tsatske
Posts: 2037
Joined: 3/9/2007
From: Louisville, KY
Status: offline
|
Many things work when it comes to changing habits.
I doubt that adults can be 'punished' out of bad habits - short of very unpleasant, Gantanamo Bay type of full life experience, and I'm not even 100% sure about that.
There is this idea that people sometimes seem to have that, well, if you want to change a habit, decide you ain't gonna do it no more, and, there, that's that. If that worked, of course, no one would have a bad habit, in the first place.
Many different things work to change habits, but the first thing is that an Adult has to make the decision that they want the habit changed. She has already done this. But you are right - without that step, punishment would surely fail to change a habit.
Ever take the college class where you try to change a habit as the class assignment. It is a psche class, meant to give psche students the chance to see several different behavior mod techniques in action. The first step is - everyone chooses their own habit to change, so you start with each person actually having decided to commit to change. The second thing is, everyone chooses their own plan for changing, so they believe in and are comfortable with the technique being used.
There will always be someone who uses the rubberband method. This is punishment, and most people who use it find that it works, at least for small habits. Now, If YOU decided I needed to quit something, and everytime you saw me do it you shot a rubberband at me, that wouldn't work. Even if you told me, everytime, WHY you did it, what would get through to me would be not, 'oh, yea, i need to stop doing that.', but, 'sumbeach, that idjet keeps shooting rubber bands at me! Fuck, that hurts! Stop that!' Her full participation is key.
The other thing you do need to keep in mind, Milf. First, habits are hard to break - that is why they are habits. It may take several punishments. Do not beat yourself up as a failure, just keep trying. Second, decide what is most important to you, - changing the habit, or 'letting' him punish you? You and Master need to talk, and keep communication open. Many people who have finally broken free of a bad habit have had to try several different things before one 'took'. If punishment, after a while, does not seem to be working, talk about it and figure out why.
Lastly, not every habit can be successfully broken. However, every habit has a 'why'. You may succeed if you figure out the 'why'. What do you get out of this that is good or pleasurable to you? and what did you get out of it to begin with that caused you to form the habit, that perhaps you no longer get because things have changed? These have separate answers, and figuring out the answers will help you work successfully to break the habit.
Rewards are good, too. It is generally suggested that a daily habit takes 21 days to form. habit replacement is often the easiest habit changing technique. If you can find a positive habit to replace the negative one, then keep a calendar and do it for 21 days, then you might ask Master to reward you when you reach day 21 without punishment. just a suggestion.
< Message edited by tsatske -- 9/30/2008 5:36:12 AM >
_____________________________
“If you never did you should. These things are fun and fun is good”
~Dr. Seuss quote
|
Preparing for Discipline - 
Profile
RE: Preparing for Discipline - 
New Messages
No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages
Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages
Locked w/o New Messages
Post New Thread