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RE: Questions about my sub - 9/30/2008 6:42:43 PM

peppermint

Posts: 5171
Joined: 10/18/2005
From: Montana
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quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

Best advice: Talk to her. She's the only one that truly knows

quote:

ORIGINAL: peppermint
You should talk with her and then go with her to her next gynocologist visit. There are blood tests that can spot those hormonal changes that are part of this phase of a woman's life.
As for this: I'm perfectly capable of going to the gynecologist and getting all the necessary tests by myself, thank you. Having Master go with me would accomplish nothing good.

I'm sorry, in our household we go to all doctor appointments. I go to his. He goes to mine. We consider any health issues as shared issues. Before Gary and I considered living together he insisted that I accompany him to his twice yearly checkup for his lung transplant so that I might ask the doctor questions. He wanted to make sure I understood his condition.

I suggested OP accompany his submissive to add his support to her. We do not know if she is depressed, having empty nest syndrome, hormonal...or any other issues. I thought going with her would show the concern he has for her. Her allowing him to go shows her willingness to face a problem together...as a couple. I'm certain she is capable of taking herself to the doctor. I never questioned her capabilities.

< Message edited by peppermint -- 9/30/2008 6:44:14 PM >

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RE: Questions about my sub - 9/30/2008 7:05:40 PM

VivaciousSub

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Joined: 9/7/2008
From: Tampa, FL
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quote:

suggested OP accompany his submissive to add his support to her. We do not know if she is depressed, having empty nest syndrome, hormonal...or any other issues. I thought going with her would show the concern he has for her. Her allowing him to go shows her willingness to face a problem together...as a couple. I'm certain she is capable of taking herself to the doctor. I never questioned her capabilities.

Agreed. I am perfectly capable of going all by myself. I am a big girl now and have lived on my own for a long time. However, I appreciated it greatly when my Sir offered to come with me to get tested for STDs and such. That shows support, affection and caring and I loved that he offered. It had nothing to do with my capabilities.

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RE: Questions about my sub - 9/30/2008 8:32:34 PM

OsideGirl

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Well..from my point of view...gyn visits are humiliating and extremely stressful. As a cancer survivor, the number of tests that I go through leave me cranky, stressed out and unhappy. I don't feel the need for either of us to go through. I'll happily update him on the entire visit, but I don't wish for him to see me like that.

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RE: Questions about my sub - 9/30/2008 9:34:31 PM

christine1

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Joined: 12/15/2007
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OP, maybe she's not feeling needed by you. when her son comes home it makes her feel good and gives her a purpose.
of course i don't know your situation, but when i don't feel needed and appreciated i'm not very responsive at all. it's something to think about at least.

< Message edited by christine1 -- 9/30/2008 9:35:20 PM >

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RE: Questions about my sub - 9/30/2008 9:38:19 PM

girlygurl

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Joined: 8/5/2007
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Communication is the key.

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RE: Questions about my sub - 9/30/2008 9:52:36 PM

Lordandmaster

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Ask her what's going on, and if you don't anywhere with that, find a new sub. Sounds callous, but really, what else is anyone supposed to say? Kinda makes things more complicated that you married her.

quote:

ORIGINAL: midnitedom

I have been married to my sub for 8 years, when things first started everything was great but now the past year she has not been interested in the lifestyle, sex, or even to give hugs or cuddling anymore. Seems the only time she is happy is when her 23 year old son comes home and then she jumps to his every need. Any advice?

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RE: Questions about my sub - 10/1/2008 5:09:40 AM

Dnomyar

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Op that last statement I would ignore. I mean really who takes advice from an horny elephant.

< Message edited by Dnomyar -- 10/1/2008 5:10:12 AM >

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RE: Questions about my sub - 10/1/2008 7:33:15 AM

DesFIP

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The other reason to be accompanied to a doctor's appointment is that they are stressful and frequently the doctor is rushed so you don't get all your questions asked or fully answered. Having someone else there to say "wait a sec, doc, there's another problem we need to talk about" can be very useful.

But marriage counseling is something that would be very beneficial in reopening the lines of communication. This isn't a d/s thing. It's a people thing. Either she's tried to talk to him and he ignored her so she's given up or she's resentful or depressed or something else to a point that she doesn't even bother talking because she feels it won't do any good.

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