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persephonee -> journalling for your own good (10/2/2008 5:18:06 AM)

i recently tried to start a journal on my own...i know i have intimacy issues and i thought it would be a good idea to at least work on journalling now so that in the future i wont be so reticent to share my thoughts with another.

i say "tried" because, even tho i know full well that this is my own journal and that no one is going to read it, i am having such a physical response to it...as in, i physically feel tense and kind of tight when i even look at it...and its such a cute lil journal...found it on a sale table at Borders.

i assume no one out there is as neurotic as i am, so ill pose this question...

Is there something i can do to make journalling easier to do emotionally?...i was thinking of just picking a topic and make it like a blog, but i find that i just get into the cadence of being witty (trying to entertain) which is one of the ways i deflect intimacy in my relationships...and this is all just me in my jammies trying to write a paragraph or two in a blank journal. (and i know im only witty to myself...no need to let me know that...[:D])

Any suggestions would be so appreciated.

peace and pleather

perse



angelikaJ -> RE: journalling for your own good (10/2/2008 5:29:09 AM)

I think maybe engaging in the practice of "morning pages" is a good way to ease into the habit of writing.
http://paperartstudio.tripod.com/artistsway/id3.html

Or..make a commitment to write every day for a week...even if it's just to say you don't want to be doing this...and then renew your commitment for another week...




GreedyTop -> RE: journalling for your own good (10/2/2008 6:38:45 AM)

*smooches Pers*

Try looking at it as if you're writing a story in first person...



persephonee -> RE: journalling for your own good (10/2/2008 6:59:30 AM)

angelika...totally forgot i own that book....blows dust off the shelf and starts looking....great idea...

GT...zactly....good thinkin....thanks and *tacklesmootchhiesss* (New Milo is staring at me and trying to gauge for weaknesses....im doomed today. i swear, im gonna love her out of her kittypsychosis.)



writerly808 -> RE: journalling for your own good (10/2/2008 7:40:02 AM)

I'm not sure I know of a way to make it easier. Of course, my emotions tend to be a rather screwed up combination of open and bottled up at the same time. I usually don't mind admitting to being in a certain mood, to a degree... it's the why that gets me.

At least, in person. I have little compunction about rambling on and on in my InsaneJournal. (Of course, I can only recall one instance in the past year where I've actually gone deeply in-depth about my mood and the cause, and that was because I was downright furious.) I do tend to vastly generalize the cause of most emotions, though; but some are exactly what they appear to be. Such as unbridled glee and anticipation of November (NaNoWriMo'08, baby!). Hehe. :P

All I can say is.. make commitments, stick to 'em even if you end up going completely off topic, even do quick little one-liners ("I'm sad because ____" or "I'm angry" or "I hate life" or...whatever!) if that's all you can bring yourself to do before the neurosis chomps down. :P Eventually you'll say to yourself, "This isn't so bad..." and maybe start trying to bring it closer and closer to what you wanted it to be from the outset. Just be patient with yourself and don't expect to be comfortable with it overnight, and all will work out. ;D (I'm sure that if I wasn't so deeply invested in and comfortable with the written word, I'd be neurotic about writing such intimate stuff down, too. :) )



Dnomyar -> RE: journalling for your own good (10/2/2008 7:40:15 AM)

First you need to take off the jammies.  Just start writing. Your style will change as you go along.



girlivy -> RE: journalling for your own good (10/2/2008 7:45:24 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: persephonee

i recently tried to start a journal on my own...i know i have intimacy issues and i thought it would be a good idea to at least work on journalling now so that in the future i wont be so reticent to share my thoughts with another.

i say "tried" because, even tho i know full well that this is my own journal and that no one is going to read it, i am having such a physical response to it...as in, i physically feel tense and kind of tight when i even look at it...and its such a cute lil journal...found it on a sale table at Borders.

i assume no one out there is as neurotic as i am, so ill pose this question...

Is there something i can do to make journalling easier to do emotionally?...i was thinking of just picking a topic and make it like a blog, but i find that i just get into the cadence of being witty (trying to entertain) which is one of the ways i deflect intimacy in my relationships...and this is all just me in my jammies trying to write a paragraph or two in a blank journal. (and i know im only witty to myself...no need to let me know that...[:D])

Any suggestions would be so appreciated.

peace and pleather

perse

Good Morning! Thanks for this posting!  In the same boat here, and at times it takes on more water than not, some days it flows, while other days it sinks! Wish i could suggest something to help at this time, but it seems i have also something to learn from this post.  See, there are others just as neurotic as yourself, and sometimes (for myself)that is a help  knowing your not alone... Best of luck to you!
Cheers!



Twicehappy2x -> RE: journalling for your own good (10/2/2008 7:49:48 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

First you need to take off the jammies.  Just start writing. Your style will change as you go along.


At 40 degrees it is too cold to take off the jammies. Anyway, don't you know flannel is sexy?



ranja -> RE: journalling for your own good (10/2/2008 7:58:50 AM)

There's nothing wrong with being witty to yerself, atleast then when you read things back it aint all doom and gloom and you might even make yourself laugh, in my book its good to keep the humor especially in journals to jourself keep up the good work



Chi -> RE: journalling for your own good (10/2/2008 8:09:35 AM)

Think of it as your book of life, a book filled with empty pages, you can lie when writing on these pages if you chose, it’s your book, you can share experiences, thoughts emotions or even just vent. You can be as serious or whimsical as the mood strikes you or you can leave the pages blank and just stare at them. I prefer to begin each day’s journal with a jotted little note about a child’s laughter; the sparkle in their eyes or with thoughts of the trust a 3 year-old child has for its mother. Somehow a deep introspect manifest and the words being typed are not part of my cognitive mind, they seem to flow from the inner man of me and it’s as if I were beside myself looking at another distant  part of who and what I am.



persephonee -> RE: journalling for your own good (10/2/2008 8:25:15 AM)

~FR~

You all are giving such great suggestions and ive already started todays entry...so happy i posted this, ive been trying to do this thing for a while now...super helpful...really.

And Ray...you just want me out of my jammies in general....im onto you....hehe.



rookey -> RE: journalling for your own good (10/2/2008 9:18:52 AM)

To struggle with the page, is to struggle with a jigsaw puzzle of ideas and emotions.  How do you fit them together?

At the risk of sounding presumptuous I doubt if you are uniquely neurotic, many people have had to deal with issues of self doubt at one time or another.  Perhaps you could learn from their experiences?  Don't put yourself down as it is a serious mistake, you ain't shit, even if you think you are. 

I privately keep a journal and when I write down my thoughts and doubts, I find my thinking becomes clearer.  Confusion and doubt lifts away so I can develop a clear idea of the reality of the situation I find myself in.  I see where I am and know what to do next.  The pieces fit together.

The secret is to keeping on writing until you hit eureka!  Stephen King has described writing as refined thinking, well at least that is how it should be. 

The more you write, you more you grow. 

When you can concisely express your thoughs and feelings in a few succinct words, then you've probably got them to fit them together.



aravain -> RE: journalling for your own good (10/2/2008 9:25:19 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: persephonee

i recently tried to start a journal on my own...i know i have intimacy issues and i thought it would be a good idea to at least work on journalling now so that in the future i wont be so reticent to share my thoughts with another.

i say "tried" because, even tho i know full well that this is my own journal and that no one is going to read it, i am having such a physical response to it...as in, i physically feel tense and kind of tight when i even look at it...and its such a cute lil journal...found it on a sale table at Borders.

i assume no one out there is as neurotic as i am, so ill pose this question...

Is there something i can do to make journalling easier to do emotionally?...i was thinking of just picking a topic and make it like a blog, but i find that i just get into the cadence of being witty (trying to entertain) which is one of the ways i deflect intimacy in my relationships...and this is all just me in my jammies trying to write a paragraph or two in a blank journal. (and i know im only witty to myself...no need to let me know that...[:D])

Any suggestions would be so appreciated.

peace and pleather

perse


Hi have very, very adverse reactions to journaling in a 'hard' format, like a notebook. I start to sweat when I see it, and feel anxious that someone will read it, even if there's absolutely no one who will (and, really, it's usually just boring stuff.

And I'd also fall into the same tendency for 'wit' and entertainment in my blog.

So I did something new. I've combined the two. I write in my blog, but archive the posts as private. They're just for me... for one whole month. Then I unarchive them to the general public.

It satisfies my needs to journal and helps me to feel better, release steam, etc...... and I know that, because of the eventuality of people reading them, that I'm more likely to journal on any given day, because I don't want my friends to be bored in a month XD Which is funny, because they've admitted that they do not read the old entries (and find them dull), but I still feel that way.



Dnomyar -> RE: journalling for your own good (10/2/2008 9:58:17 AM)

If you can write in here then you can write anywhere. Twice do those jammies have a trap door in them.



Daes -> RE: journalling for your own good (10/2/2008 10:43:41 AM)

journaling isnt easy once you begin to delve into things that, on some conscious level, you want to hide even from yourself.

I had to Force myself to look into things and write them down. Sometimes I wanted to lie, in my own journal, which was Only for me. When I felt this urge I had to stop for a moment then really look at what was making me so uncomfortable, then face it and start writing again.

My journal, for this reason, is Extremely private. I use it as a way of facing my problems, to really look at the underlying issues of what makes me feel the way I do. Sometimes I need to just be honest about myself, my feelings, and my fears. My journal is a way of venting that negative energy and getting it out of my system, but the process for doing that can be difficult sometimes.



RealSub58 -> RE: journaling for your own good (10/2/2008 11:04:57 AM)

I have journaled practically all my life.
I tend to isolate myself, compartmentalize issues and I have found this is the best way to see my emotions, thoughts and secrets on paper.  Once on paper, they become things I can better deal with.
 
When I travel someplace I take a leather lined book I was given as a gift.  But have learned that if I do not do it on line, in some sort of format, I use blogspot, I have lost entries when my computer crashes.
 
I do not make a practice of going back and reading entries unless they pertain to something I am writing, feeling, thinking at the moment.
 
When my therapist gives me an "assignment" I do it in my journal, and if I need to discuss something I have written with her, I copy, paste and print.   She keeps these things in my file in her office.
 
I have learned that at times I have things so confused and distorted in my heart and mind, that writing them.....  in whatever format comes to me that day... I do so.
 
But I recently learned that I have written things in my journal that must be told to my Sir....I have isolated that much at times.  I have withheld important information from him, not realizing it.
 
I have worked things through in regards to depression, PTSD stuff, anxiety, social isolation, DID stuff, and just pain, fer and rejection issues. 
 
Blog spot have privacy options.  No one has a right to make comments on my heart and mind issues unless I copy, paste and share.
 
This is my way of coping with life, myself and issues.  Yes for my own good.  Sometimes I will just past a pic I found that summarizes it all.  Lyrics that have made me sob are also copy and pasted there.
 
Do this type of activity for whatever you need to do it for ... format doesn't need to bother as these are your words and who cares but you how and when they are put down.  Just getting them out of the self and onto readable type helps work through alot of "stuff."
 
Best of luck



MrHarsh -> RE: journaling for your own good (10/2/2008 11:19:58 AM)

Try writing your journal entries as letters to someone.  It can be a made up someone, or a real someone.  Maybe you can write the letter to the you that you want to be, whoever that is ... your inner slut? your inner goddess? your inner naughty schoolgirl?

The other possibility is do something less private.  Find a friend you can write to to help encourage you along the way. Maybe someone you can exchange experiences with.



FRSguy -> RE: journaling for your own good (10/2/2008 11:33:22 AM)

Write a letter to a fictitious charecter until you become more comfortable, write about the days events and how you feel about them.  Read an article that stirs and write about it.  Do essays on topics of interest. Set aside a definate writing time each day.  Dont hesitate to write about nothing. If you have a cool journaling book then warm up the printer and dont hestitate to print stuff out and stick it in the book as a reference like "Today I was reading a post in CM that really caught my eyes..." (stick in print out). Then explain what about it got you going and how you feel about it. You also might want to do little charts of things you did that can be quickly referenced... I use a code that appears in the corder of each that way when flipping through the topics are indexed. For instance if I got blown the night before the code is SB, if I visited my relatives its VR.  When I did my journaling in books I use to place it at the very top corner of the page and on the computer that I know use its used as a search criteria when searching through the pages.   This allows me to easily reference things that people tend to bitch about or things that tend to be eventfull.



MasterFireMaam -> RE: journalling for your own good (10/2/2008 5:15:59 PM)

How about doing a kind of scarp book thing. Pick an emotion, write that at the top of the age, then start putting in pictures of things that make you feel that way. You can also list things. Once you get in the habit of listing, it might progress naturally to writing.

Master Fire



subtex -> RE: journalling for your own good (10/2/2008 6:01:52 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: persephonee

i say "tried" because, even tho i know full well that this is my own journal and that no one is going to read it, i am having such a physical response to it...as in, i physically feel tense and kind of tight when i even look at it...and its such a cute lil journal...found it on a sale table at Borders.


I journal when I'm trying to figure something out but I don't write on a regular basis.  I don't know if this will help you but I write as a stream of consciousness as a conversation with my self.  I ask a lot of questions.  I never worry about what to write because I'm using my internal dialog.  If you think about it your internal dialog is always going and never runs out of things to say.  I always use my computer and sometimes delete it after I'm finished.  I don't know how it works but somehow writing things down makes things clearer.  All I can say is if you feel emotional about writing because you are afraid of the things that might come out remember that you are in control.
Bill




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