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Gifts - 12/4/2005 2:34:17 PM   
jadedsubgirl


Posts: 2
Joined: 3/23/2005
Status: offline 		I am owned by a Mistress whom I give up all of my earnings and finances to- unusal for a female slave, I know. I am not here to debate the morality or sanity or anything else regarding that. My Mistress belives in total control of Her slaves, money being no different than any other aspect of servitude, submission and obedience. And, She believes wholeheartedly (like no one else I've ever met before) that a Mistress owns and has full rights to everything of Her slave's. Again, I am not here to debate this.. this is how my Mistress lives and that is just the situation as it is... which I accept and live by as well in order to be Her slave.
So, I do not spend any money without Her permission and She decides what I can and can not buy or have. My bills are taken care of and for example, this month there is going to be quite a bit of allowances... christmas gifts for family, my hair straightened (I am lucky and quite grateful She is letting me do this.. it is VERY expensive), a very, very expensive family dinner I pay for in a very expensive restaurant which is tradition this time of year for us... etc. I have to keep track of everything I make and everything I spend and it has to add up or be very close. I turn my money over to Her and She gives me back what She decides including agreed upon expenditures and enough pocket money for gas and food and so forth.

So, my question is what am I supposed to do regarding gifts for Her? Before I became owned and served Her more casually, I often bought Her gifts - little ones and large ones and random ones and those for the occasions: birthday and Christmas. But, now that I turn everything over to Her, I originally thought that meant I no longer buy Her presents... She'd much prefer that aspect of control over me. But, I asked one of Her other slaves- male who has far less than I do in terms of possessions- and he said he asked Her once and She said something about maybe setting up a separate account for that, but it was never done. So, he doesn't have any answers either. I don't know what I am supposed to do.. I don't have a way of squandering away any significant amount of money by Christmas without Her knowing... She knows generally how much money I tend to make and it is pretty consistent and I don't feel comfortable lying to Her in any way even for the purpose of buying Her a gift (I once bought Her flowers since being owned because She was terribly upset about something; I asked permission to go out to eat and then spent the money instead on flowers and told Her that I had used the money She gave me permission to spend on eating out.. because I don't want to lie for any reason to Her). And, if I don't buy something but I am supposed to, then it would appear horrible.. that I did not get anything for my Mistress!!! I am at a loss ....

I feel asking Her would be sooo awkward and in a way tacky.... And, I am running out of time.. only 3 weeks left.

Any ideas what the right thing to do is?



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RE: Gifts - 12/4/2005 2:45:45 PM   
Sirandslut


Posts: 1
Joined: 6/28/2004
Status: offline 		Why not just ask her what she would prefer? Just because you want to buy her something doesn't mean that she will want you to purchase something for her. So perhaps bring up the subject to her asking how she would prefer things like Christmas, birthday, anniversary etc. presents be handled. Just be prepared for a response different than one you might wish to hear.

(in reply to jadedsubgirl)
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RE: Gifts - 12/4/2005 2:46:38 PM   
veronicaofML


Posts: 1317
Joined: 11/19/2005
From: from iowa..now in wisconsin
Status: offline 		communication is always best.....
and from what i read here..........you are in the same boat i am in...
i turn over everything........She even has access to my bank acct.
i hide nothing.

but She agreed i would be given an allowance to buy something for Her, the vanilla hubby and maybe something cute for the 2 dogs if i want to.

c o m m u n i c a t i o n !!

talk it over...

best wishes
happy holidays
p/s
i'm a guy


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drugs sex and rock n roll,...drugs are good and so is the rock n roll, sex is over rated"
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(in reply to jadedsubgirl)
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RE: Gifts - 12/4/2005 2:49:45 PM   
LilWhiteWolf


Posts: 58
Joined: 11/10/2005
Status: offline 		i think you should be honest with her and tell her you need to buy a few christmas gifts and need an allowance for that. if she asks who they are for, again be honest and tell her.
i won't comment on your situation because your relationship is between you and her. i just worry about her taking advantage of the financial situation but you are an adult and you chose to be in that situation.
good luck, happy holidays and remember, always be honest.

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RE: Gifts - 12/4/2005 3:44:50 PM   
MsIncognito


Posts: 742
Joined: 5/24/2005
Status: offline 		If you ask for extra to spend on other things at this time of year why wouldn't you just ask for some extra money to buy her a gift? That seems to be the most logical way to do it.

(in reply to jadedsubgirl)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Gifts - 12/4/2005 4:02:12 PM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline 		jade

I can appreciate the type of relationship you have with your Mistress as the arrangement you speak about seems similiar to that my slaves have with me.

Now firstly some assumptions, your relationship is about your Mistress having control in anyway she chooses to exercise her will upon you.

secondly, to evade/manipulate any situation/decision from your Mistress would be considered inappropriate behavior by your Mistress. So, taking action without proper clarifications from your Mistress would be simple Wrong.

Seek clarification directly from your Mistress.

ask the question.... Mistress am I allowed to purchase a christmas gift for you?

ask the question... Mistress may I have funds to purchase this gift for you? assuming she answers yes.

ask the question... Mistress do you wish to know exactly what I spend on your gift? assuming she answers no.

ask the question... Mistress may I have an specific amount for christmas presents to which this amount would include your gift.


the key is to ask small step by step questions. small steps of clarification increase you understanding and can lead you to a different path than the one presented.... or maybe down the same path...

Point is ASK!!!!



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Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to jadedsubgirl)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Gifts - 12/4/2005 4:16:20 PM   
LadyJulieAnn


Posts: 979
Joined: 6/29/2005
Status: offline 		Why does a gift for her have to cost money? Do you have any craft hobbies where you can make something for her? Is there a special meal she enjoys that you don't get to make for her often? Try to think outside of the monetary box.

Best of luck,
Julie

(in reply to jadedsubgirl)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Gifts - 12/4/2005 4:29:30 PM   
pandoravampire


Posts: 374
Joined: 12/6/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

jade

I can appreciate the type of relationship you have with your Mistress as the arrangement you speak about seems similiar to that my slaves have with me.

Now firstly some assumptions, your relationship is about your Mistress having control in anyway she chooses to exercise her will upon you.

secondly, to evade/manipulate any situation/decision from your Mistress would be considered inappropriate behavior by your Mistress. So, taking action without proper clarifications from your Mistress would be simple Wrong.

Seek clarification directly from your Mistress.

ask the question.... Mistress am I allowed to purchase a christmas gift for you?

ask the question... Mistress may I have funds to purchase this gift for you? assuming she answers yes.

ask the question... Mistress do you wish to know exactly what I spend on your gift? assuming she answers no.

ask the question... Mistress may I have an specific amount for christmas presents to which this amount would include your gift.


the key is to ask small step by step questions. small steps of clarification increase you understanding and can lead you to a different path than the one presented.... or maybe down the same path...

Point is ASK!!!!




What he said, perfect. *taps her forlock at KnighofMists*

(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Gifts - 12/4/2005 4:37:19 PM   
Phoenxx


Posts: 253
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: Swift Current
Status: offline 		Damn. KoM beat me to my best answer and Lady Julie Ann has my other idea.
I would add that ask her if you can have permission to set aside funds for other gifts during the year. Valentine's Day, birthdays, and simple happy gifts ;-)
That way you can still do things like this and know you are not stepping out of line with your terms of slavery.
Good luck
Tony

(in reply to jadedsubgirl)
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RE: Gifts - 12/4/2005 4:40:32 PM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: pandoravampire

What he said, perfect. *taps her forlock at KnighofMists*




TO My PROPERTY: wwwwwwoooooooooohhhhhhhhoooooooooo see my girls I am prefect *G*


TO pandoravampire: I have a headache too... *hands her some aspirin*




_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to pandoravampire)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Gifts - 12/4/2005 7:15:22 PM   
MHOO314


Posts: 3628
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline 		I am saddened, so many of you have focused on a material gift-- yet the greatest gift is one from the heart not from the wallet--no matter who it is for--we as a society must dig deeper to realize that we must make human gestures instead of buying gestures---give Me a hug from My child instead of anything wrapped under the tree and My life is fulfilled--

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SLUTS: Southern Ladies Under Tremendous Stress...

Mistress Hathor


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RE: Gifts - 12/4/2005 8:01:17 PM   
MistressYlwa


Posts: 263
Joined: 8/25/2005
Status: offline 		Think that KoM has given the best instruction, as far as asking about gifts for your Mistress. I expected the same from my boys. However I gave them an allowance and did not monitor what they did with the money given them.

The best gift I ever received was a flogger that one of my boys made me. It wasn't the best made or even the most attractive. But he worked so hard on it and was so proud to have made it for me. Meant more to me than anything he could have bought, because of the joy it gave him to give it. Still remember the smile that he would get, when I picked it from the toy box, to play with.

While I do not own a boy now, my play partners do give me gifts from time to time. Christmas is no different. But the nicest presents are the ones from the heart.

Good luck and let us know what happens.

Mistress Ylwa

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Mistress Ylwa

You see what power is - holding someone elses fear in your hand and showing it to them! - Amy Tan

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RE: Gifts - 12/4/2005 8:26:38 PM   
RiotGirl


Posts: 3149
Status: offline 		Jade, i've that SAME problem. Except slightly different as no substantial amount of money is ever in my hands. He just takes me shopping, like for others. But, i came up with an awesome idea for his birthday that wont cost a penny. Think of things that they want in life, outside of money. You should know her right? Whats her dreams, fears, desires, ect? Think of those and try and pull something from that, that you can give her that you know would make her happy.

(in reply to jadedsubgirl)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Gifts - 12/4/2005 8:37:47 PM   
MHOO314


Posts: 3628
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline 		I am saddened, so many of you have focused on a material gift-- yet the greatest gift is one from the heart not from the wallet--no matter who it is for--we as a society must dig deeper to realize that we must make human gestures instead of buying gestures---give Me a hug from My child instead of anything wrapped under the tree and My life is fulfilled-- have we missed the real meaning of giving?


_____________________________

SLUTS: Southern Ladies Under Tremendous Stress...

Mistress Hathor


(in reply to RiotGirl)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Gifts - 12/4/2005 9:25:40 PM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline 		Ask her what she would perfer...

Or, since you have expenditures...include a small amount in there, and when it is asked for what...reply honestly...to buy you a gift for christmas which I would like to keep a surprise and secret.

All she can do is say no

/shrug

(in reply to jadedsubgirl)
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RE: Gifts - 12/4/2005 10:43:52 PM   
imtempting


Posts: 1280
Joined: 2/11/2005
Status: offline 		Id wrap myself up with wrapping paper and sit under the tree :D

Then you can say, I give myself to you.

@irishmist. you use irc hey?

< Message edited by imtempting -- 12/4/2005 10:44:59 PM >

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RE: Gifts - 12/5/2005 2:26:48 PM   
MsSonnetMarwood


Posts: 1898
Joined: 2/10/2005
From: Eastern Shore, Maryland
Status: offline 		If you're on a tight rein with the finances, she should realize that you don't have a hord of money stashed to buy her a Christmas gift.

How about researching and learning a new skill that will please her? For example - learn to make her favorite Mexican food or to make fresh bread, learn to give her a pedicure, etc.

~S~

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~Ms. Sonnet Marwood~

Deja Moo: The feeling you've heard this bull somewhere before.

(in reply to imtempting)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Gifts - 12/5/2005 2:33:22 PM   
LadyKim


Posts: 191
Joined: 11/11/2004
Status: offline 		The way I see it you have a couple of good options.

First, you could ask her for an extra amount in your allowance in order to surprise her with a pretty package on Christmas morning.

Or you could ask her if she would allow you to retain some of your earnings in order to purchase a Christmas gift for her.

Or you could ask her if she would bring your checkbook with her on a shopping expedition where she chooses the gift she wishes to receive from you.

Good luck.
MzKim

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Profile   Post #: 18
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