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ChampagneMojito -> RE: What is sex (10/4/2008 9:41:03 AM)
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I see sex as a hugely important, primal part of my D/s relationship. I see my D/s relationship as a way to harness strong, sexual impulses and bring them into many mundane aspects of the relationship - e.g. washing the dishes can become foreplay if I order him to do them, etc.
But I think the OP is asking about the parts of D/s relationships, if there are any, that are not sexual in nature and where that division lies. For me, yes, my sexual impulses are a huge componant of why I sought a D/s relationship. But certainly, they're not the only driver.
I am a bossy, assertive woman. I like to express love for people important to me by taking care of them. I grew up in a house of arguments, and always wanted a relationship that was a peaceful, quiet place where my authority would be unchallenged. If I had never picked up a whip or learned to tie a knot in my life, I have no doubt I would still have selected a man with a submissive nature for my partner, who would essentially let me have the largest say in our home, social lives, etc.
There are plenty of such relationships out there - people snicker about them behind their hands saying 'she wears the trousers in that relationship' etc. - which do not sexualise that control or involve formal D/s structures.
In Ireland, women are traditionally strong, fiesty and outspoken. Even in the 50s, it would have been common for a man to have control over his work, etc., but the woman to run the home, manage the budget, the children, etc. and be deferred to by her husband in much of the decision-making. Plenty of my mother's friends are assertive, talkative, domineering women with quiet, biddable husbands. They're not all using dildos and japanese bondage. At least, I think they're not. [8|]
To sum up, while much of my D/s relationship is sexual, there are many parts that aren't yet nonetheless, form a hugely significant part of it.
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