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First Time Jitters - 8/2/2004 5:45:26 PM   
feline


Posts: 1101
Joined: 2/23/2004
From: CA
Status: offline 		Hello everyone,


I am going to meet a Dom/Master I have been talking with for over a year, this month. We both agreed we wanted to take this slow as we both have been disappointed in the past. This is a serious situation, and not something either one of us is taking lightly.


The thing is I am suffering from first time jitters. And from the "what if" syndrome. And I know that the closer the time gets the worse it's going to be.

So I was hoping that some of you out there might have some advice or like to share a "first time" story. I'd really appreciate it.


Thanks!




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Variety is the soul of pleasure.
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RE: First Time Jitters - 8/2/2004 6:11:02 PM   
proudsub


Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
Status: offline 		Feline, i'm sure you've read this thread but just a few reminders for you:

first time meeting

I hope it goes well for you.

_____________________________

proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts"--Alan Greenspan


(in reply to feline)
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RE: First Time Jitters - 8/2/2004 6:19:52 PM   
Sinergy


Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline 		Good luck, feline.

I would say that there is nothing wrong with having first-time jitters and apprehension and to not fight those feelings.

Simply share them and work through them and the two of you will remain when they are
gone.

Just me, etc.

Sinergy

_____________________________

"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle


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RE: First Time Jitters - 8/2/2004 6:28:51 PM   
feline


Posts: 1101
Joined: 2/23/2004
From: CA
Status: offline 		Thanks Proudsub. This is not the first time I have gone to meet someone. My safe calls are already lined up. I have friends and family members who know my flight schedule and all the other information. As well as a code phrase that will alert them that I am in trouble. I have had a back ground check run. And a few other things. But thank you for the thought.


Take care,




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_____________________________

Variety is the soul of pleasure.
~Aphra Behn~

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RE: First Time Jitters - 8/2/2004 7:00:02 PM   
Leonidas


Posts: 2078
Joined: 2/16/2004
Status: offline 		Not to worry, feline. Just remember:

The odds are only about 1 in 30 that he'll say "you looked younger in your pictures"

There is only about a 1 in 15 shot that your response to the first time he touches you expectedly will be to fart.

The chances that you won't notice that booger on the end of your nose before he does? 1 in 17.

Impotence only happens in 1 out of 11 first time meetings between dom and sub. There is, though, only a 1 in 100 shot that he'll believe you when you quote those odds to him if it happens.

The odds that you won't be able to help laughing the first time you see him naked because of the green lint in his bellybutton? only 1 in 62.

All in all, feline, the odds are way, way in your favor. Relax and have a good time.

Take care of yourself

Leonidas

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RE: First Time Jitters - 8/2/2004 7:53:10 PM   
ScorpioMaster


Posts: 146
Joined: 3/30/2004
Status: offline 		feline make sure you guys go slow and easy. Keep an open mind and let your inner voice be your guide. I have played with some one for the first time and I would go slow and easy with some mild bondage. So make sure nothing too extreme for the first time like caneing or wooden paddles. The Dom for the first time should never go too extreme. Good luck. I know some Dominates will talk with them for the first time.

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RE: First Time Jitters - 8/2/2004 8:32:50 PM   
topcat


Posts: 1675
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Tidewater, VA
Status: offline
quote:

So I was hoping that some of you out there might have some advice


Midear Feline-


I'd give one bit of advice. If it seems good, and it's working and you want it-

do it- do it and don't look back, think twice or hesitate.

In my life, the greatest regrets have been the things I didn't do.

Stay warm,

Lawrence

_____________________________

-there is no remission without blood-

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RE: First Time Jitters - 8/2/2004 8:51:05 PM   
LadyBeckett


Posts: 865
Joined: 2/4/2004
From: Scotland/Tennessee
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Leonidas

Not to worry, feline. Just remember:

The odds are only about 1 in 30 that he'll say "you looked younger in your pictures"

There is only about a 1 in 15 shot that your response to the first time he touches you expectedly will be to fart.

The chances that you won't notice that booger on the end of your nose before he does? 1 in 17.

Impotence only happens in 1 out of 11 first time meetings between dom and sub. There is, though, only a 1 in 100 shot that he'll believe you when you quote those odds to him if it happens.

The odds that you won't be able to help laughing the first time you see him naked because of the green lint in his bellybutton? only 1 in 62.

All in all, feline, the odds are way, way in your favor. Relax and have a good time.

Take care of yourself

Leonidas


We should get little cards printed up with "First Meeting Guidelines" on one side, and this on the other!

_____________________________

Lady Beckett

_______________________________________________

"Submissive boys yearn to fall into their proper place, so the rest of their life will." ~ Lady Beckett

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RE: First Time Jitters - 8/2/2004 11:15:22 PM   
baileythorne


Posts: 264
Joined: 6/6/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: feline

So I was hoping that some of you out there might have some advice or like to share a "first time" story. I'd really appreciate it.


Thanks!




Check the post in my sig line about a first meeting. I flew to NY to meet Topcat about 6 weeks after finding him online. We were both a nervous wreck when we first met. We went to dinner. I remember thinking that he was much too nice to be what I was looking for, but later, when I made it clear to him I wanted to play, I found that I was wrong. He was both a gentleman and a dominant and a sadist.

I had an ephipany at that meeting: "nice guys" need to have clear consent to let you see their other side. In Lawrence's case, he needed me to ask him to play that first time. To him, that prevented him from becoming a preditor. Very important to him. Once we got past that hurdle, we haven't looked back. I no longer have to initiate, although I can.

So if I have any advice, other than the good advice posted here on first meetings: don't let your first impression of this man in person be your only impression. There may be much more that he feels he needs your buy-in to share -- and I see that as a very good thing.

--bailey

_____________________________

Dance like no one's watching and
Love like you've never been hurt.

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RE: First Time Jitters - 8/2/2004 11:49:10 PM   
LadyBeckett


Posts: 865
Joined: 2/4/2004
From: Scotland/Tennessee
Status: offline
quote:

I had an ephipany at that meeting: "nice guys" need to have clear consent to let you see their other side. In Lawrence's case, he needed me to ask him to play that first time. To him, that prevented him from becoming a preditor. Very important to him. Once we got past that hurdle, we haven't looked back. I no longer have to initiate, although I can.


I actually could have quoted your entire post here, bailey, but this was the part that I felt was the most important to me. When I meet someone for the first time, in person, it is really important to me to get past those first meeting "jitters". I don't have them as a rule, but I certainly encounter them in others. lol That one line is so important, that "understanding" that avoids any misunderstandings at all!!

quote:

don't let your first impression of this man in person be your only impression. There may be much more that he feels he needs your buy-in to share -- and I see that as a very good thing.


This is invaluable! Well said, bailey!

_____________________________

Lady Beckett

_______________________________________________

"Submissive boys yearn to fall into their proper place, so the rest of their life will." ~ Lady Beckett

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RE: First Time Jitters - 8/3/2004 12:08:18 AM   
Sundew02


Posts: 457
Joined: 2/6/2004
Status: offline 		Stay focused on your goal, wear something that travels well (doesnt wringle) Keep your appearance YOU. Don't go for the look that is not practical. You want to present a good impression, but not one that you can't reproduce on a day to day basis. In otherwords, be yourself. Make a quick run to the ladies room before meeting him. You don't want to have to immediately excuse yourself to run empty a nervous bladder 5 min. after meeting him, check for that bogger, now that Leonidas has planted that thought. Carry breath mints and wear your favorite perfume. Plan for the worst as far as appearance goes (that unexpected spill from gripping your drink with shaking fingers) carry spot remover wipes. And remember this is supposed to be fun, ENJOY. Sundew

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~~~~~Enjoy the ride, the landing could get painful~~~~

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RE: First Time Jitters - 8/3/2004 12:37:57 AM   
Thanatosian


Posts: 765
Joined: 5/10/2004
From: New Castle, PA
Status: offline
quote:

because of the green lint in his bellybutton


I am curious, are you a fan of Mr Green Jeans from Kaptain Kangaroo? since the research I read showed the most common colour for bellybutton lint to be blue (from blue jeans)

couldn't resist a little twitting here, am getting goofy with sleep deprivation

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An expert is somone who has made all the mistakes there are to be made

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RE: First Time Jitters - 8/3/2004 3:56:12 AM   
slavewoman


Posts: 21
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		When I met Master for the first time, I was quite nervous. He met me at my car and, as we looked each other up and down, he asked if I was nervous. I admitted I was and he said, "good". I asked him why and he said, "Because I am." I must have looked surprised because he then said, "You wouldn't want to do this with a robot would you?"

I can't tell you how much those words did to ease my nerves.

Best of luck and I hope all well for you.

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RE: First Time Jitters - 8/3/2004 12:13:20 PM   
darchart


Posts: 35
Joined: 7/20/2004
Status: offline 		I did warn ya that I was gunna post...LOL

I have a few things to add to the list of things to do or not to do.

#1. Since you are going on a plane ( i know this already having had prior information), Do Not put any toys in your carry-on luggage..The xrays will show them up and you really dont want the gentleman doing the searches to have to suffer with an arousal for the rest of his shift after he takes them out and has to examine them.

#2. Do not make biting comments on the first visit to see if he really does own a ballgag..*snickers*

#3. Dont wear your 5 inch heels for the plane ride. WHile they will be fine for later..all that walking in them will tire your legs and give ya those lil veiny things in your calves.

#4. If he asks you if you would like a shower after your long trip, make sure he is specific about what kind.

#5. If he offers you a drink and you are not in a public place..see rule #4. *hmm.. on second thought, even if you are in a public place..*

#6. If he has naval lint, Do Not point and snicker. Remember he is a Dom and there could be reprecussions.. on second thought..laugh!

#7. Be sure and pack preparation H for the lil circles beneath your eyes, since I know you arent going to sleep again until your trip and you dont want to hear those words.."you looked so much younger in your pictures"
I recommend you hide it though unless you mean to use it as a toy as well.

#8. Do Not purposefully antagonize him on your first night just to get to sit in the corner. (and you KNOW what I mean)

#9. Make sure you have a way devised to take notes..so I can live vicariously later..


All joking aside.. Just relax, and have a good time. Get to know him, Let him get to know you. Its not like you two just started talking a lil while ago. You have been discovering each other a long time now and this is just an extension of what you began a year ago.
*big big hugs*

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Profile   Post #: 14
RE: First Time Jitters - 8/3/2004 1:29:11 PM   
subbiejenn


Posts: 631
Joined: 7/12/2004
Status: offline 		Hi feline,

good luck with your meet and i would think something is wrong if you didnt have the jitters

i would think if Y/you have been talking for over a year Y/you also know each other very well along with limits and beliefs....

i have meet a couple Dom's offline all who have been very nice and not a harm to me physically or mentally.... none of which was the "right" Dom for me but all of which i have remained friends with.

just take all the precautions and be yourself.... can't wait to hear how things went Good Luck again and just remember to think about your safety 1st!!

_____________________________

~Subspace is my perfect paradise vacation from busy-mind... blessed be to the Dominant who can stamp my ticket there.~

"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away"

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RE: First Time Jitters - 8/3/2004 1:51:44 PM   
proudsub


Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
Status: offline
quote:

have a few things to add to the list of things to do or not to do.


Very funny, thanks for the laugh darchart.

_____________________________

proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts"--Alan Greenspan


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RE: First Time Jitters - 8/3/2004 2:47:13 PM   
feline


Posts: 1101
Joined: 2/23/2004
From: CA
Status: offline 		LMAO! Thank you so much! I don't think I have laughed that hard in a while. That was great!


Thanks again,




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Variety is the soul of pleasure.
~Aphra Behn~

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RE: First Time Jitters - 8/3/2004 3:24:57 PM   
feline


Posts: 1101
Joined: 2/23/2004
From: CA
Status: offline 		I would like to Thank everyone who posted. Your words and advice have been fantastic. And I appreciate all of them. Everyone has been a great help.


As for you "demon child" (you know who you are) your time is coming! *WEG* love ya darc.


Thanks again everyone!




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_____________________________

Variety is the soul of pleasure.
~Aphra Behn~

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RE: First Time Jitters - 8/3/2004 11:04:16 PM   
baileythorne


Posts: 264
Joined: 6/6/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: darchart

#1. Since you are going on a plane ( i know this already having had prior information), Do Not put any toys in your carry-on luggage..The xrays will show them up and you really dont want the gentleman doing the searches to have to suffer with an arousal for the rest of his shift after he takes them out and has to examine them.


I took a big flogger through JFK Monday morning. Something else caused them to check the bag, but the guy didn't really blink at the flogger. He asked, "so is this a whip?" I answered, "Close enough". He asked me if I'd taken it through before and I nodded, in a rather bored manner, "yes". He said they needed to check the manual. They did. It was ok, and off I went. Nothing really phases the TSA folks at this point & nothing really phases me either. It wasn't a big deal. Maybe I should take a dildo through next time just for grins.

I don't check luggage due to the fact that I've had friends ripped off. If I'm taking, I'm taking it carry on. As far as leaving the TSA guy with a hard-on, that is his problem.

--bailey

_____________________________

Dance like no one's watching and
Love like you've never been hurt.

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RE: First Time Jitters - 8/4/2004 7:55:20 AM   
ThornBlood


Posts: 91
Joined: 3/5/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: baileythorne

quote:

ORIGINAL: darchart

Maybe I should take a dildo through next time just for grins.


--bailey


Just laughs about the time that a subbie friend of mine took the new clit stimulator I gave her for a present through the airport. Will want to know if your face turned as red as hers!

John

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