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Do You Hunt, or Does Prey Come to You? - 10/4/2008 9:37:17 PM

Blaakmaan

Posts: 374
Joined: 5/21/2007
Status: offline

My question is:

Dominants: How do you find submissives?

Do you search the profiles looking for what you want and contact who you like, or do you wait for submissives to come to you and choose from those that do?

I ask because I've read several posts where submissives say (and I don't know if this is accurate or not), for example, that there are so many more submissives than Dominants, and that Dominants basically have their pick of submissives.

Well, suffice it to say that that has not been my experience, but I'm curious what the situation is for others. Maybe I've just been missing out...

By the way, I don't really consider submissives "prey," but I thought the analogy was apt.

Thanks in advance to all who reply.

Post #: 1

RE: Do You Hunt, or Does Prey Come to You? - 10/4/2008 10:01:48 PM

WestBaySlave

Posts: 501
Joined: 9/24/2008
Status: offline

According to the website statistics of most of places I've been, there usually are far more subs than doms... but most of the doms I've gotten to a friendship level with say they've had a hard time finding subs in real life, and an even harder time finding subs interested in a ltr.

I have no idea what the "truth" of the situation is in this instance, and not being a dom I can't give advice. Personally the majority of doms I chat to initiate the contact, but I'm sure there's no reason it has to be that way.

(in reply to Blaakmaan)

Post #: 2

RE: Do You Hunt, or Does Prey Come to You? - 10/4/2008 10:08:23 PM

Rover

Posts: 2634
Joined: 6/28/2004
Status: offline

Statistically speaking, Trevor Jacques' research reveals that there are more real time submissives than Dominants, and more female than male. But I believe his research fails to account for those bottoms who frequent professional Dominants, causing males to be under reported (given that male bottoms account for the vast majority of professional Dominant's clientele).

How that relates to online communities is anyone's guess. In case you hadn't noticed... this bears little resemblance to real time.

John

_____________________________

"Man's mind stretched to a new idea never goes back to its original dimensions."

Sri da Avabhas

(in reply to Blaakmaan)

Post #: 3

RE: Do You Hunt, or Does Prey Come to You? - 10/4/2008 10:32:05 PM

Honsoku

Posts: 422
Joined: 6/26/2007
Status: offline

I do both. I prefer that they write me, as it is a lot less work for me

Seriously, I prefer they write me because it shows that they aren't one of those "I'm going to sit here and be passive" types.

Dominants that have half a clue, can talk intelligently, have a good idea of what they are looking for, don't look like they are related to Quasimodo, and can get that first message read and replied to (instead of just having them deleted unread) pretty much do have their pick.

(in reply to Blaakmaan)

Post #: 4

RE: Do You Hunt, or Does Prey Come to You? - 10/4/2008 10:33:06 PM

Padriag

Posts: 2633
Joined: 3/30/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Blaakmaan

Do you search the profiles looking for what you want and contact who you like, or do you wait for submissives to come to you and choose from those that do?

Both

Online I usually have to do the contacting and sorting the "wheat from the chaff" because few female submissive will take the initiative online. Apparently the majority online are wilting violets too timid to write an email. Chat rooms offer slightly better odds of being approached or flirted with, but its still a crap shoot made more complicated by the fact that many are just playing online and will never go beyond that.

Offline I'm approached far more often. While I don't generally attend munches or events, I find there is no shortage of submissive women around. They may not be "active" in the lifestyle, but the potential is still there. Plus, most women I know have at least experimented with some form of kinkiness in the bedroom and that opens the door to more. I never cease to be surprised at just how many twenty somethings have fairly kinky fantasies, are either bi-sexual or bi-curious, as well as being at least mildly submissive. On the downside, apparently about 1 in 4 has some form of STD... so remember what Capt Condom says and wrap that willy! .oO(An get blood tests regularly, don't collar without one!)

_____________________________

Padriag

A stern discipline pervades all nature, which is a little cruel so that it may be very kind - Edmund Spencer

(in reply to Blaakmaan)

Post #: 5

RE: Do You Hunt, or Does Prey Come to You? - 10/4/2008 11:20:20 PM

ShadowsLap

Posts: 36
Joined: 2/26/2006
Status: offline

I've done both and received responses that have been across the board - from no response to an all caps denouncement that I'm a fake sub looking for a dominant to "TFTB". Most of the "hunters" insult my intelligence by trying to get my attention based on a stereotype of the woman they seek. Thank you, but no thank you is the usual response.

Unless one either reads my profile or makes an effort to get to know me (at least a little), one will never be able to classify me because the mold shattered when I emerged and there is NO stereotype that can be attached to me which will fit. THEN we throw the "Switch" label into the mix ...

IMO, one has to be interested enough in what you see in a profile or what is said in an initial conversation to make a connection. After that, you just have to get to know the person you're trying to explore. My feeling is that treating someone like a human being first allows a much more positive experience to ensue. That may sound naive, but many subs seeking a real life relationship are more likely to be amenable to deeper conversations when you reach out to their humanity - instead of treating them like property you've not earned the right to own.

SL

< Message edited by ShadowsLap -- 10/4/2008 11:22:09 PM >

(in reply to Padriag)

Post #: 6

RE: Do You Hunt, or Does Prey Come to You? - 10/4/2008 11:39:40 PM

myotherself

Posts: 7157
Joined: 3/9/2006
From: The cold bit of the UK
Status: offline

While I have contacted dominants whose profiles interest me, most of the time I don't need to. As soon as I changed my profile to 'seeking' I began to get messages from potential doms. Once I'd filtered out those who clearly hadn't read my profile (ie. married guys looking for a bit on the side) and the random weirdos (what is it with that guy and the glass egg?!) I've found many who fit the bill really well.

I'm not a shrinking violet who is too timid to email dominants, I just don't find I need to...

_____________________________

There's nowt so queer as folk

(in reply to ShadowsLap)

Post #: 7

RE: Do You Hunt, or Does Prey Come to You? - 10/5/2008 12:46:55 AM

masterforRT

Posts: 176
Joined: 5/16/2008
Status: offline

In RT they come to me.

Here...well let's say that it's so ridiculous that I don't even bother looking here any more.

(in reply to myotherself)

Post #: 8

RE: Do You Hunt, or Does Prey Come to You? - 10/5/2008 12:53:18 AM

Lordandmaster

Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline

A little bit of both, but the best prey has been prey that I've hunted.

(in reply to masterforRT)

Post #: 9

RE: Do You Hunt, or Does Prey Come to You? - 10/5/2008 2:42:33 AM

IronBear

Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline

This does not just apply to slaves but to women generally. I hunt the prey which comes to me in accordance of the shares and trails I have deliberately laid and bait I use. In effect I use female hunting psychology against females. Those who know me well know I am not adverse to using sorcery to lure the prey and to remove opposition seeing tht the laws of so called civilization frown upon me physically eliminating then.

< Message edited by IronBear -- 10/5/2008 2:46:15 AM >

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to Blaakmaan)

Post #: 10

RE: Do You Hunt, or Does Prey Come to You? - 10/5/2008 2:51:25 AM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

This sounds a bit conceited, but at times, it seems like they crawl out of the woodwork.

I don't hunt. I haven't found the need to. I know this is based entirely on the fact that I am a femdom and a sadistic one at that. Why put the effort into hunting when it's so easy to let them come to Me?

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to Lordandmaster)

Post #: 11

RE: Do You Hunt, or Does Prey Come to You? - 10/5/2008 3:14:20 AM

colouredin

Posts: 4279
Joined: 2/2/2007
Status: offline

In the past it has always been that Dominants have contacted me, my current relationship I sent the first message and asked to meet, however he 'chased' me after that so I guess for us it was a bit of both.

_____________________________

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I don't want to be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately

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(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 12

RE: Do You Hunt, or Does Prey Come to You? - 10/5/2008 3:31:28 AM

MistressRouge

Posts: 876
Joined: 3/18/2005
From: Birmingham West Midlands UK
Status: offline

Prey find me, hunting would be too much like hard work lol.

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(in reply to colouredin)

Post #: 13

RE: Do You Hunt, or Does Prey Come to You? - 10/5/2008 4:13:32 AM

SlayerZ

Posts: 100
Joined: 3/28/2005
Status: offline

I treat it the same as my vanilla life: I do the "hunting" as I find women chasing rather unseemly. In my personal point of view if women do the chasing then it's basically handed it to the guy on a silver plater. I would rather work for something that I truly wanted, rather than be approached by something that I don't.

I've been a member here for a few years now (on and off and even quit a few times) and I've browsed the profiles - I still do - I've also written to a few subs but I have never ever received a reply. I mean, ever. I don't think it would be out of the realms of possibility to suggest than the subs get to pick and choose their desired Doms, which to be is quite simply bizarre and it probably goes against the fundamental role of the D/s.

(in reply to MistressRouge)

Post #: 14

RE: Do You Hunt, or Does Prey Come to You? - 10/5/2008 4:30:31 AM

Aileen1968

Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
Status: offline

From a sub female point of view...
It didn't work out well for me the few times where I was the hunter. In fact, those were the times where things felt forced and uncomfortable. The times where I showed interest (by viewing their profile) and then stepped back to let him then take the lead in pursuing have worked out much better for me. A lot more intensity, excitement and compatability. I think I loose something mentally with someone if they don't show their dominance immediately with me.

_____________________________

(in reply to Blaakmaan)

Post #: 15

RE: Do You Hunt, or Does Prey Come to You? - 10/5/2008 4:30:36 AM

WhiplashSmile2

Posts: 526
Joined: 6/11/2008
Status: offline

Whenever I'm in the market looking for somebody, it works out like this. I am both active and passive in my hunt for somebody. However, it's when I'm not looking nor expecting to meet anybody is when somebody pops into my world.

(in reply to Blaakmaan)

Post #: 16

RE: Do You Hunt, or Does Prey Come to You? - 10/5/2008 4:45:10 AM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline

I think my personal style most closely resembles what Iron Bear has already typed.

The bait is out there. Many take it. A few interest me enough to lure them a bit closer so that I can take a look. If they play coy, they lose my interest. I like them crawling about for a bit, proving they really want it. Then once I am convinced, I like to swoop them up and drag them back to the farm.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to Blaakmaan)

Post #: 17

RE: Do You Hunt, or Does Prey Come to You? - 10/5/2008 5:21:16 AM

CallaFirestormBW

Posts: 3651
Joined: 6/29/2008
Status: offline

I do a little of both. Despite having a very active profile, with a fair number of both incoming inquiries and outgoing queries, we have -yet- to find a single suitable servant in the Houston area. I am also active in local 'meat life' groups, which helps substantially, since I have had opportunities through those activities to meet, scene with, and speak with some wonderful prospects.

It is true that there are far more submissive profiles than dominant profiles on groups like CM, but many of those are already in relationships, are at a substantial distance from any given dominant, are 'online only' profiles, are inactive, or are spam or duplicate profiles, so the numbers are a bit skewed.

In any case, there are probably, at most, about 4 or 5 individuals who will be suitable as long-term servants for our household -- so for us, until we find them, the odds are irrelevant.

Firestorm

_____________________________

***
Said to me recently: "Look, I know you're the "voice of reason"... but dammit, I LIKE being unreasonable!!!!"

"Your mind is more interested in the challenge of becoming than the challenge of doing." Jon Benson, Bodybuilder/Trainer

(in reply to Blaakmaan)

Post #: 18

RE: Do You Hunt, or Does Prey Come to You? - 10/5/2008 5:22:38 AM

tweedydaddy

Posts: 673
Joined: 9/1/2008
Status: offline

I consider that submissives are very much prey and I long to taste them all!
As a pair of married Doms we hunt together, hardly ever finding anyone on websites, our internet contacts are mostly for amusement, though we have found some wonderful playmates, it's as common to encounter people too nervous to do real life, no problem there. We are ambush predators, charming the pants off subs and then entertaining and amusing them until our little claws close.
We are a bit like vampires, we work our way in under the radar, that nice older couple couldn't possibly have an agenda, look, she's so cute and walks with a stick and he's so funny, and after all they only want me to play dress up, well why not? They're harmless after all. But then, when the games started and the wine started flowing it all made perfect sense, and then they did make me come harder than anything else ever did. I started off laughing with him, and then they both turned out to be so cuddly, and then I learned to really look forward to being spanked.
We cruise our usual haunts, having made lots of contacts we are always introduced to new people all the time, it is a numbers game afterall, the more you meet, the more you are ikely to meet people who want to play.
Seduction is our art and our sport and we are really really, good at it.
It does feel like hunting in aplayful way, we have to locate our prey and make friendly contact and establish if we are going to get anywhere as quickly as possible and if not move on. Besides, they love it. Most of our pets were vanillawhen we found them ,none have ever had cause to regret it.
Hunting as a pair is great fun, we are always looking for pets for each other and mostly they are shared, though she can keep her men for herself, we tend to look for the exotic whenever possible, she has found a stunning Iranian Lady for me recently and I am going to find her a tall Arab gentlleman.
I hasten to add that we establish that this is fun and that no relationship is necessarily on offer, though she has had some of her big boys for five years or more now. I just want everyone else to have as much fun as we do.

(in reply to Blaakmaan)

Post #: 19

RE: Do You Hunt, or Does Prey Come to You? - 10/5/2008 6:51:13 AM

Lashra

Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline

When I was actively looking I "hunted" for my prey and I didn't find what I was looking for. I found when I wasn't looking for a sub/slave I usually found them in places I'd least expect too. So I've done both.

~Lashra

_____________________________

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”

(in reply to Blaakmaan)

Post #: 20

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