What's your worst hook-up ever? (Full Version)

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Darkcast -> What's your worst hook-up ever? (9/29/2008 8:24:29 PM)

Okay so how many people have hooked up with somebody online (via this site, another site, whatever) and it was the worst thing ever?

My story:

This happened a few weeks ago, I was on the East Coast of Florida at the time due to it being the weekend.  Anyway I'm on my laptop and I get an IM from someone saying that they were someone that had replied to "my" post on craigslist.   Now let me tell you I never had a post on craigslist at the time but decided to see where this went.  So I continue talking to them and find out she's in west palm, she sends me a  face pic and I can tell you she looks good.

Anyway I make the decision to drive up there.  So I get their and the person I met was the same person but she was HUGE.  Now me being the horny son of a bitch I am and driving an hour said to myself "meh screw it this'll make a great story."  So I go inside and and we're making having a little bit of foreplay and I go to strip her down and that's where EVERYTHING went to hell.

I take off her clothes and I find that her ENTIRE upper back is full of back her....and she has a penis!!!.  Now honestly I have a slight thing for trannies...but this was DISGUSTING!!.  I basically freaked the hell out, got out of their, and drove as fast as I could not just to Fort Lauderdale, but back to Naples as I wanted to be as far away from West Palm as I could.  I think I almost puked three or so times thinking about it on the way back.

....needless to say it did make a great story.




Termyn8or -> RE: What's your worst hook-up ever? (9/29/2008 8:52:19 PM)

Talk about a bad day.

Have a few beers and burn a fattie. That should fix you up.

T




LadyBeckett -> RE: What's your worst hook-up ever? (9/29/2008 9:04:29 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Termyn8or

Talk about a bad day.

Have a few beers and burn a fattie. That should fix you up.

T


I think a fattie may refresh the unpleasant memory. ha ha  The unintended puns are always the best! 

Oh and Darkcast...that was a scary story!  *shudder* 




Darkcast -> RE: What's your worst hook-up ever? (9/29/2008 9:28:19 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyBeckett

quote:

ORIGINAL: Termyn8or

Talk about a bad day.

Have a few beers and burn a fattie. That should fix you up.

T



I think a fattie may refresh the unpleasant memory. ha ha  The unintended puns are always the best! 

Oh and Darkcast...that was a scary story!  *shudder* 


BACK HAIR!!! *pukes*




darchChylde -> RE: What's your worst hook-up ever? (9/29/2008 11:10:29 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Darkcast

BACK HAIR!!! *pukes*



Yeah, there are some things that I just can't help but wonder how women get past them; and in some cases, love or are turned on by them.




Darkcast -> RE: What's your worst hook-up ever? (9/30/2008 9:58:23 AM)

Out of curiosity...does nobody have a story thats just as bad or worse than mine?  I mean I know mines pretty bad but I don't like winning this easily.




sirsholly -> RE: What's your worst hook-up ever? (9/30/2008 10:28:53 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Darkcast

Out of curiosity...does nobody have a story thats just as bad or worse than mine?  I mean I know mines pretty bad but I don't like winning this easily.


i am 5'10.
i met a guy who told me he was 5'9.
he was 5'5.

it does not compare to back hair...but i was a bit pissed that he thought i wouldn't notice.




Lynnxz -> RE: What's your worst hook-up ever? (9/30/2008 10:30:32 AM)

I met with a guy who turned out to be 30 years older than he told me.... That was awkward.

No backmat stories though.. thank god.




VirginPotty -> RE: What's your worst hook-up ever? (9/30/2008 12:22:51 PM)

I met a guy from another site who said he was a former weight lifter and was in shape. I should have asked how LONG it'd been 'cuz it had obviously been a LONG, LONG time!  PLUS he stink, stank STUNK!!!  We were alone, he was trying to "have his way" w/me & I told him that I forgot something out in my car. A surprise I just KNOW he would like. I grabbed my purse/jacket (luckily it was cold out) and I left. He called me later that night & left a voicemail saying how anxious he was to see this "surprise" and that he was still waiting!  Dumb a$$!!!!!  Dumb, out of shape AND smelly do not make a good date!!!

**Eta, no wonder I'm still a Virgin**!




Aynne88 -> RE: What's your worst hook-up ever? (9/30/2008 1:05:16 PM)

K, horrified to even tell this one but I had a guy come to meet me in shorts, sandals and SUPPORT STOCKINGS..just like my Nana. Seriously. He spent twenty minutes telling me about his medical issues and I finally excused myself and bolted. Not to mention he looked like George Costanza. Oh, and he smelled like cheese and burning ass hair. I don't know how I know that but I do. [:-]




sunshinemiss -> RE: What's your worst hook-up ever? (9/30/2008 1:05:21 PM)

ok, I was in Asia and had a hookup withthis sweet young fellow in his twenties.  He got undressed and had yeast infection EVERYWHERE... rash, the smell, all that.  Wanted to know why I wouldn't... you know.

So in teacherly fashion I educated him about all the marks on his body, the scent-stench, and the itchies. 

oh god.




Aynne88 -> RE: What's your worst hook-up ever? (9/30/2008 1:06:45 PM)

WINNA WINNA chicken dinna Sunshine. Lol, that takes the cake. With yeast of course. ewwwww[:(]




sirsholly -> RE: What's your worst hook-up ever? (9/30/2008 1:07:26 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: VirginPotty

Dumb, out of shape AND smelly do not make a good date!!!

**Eta, no wonder I'm still a Virgin**!


i could NOT have said this any better!!!!!!!!!!

[sm=rofl.gif][sm=rofl.gif][sm=rofl.gif][sm=rofl.gif][sm=rofl.gif][sm=rofl.gif][sm=rofl.gif][sm=rofl.gif][sm=rofl.gif][sm=rofl.gif][sm=rofl.gif]




VirginPotty -> RE: What's your worst hook-up ever? (9/30/2008 1:12:46 PM)

[sm=gaah.gif][sm=ignore.gif]




sirsholly -> RE: What's your worst hook-up ever? (9/30/2008 1:13:59 PM)

better than any insult i coulda slung...




trappedinamuseum -> RE: What's your worst hook-up ever? (9/30/2008 1:17:24 PM)

Not really sure this tops the "I thought you were a woman" story, but this is my worst hook up.  It was just casual sex and was going quite well, in my opinion.  I was on my knees and he was doing his thing and it was slightly uncomfortable because he was incredibly large and I was relatively inexperiened.  So, he is just thrusting along and all of a sudden I feel this searing pain, and I was almost too stunned to him him go, "Oops...wrong hole".

Needless to say, that was a mood killer right there.




VivaciousSub -> RE: What's your worst hook-up ever? (9/30/2008 2:07:07 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: trappedinamuseum

Not really sure this tops the "I thought you were a woman" story, but this is my worst hook up.  It was just casual sex and was going quite well, in my opinion.  I was on my knees and he was doing his thing and it was slightly uncomfortable because he was incredibly large and I was relatively inexperienced.  So, he is just thrusting along and all of a sudden I feel this searing pain, and I was almost too stunned to him him go, "Oops...wrong hole".

Needless to say, that was a mood killer right there.


I'll bet it was - in his defense I've had more than one well-meaning gentleman get lost in the thrust pattern and whoops, it slips. I don't begrudge them the mistake, even if it is a mood killer at first (I always start laughing). Mostly because I've run into the guys (or been run into by) that pull the stunt located in my 2nd paragraph.

I have also had guys that clearly tried to do the "let's see if I can sneak this in the back door and...DAMN! NO! SHE KNOWS THE DIFFERENCE!" shtick. These ones, I am not laughing.




Macslittleimp -> RE: What's your worst hook-up ever? (9/30/2008 2:08:05 PM)

I can completely relate on this one.  About 8 years ago I started chatting with someone online just as friends.  We talked about our current relationships, work, etc.  About a year and a half later we were both single and had the whole "what I'm looking for is staring me in the face" (so to speak) epiphany..  Well, "he" was in Virginia and I was just outside of Philadelphia..  OK, 6 hour drive, make a weekend of it,  no big deal.  So I hopped in my car and started driving.  Boy was I in for a surprise when I got there.  First off, the address I was given was to the Navy base in Norfolk.  Ok, didn't know he was in the military...  have to talk about that one.  Then I call.  HAHA here is where the fun truly begins.  Supposedly he blew out his knee in an accident and was in the ER, but his "sister" would meet me at the gate.  Low and behold, he had an identical twin sister.  Hmmmm,  not believing this for one minute.  To make a long story short, "he" was a she all along.  She posed as a man online, had online relationships with countless women and to this day has never admitted the truth to any of them.  Needless to say I turned around and went right back home lolol

And people wonder why I have harsh opinions about online relationships (at least until people meet in person and well...  even then I am the ever skeptic).




VivaciousSub -> RE: What's your worst hook-up ever? (9/30/2008 2:08:22 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss

ok, I was in Asia and had a hookup withthis sweet young fellow in his twenties.  He got undressed and had yeast infection EVERYWHERE... rash, the smell, all that.  Wanted to know why I wouldn't... you know.

So in teacherly fashion I educated him about all the marks on his body, the scent-stench, and the itchies. 

oh god.


[:'(][:'(][:'(][:'(][:'(][:'(][:'(][:'(][:'(][:'(][:'(][:'(][:'(][:'(][:'(][:'(][:'(][:'(][:'(]

I think I threw up a little in my mouth, there.




persephonee -> RE: What's your worst hook-up ever? (9/30/2008 2:09:53 PM)

hey...waiiiiitt....thats not how anal is supposed to go????.....*dials the phone madly to bitch at someone...he knows who he is...*




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