RE: Do You Hunt, or Does Prey Come to You?

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RE: Do You Hunt, or Does Prey Come to You? - 10/5/2008 7:01:30 AM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

My view of being here... there must be far more men labeling themselves as dominant than women. I think women are just far less likely to join a site like this and put up with the crap on it in order to find a "dom".

My Daddy found me on alt, and he is the only man I have become involved with via an internet site. He has looked in the past in real life and the internet.

From a submissive perspective, there are more than enough men out there wanting to pursue alternative kinky sex. I know the dominants on this site think that most of them are horny net geeks and freaks.... and perhaps they are, but they are still interested in alternative kinky sexual relationships.... far more than there are women. I would suggest going to a munch or to clubs or other lifestyle events. Or just get used to the fact that if you find a particular profile appealing, 100s of other dominants do too, and you will probably have to compete.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to Blaakmaan)

Post #: 21

RE: Do You Hunt, or Does Prey Come to You? - 10/5/2008 7:01:33 AM

LadyJulieAnn

Posts: 979
Joined: 6/29/2005
Status: offline

When I was seeking, I did both. In the end, my boy wrote to me initially.

LadyJulieAnn

(in reply to Lashra)

Post #: 22

RE: Do You Hunt, or Does Prey Come to You? - 10/5/2008 8:17:19 AM

OttersSwim

Posts: 2860
Joined: 9/1/2008
Status: offline

I just went down to the water hole for a drink...

...and the next thing I know, she's -biting- me!

The nerve!

Ah yes, right there...

Warning! I am feeling Rascally this morning...

_____________________________

I am on a journey of authenticity and self.

(in reply to Blaakmaan)

Post #: 23

RE: Do You Hunt, or Does Prey Come to You? - 10/5/2008 8:38:31 AM

leadership527

Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline

I don't have "prey", I have life partners. I don't hunt. I go through life, meeting the myriad of human beings around me... some of whom I like more than others. From past experience, if I were to become available, one of the "like more" ones would end up being my new partner.

Who has their pick in the dating market is whoever is the most valuable commodity. I'd assume that wealthy, dashingly good looking rational doms probably don't have a hard time finding subs. I'd also assume that sexy, 23 year old swimsuit model subs probably don't have a hard time finding doms. It's all the rest of us that have to muddle along *laughs*.

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to Blaakmaan)

Post #: 24

RE: Do You Hunt, or Does Prey Come to You? - 10/5/2008 10:56:43 AM

goodgirlslave

Posts: 15
Joined: 6/13/2007
Status: offline

as a female sub actively looking, i can say one reasons it is hard for me is that i am not attracted to men who do anything to get my attention. i like the silent, confident type who does not need anything to be satisfied with life, even if he is alone. they get my attention by not looking. i suppose that is why the only Dom i am interested in at this point i saw at a munch, and he exhibitted no interest in me since he already has a Slave . . . . i think if i do meet a Dom from this site, it will be one i notice from his profile or forum post, that i reach out to with a hello, rather than anyone who contacts me. although, i could be attracted if his sub female partner reaches out for him. just my thoughts, with no experience to validate, so i appologive if i wasted your time . . .

(in reply to Lashra)

Post #: 25

RE: Do You Hunt, or Does Prey Come to You? - 10/5/2008 11:07:30 AM

hopelessfool

Posts: 988
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline

Nearly all my relationships were based on people messaging me. I personally prefer to contact the person first, because well. They show something that catches my interst. Usually those that message me ususally message out of a physcial want or response, not a mental one so..

Im the hunter, They are the protector. Are they prey? No, cats are hunters yet they frind protectors to keep them safe while they get into all sorts of trouble -nods nods-

_____________________________

" I have nothing left to give, I have found the perfect end, You remain to make it hurt, disappear in to the dirt, carry me to heavens arms.....Dear Agony Just let go of me, suffer slowly, is this the way its gotta be, Dear Agony...."

(in reply to goodgirlslave)

Post #: 26

RE: Do You Hunt, or Does Prey Come to You? - 10/5/2008 11:11:26 AM

NumberSix

Posts: 1378
Joined: 12/30/2006
Status: offline

I would rather they make it extremely plain to me that they are looking to be bagged by me, at first. That will be the very least of what my slave will be required to be absolutely plaintive about.

I have never had a deer come into the woods where I was standing and say, 'Take me!!!!!'

And so I see the couching of this as a little off the mark.

6

< Message edited by NumberSix -- 10/5/2008 11:13:05 AM >

_____________________________

"Who are you?"
"The new Number Two."
"Who is Number One?"
"You are Number Six.".
"I am not a number — I am a free man!"

Be seeing you...

(in reply to hopelessfool)

Post #: 27

RE: Do You Hunt, or Does Prey Come to You? - 10/5/2008 11:40:13 AM

Ialdabaoth

Posts: 1073
Joined: 5/4/2008
From: Tempe, AZ
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: goodgirlslave

as a female sub actively looking, i can say one reasons it is hard for me is that i am not attracted to men who do anything to get my attention. i like the silent, confident type who does not need anything to be satisfied with life, even if he is alone. they get my attention by not looking. i suppose that is why the only Dom i am interested in at this point i saw at a munch, and he exhibitted no interest in me since he already has a Slave . . . . i think if i do meet a Dom from this site, it will be one i notice from his profile or forum post, that i reach out to with a hello, rather than anyone who contacts me. although, i could be attracted if his sub female partner reaches out for him. just my thoughts, with no experience to validate, so i appologive if i wasted your time . . .

You do realize how problematic and unfair this is, right? If the fact that someone actively wants to acquire you makes you less attracted to them, you're going to spend all your time pining for people who are doing just fine without you, and people that you could make happy will spend all their time pining for you. No one wins.

(in reply to goodgirlslave)

Post #: 28

RE: Do You Hunt, or Does Prey Come to You? - 10/5/2008 11:57:01 AM

Jeptha

Posts: 780
Joined: 9/18/2008
From: Portland, Oregon
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Blaakmaan

My question is:

Dominants: How do you find submissives?

I've had 3 long-ish term relationships (I consider over a year to be "long-ish") where I specified in an ad on Craigslist that I was seeking a submissive. I know many will stick up their nose at Craigslist, but that's really ok. Those relationships were very worthwhile to me, and I'm still friends with my former partners from them.

It takes perseverance for a guy, because individual ad attempts often get zero results. Unlike a female friend of mine who can get up to 80 replies, to a single ad.
For her, it's a numbers game in reverse, in that she has to sort through so many ridiculous replies that they all start to sound the same very quickly.

So, I put it out there as explicitly as I can; I try and paint a fairly accurate picture of what I'm about and what I'm seeking. And I keep at it, because what are the odds that the one person who might be genuinely interested is going to be reading that day?

quote:

Do you search the profiles looking for what you want and contact who you like, or do you wait for submissives to come to you and choose from those that do?

I like looking at all kinds of profiles here, but mostly it's just out of curiosity.
If I were looking , I probably wouldn't search here, but that's just me. I'm pretty eclectic and don't really fit any one type.
I understand that a lot of people have had success in meeting others in real life that they first met here.
Still, if I were looking, I wouldn't be relying on submissives to come to me, here, or elsewhere.

quote:

I ask because I've read several posts where submissives say (and I don't know if this is accurate or not), for example, that there are so many more submissives than Dominants, and that Dominants basically have their pick of submissives.

Well, suffice it to say that that has not been my experience, but I'm curious what the situation is for others. Maybe I've just been missing out...

Though I haven't been on this particular site very long, still I'm going to go ahead and say that in general my experience aligns with yours.

If I want it done, I consider that I have to take the initiative.

Ok ~ maybe not every single time; it has happened, once in *very* distant awhiles that a woman has sought me out and we've seemed like a good match and I've gone along merrily.
But I consider that kind of thing pretty rare.

{edited to correct spelling of "perseverance".}

< Message edited by Jeptha -- 10/5/2008 12:00:35 PM >

(in reply to Blaakmaan)

Post #: 29

RE: Do You Hunt, or Does Prey Come to You? - 10/5/2008 11:59:15 AM

Lordandmaster

Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline

The rules of attraction are problematic and unfair, Ialdabaoth. Life is very unfair. We evolved in a condition where a minority of the men attracted a majority of the women. That's just how it goes.

(in reply to Ialdabaoth)

Post #: 30

RE: Do You Hunt, or Does Prey Come to You? - 10/5/2008 12:03:19 PM

Lynnxz

Posts: 4813
Joined: 10/3/2006
From: Atlanta
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeptha

I've had 3 long-ish term relationships (I consider over a year to be "long-ish") where I specified in an ad on Craigslist that I was seeking a submissive. I know many will stick up their nose at Craigslist, but that's really ok. Those relationships were very worthwhile to me, and I'm still friends with my former partners from them.

No way! :D I met C on craigslist, but not through the personal ads.

Personally, I don't hunt, but I do seem to attract a lot of submissive parasites.

_____________________________

HBIC

(in reply to Jeptha)

Post #: 31

RE: Do You Hunt, or Does Prey Come to You? - 10/5/2008 3:42:01 PM

softness

Posts: 2918
Joined: 8/1/2006
From: Leeds, UK
Status: offline

is equally hunter and hunted ... enjoys both equally

Currently I am the plaything of a Domme I pointed at in a club and said loudly to the DM ... "I want THAT one" ... I then looked suitably helpless next to a St Andrew's cross ... am also heavily engaged in several other games of Cat and mouse ... its all groovy

Remember in Tom and Jerry ... where it was always really obvious that although nature had everything stacked against him ... Jerry was always going to win? .... like that kind of Cat and mouse

_____________________________

proudly wearing the blue collar of consideration to DK Leather, Leatherdykeuk, and LeatherEagle of the UK KRueL Leather Family

veritas, respectus honorque in corio

(in reply to Lynnxz)

Post #: 32

RE: Do You Hunt, or Does Prey Come to You? - 10/5/2008 3:54:24 PM

ResidentSadist

Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline

both

_____________________________

-=BDSM Book List=- Reading is Fundamental !!!
I give good thread.

(in reply to Lashra)

Post #: 33

RE: Do You Hunt, or Does Prey Come to You? - 10/6/2008 10:41:19 AM

Jeptha

Posts: 780
Joined: 9/18/2008
From: Portland, Oregon
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lynnxz

No way! :D I met C on craigslist, but not through the personal ads.

Craigslist may be a no-frills, humble chariot of the people, but it's also brilliant.
When I was looking, I was on Bondagedots (bondage.com) and a couple of other sites for a while. No sub ever contacted me through those sites.

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

From a submissive perspective, there are more than enough men out there wanting to pursue alternative kinky sex. I know the dominants on this site think that most of them are horny net geeks and freaks.... and perhaps they are, but they are still interested in alternative kinky sexual relationships.... far more than there are women. I would suggest going to a munch or to clubs or other lifestyle events. Or just get used to the fact that if you find a particular profile appealing, 100s of other dominants do too, and you will probably have to compete.

This, it appears to me, is how it is. Subs *can* have their choice of dominants if they so wish, although sorting through the potential applicants can be a daunting task for some.

(in reply to Lynnxz)

Post #: 34

RE: Do You Hunt, or Does Prey Come to You? - 10/6/2008 2:45:06 PM

Misstoyou

Posts: 1149
Joined: 9/4/2004
Status: offline

I've done both, resulting in relationships with one from each.

Even though my profile is outside of most search parameters and says almost nothing, I've still been contacted by interesting submissives,

but there's still something about seeing what you want and going out to get it....

_____________________________

~ Miss Marie

a.k.a. "mean Lady"

(in reply to Blaakmaan)

Post #: 35

RE: Do You Hunt, or Does Prey Come to You? - 10/6/2008 2:50:48 PM

NormalOutside

Posts: 622
Joined: 1/8/2008
Status: offline

I enjoy it when I get a message other than spam (and other than replies to messages I've sent) but it doesn't happen often. Generally, I do the hunting. I enjoy it that way I suppose, but the search definitely isn't easy. In about a year using this site daily, I've made one relationship that moved to real time (met once, plan to meet again next time she's in town). Other than that, a couple friendships, but most of those seem to come and go.

I would be surprised if there are more submissives than dominants on this site. I guess it all depends how you classify people. There are many males on this site just here for easy sex and because the site is free, so that probably skews the stats.

(in reply to Lashra)

Post #: 36

RE: Do You Hunt, or Does Prey Come to You? - 10/6/2008 3:11:28 PM

WinsomeDefiance

Posts: 6719
Joined: 8/7/2007
Status: offline

I've been wondering something along these lines myself.

For some reason, and I'm not even sure where I picked this out-dated belief from, I always thought it inappropriate for a submissive to approach or initiate a correspondence with a Dominant and so I've always sat back and waited for them to contact me. Before I get disabused of this notion, I'm obviously aware it is a silly notion to have. In fact, I had a recent conversation about this with a couple of friends of mine who happen to be female slaves. I told this this view and one of them quite literally named me an idiot and told me that it was MY responsibility as a submissive to go out and flirt and woo the Dominant to me.

I'm not what I'd call a shrinking violet, and I can't imagine anyone who knows me would label me thus, but I just find this whole hunt for a dominant to be somewhat daunting. I like to think of myself as a fairly articulate person, and still I have yet to be able to bring myself to pen an email to any male dominant that I wanted to initiate contact with. Perhaps I'm simply lacking motivation. I suppose its too much to hope that someone will simply come along with a club and grab me by the hair? A girl can dream you know.

WinD

(in reply to NormalOutside)

Post #: 37

RE: Do You Hunt, or Does Prey Come to You? - 10/6/2008 3:16:20 PM

Sexycelticlady

Posts: 112
Joined: 7/20/2008
Status: offline

I don't like to hunt but if there is a profile I particularly like I will make the first contact. I also get lots of contacts from Doms but have found so many that simply do not have the experience (that as a newbie submissive I think I need in order to grow to my potential) and are just dabbling or are significantly older than myself (20+years), which is not a situaton I am comfortable with. There are a few exceptions, but they also are very busy in their own lives and meeting real time can be difficult. :)

(in reply to Lashra)

Post #: 38

RE: Do You Hunt, or Does Prey Come to You? - 10/6/2008 3:19:44 PM

persephonee

Posts: 5089
Joined: 12/15/2007
Status: offline

*chuckles at softness...*

Thats how i got mine too....blinkblink...

perse

_____________________________

You be the Captain; i'll be no one.

And You can carry me away....if You want to. ~Kasey Chambers

E*Whore, extraordinaire....

Nothing is exactly as it seems~Nor, is it otherwise.

(in reply to softness)

Post #: 39

RE: Do You Hunt, or Does Prey Come to You? - 10/11/2008 8:35:05 PM

graceadieu

Posts: 1518
Joined: 3/20/2008
From: Maryland
Status: offline

Well, while I've heard that about there being more subs than Doms.... I know on ALT, and I assume on here as well, there are also far more men then women. So for a male Dom looking for a female sub... the ball is in her court.

(in reply to Blaakmaan)

Post #: 40

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