met a lot of the folks of the majority opinion so far on this thread over the years of attending events and thoroughly enjoying the attentions and interaction with the truly awesome submissive folk who made sure I had a plate of food and a beverage of my choice, even though they weren't -mine-, or who gave themselves up to the desire to be of service (not just used, mind you... though I love the bottoms who do that to death, too...) and gave me the opportunity to decorate them with rosy stripes, multicolored sharps, and dancing flames... and all the amazing dominant types who made such beautiful patterns on the folks who offered themselves up for the evening and who weren't worried about whether this person ONLY wanted to submit to -them- or just really wanted to give themselves up to someone who would appreciate that they wanted to make the journey, for the sake of the journey. I honestly don't see what is wrong with the s-type who is eager to serve and is willing to just yield for the experience of submission... or with the d-type who is willing to give that s-type the opportunity to have that experience in service. Maybe someone can explain to me why this would be such a horrible thing, and what is so frigging bad about doormats, because I just don't think I -get- it. Calla Firestorm

yourMissTress -> RE: Could it be just anyone? (9/30/2008 7:25:54 PM)
Calla, I was not talking about bottoming...I gather from several replies that that is what the beginning of my post sounded like, but it was not my intent. I am talking about meeting someone for the first time, or playing after knowing them only casually, and having them fall all over themselves to "submit" to the dominant they barely know. And of course, this goes both ways, I have seen the dominants that think because they got to top someone, that person should suddenly kneel and proclaim everlasting devotion and service to them. And, let me add, there is nothing wrong with a doormat. I just don't want to have one in service to me.

Lynnxz -> RE: Could it be just anyone? (9/30/2008 7:49:14 PM)
I like to make sure there's chemistry, before we get all naked and kinky. [:D] There's plenty of people who'd want to hook up, but very few I'd like to stick around with.

alittleevil -> RE: Could it be just anyone? (9/30/2008 7:52:26 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CallaFirestormBW Wow, I guess I haven't met a lot of the folks of the majority opinion so far on this thread over the years of attending events and thoroughly enjoying the attentions and interaction with the truly awesome submissive folk who made sure I had a plate of food and a beverage of my choice, even though they weren't -mine-, or who gave themselves up to the desire to be of service (not just used, mind you... though I love the bottoms who do that to death, too...) and gave me the opportunity to decorate them with rosy stripes, multicolored sharps, and dancing flames... and all the amazing dominant types who made such beautiful patterns on the folks who offered themselves up for the evening and who weren't worried about whether this person ONLY wanted to submit to -them- or just really wanted to give themselves up to someone who would appreciate that they wanted to make the journey, for the sake of the journey. I honestly don't see what is wrong with the s-type who is eager to serve and is willing to just yield for the experience of submission... or with the d-type who is willing to give that s-type the opportunity to have that experience in service. Maybe someone can explain to me why this would be such a horrible thing, and what is so frigging bad about doormats, because I just don't think I -get- it. Greetings to You, raises hand Hello, i'm a___, and i guess i'm a doormat. Could it be just anyone? No...for example, someone more submissive than myself is unlikely to be much interested in me submitting to them ;-), but other than that, i have to be honest enough to admit that anyone more dominant than myself is...well, more dominant than myself and i would be submissive to them. It's not personal, no, it's just a kind of chemistry. Do i mostly desire to be sexually/sadistically dominated by someone with whom i share chemistry of various sorts? Certainly. Am i restrained by He who owns me to limit the actions or behaviors i might engage in? Absolutely. But whether in a one-to-one scenario or a larger group, i am one of the ones you will find being of service and attempting to please. It's just what i do. "No," even "No, thank you," does not come out of my mouth easily (unless you're offering me boiled okra...). I am most content and at peace when others are pleased with me, and pleased in general. It makes me easy to take advantage of, it makes me a little bit of a danger to myself, it has made my life at times much harder than it has needed to be--i will stipulate to all of that. Are my service and obedience to Master less valuable to him because i am rather generally compliant? It would hurt to think so. My best to all, aj

thishereboi -> RE: Could it be just anyone? (9/30/2008 8:02:47 PM)
Nope, I am very picky about who I play with.

MadRabbit -> RE: Could it be just anyone? (9/30/2008 8:03:57 PM)
I guess it depends. If the sexual chemistry is there, but not anything else, I can take it for what it is and enjoy it without wishing it was more. But I am not someone who's driving force is to fulfill his own sex drive. I am looking for connections that happen on more levels than the sexual and in the abscense of that, I tend to get bored really really fast. So given that, it's highly unlikely that my interactions with people would lead to solely a kink based relationship, because that is not what I am looking for or investing energy to get. When it has happened, it was just a product of the right circumstances. And while I took it for what it was and enjoyed it, it still didn't change the fact that I still got bored with it really really fast and therefore ended up fading off. I've been with a few really beautiful women who certainly stimulated me on a sexual and kinky level, but didn't work out for very long, because they didn't move me in any other way.

CallaFirestormBW -> RE: Could it be just anyone? (9/30/2008 8:16:34 PM)
I wasn't talking about bottoming -either-. I consider bottoming to be almost a separate category --more about the specific act than about submission per se-- heck, most of the bottoms I play aren't submissive aside from enjoying being on the receiving end of whatever we're playing... and honestly, when it comes to getting tats or piercings, I consider myself the bottom, because I -love- getting them, but I'm definitely not submissive. I was, and am, talking about the precious, darling s-types who are just dying to kneel at -someone's- feet. They may be new, untrained, they're eager as puppies. They're not necessarily discriminating, but honestly, that can come later. I have absolutely -no- problem with the idea of someone eager for the experience... I don't mind taking care of a "doormat" and giving hir some protection and a chance to blow off some of the frenzy. I don't even have a problem with being Dame "Right Now" while we -both- work towards finding that s-type a Dom or Dame "Right", if that's what xhe's looking for. Honestly, I completely understand a d-type preferring to have an s-type that is only hirs once they've clicked, but what I -don't- understand is the 'holier than thou', demeaning, self-righteous attitudes that act like there is something -wrong- or dirty or inappropriate about the person who is just plain -submissive-, in general. Heck, call them doormats... I'll gladly take one of those beautiful doormats off your hands, because you know what, that sense of complete submission to -life- just rocks my block... I guess I just can't fathom how someone who is dominant by nature could look at a person who is eager to yield and not see the beauty and perfection in them being just that way, so malleable, and so vulnerable, and so eager to be pleasing and so trusting that the community will have a place for them to be who they are without apology. To me, that is just absolutely, amazingly beautiful... and the way they look at you when you give them the chance to express their submission.... like sunlight on a waterfall. Calla Firestorm

Icarys -> RE: Could it be just anyone? (9/30/2008 8:35:54 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CallaFirestormBW I wasn't talking about bottoming -either-. I consider bottoming to be almost a separate category --more about the specific act than about submission per se-- heck, most of the bottoms I play aren't submissive aside from enjoying being on the receiving end of whatever we're playing... and honestly, when it comes to getting tats or piercings, I consider myself the bottom, because I -love- getting them, but I'm definitely not submissive. I was, and am, talking about the precious, darling s-types who are just dying to kneel at -someone's- feet. They may be new, untrained, they're eager as puppies. They're not necessarily discriminating, but honestly, that can come later. I have absolutely -no- problem with the idea of someone eager for the experience... I don't mind taking care of a "doormat" and giving hir some protection and a chance to blow off some of the frenzy. I don't even have a problem with being Dame "Right Now" while we -both- work towards finding that s-type a Dom or Dame "Right", if that's what xhe's looking for. Honestly, I completely understand a d-type preferring to have an s-type that is only hirs once they've clicked, but what I -don't- understand is the 'holier than thou', demeaning, self-righteous attitudes that act like there is something -wrong- or dirty or inappropriate about the person who is just plain -submissive-, in general. Heck, call them doormats... I'll gladly take one of those beautiful doormats off your hands, because you know what, that sense of complete submission to -life- just rocks my block... I guess I just can't fathom how someone who is dominant by nature could look at a person who is eager to yield and not see the beauty and perfection in them being just that way, so malleable, and so vulnerable, and so eager to be pleasing and so trusting that the community will have a place for them to be who they are without apology. To me, that is just absolutely, amazingly beautiful... and the way they look at you when you give them the chance to express their submission.... like sunlight on a waterfall. Calla Firestorm Well put.

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