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RE: Humiliation - 10/1/2008 3:11:51 AM   
RealSub58


Posts: 1073
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: IvyMorgan

I'm curious why you're asking, if it's for suggestions as to what to do with your sub, then you need to get to know them and what makes them tick, because humiliation is very unique to the individual.


Agreed.  I also dont do humilation, my Sir discussed this with me very early and discovered my limits for humiliation were intolerable.  I do know of others who like verbal humilation and thrive on it, crave it.  The more verbal and physical the humilation they receive, the greater the submission.  This is difficult for me to comprehend.
 
Humilition is uniquely individualistic.... get to know the sub. 

(in reply to IvyMorgan)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Humiliation - 10/1/2008 5:38:23 AM   
sunshinemiss


Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Daes

He made me sing Good Ship Lollipop while he fucked me on my bed >.>;



I think that is the funnest thing I have read in a long long time.  You got yourself a good one darling!

_____________________________

Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14

(in reply to Daes)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Humiliation - 10/1/2008 12:11:32 PM   
MrHarsh


Posts: 56
Joined: 9/28/2008
Status: offline 		Just my 2cents....

While it's true that every person's turn on are different, and that getting into the sub's head is what it's all about, I think that it's ok for people to share their particular turn-ons.  Yes, it might not work for everyone, but on the other hand somebody might read something and say "WOW! I have to try that."

Humiliation can be a tricky thing.  Personally I enjoy making sub write things on herself (like SLUT, WHORE, whatever) in pen so that it will stick around a few days; then it will serve as a reminder.  I like taking my sub out in public, so something like having her crawl around naked outside with something long and attention getting sticking out her ass (use your imagination) is a big thrill for me.  (Imagine having her crawl naked down a hotel hallway with a hairbrush in her ass). Having a sub beg for her humiliation is also satisfying.

I'm sure most folks wouldn't like it, but for the two or three who think it's hot, this post is for you. :-)


(in reply to dreamerdreaming)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Humiliation - 10/1/2008 12:34:12 PM   
akisha


Posts: 2071
Joined: 6/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MrHarsh

I like taking my sub out in public, so something like having her crawl around naked outside with something long and attention getting sticking out her ass (use your imagination) is a big thrill for me.  (Imagine having her crawl naked down a hotel hallway with a hairbrush in her ass). Having a sub beg for her humiliation is also satisfying.





See this is stuff I have a serious problem with, because you are involving unconsenting people into your kink. Especially the hotel thing seeing as there usually is lots of minors in hotels.

For me, the little senario you just posted is complete rude.

Now if you changed it having done it or doing it at a pansexual or lifestyle camp out or some such, then i think it's fine and yes such a think would make me blush from top to bottom.

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(in reply to MrHarsh)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Humiliation - 10/1/2008 2:54:03 PM   
IvyMorgan


Posts: 729
Joined: 7/5/2007
From: Midlands, UK
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MineToControl

Did the heading say........."Ask a sub anything?"  I'm asking because a sub I just met is very interested in humilliation.  So as a serious Dom I would like to educate myself more on what types of humiliation other sub's enjoy?

This isn't a trick question....
In which case, I stand by my previous statement of "get to know her and what makes her tick".

For some, watersports are a humiliation, for others, they're just arousing and hot.  For some scat is humiliating, for others, it's a hard limit.  For some, being called stupid and fat would be humiliating, from others, you'd get a kick in the balls.

Talk to the sub, learn about the sub, find out from her what she thinks might humiliate her (she's into is, she's got to have some ideas, right?) mix those ideas up a bit, add a few things of your own in a similar vein that you feel might work and would spice things up, and then go slow and see what happens.

(in reply to MineToControl)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Humiliation - 10/1/2008 4:43:32 PM   
MrHarsh


Posts: 56
Joined: 9/28/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: akisha

quote:

ORIGINAL: MrHarsh

I like taking my sub out in public, so something like having her crawl around naked outside with something long and attention getting sticking out her ass (use your imagination) is a big thrill for me.  (Imagine having her crawl naked down a hotel hallway with a hairbrush in her ass). Having a sub beg for her humiliation is also satisfying.





See this is stuff I have a serious problem with, because you are involving unconsenting people into your kink. Especially the hotel thing seeing as there usually is lots of minors in hotels.

For me, the little senario you just posted is complete rude.

Now if you changed it having done it or doing it at a pansexual or lifestyle camp out or some such, then i think it's fine and yes such a think would make me blush from top to bottom.


That's an interesting perspective. I never really thought of spectators to be "involved." 

To be fair, I would never do the hotel thing except at night when all the kids should be in bed.

I can understand how you might find it rude, which is fine.  Not everyone enjoys the same things. To each his or her own, I say.

(in reply to akisha)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Humiliation - 10/1/2008 5:43:57 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MrHarsh

That's an interesting perspective. I never really thought of spectators to be "involved." 

To be fair, I would never do the hotel thing except at night when all the kids should be in bed.

I can understand how you might find it rude, which is fine.  Not everyone enjoys the same things. To each his or her own, I say.



If I was in the hotel room next door, and my teen went out for ice and came back telling me he saw this, I would be royally pissed. Yes I would call the desk and complain and I might even demand they get the authorities involved at which point you are both going to be registered sex offenders.

I do not consent to taking part in your sex life and making me, or a teen, or anyone else for that matter observe this is forcing your sex life on others.

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Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to MrHarsh)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Humiliation - 10/1/2008 7:10:05 PM   
shymetalsub


Posts: 56
Joined: 9/24/2008
Status: offline 		I'm really not into humiliation, at least in the more extreme and public forms. The weird thing for some of us subs is that we're a lot more limited in reality than we are in fantasy. It can be easy to think humiliation is a turn on when in fact it's just... humiliating? Yeah, that's the word!

I've gone through phases where I tried to force myself to like humiliation, just because I felt it made me more of a sub. But it really doesn't work that way. A submissive that won't stand up for his/her dignity in public is spineless, and a dominant who would go through with something very public has to be a little crazy- I mean, a loving dom is going to want a piece of human property he/she can brag about and show everyone, not some quivering, pathetic thing that the whole neighborhood laughs at and pities. Maybe public humiliation could work on a vacation in a far away place where no one would know the D/s couple, but I'd bet that no dominant would want to be known publicly as an abusive megalomaniac who picks on a weak willed partner. This particular fetish just doesn't work, the dom would suffer socially nearly as badly as the pet/slave, if not worse.

Then again you could argue that more private forms of humiliation are effective.



(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Humiliation - 10/1/2008 9:08:10 PM   
sunshinemiss


Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MrHarsh


That's an interesting perspective. I never really thought of spectators to be "involved." 

To be fair, I would never do the hotel thing except at night when all the kids should be in bed.

I can understand how you might find it rude, which is fine.  Not everyone enjoys the same things. To each his or her own, I say.



There are often cameras in hotels, and what you are having her do is if I am not mistaken illegal and could put her on a list should she be arrested for it... Could cause some serious problems there having a convicted sexual deviant on your hands.

_____________________________

Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14

(in reply to MrHarsh)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Humiliation - 10/1/2008 10:15:09 PM   
Jeptha


Posts: 780
Joined: 9/18/2008
From: Portland, Oregon
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MrHarsh

Just my 2cents....

While it's true that every person's turn on are different, and that getting into the sub's head is what it's all about, I think that it's ok for people to share their particular turn-ons. Yes, it might not work for everyone, but on the other hand somebody might read something and say "WOW! I have to try that."

I agree. The OP will learn about his sub and what works for her, but it's also interesting to hear other's thoughts and experiences.
quote:


Humiliation can be a tricky thing....Imagine having her crawl naked down a hotel hallway with a hairbrush in her ass...

I'm sure most folks wouldn't like it, but for the two or three who think it's hot, this post is for you. :-)

I think it makes a good fantasy, but as others have mentioned, in reality discovery could be just too ...imminent! And, there's something about the proximity; if a door opens or someone turns down the hallway, voila!, they're involved in the scene (as incidental spectators or witnesses at the very least.)
And because they can't consent to that, and it is possible there could be minors involved, it's not a good idea.
I have done things in the woods where there is the potential for discovery, but I think the greater distances could give all involved time to react, change course, etc.

(in reply to MrHarsh)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Humiliation - 10/2/2008 8:38:54 AM   
allthatjaz


Posts: 2878
Joined: 8/20/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DiurnalVampire


 
From the humiliation play I have taken part of , the whole trick is to get inside someone's head and figure out what will mortify them...

my 2 cents
DV



I agree about getting inside the head. I think any clued up dominant is going to do his homework and find out about what goes on in that submissives mind because only then can they look at pulling the right triggers.

I don't believe the word 'mortify' is an apt one.
I was recently asked to remove my breast in a restaurant and put on a nipple clamp. I was mortified/sickened/turned right off.
On the same night he asked me to lick his shoulder in public and again I was mortified/sickened/turned right off.

Now if I was amongst scene friendly company and asked to lower my eyes and not speak until given permission. If I was to be interrogated, have my face slapped, I would be embarrassed, nicely humiliated and very, very humbled but my god I would be wet!

(in reply to DiurnalVampire)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Humiliation - 10/2/2008 1:47:36 PM   
littleone35


Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline 		Humiliation is not for me.  Is is so not for me that it is a hard limit of mine.  Judging by the post it is something that some pople really love.  I must say i am on the side with people who hate it.  I am lucky though it was never an issue between Master and I because it is something he does not do.

Matt's littleone


(in reply to allthatjaz)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Humiliation - 10/2/2008 2:47:49 PM   
scottishdove


Posts: 113
Joined: 7/27/2008
Status: offline 		when i think of humiliation, i primarily think of sexual humiliation: being called a slut, whore, c**t.. preferably in the context of active sexual play.. being directed to display myself, perhaps dress as a whore, do whorish things. Do physical things, being manhandled in a way that says I am just there for him to use as he pleases him the most.

Would also be interested in some humiliating exhibitionism... only in front of other lifestyle people however, not the unsuspection public... being treated in a sexually humiliating way at a BDSM play party where others could see...

really, i would have to try it to see how i would react to such things in real life..

at least, i think i would like this.. it drives me wild in fantasy, but never had to nerve to ask for it with my first Master (he was too dignified and pretty much did things strictly his way, anyways).

Maybe with my next Master, after we know each other well, i might ask for it.. would sure love to try it...

as for humiliation in terms of going outside with a mismatched outfit or bad makeup.. i would find that embarrassing, but not particularily humiliating.

(in reply to littleone35)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Humiliation - 10/2/2008 7:00:07 PM   
lizcgirl


Posts: 287
Joined: 4/13/2008
Status: offline 		Humiliation can seriously be dangerous ground. What one person would enjoy could bring out some serious mental scars in another. Like so many have said on here, get to know the sub first. I'd also suggest starting small and in private before doing anything on a grand scale. Some would find being walked on a leash humiliating, some would hate to be called names like slut, whore, etc. It all depends. Maybe ask the sub some of the experiences she's had that she enjoyed, and some that she would not enjoy, and then like I said start small and in private. That way, if she freaks out or it starts to go negatively, you can stop immediately and tend to the problem.

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(in reply to scottishdove)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Humiliation - 10/3/2008 9:07:22 AM   
bound4more


Posts: 128
Joined: 10/3/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: akisha

I don't do humiliation. I instantly shut down and have a driving desire to kick the person squarely in the jewels.

But that's just me. Many are totally into it *S*


ha ha ha ha ha - priceless!!

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(in reply to akisha)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Humiliation - 10/3/2008 3:33:36 PM   
MrHarsh


Posts: 56
Joined: 9/28/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeptha
I think it makes a good fantasy, but as others have mentioned, in reality discovery could be just too ...imminent! And, there's something about the proximity; if a door opens or someone turns down the hallway, voila!, they're involved in the scene (as incidental spectators or witnesses at the very least.)
And because they can't consent to that, and it is possible there could be minors involved, it's not a good idea.
I have done things in the woods where there is the potential for discovery, but I think the greater distances could give all involved time to react, change course, etc.


I guess I should point out that where I live - Vermont, US - there are some very relaxed public nudity laws.  You could, for example, leave your house naked, walk to the corner store, pick up a newspaper, and walk back without doing anything illegal.  It's not unusual to see naked sunbathers in our parks.  We have annual parades of naked joggers and cyclists.  I think that public nudity might be viewed just a little differently up here than in other parts of the world.

So technically, I could ask my sub to go ride her bicycle through the streets of Burlington on a Saturday afternoon (as long as it wasn't too cold) and there wouldn't be anything illegal.

Obviously that's different than putting her on a leash and having her crawl through the streets of Burlington.  That would be too much .... at least on a Saturday afternoon....

(in reply to Jeptha)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Humiliation - 10/4/2008 5:43:57 PM   
tightropes


Posts: 17
Joined: 7/31/2004
Status: offline 		There are so many variables when it comes to humiliation in a Ds context.  As many others have said, it is so idiosyncratic.  Some subs don’t take to it at all and have made it a hard limit.  Others crave it and find it an overpowering part of their Ds experience.  Still others will go along because their dominants want it and get pleasure from imposing it.  

I’m a heterosexual male submissive who “needs” humiliation but definitely within limits.  What works for me is being humiliated in a safe environment, meaning not in public and not among non-consensual third parties.  I’ve long believed that those of us who crave humiliation do so precisely because we typically take ourselves far too seriously in everyday life where we avoid any situation which might undermine our ego and authority and make us feel humiliated.  We compensate for that by seeking humiliation in private.  As a professional in everyday life, the “best” humiliation for me typically involves taking me down a step or two or way more, stripping me of my status and ego, treating me in ways wholly removed from the role of a professional, and often doing all this in the company of others who have consented to participate.   

So, in private, among other things, I have been collared and leashed, made to crawl and kneel on all fours sometimes with the help of a humbler, forced to eat from a bowl on the floor, required to bow my head and avoid eye contact, and required to ask for permission to speak.  My sense of humiliation has been significantly deepened when I have been treated in these ways in the presence of friends of my dominant who are scene friendly.  But before I have consented to this kind of treatment on a regular basis, I have developed trust in my dominant – knowledge that she may enjoy humiliating and even degrading me but in the context of deeply caring for me and not causing me irreparable harm.

< Message edited by tightropes -- 10/4/2008 5:45:54 PM >

(in reply to MrHarsh)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Humiliation - 10/5/2008 4:11:36 AM   
iwearpanties


Posts: 509
Joined: 7/21/2005
Status: offline 		i think tight ropes has hit the nail on the head for humiliations for many of us that seek want and beed and crave humiliations

(in reply to tightropes)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Humiliation - 10/5/2008 11:09:16 PM   
babygurlrides


Posts: 90
Joined: 8/13/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Daes



My Master saw that I was getting upset so instead he teased me, hugged me, apologized then told me that I Was going to sing for him before the night was over.

Which I did, albeit with some embarassment.

He made me sing Good Ship Lollipop while he fucked me on my bed >.>;



Hahaha.. excellent:))

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I'd call you a cunt, but you lack both the depth and the warmth!
(my favorite t-shirt slogan)

(in reply to Daes)
Profile   Post #: 39
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